Official Misc INTJ Thread

[Silencespeaks]

Fixed.

Lol I'm staying out of that drama. Also I try to stay out of female miscer callout threads and chat threads.

[Botika]

Welcome!

Ty

[StuartT44]

INTJ checking in. tfw you only enjoy talking to a very small number of people and everyone else thinks your a **** or a nazi.

[eod8989]

INTJ checking in. tfw you only enjoy talking to a very small number of people and everyone else thinks your a **** or a nazi.

That feel when you only like talking to one or two people at once. If there is a group around or more people come into the group you de-ass the area. Feelsbadman

[Fang2]

The problem isn't talking to people, the problem is that sometimes you're better off not talking to people if you don't have anything to talk about.

Oh I know.

[Silencespeaks]

That feel when you only like talking to one or two people at once. If there is a group around or more people come into the group you de-ass the area. Feelsbadman

Yes I feel miserable in groups. I just want to leave then. Forced group socialization is the worst like school, work, etc.

[eod8989]

Yes I feel miserable in groups. I just want to leave then. Forced group socialization is the worst like school, work, etc.

Yeah i never talk in groups because of the fakeness of the conversations and i hate how people try to compete with others when there are more people around. Not only that but it's hard for me to listen to people when i don't find the topic interesting. My brain completely shuts off.

[Silencespeaks]

Yeah i never talk in groups because of the fakeness of the conversations and i hate how people try to compete with others when there are more people around. Not only that but it's hard for me to listen to people when i don't find the topic interesting. My brain completely shuts off.

Yes I find groups very difficult. I don't like group dynamics like how people take on roles of leaders/followers and like you said competition for social status etc. It's hard to explain to my two close friends because they are very social and like to be in groups. So it's difficult to tell them I like being with them one on one but I don't like being with their groups.

[IH8RICE]

This. When I was younger it was easier because everyone was younger and looking to meet ppl. These days everyone is closed off and awkward. I've been disappointed in everyone that I've talked to the last 3 years. Just no connection whatsoever

This as well. Most people just suck.

[IH8RICE]

Yes I find groups very difficult. I don't like group dynamics like how people take on roles of leaders/followers and like you said competition for social status etc. It's hard to explain to my two close friends because they are very social and like to be in groups. So it's difficult to tell them I like being with them one on one but I don't like being with their groups.

I was thinking about a quote that really described me a couple of weeks back and it was YOUR post;go figure

Yes me too. I've found most investments in people to be a waste of my resources (time, energy, money). Now I only maintain a very small group of relationships that I cherish and invest in. Some close family members and two longtime friends, who really genuinely love me and have my back in bad times.

As to anyone else I'll put in only the bare minimum of effort needed just to be polite and that's it. And I intentionally keep my distance from acquaintances who try to be closer and be friends with me. Funnily enough usually people try to be friends with me because when I'm polite in the interaction I fake interest and am a good listener etc. so they love talking to me.

[eod8989]

Yes I find groups very difficult. I don't like group dynamics like how people take on roles of leaders/followers and like you said competition for social status etc. It's hard to explain to my two close friends because they are very social and like to be in groups. So it's difficult to tell them I like being with them one on one but I don't like being with their groups.

Yeah, it's weird how i start to change when i have to be around people's friends. I get all quiet and the conversations become awkward. Mostly because i just don't care for their friends, or can't relate to them at all.

This is a big reason why i'm afraid to get close to anyone. I know i will have to deal with their friends.

[Atem69]

Used to be an INTJ, then I just stopped caring and talked to people. You don't know how easy it is if you actually just start a convo.

yeah...... you were never actually introverted to begin with. There was something else going on that made you more socially withdrawn. Talking is easy for anyone with any social skills the difference between introverts and extroverts are deeper and more complicated then that

[eod8989]

yeah...... you were never actually introverted to begin with. There was something else going on that made you more socially withdrawn. Talking is easy for anyone with any social skills the difference between introverts and extroverts are deeper and more complicated then that

I honestly just don't think introverts like being around groups of people. Seems like most introverts can talk one on one with just about anyone, but as soon as they get around other people they get quiet. This is how all the introverted people i knew were like.

[Silencespeaks]

I honestly just don't think introverts like being around groups of people. Seems like most introverts can talk one on one with just about anyone, but as soon as they get around other people they get quiet. This is how all the introverted people i knew were like.

Yes good point. When I'm one on one with someone I actually like being around then I can be really chatty. When I'm in groups I just shut down unless I force myself to make small talk to be polite.

[eod8989]

Yes good point. When I'm one on one with someone I actually like being around then I can be really chatty. When I'm in groups I just shut down unless I force myself to make small talk to be polite.

This is why i've always been a loner. I meet one person and i get bored, or they leave, or i don't want to hang out with their friends so i isolate. I've never had a social circle last where i could constantly meet new people and do things.

[Fang2]

I honestly just don't think introverts like being around groups of people. Seems like most introverts can talk one on one with just about anyone, but as soon as they get around other people they get quiet. This is how all the introverted people i knew were like.

Also how some I Know IRL are. Most seem to be very active on forums as well .

[Silencespeaks]

Also how some I Know IRL are. Most seem to be very active on forums as well .

Yes I think forums are a more comfortable alternative to socializing for introverts.

[eod8989]

Yes I think forums are a more comfortable alternative to socializing for introverts.

I like them because you can talk about what you want to. Instead of dreading conversation with people you have nothing in common with. Misc is always so dead these days though, and Reddit's sub forums get boring after a little while

[Silencespeaks]

I like them because you can talk about what you want to. Instead of dreading conversation with people you have nothing in common with. Misc is always so dead these days though, and Reddit's sub forums get boring after a little while

Yes I like that you can just go from thread to thread in and out of conversations. Not being stuck with people you don't want to talk to or getting stuck in conversations that are not interesting.

Yeah I think misc is slow nowadays but it's the only forum I use. I used to read some forums related to work and work life balance etc but that was years ago.

[eod8989]

Yes I like that you can just go from thread to thread in and out of conversations. Not being stuck with people you don't want to talk to or getting stuck in conversations that are not interesting.

Yeah I think misc is slow nowadays but it's the only forum I use. I used to read some forums related to work and work life balance etc but that was years ago.

Yeah i use misc like 95% of the time but i have sub reddits i check. But they aren't as fun as the misc. And the misc front page is the goat.

[Botika]

Yes I like that you can just go from thread to thread in and out of conversations. Not being stuck with people you don't want to talk to or getting stuck in conversations that are not interesting.

Yeah I think misc is slow nowadays but it's the only forum I use. I used to read some forums related to work and work life balance etc but that was years ago.

I've definitely spent more time on forums than with my IRL friends over the years!

[eod8989]

I don't know about you brahs but i am too old to give a damn about meeting new people. I don't want to hang out with groups of people and all that. I just want one or two people that i can do my hobbies with. Hard to find that though as a foreveralone introvert.

[zknarc]

I don't know about you brahs but i am too old to give a damn about meeting new people. I don't want to hang out with groups of people and all that. I just want one or two people that i can do my hobbies with. Hard to find that though as a foreveralone introvert.

This and people to discuss less basic stuff with all the time. I like discussing ideas and the srs questions in life but this seems incompatible with how 99% people like to spend their time.

[eod8989]

This and people to discuss less basic stuff with all the time. I like discussing ideas and the srs questions in life but this seems incompatible with how 99% people like to spend their time.

LOL same here. I have a different view on life than most people. Seems like everyone else just likes giving each other **** and making jokes. I like talking about **** like Joe Rogan does. Not all the time, but i don't think normal people think like that. I never see people engage in deeper conversations. And if i do start talking about that stuff they think i'm weird or something. Feels bad.

I've only met one person that liked talking about this stuff and he was a 40 year old IT worker

[_zman]

Well i don't give a **** lol. Just saying these kind of conversations are all i can get these days. It's frustrating

Think of your interactions at work as a means to an end. Most things in life are. You should have a picture of what you want to be doing, where you want to be in life. Mingling in the work place can be a positive experience for everyone. No one likes a shut in. People don't like those who don't fit their community, it can become a toxic work environment with tension. If you can't make simple small talk, then how do you expect to have any kind of success at your job? Do you not see yourself as becoming successful? Do you have a better idea on how to do that then if you can't interact with people. If you enjoy interacting, the more the likely you'll make a good impression and it's a better chance for a promotion (often times an easier job with less work to do).

[Silencespeaks]

Bump for my 5000th post.

[eod8989]

It's such a chore to have conversations and make friendships these days. It's easier to just get on your phone or listen to Spotify, or misc

[eod8989]

Mind is blown how boring socializing is. It only works if you really connect with a person as an introvert. For some reason i want to socialize but i don't even try. I could go out to eat or something but i don't even like doing that because i will have to small talk and all that

[Silencespeaks]

Mind is blown how boring socializing is. It only works if you really connect with a person as an introvert. For some reason i want to socialize but i don't even try. I could go out to eat or something but i don't even like doing that because i will have to small talk and all that

I was thinking about this today in financial terms. Since social interaction is draining for introverts it is a cost.

When you are doing it for a good reason like for example brief interaction or small talk with people proving services for you in stores/restaurants/around the house etc it's like a transaction fee. You are buying a service and paying an additional fee in energy for the small social interaction but you are getting the benefit of a service.

When you interact with people at work it's likewise a fee or tax on your employment that goes with the job and you're getting the benefit of a salary and career etc in return.

When you interact with the few people you actually like being around you get the immediate benefit of enjoyment and you are also investing in relationships that are important to you.

But when you interact socially on other occasions without direct benefit you'd have to strain to find a more indirect benefit to outweigh the energy cost.

For example that you are practicing your social skills, or that it's good mentally to not isolate yourself, or that the interaction might lead to something else like meeting someone else for a friendship or relationship etc. It's only a possible indirect benefit.

[eod8989]

I was thinking about this today in financial terms. Since social interaction is draining for introverts it is a cost.

When you are doing it for a good reason like for example brief interaction or small talk with people proving services for you in stores/restaurants/around the house etc it's like a transaction fee. You are buying a service and paying an additional fee in energy for the small social interaction but you are getting the benefit of a service.

When you interact with people at work it's likewise a fee or tax on your employment that goes with the job and you're getting the benefit of a salary and career etc in return.

When you interact with the few people you actually like being around you get the immediate benefit of enjoyment and you are also investing in relationships that are important to you.

But when you interact socially on other occasions without direct benefit you'd have to strain to find a more indirect benefit to outweigh the energy cost.

For example that you are practicing your social skills, or that it's good mentally to not isolate yourself, or that the interaction might lead to something else like meeting someone else for a friendship or relationship etc. It's only a possible indirect benefit.

Yeah i don't mind socializing if i have to, like working retail for example. If i worked there i wouldn't mind talking to people to help them. Or if someone asks me a question i will happily answer them because i have a reason to talk and i can help them. But just going places to talk about subjects with people i don't really care about......that is very taxing. It isn't worth the reward no matter what if i have to put myself in those draining situations. That's why i don't like to go out to eat and stuff. I just don't care to talk to the waitress and all that lol. There has to be a reason for me to talk or i just don't. I wish i could change this but it just takes too much energy.

It's very hard to sustain any kind of social life at all when you are like this