The No Contact Thread V.4: Fresh Year, Same Problems..

[BZA85]

There you go, you've just answered your own question. People never change, that's basically what it means. People can consciously improve themselves and that takes a magnitude of bravery and effort but honestly, most people don't or they attempt to when something goes wrong in their lives and then fall back to default when it's all rosy again. A few people make the bold step to continuously make sure they get better and improve themselves over a lifetime period, please take note of two words I've used, CONTINUOUSLY and LIFETIME. This is just my perception.

Argh, I suspected as much. How disappointing.

I like Corey Wayne's work, I really do, but this is where he and I start having a falling out of sorts because despite a ton of his advice and ideas and ethos being good stuff, I just can't square away some of the inconsistencies, especially when, for me, they undermine the whole structure of everything else he talks about.

By that I mean, in being a coach and writing about what he writes about, there is within that an implicit assertion that people are able to change.

The whole point of all of it is to help enable positive change in people who need it. So for him to turn around and say "people don't change" - regularly, no less - rather nullifies everything else.

It's made more glaringly problematic when you see the double standard emerging. On the one hand he advises people that they have to change and surpass their limiting self-beliefs in order to attract better quality partners and a better life generally, again, implying change is possible, and then on the other he'll be very rigid about the fact that people who might have abused his readers (liars, cheaters, thieves, addicts, violent partners etc.) will categorically never change. UNLESS of course he's writing an article for someone reading his site who has cheated or whatever, and feels bad about it and wants to change. Then suddenly it's all fine and people can change if they put enough effort in.

So which is it? People can either change or they can't, it's no good pointing the finger at one group and saying they can't while saying the readership can, there's no consistency there. Either everyone is capable of change or no-one is. You can't just cherry pick the "bad" people and say they're not able to surpass their negative behaviours, but everyone else reading his stuff is "woke" and somehow magically can do it.

The really concerning thing there is that I've read a lot of other stuff from professional psychologists (and talked to a few professional therapists/psychiatrists) and many would indeed assert that people can't fundamentally change who they are. If you're depressive and neurotic, or insecure, that's kind of who you are and there's not a lot you can do about that, you can't really think or act your way out of it.

So that means for all his talk about how you need to change your circumstances and be alpha to get what you want out of life, it isn't actually a realistic objective if it doesn't fit with your personality. That means that those "bad" people who've abused the readership cannot and will not change, as he suggests, but it also means his advice to the "good" people who want to be less beta is useless, because they can't change either.

I'd rather not believe this. I'd prefer the idea that people can change and get past their limiting beliefs and beta-ness (although the more I try to change it the more I see which suggests it isn't changeable), but logically, if we say that people can do that, we have to be able to say that people who are complete a-holes who have abused others in their life can also change and become better people.

[PelvicThrustBP]

Firstly, stronk Corey Wayne chit. Secondly, as you seem to have really taken on his teachings and I'll never be able to ask the man personally, what do you consider the difference between people being unable to change but being able to become a better version of themselves? To me they seem like the same thing tbh. You can't become a better version of yourself without changing.

There you go, you've just answered your own question. People never change, that's basically what it means. People can consciously improve themselves and that takes a magnitude of bravery and effort but honestly, most people don't or they attempt to when something goes wrong in their lives and then fall back to default when it's all rosy again. A few people make the bold step to continuously make sure they get better and improve themselves over a lifetime period, please take note of two words I've used, CONTINUOUSLY and LIFETIME. This is just my perception.

Argh, I suspected as much. How disappointing.

I like Corey Wayne's work, I really do, but this is where he and I start having a falling out of sorts because despite a ton of his advice and ideas and ethos being good stuff, I just can't square away some of the inconsistencies, especially when, for me, they undermine the whole structure of everything else he talks about.

By that I mean, in being a coach and writing about what he writes about, there is within that an implicit assertion that people are able to change.

The whole point of all of it is to help enable positive change in people who need it. So for him to turn around and say "people don't change" - regularly, no less - rather nullifies everything else.

It's made more glaringly problematic when you see the double standard emerging. On the one hand he advises people that they have to change and surpass their limiting self-beliefs in order to attract better quality partners and a better life generally, again, implying change is possible, and then on the other he'll be very rigid about the fact that people who might have abused his readers (liars, cheaters, thieves, addicts, violent partners etc.) will categorically never change. UNLESS of course he's writing an article for someone reading his site who has cheated or whatever, and feels bad about it and wants to change. Then suddenly it's all fine and people can change if they put enough effort in.

So which is it? People can either change or they can't, it's no good pointing the finger at one group and saying they can't while saying the readership can, there's no consistency there. Either everyone is capable of change or no-one is. You can't just cherry pick the "bad" people and say they're not able to surpass their negative behaviours, but everyone else reading his stuff is "woke" and somehow magically can do it.

The really concerning thing there is that I've read a lot of other stuff from professional psychologists (and talked to a few professional therapists/psychiatrists) and many would indeed assert that people can't fundamentally change who they are. If you're depressive and neurotic, or insecure, that's kind of who you are and there's not a lot you can do about that, you can't really think or act your way out of it.

So that means for all his talk about how you need to change your circumstances and be alpha to get what you want out of life, it isn't actually a realistic objective if it doesn't fit with your personality. That means that those "bad" people who've abused the readership cannot and will not change, as he suggests, but it also means his advice to the "good" people who want to be less beta is useless, because they can't change either.

I'd rather not believe this. I'd prefer the idea that people can change and get past their limiting beliefs and beta-ness (although the more I try to change it the more I see which suggests it isn't changeable), but logically, if we say that people can do that, we have to be able to say that people who are complete a-holes who have abused others in their life can also change and become better people.

first time in thread as gf just left on friday and wanted to check out last page before i go to work...great reads right here.

will definitely be going through this thread when i get home later.

stay strong bro's

[Rmiscer]

Oh man. Sorry bro, just don’t do it again. I’m assuming no response?

No, no response. I wasn't surprised by it, would do the same probably but somehow it stings. You just want to have some kind of validation that she is struggling as well. O well, day 2 of NC. I'm feeling fine ATM and try to stay focused on my own goals. I will be alright.

[getlarge]

No, no response. I wasn't surprised by it, would do the same probably but somehow it stings. You just want to have some kind of validation that she is struggling as well. O well, day 2 of NC. I'm feeling fine ATM and try to stay focused on my own goals. I will be alright.

Yeah she knew you were prob ****ed up and was like you gotta be kidding me

Stay strong bro. We will make it i promise you

[UKManmoreBrah]

No, no response. I wasn't surprised by it, would do the same probably but somehow it stings. You just want to have some kind of validation that she is struggling as well. O well, day 2 of NC. I'm feeling fine ATM and try to stay focused on my own goals. I will be alright.

I'm also always looking for that validation - that she's suffering like I am. Unfortunately not the case, she's been with a new guy for two months and already sees herself marrying him. Lol.

[Rmiscer]

I'm also always looking for that validation - that she's suffering like I am. Unfortunately not the case, she's been with a new guy for two months and already sees herself marrying him. Lol.

lol, that some ****ed up ****. My ex kissed somebody within 2 weeks after the break-up. It's somewhat surrealistic to be honest. In the relationship she was always the one who said she wanted to marry, have kids, being upset when i looked at other women etc. yet she was the one who cheated, broke it off and like i said: kissed somebody within 2 weeks after we broke up while at that same time i ignored the women who wanted to hook up the moment i was single because i didn't felt ready for it and i have yet to make my single move 5 months after. Writing this makes me realize i don't love her like i used to and i have no intention in getting back together. But my brain just can't cope with 'just not caring anymore' likes she seems to do.

[Rmiscer]

Yeah she knew you were prob ****ed up and was like you gotta be kidding me

Stay strong bro. We will make it i promise you

Thanks bro. I appreciate it. We will indeed make it!

[jiroworld]

Argh, I suspected as much. How disappointing.

I like Corey Wayne's work, I really do, but this is where he and I start having a falling out of sorts because despite a ton of his advice and ideas and ethos being good stuff, I just can't square away some of the inconsistencies, especially when, for me, they undermine the whole structure of everything else he talks about.

By that I mean, in being a coach and writing about what he writes about, there is within that an implicit assertion that people are able to change.

The whole point of all of it is to help enable positive change in people who need it. So for him to turn around and say "people don't change" - regularly, no less - rather nullifies everything else.

It's made more glaringly problematic when you see the double standard emerging. On the one hand he advises people that they have to change and surpass their limiting self-beliefs in order to attract better quality partners and a better life generally, again, implying change is possible, and then on the other he'll be very rigid about the fact that people who might have abused his readers (liars, cheaters, thieves, addicts, violent partners etc.) will categorically never change. UNLESS of course he's writing an article for someone reading his site who has cheated or whatever, and feels bad about it and wants to change. Then suddenly it's all fine and people can change if they put enough effort in.

So which is it? People can either change or they can't, it's no good pointing the finger at one group and saying they can't while saying the readership can, there's no consistency there. Either everyone is capable of change or no-one is. You can't just cherry pick the "bad" people and say they're not able to surpass their negative behaviours, but everyone else reading his stuff is "woke" and somehow magically can do it.

The really concerning thing there is that I've read a lot of other stuff from professional psychologists (and talked to a few professional therapists/psychiatrists) and many would indeed assert that people can't fundamentally change who they are. If you're depressive and neurotic, or insecure, that's kind of who you are and there's not a lot you can do about that, you can't really think or act your way out of it.

So that means for all his talk about how you need to change your circumstances and be alpha to get what you want out of life, it isn't actually a realistic objective if it doesn't fit with your personality. That means that those "bad" people who've abused the readership cannot and will not change, as he suggests, but it also means his advice to the "good" people who want to be less beta is useless, because they can't change either.

I'd rather not believe this. I'd prefer the idea that people can change and get past their limiting beliefs and beta-ness (although the more I try to change it the more I see which suggests it isn't changeable), but logically, if we say that people can do that, we have to be able to say that people who are complete a-holes who have abused others in their life can also change and become better people.

I agree with you, as I also struggled to understand the contradiction hence why I got even more interested in this conversation. I have used myself as a case study in order to understand better the concept of change and that is why I came to a conclusion that change is most definitely possible but it requires a continuous effort especially if through past experiences you are aware of the consequences of remaining the same. If like myself people are absolutely sure that they never want to go through all of that pain they've had to endure in the past, they will consciously and continuously strive for that change. Most of our adult characteristics believe it or not are learned and are a direct result of our immediate environment.

A typical example is how different societies treat women, if you grew up in a country where there's less respect for women ( Which I must point out is wrong ), you won't fear women as that concept would be alien to you but if you live in a country where there's support of equal rights you would most definitely develop a different kind of perception for women ( I hope I'm making sense so far ). If you have to move over from one of these countries to the other, over time your environment would influence your behavior and you most definitely would change to a certain extent.

Relating this to Corey Wayne's theory of change, I think this might be what he means by "People don't change, they only become a better version of themselves". Deep down their core remains the same but they over time become better because they are more conscious of whom they were and who they have chosen to become. It's easy for them to return to being their previous self but have made a decision to become someone different for their own benefit.

There's a different book I'm reading now [ The Manual, What Women Want And How To Give It To Them By W. Anton ], an absolutely great read as it actually goes in-depth and explains the factors that affect how we see women, how we approach women and how over time societal norms and so-called social progress has actually affected us as men psychologically. It's helped me better understand other concepts put forward by other writers when it comes to the topic of relationship ( Men & Women ) as it goes beyond the surface of why you shouldn't act a certain way but explains firstly why you are acting that way and how truly if you understand the reason why you are, you can most definitely change as it just makes sense.

In the end though, no one has the ultimate answer when it comes to relationships, but my perception is if you value yourself and love yourself most qualities you require in succeeding with women ( confidence, charm, assertiveness ) will come naturally to you as you would have eliminated the concept of fear from your mind and would be able to listen more to your instincts.

PS: I've attached a word file with the link on amazon to the above mentioned book, hope it's useful.

[jiroworld]

lol, that some ****ed up ****. My ex kissed somebody within 2 weeks after the break-up. It's somewhat surrealistic to be honest. In the relationship she was always the one who said she wanted to marry, have kids, being upset when i looked at other women etc. yet she was the one who cheated, broke it off and like i said: kissed somebody within 2 weeks after we broke up while at that same time i ignored the women who wanted to hook up the moment i was single because i didn't felt ready for it and i have yet to make my single move 5 months after. Writing this makes me realize i don't love her like i used to and i have no intention in getting back together. But my brain just can't cope with 'just not caring anymore' likes she seems to do.

One thing you should realise bro is that women deal with breakups differently, even when they have not gotten over you they will move to the next guy in the hope that it would help them get over you, sadly it hardly ever works, that's why it's advisable that you deal with the hurt, and over time when you feel a lot less pain and are ready to date again you then do. Also NC means you shouldnt even know if she's dating someone esle or not because you should have cut every form of communication with her, so maybe you should review your NC process. It's not easy I know, Im there right now, I feel the pain daily, infact my ex has even broken my NC just so she could ask for a favour which I had to help with ( Hard ) but in the end you return back to your NC and keep the process going, all of the time that has past is definitely not lost. Stay strong, we all are doing the same because we honestly don't have a choice. Your mental health is much more important than any woman in this world.

[najee786]

Original Miscer of no contact thread V2 and V3 checking in. I was listening to a song on Youtube that reminded me of the feels and then I remembered how much this forum helped. No cliffs on this **** so you can read and soak some knowledge hopefully or neg me .

Once upon a time, I was 21/22 (can't remember when i actually broke up with ex now) on this forum crying my heart out to other emotional miscers on this thread about the girl I thought was the "one". Now I am 26 y/o lawyer who is married (no kids yet). Let me tell you, the future is bright. I haven't got all day to write an essay to help you younger brahs out with the feels that we can all empathize with.

Nevertheless -

- Use your TIME wisely. Just like you forgot the gameboy then the gameboy colour then the gameboy advance etc etc you will move onto the next stage of your life like we all do.
-Get in the gym, spend time with family and friends, try some new things and sports (join a club), reach out to your old friends (trust me they probably knew you sacked them off for this broad so they will understand).
- Following on from point 1 & 2, WAKE up early and seize the day so by the time you get home you are just too tired to do something stupid. SLEEP! It is very important as the less hours you get, the more cranky and snappy you will become.
-DON'T sit by yourself (only when you sleep ), masturbate (srs), get drunk or do drugs as you lose your senses and any second you lose your sense you get weak and when you are weak, that is when the feels will strike for you to scroll on ******** or check insta or even send a stupid text to her or even her friends. DON'T DO IT!
- If you are going to the gym, PLEASE make sure you are eating maintenance calories at a minimum. If you start cutting when you start NC you are destined to have mood swings and then the feels will strike so please avoid cutting till after 3-6months.
- Like I said about drugs, limit your ****. Srs. Limit your caffeine intake. It dehydrates your body and in that moment when you have no water, the mood feels strike.

Originally, I broke my NC 3 times as I was in total shock at that contemporaneous time. It wasn't till a year later after my third NC that I made a promise to stop all the above. I had a diary and notepad and challenged myself each day to better myself mentally and physically. Srs, make goals and ****ing kill the **** out of them.

Now if you bothered getting to this bit, it wasn't till my final and 4th NC that lasted for a further year till my ex came back around. She came back so smoothly like how are you? how are things? you been good? etc etc

This was my time. The power was in my hands a year on. My insta and ******** pics of my shreddedness had caught on. What did I do? Yes you already know. I said phukk you, blocked the new number she texted and rang me on and all the other social media sites she tried to contact me on. My ex has tried using other angles like her employment recruitment agency to see if i was interested in a job that's how desperate she has become. Trust me brahs, train, get ripped, talks to GIRLS (NOT THE HO's) and move on with your life because there will be one girl you will find that will make you change everything.

I met a sweet sweet sweet girl who is my wife and is better than any woman in this world as far as I am concerned. TIME is all it takes.

Stay alpha and use this thread to keep strong. Hopefully I'll remember this post in years to come and post again.

[UKManmoreBrah]

Original Miscer of no contact thread V2 and V3 checking in. I was listening to a song on Youtube that reminded me of the feels and then I remembered how much this forum helped. No cliffs on this **** so you can read and soak some knowledge hopefully or neg me .

Once upon a time, I was 21/22 (can't remember when i actually broke up with ex now) on this forum crying my heart out to other emotional miscers on this thread about the girl I thought was the "one". Now I am 26 y/o lawyer who is married (no kids yet). Let me tell you, the future is bright. I haven't got all day to write an essay to help you younger brahs out with the feels that we can all empathize with.

Nevertheless -

- Use your TIME wisely. Just like you forgot the gameboy then the gameboy colour then the gameboy advance etc etc you will move onto the next stage of your life like we all do.
-Get in the gym, spend time with family and friends, try some new things and sports (join a club), reach out to your old friends (trust me they probably knew you sacked them off for this broad so they will understand).
- Following on from point 1 & 2, WAKE up early and seize the day so by the time you get home you are just too tired to do something stupid. SLEEP! It is very important as the less hours you get, the more cranky and snappy you will become.
-DON'T sit by yourself (only when you sleep ), masturbate (srs), get drunk or do drugs as you lose your senses and any second you lose your sense you get weak and when you are weak, that is when the feels will strike for you to scroll on ******** or check insta or even send a stupid text to her or even her friends. DON'T DO IT!
- If you are going to the gym, PLEASE make sure you are eating maintenance calories at a minimum. If you start cutting when you start NC you are destined to have mood swings and then the feels will strike so please avoid cutting till after 3-6months.
- Like I said about drugs, limit your ****. Srs. Limit your caffeine intake. It dehydrates your body and in that moment when you have no water, the mood feels strike.

Originally, I broke my NC 3 times as I was in total shock at that contemporaneous time. It wasn't till a year later after my third NC that I made a promise to stop all the above. I had a diary and notepad and challenged myself each day to better myself mentally and physically. Srs, make goals and ****ing kill the **** out of them.

Now if you bothered getting to this bit, it wasn't till my final and 4th NC that lasted for a further year till my ex came back around. She came back so smoothly like how are you? how are things? you been good? etc etc

This was my time. The power was in my hands a year on. My insta and ******** pics of my shreddedness had caught on. What did I do? Yes you already know. I said phukk you, blocked the new number she texted and rang me on and all the other social media sites she tried to contact me on. My ex has tried using other angles like her employment recruitment agency to see if i was interested in a job that's how desperate she has become. Trust me brahs, train, get ripped, talks to GIRLS (NOT THE HO's) and move on with your life because there will be one girl you will find that will make you change everything.

I met a sweet sweet sweet girl who is my wife and is better than any woman in this world as far as I am concerned. TIME is all it takes.

Stay alpha and use this thread to keep strong. Hopefully I'll remember this post in years to come and post again.

Really good post man, thanks.

[jiroworld]

Original Miscer of no contact thread V2 and V3 checking in. I was listening to a song on Youtube that reminded me of the feels and then I remembered how much this forum helped. No cliffs on this **** so you can read and soak some knowledge hopefully or neg me .

Once upon a time, I was 21/22 (can't remember when i actually broke up with ex now) on this forum crying my heart out to other emotional miscers on this thread about the girl I thought was the "one". Now I am 26 y/o lawyer who is married (no kids yet). Let me tell you, the future is bright. I haven't got all day to write an essay to help you younger brahs out with the feels that we can all empathize with.

Nevertheless -

- Use your TIME wisely. Just like you forgot the gameboy then the gameboy colour then the gameboy advance etc etc you will move onto the next stage of your life like we all do.
-Get in the gym, spend time with family and friends, try some new things and sports (join a club), reach out to your old friends (trust me they probably knew you sacked them off for this broad so they will understand).
- Following on from point 1 & 2, WAKE up early and seize the day so by the time you get home you are just too tired to do something stupid. SLEEP! It is very important as the less hours you get, the more cranky and snappy you will become.
-DON'T sit by yourself (only when you sleep ), masturbate (srs), get drunk or do drugs as you lose your senses and any second you lose your sense you get weak and when you are weak, that is when the feels will strike for you to scroll on ******** or check insta or even send a stupid text to her or even her friends. DON'T DO IT!
- If you are going to the gym, PLEASE make sure you are eating maintenance calories at a minimum. If you start cutting when you start NC you are destined to have mood swings and then the feels will strike so please avoid cutting till after 3-6months.
- Like I said about drugs, limit your ****. Srs. Limit your caffeine intake. It dehydrates your body and in that moment when you have no water, the mood feels strike.

Originally, I broke my NC 3 times as I was in total shock at that contemporaneous time. It wasn't till a year later after my third NC that I made a promise to stop all the above. I had a diary and notepad and challenged myself each day to better myself mentally and physically. Srs, make goals and ****ing kill the **** out of them.

Now if you bothered getting to this bit, it wasn't till my final and 4th NC that lasted for a further year till my ex came back around. She came back so smoothly like how are you? how are things? you been good? etc etc

This was my time. The power was in my hands a year on. My insta and ******** pics of my shreddedness had caught on. What did I do? Yes you already know. I said phukk you, blocked the new number she texted and rang me on and all the other social media sites she tried to contact me on. My ex has tried using other angles like her employment recruitment agency to see if i was interested in a job that's how desperate she has become. Trust me brahs, train, get ripped, talks to GIRLS (NOT THE HO's) and move on with your life because there will be one girl you will find that will make you change everything.

I met a sweet sweet sweet girl who is my wife and is better than any woman in this world as far as I am concerned. TIME is all it takes.

Stay alpha and use this thread to keep strong. Hopefully I'll remember this post in years to come and post again.

Absolutely great post !!!

[amonkeen]

checking in boys, broke up with a girl in August, was pretty amicable. Tried to get her back, then stopped talking to her for about a month. Met up again in October and we went to second base twice. She said we shouldnt be doing that, so we stopped. I know she went out with some guy last month, I've smashed two girls since August. Apparently some random number started messaging her and she thinks it was me. A week ago she said she doesn't believe me, I told her it wasn't me. She hasn't replied to it and I haven't message her since and have no intention to. Don't break NC boys, it will feel like you're going back to square one. I was tempted to drive by her house but I didn't.

I'm really glad I found this thread, thanks for this.

[amonkeen]

No offense but I ****ing hate this advice, sounds so naive to me. One day he'll meet the woman he bonds with on all levels... And then they'll still probably break up and it will end. Relationships aren't for learning, they're for getting attached so we reproduce. The only thing you should learn is how to not get in too deep so you can't leave without a second thought

[amonkeen]

4 days NC - very early days I know but does anyone else find the urge to contact her strongest in the morning, then your negative feelings gradually fade away?

The mornings are the WORST, its like your will hasn't prepared yet so the feelings catch you off guard. I go to bed wishing to myself that I feel fine in the morning. How's your NC been?

[Abjam]

26 days no contact since the breakup. I unfriended on snap/insta. Unfollowed on ********. I have no idea what she’s up to but recently I’ve been thinking about it..

I’m fighting with myself to not text her apologizing for walking out after some of our arguments when I should have stayed and reassured her that I’m here for her. Walking out probably got me where I am today with her abandonment issues.

I almost broke nc, still on the edge lol

[ProxLDM]

I Broke NC Brah's, It was friday night and i was out with the boys drinking. Only had the one beer so could still drive.
Anyway, driving home and i get a message asking to get my ex from a mate's house and bring her home. (We share the same closest friends, Her BF is engaged to mine)

Was out with the brah's and one of them is an engineer works 28 days on and 2 days off, So i never really see him much now. His GF of 3 year's ended it with him that day he got home. He was destroyed, It was pretty much the exact same situation as my split. (She Cheated on him) so we ended up chatting about how much women are C*NTS all night. Got me thinking man. Before this i would of never thought about my ex.

So driving home, get the text and i think F*K it. I will. So went and picked her up and drove somewhere to talk. She ended up crying her eyes out to me, everything that had built up she unleashed it my way. Wiped away her tears ended up kissing her, This then led to getting in the back of the car and having S*X for 3 hours. Was insane. felt right too.

But every since then we've been messaging and sending love hearts and chit, i just feel like it will be one big circle. Fall in love again and I'll get completely destroyed.

The Pu$$Y is magical honestly is. I disappear to Narnia every time i enter it.

[PrimeOptimus]

Am I the only one who held NC for more than 1 year now?

I mean, I have itchy fingers to send my ex a text from time to time, especially when I miss everything good about the relationship. But, she has not tried to contact me for 1 year now. I bumped into her ONCE, and never received any breadcrumbs. I spent 3 years with that bisch, asked her to marry me...but nothing from her!! Seriously....

1 YEAR...NO CONTACT!!!

[JAMIETW123]

Been like two months since I spoke to my ex (she messaged me). Ran into her at a bar last weekend. Didn't care. Ignored her. Can't believe I once thought I'd never get over her. Just lol. Feels good man.

[githurdone]

I Broke NC Brah's, It was friday night and i was out with the boys drinking. Only had the one beer so could still drive.
Anyway, driving home and i get a message asking to get my ex from a mate's house and bring her home. (We share the same closest friends, Her BF is engaged to mine)

Was out with the brah's and one of them is an engineer works 28 days on and 2 days off, So i never really see him much now. His GF of 3 year's ended it with him that day he got home. He was destroyed, It was pretty much the exact same situation as my split. (She Cheated on him) so we ended up chatting about how much women are C*NTS all night. Got me thinking man. Before this i would of never thought about my ex.

So driving home, get the text and i think F*K it. I will. So went and picked her up and drove somewhere to talk. She ended up crying her eyes out to me, everything that had built up she unleashed it my way. Wiped away her tears ended up kissing her, This then led to getting in the back of the car and having S*X for 3 hours. Was insane. felt right too.

But every since then we've been messaging and sending love hearts and chit, i just feel like it will be one big circle. Fall in love again and I'll get completely destroyed.

The Pu$$Y is magical honestly is. I disappear to Narnia every time i enter it.

Brah... you don't love her. You love how she makes you feel (dopamine and high). Love is respect, and the second someone cheats on you, the respect is ban hammered for life. You gotta remind yourself that pain every time she tries to trap you w sugar walls. Srs. They trap you w sex, and then leave/cheat again when they feel they "won" you back, bc you've now shown her it's ok to cheat and get away w it.

[Rmiscer]

Am I the only one who held NC for more than 1 year now?

I mean, I have itchy fingers to send my ex a text from time to time, especially when I miss everything good about the relationship. But, she has not tried to contact me for 1 year now. I bumped into her ONCE, and never received any breadcrumbs. I spent 3 years with that bisch, asked her to marry me...but nothing from her!! Seriously....

1 YEAR...NO CONTACT!!!

Good for you bro. I'm 3 weeks of NC after breaking under influence of mdma. Feels much longer. There are times i'm trying to convince myself that i'm totally 'ok' with the break-up and that i have the ability to start a friendly convo with her without getting attached. However, it would be naive to think so. Luckily i have a lot of positive things coming up the next few weeks so i will be fine and i'm really excited for 2018.

Stay strong and positive. Love you all

[Ken-O]

I'm also always looking for that validation - that she's suffering like I am. Unfortunately not the case, she's been with a new guy for two months and already sees herself marrying him. Lol.

lol, that some ****ed up ****. My ex kissed somebody within 2 weeks after the break-up. It's somewhat surrealistic to be honest. In the relationship she was always the one who said she wanted to marry, have kids, being upset when i looked at other women etc. yet she was the one who cheated, broke it off and like i said: kissed somebody within 2 weeks after we broke up while at that same time i ignored the women who wanted to hook up the moment i was single because i didn't felt ready for it and i have yet to make my single move 5 months after. Writing this makes me realize i don't love her like i used to and i have no intention in getting back together. But my brain just can't cope with 'just not caring anymore' likes she seems to do.

lmao thats nothing.

3 year old GF one day breaks up with me, very next day shes on a date with some guy, and it was valentines day srs. She went on a valentines day date one day after breaking up with me.


She got pretty, wore her sexy outfits, makeup, high heels, spent those 2/3 hours getting ready for a DIFFERENT guy, just when one day before she was telling me "i love you". Srs. Fast forward 1.5 months, she has him plastered all over her social media and he's apparently the perfect man. 2 weeks after that we see each other, catch up and we fuk at my place, when 5 minutes before she called her new boyfriend to tell him she was doing some errands.


Thats how i broke NC and that was a very bad idea btw. Feel disgusting after fukin and trust me ive done some dirty **** with women in the past.




Women are brutal, never understimate the power they have to destroy your life. Choose wisely, and always trust your instincts thats all ill say

[githurdone]

lmao thats nothing.

3 year old GF one day breaks up with me, very next day shes on a date with some guy, and it was valentines day srs. She went on a valentines day date one day after breaking up with me.


She got pretty, wore her sexy outfits, makeup, high heels, spent those 2/3 hours getting ready for a DIFFERENT guy, just when one day before she was telling me "i love you". Srs. Fast forward 1.5 months, she has him plastered all over her social media and he's apparently the perfect man. 2 weeks after that we see each other, catch up and we fuk at my place, when 5 minutes before she called her new boyfriend to tell him she was doing some errands.


Thats how i broke NC and that was a very bad idea btw. Feel disgusting after fukin and trust me ive done some dirty **** with women in the past.




Women are brutal, never understimate the power they have to destroy your life. Choose wisely, and always trust your instincts thats all ill say

Wow, thats a new level of sloot. I’ve experienced something similar, and the silver lining is that they make you realize you were lucky to get away. Def helps the recovery process

[UKManmoreBrah]

checking in...

managed to get out on a couple of Tinder dates. Nothing came of either but was good to finally get back out there and I do feel ready for dating again even if it's nothing serious

temptation to message my ex has decreased also as has stalking her social media.

[amonkeen]

2 weeks of NC, although I've caved and stalked her IG a few times. I definitely don't plan on messaging her, I need my power back. I never went crazy on her so I'm glad for that. Sometimes it feels easier, like you have glimmers of hope, then other times you feel as if you're deluding yourself. Like you're walking through a thick forest and you're not sure if the brush is getting less thick. I've met a couple more girls since then too, guess I'm just trying to fill the void. Which I really don't mind, as long as I stay NC.

**** this relationship **** man, always ends the same. Life was so much simpler when all I did was train, meditate and work

[Abjam]

2 weeks of NC, although I've caved and stalked her IG a few times. I definitely don't plan on messaging her, I need my power back. I never went crazy on her so I'm glad for that. Sometimes it feels easier, like you have glimmers of hope, then other times you feel as if you're deluding yourself. Like you're walking through a thick forest and you're not sure if the brush is getting less thick. I've met a couple more girls since then too, guess I'm just trying to fill the void. Which I really don't mind, as long as I stay NC.

**** this relationship **** man, always ends the same. Life was so much simpler when all I did was train, meditate and work

Unfollow/block on social medial if you have to. Checking on her is the worst thing you can do. All you are doing when you check her social medial is hoping you don’t see her with another guy in a picture. So you feel like **** before you check it. Then you check it looking for something to feel like even more **** about. It’s not worth it brah.

Also train meditate and work. You can have that simple life again. Don’t rush into another relationship

[amonkeen]

Unfollow/block on social medial if you have to. Checking on her is the worst thing you can do. All you are doing when you check her social medial is hoping you don’t see her with another guy in a picture. So you feel like **** before you check it. Then you check it looking for something to feel like even more **** about. It’s not worth it brah.

Also train meditate and work. You can have that simple life again. Don’t rush into another relationship

Thanks for the reply brah, I did unfollow her but I hate giving her the power of blocking her. We didnt even end on bad terms, we were texting a little but until she started getting texts from some random number that she thinks is me. Srs though before her I would always be out meeting women, and I have another date with this woman I met last weekend. I know I'm just trying to fill a void but at the same time what's wrong with that? I won't get into another relationship, but I'm wondering if I should go back to doing what I've always done: being a womanizer. It seems so shallow after all this **** I'm going through but it's fun and can actually help restore confidence

[the700level]

Thanks for the reply brah, I did unfollow her but I hate giving her the power of blocking her. We didnt even end on bad terms, we were texting a little but until she started getting texts from some random number that she thinks is me. Srs though before her I would always be out meeting women, and I have another date with this woman I met last weekend. I know I'm just trying to fill a void but at the same time what's wrong with that? I won't get into another relationship, but I'm wondering if I should go back to doing what I've always done: being a womanizer. It seems so shallow after all this **** I'm going through but it's fun and can actually help restore confidence

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that

I’m 6 weeks post break up, and been going on legit dates. Spending time and money on girls basically just trying to get my ex out of my head. It’s stupid and trying to fill a void, possibly getting girls hopes up if they’re interested in me, all the while I’m really just trying to get my mind right. I’ve been on a couple dates with this one girl and she’s extremely interested in me. I’m going to have to be honest to her soon because it’s not fair to her

I think his response was basically work on yourself, start hanging with friends and hitting the gym. If you meet someone out or something then pursue it, but don’t push a relationship just to fill a void (like I’m doing)

[amonkeen]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that

I’m 6 weeks post break up, and been going on legit dates. Spending time and money on girls basically just trying to get my ex out of my head. It’s stupid and trying to fill a void, possibly getting girls hopes up if they’re interested in me, all the while I’m really just trying to get my mind right. I’ve been on a couple dates with this one girl and she’s extremely interested in me. I’m going to have to be honest to her soon because it’s not fair to her

I think his response was basically work on yourself, start hanging with friends and hitting the gym. If you meet someone out or something then pursue it, but don’t push a relationship just to fill a void (like I’m doing)

It was more of a general question. Not to him specifically, but you're right, I'm in the exact same position. I'm meeting these girls that I get along with well, but I know I could never be with them. I know I'm wrong but **** it I need to get over this. I woke up this morning with my heart pounding and a pain in my stomach because I dreamt of her.

You're right it is stupid, but I don't care lol. Its not even about the sex, I've had sex with two other girls and it changed nothing. I just need to feel somewhat close to someone, I need someone I can relate to. Its crazy though there was this one I went out with weeks ago who was 100% my type. We talked and talked, she just got out of a three year relationship. And it was like my heart was healing as I was there, she made the pain go away. **** I sound like a bitch, never again guys, never again.

[the700level]

It was more of a general question. Not to him specifically, but you're right, I'm in the exact same position. I'm meeting these girls that I get along with well, but I know I could never be with them. I know I'm wrong but **** it I need to get over this. I woke up this morning with my heart pounding and a pain in my stomach because I dreamt of her.

You're right it is stupid, but I don't care lol. Its not even about the sex, I've had sex with two other girls and it changed nothing. I just need to feel somewhat close to someone, I need someone I can relate to. Its crazy though there was this one I went out with weeks ago who was 100% my type. We talked and talked, she just got out of a three year relationship. And it was like my heart was healing as I was there, she made the pain go away. **** I sound like a bitch, never again guys, never again.

You’re not the first to go thru this, and you won’t be the last

Keep your head up