I've realized its time to change mindset or permanently rot

[Ted Nugent]

**mandatory preface: TL,DR, nice diary, and OP is most def a ****go**

spending new years at home tonight solo and been doing a lot of self reflection and i have realized the following:

-i've worked in vastly different careers, trying stuff that interested me rather than being the dreaded "cubicle drone", every area of interest i thought i'd love working in i went out and did the damn thing...and i ended up hating doing it as my bread & butter job. rinse and repeat multiple times
-i've traveled the world, everyone says it will change your perspective and open your eyes...meh not so much, take away the regional/cultural differences and vast majority of people are the exact same and all are completely predictable and follow basic human psychology/programming, the cool "scenic/touristy" things are fun and great memories, but the buzz rapidly wears off
-toiled away for an impressive physique, achieved "chad status", and smashed enough random girls to the point of literally losing count, had a hardcore dedicated GF who wanted marriage/kids/etc...both in both situations i ended up being unhappy and a "grass is greener situation"
-i've made very good money with low stress, and exact opposite, and aside from having slightly less anxiety about bills/etc and more money to buy random sh*t i was not drastically happier, the "thrill" of having money and buying stuff disappears so damn fast its scary

^^^ all the things that supposed to make you feel complete and bring you happiness...and yet it feels like life is a hamster wheel, you give it %110 and slog through the trenches and chase down new experiences and dreams and milestones and then somehow you end up at the same old point of just feeling miserable/whats the point/etc.

My view of the world is pretty stark and nihilistic, i consider it a realistic and factually based viewpoint, and i dont think i could "convert" myself to just believing everything is going to be okay and Jesus will have my back and stuff like that. And TBH it is mentally and emotionally exhausting because it feels like life will be a literal endless struggle to find peace of mind and happiness. At risk of sounding like a completely narcissistic douchebag...i know people IRL who are "simple folk" and things like having a decent career, a gf, and Sunday football makes them happy as a clam without a cloud in the sky, kind of like an "ignorance is bliss" scenario, i truly envy them TBH. On the other hand i am very self critical, constantly saying "you can do better"/"you should have done this"/"you would be happier if you hadnt been so stupid and had the foresight to do _____". I know i can achieve what i want, but whats the point of grinding away because when the dust settles i'll feel the same as i did before? The never-ending cycle.

I'm starting to realize that i don't think I'll ever find that "nirvana" I've been chasing as a result of outside forces (job/money/etc) and that its got to come from "within". A lot of people recommend "positive thinking" routines where you literally force yourself to be positive, or meditation, or finding some "higher purpose", and other stuff. I've never put much thought or weight into that stuff, i assumed it was mostly just charlatans whoring out their feel good strategy to part fools from their money.

If you've actually read this sh*t and can relate and/or recommend any good material/etc pertaining to improving the mindset for a happier life i'll shower thee with green tokens of gratitude

Happy new years *******s

[ZMAg]

Cliffs or reported

[Ted Nugent]

Cliffs or reported

paragraphs 3 & 5 you lazy puta

[Jburn]

Your soul runs on a different fuel op, not those things.

If you want the fuel, ask the mechanic.

[eod8989]

Happiness doesn't come from within, it's way more complex than that. If you don't have what you truly want in life, you will always be unhappy. For example, if you aren't happy making 100k or don't have a gf, you will be unhappy. Everyone is different and they look for happiness in different things

You must fill the void

[Ted Nugent]

Your soul runs on a different fuel op, not those things.

If you want the fuel, ask the mechanic.

mechnic pls

[MrTrapper08]

I dont know how i feel about this

[midcoastking33]

status seeking chit always leads to the same end

[dadsboner]

Your making me insecure

[Ted Nugent]

status seeking chit always leads to the same end

wasnt really chasing "status", for my entire life i always thought those were things that would make me happy, but finding out they werent makes you realize "uhh...so wtf now"

[TinySquats]

Download Headspace app for meditation.

Spirituality isn’t a bad thing. It was important for you to go through these different avenues of the American dream before realizing these aren’t what is truly valuable to you. Pick up a new hobby and improve on it, it’ll make you more fulfilled in the long run too.

Find meaning in your experiences and day to day life, appreciate the little things. For me, I look at whether the sun is out, or how a flower is still blooming in winter.

[OPGenesis]

I've read this story over and over again from other high achievers. Most stories end with these individuals reducing their lifestyle to more simplistic terms.

I haven't lived the life you have, but have noticed that when I procured things that I thought would make me happy, they didn't. So now when I complain about not having the things I think I need in life to be happy, I just reflect on the times a did procure something I thought I needed, and after a day or two going right back to feeling depressed.

It's like a hole that can never be filled. I've often looked to God to fill it, but that hasn't worked either.

Good luck, brah.

[Ted Nugent]

Download Headspace app for meditation.

Spirituality isn’t a bad thing. It was important for you to do through these different avenues of the American dream before realizing these aren’t what is truly valuable to you. Pick up a new hobby and improve on it, it’ll make you more fulfilled in the long run too.

Find meaning in your experiences and day to day life, appreciate the little things. For me, I look at whether the sun is out, or how a flower is still blooming in winter.

I've read this story over and over again from other high achievers. Most stories end with these individuals reducing their lifestyle to more simplistic terms.

I haven't lived the life you have, but have noticed that when I procured things that I thought would make me happy, they didn't. So now when I complain about not having the things I think I need in life to be happy, I just reflect on the times a did procure something I thought I needed, and after a day or two going right back to feeling depressed.

It's like a hole that can never be filled. I've often looked to God to fill it, but that hasn't worked either.

Good luck, brah.

thanks for feedback m8's

[US_Ranger]

OP, I hear you man. (srs)

I've been all over the world and I really enjoyed it but it's not a sustainable life-long thing (traveling without some sort of goal). I've had a high paying job that's 150k a year or so. I was miserable. I've been completely broke as I am now working a job I really enjoy but make absolute **** money doing. I mean absolute **** money. The fulfillment of work is there but the stress of having no money is also there. I can't seem to find the happy medium. I've tried meditating (can't seem to do it) and all sorts of other things. Being outside makes me happy but once again, how do I make $$$ and be outside all day doing what I want to do vs some crap job?

I think I'm going to try a silent meditation retreat. (srs) Look into it as well. I hear it has similar effects as mushrooms when you actually get past the initial hump of annoying yourself while sitting there trying to meditate. I'm not sure where else to go with it. I found the happiest was when I was being shot at in the middle east and 100% of my focus was on killing the enemy and protecting my guys. Nothing else has ever come close to that. That's also not sustainable so it seems the next step is to find positive thinking in some way that isn't BS.

If you think of something that works, let me know.

[sabonis224]

I feel the same way you do to a certain extent OP. I always thought I'd have a revelation, a point in time where I just felt content. Where I was actually happy. No matter what that never comes; life is full of demons and it's all about holding them at bay to the best of ones abilities.

[wincel]

why don't you try learning something interesting and important

[Legz422]

Have you ever thought about giving back? Do you volunteer? I highly recommend volunteering for causes that you believe in. Helping people/animals that can't help themselves really gives you perspective on other things in your life and makes you appreciate what you do have.

[Avalanche3319]

Don't have much in the way of advice, but have you read "Man's Search for Meaning?" by Viktor Frankl. It seems like a book that could shed some perspective on your own feelings of "purpose."

[midcoastking33]

the other thing is that happiness is transient; it's not a permanent state. there's no pot at the end of the rainbow

[GravityLee]

Have you ever thought about giving back? Do you volunteer? I highly recommend volunteering for causes that you believe in. Helping people/animals that can't help themselves really gives you perspective on other things in your life and makes you appreciate what you do have.

This is the only thing that has ever made me feel a real connection other than really kind nice women and friends

[Dutch24]

Know this feeling very well.

Try being in that place, ten years down the road.....it aint pretty.

I am personally going to try and read The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment - meant to help people "like us".

Good luck bro.

[Ted Nugent]

Being outside makes me happy but once again, how do I make $$$ and be outside all day doing what I want to do vs some crap job?

I found the happiest was when I was being shot at in the middle east and 100% of my focus was on killing the enemy and protecting my guys.

can relate strongly to those two. i generally feel happiest being in the woods whether its cutting firewood or hiking or exploring. just basic survival/primal stuff feelsgoodman. but i cant just live in the woods all day shiiieetttt

I feel the same way you do to a certain extent OP. I always thought I'd have a revelation, a point in time where I just felt content. Where I was actually happy. No matter what that never comes; life is full of demons and it's all about holding them at bay to the best of ones abilities.

know them feels brah

why don't you try learning something interesting and important

this is actually one of my "goals" for 2018, at worst it takes my mind of the constant existential doom, at best it creates actual happiness/opens new doorways. hopefully it helps

Have you ever thought about giving back? Do you volunteer? I highly recommend volunteering for causes that you believe in. Helping people/animals that can't help themselves really gives you perspective on other things in your life and makes you appreciate what you do have.

thats actually a good idea. whenever someone asks "what would your dream job be" my answer has always been "killing poachers" or "destroying ****philes/sexual abusers", very few things bother me but those two scenarios instantly make my blood boil and doing something to combat that would def bring fulfillment. unfortunately i cant just kill poachers because of stupid "laws", but if i could get a open ticket on them i'd camp out in the bush 24/7

will look into volunteer stuff

Don't have much in the way of advice, but have you read "Man's Search for Meaning?" by Viktor Frankl. It seems like a book that could shed some perspective on your own feelings of "purpose."

will check out that book thank u

[elite_nhl]

Bro you're bored. srs.

Find something that interests you and more importantly challenges you. Work at it.

I've come to this conclusion for my self as well after finishing school, landing a great/stress free job and a decent physique.

[RushEm]

its the little things (srs)
A hot shower makes me happy. A clean haircut. Watching a damn good movie with my family.
I'm thankful for sites like the misc and posts like this cause I honestly would've wasted many years in my life chasing happiness. So thankyou brah.

[Legz422]

This is the only thing that has ever made me feel a real connection other than really kind nice women and friends

Helping others is the best feeling for sure!

\

thats actually a good idea. whenever someone asks "what would your dream job be" my answer has always been "killing poachers" or "destroying ****philes/sexual abusers", very few things bother me but those two scenarios instantly make my blood boil and doing something to combat that would def bring fulfillment. unfortunately i cant just kill poachers because of stupid "laws", but if i could get a open ticket on them i'd camp out in the bush 24/7

will look into volunteer stuff

I think that you will get a lot out of it. Good luck.

[Mr.PissShivers]

Same boat

[US_Ranger]

thats actually a good idea. whenever someone asks "what would your dream job be" my answer has always been "killing poachers" or "destroying ****philes/sexual abusers", very few things bother me but those two scenarios instantly make my blood boil and doing something to combat that would def bring fulfillment. unfortunately i cant just kill poachers because of stupid "laws", but if i could get a open ticket on them i'd camp out in the bush 24/7

Strong everything.

I worked in Africa tracking poachers for 6 months. (srs) It was the most surreal, amazing, raw experience I've ever had. Everything out there can kill you. I was tracking poachers while **** that wanted to eat me was tracking me. It was something else. More close calls in that 6 months than all the time in the military and government work combined. Unbelievable experience but, once again, not sustainable for long term living.

Also, I'm a part of an organization that deals with child trafficking prevention. And, ONCE AGAIN, the issue is that there's no way to make a solid living (so far) by tracking these cock suckers down and killing them.

Sounds like we're in the same boat in a lot of ways bro. Like I said, I'm going to give a silent meditation retreat a try (5 or so days) and see if that works. Worst case scenario is I feel like an idiot for wasting some time and money. Not sure what else to do.

[MinisterOfLust]

Meditation is probably the easiest thing that could bring clarity to your life.

[Ted Nugent]

Bro you're bored. srs.

Find something that interests you and more importantly challenges you. Work at it.

I've come to this conclusion for my self as well after finishing school, landing a great/stress free job and a decent physique.

that could def be a major component. whenever i find something im interested in i go balls deep for a few weeks then pretty much drop off. should probably get an ******** script, when i took it in college i was a productivity MACHINE oh lawd haha.

Same boat

thought you were out in Hollywood writing screenplays chasing the dream brah?

Strong everything.

I worked in Africa tracking poachers for 6 months. (srs) It was the most surreal, amazing, raw experience I've ever had. Everything out there can kill you. I was tracking poachers while **** that wanted to eat me was tracking me. It was something else. More close calls in that 6 months than all the time in the military and government work combined. Unbelievable experience but, once again, not sustainable for long term living.

Also, I'm a part of an organization that deals with child trafficking prevention. And, ONCE AGAIN, the issue is that there's no way to make a solid living (so far) by tracking these cock suckers down and killing them.

Sounds like we're in the same boat in a lot of ways bro. Like I said, I'm going to give a silent meditation retreat a try (5 or so days) and see if that works. Worst case scenario is I feel like an idiot for wasting some time and money. Not sure what else to do.

mirin hard on that anti poaching experience, i came across one organization on Instagram that does anti poaching (vetpaw) but it looks like they only recruit ex-mil/special forces guys, i'd love to go help with that stuff even if it was only intermittently throughout the year. and as far as catching the scumbags who harm children, basically you have to be a cop and *maybe* eventually make it into that department and even then your hands are pretty well tied in terms of what you can do, it would probably drive me to full on Killdozer mode if i watched the paedos get off with mediocre sentences. they need Law Abiding Citizen treatment.

Meditation is probably the easiest thing that could bring clarity to your life.

i'll give it a shot. def cant hurt

[ashin1]

Not one hobby was listed in the OP.

You can start with that, also what are your long term goals? How do you future look in 10+ years.

Having a Vision of how your life will be in 10+ years and activity pursuing it will help give you a better sense of purpose and is a good way to gauge how you are spending your time.

i think your emotions are similar to people who are ambitious by nature but peckish in what they want out of life.