you know you have been on a precontest diet when...

**fologobis** · 03-07-2007, 11:57 AM

lol you have dreams that you have cheated and screwed up your diet and wake up in a cold sweat and relieze its a dream lol

you look at the calender more then anything else

refeed days are the best day ever, even better then your birthday lol

anyone can feel free to add to the list

**Power-Quest** · 03-07-2007, 12:03 PM

Pre pay for your gasoline and drive off without pumping it, low carb brain function. I did this last year.

Good thread, reps.

**fologobis** · 03-07-2007, 12:13 PM

Originally Posted by Power-Quest

Pre pay for your gasoline and drive off without pumping it, low carb brain function. I did this last year.

Good thread, reps.

ahah that cant happen to me just because i live in jersey where we dont have self service.

after your last meal of the day you cant wait to go to bed so you can wake up and eat again

**competition** · 03-07-2007, 01:20 PM

I know exactly what you mean guys, I have a competition in 2,5 weeks and I am dreaming about food and having nightmares about screwing up the diet and the posing!
For 4 weeks now I have the ost comp meal planned in my head and believe it so does everybody around me cause thats all I talk about!

I cant wait to sleep so that i am not aware of the hunger at night. At 5 a.m. a wake up and smile cause it's almost (lol 2,5 hrs away) time to eat!

Soon I will be smiling for real at the competition and most definitly after!

**semper27** · 03-07-2007, 02:17 PM

You know you're on a contest prep and you realize that when you lay on your side.....your butt cheeks do not touch anymore !!! Your glutes are so striated that it hurts to sit on hard surfaces for any amount of time !!!

**thaibodybuilder** · 03-07-2007, 03:00 PM

Originally Posted by semper27

You know you're on a contest prep and you realize that when you lay on your side.....your butt cheeks do not touch anymore !!! Your glutes are so striated that it hurts to sit on hard surfaces for any amount of time !!!

whoa, nasty

**LiFtHaTiRoN** · 03-07-2007, 03:04 PM

....when all you crave is half a slice of bread, but youve already had your carbs for the day.

when people complain about the bad smell of your broccoli

when friends ask you if you want to go out and eat and you tell them your on a diet, but your at 5% bodyfat.

when you cant come up with good things to post on bodybuilding.com because your brain is working at half speed.

My contest is this weekend and im practicing my posing for ridiculous amounts of tiem every day so that I dont mess it up.

**fologobis** · 03-07-2007, 03:37 PM

Originally Posted by semper27

You know you're on a contest prep and you realize that when you lay on your side.....your butt cheeks do not touch anymore !!! Your glutes are so striated that it hurts to sit on hard surfaces for any amount of time !!!

ahah thats so awesome i wish i had that problem. i cant wait to see your final pics

**yzrider400f** · 03-07-2007, 03:43 PM

you know you're pre-contest when you start to have the nightmares where you show up at your competition and you have forgotten to tan and shave

**chuckles_345** · 03-07-2007, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by fologobis

lol you have dreams that you have cheated and screwed up your diet and wake up in a cold sweat and relieze its a dream lol

you look at the calender more then anything else

refeed days are the best day ever, even better then your birthday lol

anyone can feel free to add to the list

Originally Posted by semper27

You know you're on a contest prep and you realize that when you lay on your side.....your butt cheeks do not touch anymore !!! Your glutes are so striated that it hurts to sit on hard surfaces for any amount of time !!!

Originally Posted by yzrider400f

you know you're pre-contest when you start to have the nightmares where you show up at your competition and you have forgotten to tan and shave

Been there, done that on all of those. This past contest prep, I went to wal mart to buy food and I was too carb depleted to make the credit card swipe work. I just couldn't seem to figure out how to get in to swipe the right way even though of course it said how to do it right in front of me. Good stuff in this post.

Chuckles

**TJ_Strong** · 03-07-2007, 04:27 PM

When you put both socks on the same foot and look around for 15 mins trying to find the other one.

When your carb refeed day is coming up you goto bed early so it will come faster.

**fologobis** · 03-07-2007, 05:16 PM

ahahha nice one guys keep them coming

**sixzebra** · 03-07-2007, 05:37 PM

lol, funny thread.
When you become a tv zombie watching the food channel

**Amoney1986** · 03-07-2007, 07:59 PM

your taking a calculus midterm and slur wtf is this sh@@ when you get to question #1.

**The_Real_XN** · 03-08-2007, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by semper27

You know you're on a contest prep and you realize that when you lay on your side.....your butt cheeks do not touch anymore !!! Your glutes are so striated that it hurts to sit on hard surfaces for any amount of time !!!

The difference between a joke and a joker is simple:

jokes are all the things that are funny to say

while jokers are the poor slobs who first said them.

**The_Real_XN** · 03-08-2007, 08:23 AM

You know you have been on a precontest diet when...

you start thinking your boring stories of self-induced misery are actually funny, charming and interesting.

**Beefcake Girl** · 03-08-2007, 08:55 AM

LOL!!! Oh my gosh I totally have nightmares that I have cheated or that I show up to a show without any tan on!!!

And I have gone to bed early just so I could wake up the next morning and eat sooner....

Other signs:

1. Food Network becomes your porn. And you also read menus just for fun to see what you WOULD eat if you could.

2. After reading the menu you tell the others with you who are not dieting what to order. I force feed other people

3. Gum becomes your treat. It is like crack to a dieter.

4. You refuse to share. When people ask you for just a slice of your grapefruit you say "Sorry, this is all I get for the next few hours and I HAVE to eat it!"

5. You start to talk in diet speak...when around fellow dieters and they ask the time, you say "It's orange roughy and asparagus." And they know what you are talking about. This happens to me a lot---I train with lots of girls whose diets are similar to mine

This also applies to asking what day of the week it is (low carbs can make you forget!) When asked, I sometimes answer, "It's leg day" without thinking

**semper27** · 03-08-2007, 10:14 AM

Originally Posted by The_Real_XN

The difference between a joke and a joker is simple:

jokes are all the things that are funny to say

while jokers are the poor slobs who first said them.

Thank you for your kind words sir.

**figure07** · 03-08-2007, 11:23 AM

You know you're on your precontest diet when you show up at a house party with coffee...

Originally Posted by fologobis

lol you have dreams that you have cheated and screwed up your diet and wake up in a cold sweat and relieze its a dream lol

you look at the calender more then anything else

refeed days are the best day ever, even better then your birthday lol

anyone can feel free to add to the list

**Power-Quest** · 03-08-2007, 12:11 PM

You know you're on your precontest diet when you put Splenda on everything.

**neilio85** · 03-08-2007, 01:03 PM

I could think of countless things to say in this thread but I will add one that happened last night:

You know your on a contest diet when....You decide to go to Boston Pizza with your friends just to pass some time that seems to be going ever so slowly and bring along a pre-cooked meal of beef and brocolli in a tupperware container and then go on to convince the waitress to allow you to eat it in the restaurant. Once your friends pizza comes out you carefully smell each one and proceed to eat your meal while trying to not make it noticeable to any of the other servers or manager of the restaurant.

**RBEliminator** · 03-08-2007, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by neilio85

I could think of countless things to say in this thread but I will add one that happened last night:

You know your on a contest diet when....You decide to go to Boston Pizza with your friends just to pass some time that seems to be going ever so slowly and bring along a pre-cooked meal of beef and brocolli in a tupperware container and then go on to convince the waitress to allow you to eat it in the restaurant. Once your friends pizza comes out you carefully smell each one and proceed to eat your meal while trying to not make it noticeable to any of the other servers or manager of the restaurant.

Ah, I just eat it quick in the car beforehand, takes a lot of the drama out of the picture. I mean yeah its all hooplah, but not necessary. tupperware and ziploc bags do the trick. You can eat a chicken breast out of a ziploc while your driving. Brocolli and cereal as well.

You can tell your on precontest diet when your looking real good, vascular and lean in the gym but using half as much weight as normal. err

**SC1** · 03-09-2007, 09:03 AM

Great thread! I thought I was the only one who looks forward to bedtime because it gets me that much closer to OATS TIME! I also catagorize time by the associated meal. Lol.

...you can tell exactly how many ounces that chicken breast is just by looking at it.

You could host your own tupperwear party just with your personal stock.

You can't blame that smell on the dog any more, because even he refuses to be in the same room with you anymore.

You go to the bathroom to pee so much your co-workers think you have a kidney problem or are bulimic.

You accessorize with a coleman cooler.

You've ever eating cold food in the car with your fingers in a fenzy and looked around to make nobody is watching your caveman ways.

A roadtrip requires more planning that a military coup.

You take more pills than your 80 year old grandmother.

**fologobis** · 03-09-2007, 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by SC1

Great thread! I thought I was the only one who looks forward to bedtime because it gets me that much closer to OATS TIME! I also catagorize time by the associated meal. Lol.

...you can tell exactly how many ounces that chicken breast is just by looking at it.

You could host your own tupperwear party just with your personal stock.

You can't blame that smell on the dog any more, because even he refuses to be in the same room with you anymore.

You go to that bathroom to pee so much your co-workers think you have a kidney problem or are bulimic.

You accessorize with a coleman cooler.

You've ever eating cold food in the car with your fingers in a fenzy and looked around to make nobody is watching your caveman ways.

A roadtrip requires more planning that a military coup.

You take more pills than your 80 year old grandmother.

hahah those are all very funny

when your parents know your birthday is coming up and dont even ask if you want to go out to eat or what kind of cake you would like

**dvsness** · 03-09-2007, 09:53 AM

Great thread!

You know you're contest dieting when...

...you have a neat row of Ziplock Twist n Lock containers with premeasured food in your fridge and haven't eaten on the nice plates in a month...

...it's a no carb day and post-workout broccoli actually fills the craving...

...you dream about peanut butter...

...you can somehow believe if you move faster on the treadmill the cardio will end sooner...

...you think it's perfectly normal to take half naked pictures weekly to measure your progress.

**fologobis** · 03-09-2007, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by dvsness

Great thread!

You know you're contest dieting when...

...you have a neat row of Ziplock Twist n Lock containers with premeasured food in your fridge and haven't eaten on the nice plates in a month...

...it's a no carb day and post-workout broccoli actually fills the craving...

...you dream about peanut butter...

...you can somehow believe if you move faster on the treadmill the cardio will end sooner...

...you think it's perfectly normal to take half naked pictures weekly to measure your progress.

haha im with you about the pb, the stuff is amazing

im with you on the pics, my mom thinks im crazy

**Lando33** · 03-09-2007, 10:53 AM

there are some really great ones here! I'll try to add a couple more.

Everyone at the bar thinks you are a recovering alcoholic or the designated driver when you order up a Diet Coke and Lemon.

After you are done with your food shopping, before you hit the checkout, you spend another hour just browsing the aisles.

You have already checked out 6 or 7 possible locations for your post-contest meal!

After a while, cold broccoli and chicken ain't so bad.

You actually consider the prices of owning your own chicken coup as opposed to making weekly egg runs to Costco.

**Razmoneyrecords** · 03-09-2007, 11:31 AM

How about when you need medical attention, and the doctor says "Do you drink alcohol," and you respond with "No sir, haven't had a drop in 126 days."
Ha, the look in his eyes is priceless.
Dear god, a 23 year old alcoholic, what a sad world.... I don't even correct him, I just let his mind wander.

**FittGrrl27** · 03-09-2007, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by semper27

You know you're on a contest prep and you realize that when you lay on your side.....your butt cheeks do not touch anymore !!! Your glutes are so striated that it hurts to sit on hard surfaces for any amount of time !!!

WOW thats sik.... never had that feeling but I bet its amazing (to know youre THAT DICED!!!)

**quest-x** · 03-09-2007, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by LiFtHaTiRoN

when friends ask you if you want to go out and eat and you tell them your on a diet, but your at 5% bodyfat.

rofl!!!!

also, wow i seriously never knew so many other people have NIGHTMARES about screwing up the diet!!! i thought it was only me! and it only occurs whenever i diet!

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