Holy **** dude, seriously must be the same girl. I wouldn't give her marriage either, and a year ago I was honest and told her unless she had her **** under control I couldn't see marriage. She was SO hurt by that. But, she always told me she wasn't sure if she'd ever get better. She warned me, to be fair.
But wow dude. And guess what? Your girl will probably crash down again, and I hope she remembers what she lost out on. You seem like one hell of a guy, and very patient to support her like that. My ex told me **** like "I think you're very patient with me, I love you". I always feared that the same thing would happen to me. Not because I felt inadequate, but because when we see them at their worst like this, we become an anchor to their mental illness. We anchor to the times they treated us like ****, the times they felt like ****, and they can't escape the bad **** that happened. So, the only way out is a new life without us. That was always my fear anyway.
Our exes betrayed us. We were there for them, more than they were ever there for us. Ffs my ex barely got to know who I was, on a deeper level. I'm not even joking. Sure, she knew a lot of personal things I confessed about myself, and she got to know me in our first year or two. But as she progressed worse, she became very self absorbed, and really only got to know me on a superficial level. And here I am, still talking about her.......****.
We got this dude. Thank you for the talk
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04-10-2017, 07:19 PM #751
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04-10-2017, 11:11 PM #752
We deserve a healthy woman in our lives brah, one that is not carrying a **** load of baggage. We really do, since you seem like a good dude as well. I think we also need time brah, time on our own, to heal and to improve the areas we can improve.
You shouldnt get desperate or angry if you wake one day and you cry again, or you feel super bad, or you have dreams about her. Means we are healthy individuals, and also it means that what we felt WAS REAL, was authentic. Thats priceless IMO, to have experienced true love. Even if i got hurt at the end, i truly want to experience love again, and even better, a healthy and more mature love.
I really doubt my ex thinks about me even for a minute a day, but that doesnt make me angry, it saddens me a bit because it makes me realize that she didnt love me at the end, and maybe long before the end. I cant control her feelings or her decisions, so if she wants to be happy and start her new perfect life one day after dumping me, then shes free to do so. Cant control that, just as i cant just think logically and say "well she doesnt give a fuk about me so i wont give a fuk about her anymore". We are individuals and we all go trough **** differently and we see **** from our own perspective. Imma cry for another 6 months if i need to, whatever time it takes, i know i will come out a MUCH stronger man.
We met at the gym. We saw each other at the gym almost everyday for those 3 years of our relationship. Thankfully she changed gyms, or stopped going because shes so busy with his new guy, or simply changed hobbies to take her mind away from her past relationship. I dont know, but i want it to stay this way. Gym is the only moment i get to release all this ****, is the only moment when im truly happy. Everysingle time i enter the parking lot on my car, i start anxiously looking for her car to see if shes there, but she never is. The more time until i see her the better, clearly im not ready yet to act indifferent in front of her betraying ass. I also think, "what if she never comes back to this gym, what if i never see her again?" and start feeling super sad. I dont know man im just a mess right now lol.
I go trough the beggining stage of our relationship, when we met, where we met, how i started conversation with her, how i asked for her phone number, our first call, our first date, everything was perfect at the beggining, plenty of good memories. Cant believe she just disregarded all those memories, cant believe shes doing perfect right now without me. Somehow i dont understand, i thought about myself as such a good man, like, the best man for her... yet we are back to being strangers, just like that, because she chose to. Like what we lived trough never happened."The flowers bloom, then wither... The stars shine and one day become extinct. This earth, the sun, the galaxies and even the big universe, someday will be destroyed. Compared with that, the human life is only a blink, just a little time. In that short time - people are born, laugh, cry, fight, are injured, feel joy, sadness, hate someone, love someone. All in just a moment. And then, are embraced by the eternal sleep called death."
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04-11-2017, 03:34 AM #753
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04-11-2017, 06:07 AM #754
That last bit dude...I tried wrapping my mind around that. It ****ing blew my mind. I pictured my ex, just, living, without me. All those inside jokes, hugs, kisses, fights, cries,...gone. And it didn't have to be this way. If she just had the right meds and therapy, maybe it would have been all different. But it's much harder than how I'm putting it I guess. It's trial and error with bipolar meds. Some make you feel like a zombie, others destroy your sex drive. Been there with her through those. Nothing seemed to work. ****ing bull****. I hate this.
My ex drives a common car, so everywhere I go, I see her car and I check the license plate. I hope it's her, but on the other hand then I think, what would I even say to her if I saw her? I haven't made enough progress yet.
I'll be honest with you man...I'm having a really hard time remembering things about my ex right now. I'm having flashbacks of good times with her too, but I almost can't visualize her face and voice. Am I ****ed up? I think I'm suppressing her to save myself.
Heavy squats for me today. Keep getting those workouts in man.
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04-11-2017, 09:55 AM #755
Her face and voice is also slowly going away from my brain too. That thought also scares me a lot because when i finally forget about her, it means its for real now and its almost as if we never shared those 3 years together.
Also, im having a lot of trouble remembering her bad traits, and the kind of **** that make me think sometimes "damn this girl is not for me", most days i didnt even like her FFS, but now i just remember her laugh, all our passionate moments, all the kinky **** we did, the talks under the stars we had laying on my truck by the road... no homo
I remember one time where we were at the movies, we were watching this hella good movie that we both wanted to see, but right there on the movie theater we started making out and **** got too hot, and we had to leave in the middle of the movie, we rushed to my place doing 90 on a 60 zone lol, we hadnt even closed the door to my house yet and we already had our clothes off, hnggg that a good moment that was.
I remember all those things but i cant remember the times she was a selfish lying kunt, which were a lot of times."The flowers bloom, then wither... The stars shine and one day become extinct. This earth, the sun, the galaxies and even the big universe, someday will be destroyed. Compared with that, the human life is only a blink, just a little time. In that short time - people are born, laugh, cry, fight, are injured, feel joy, sadness, hate someone, love someone. All in just a moment. And then, are embraced by the eternal sleep called death."
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04-11-2017, 10:35 AM #756
I broke NC of 4 months, managed to bang her several times despite she was seeing someone new since 5 weeks.
She dont want to break up with him, he is her "Soulmate" (TM), I told her i have feelings and I miss her, freindship is not possible
than something weird happened:
some days later, last weekend, a sms woke me up at 3 am!, its her, she is now at a disco with her friends, i shoul join if i want and not asleep yet (flirty sms with smileys)
-> WHY IS SHE WRITING THIS?
Why is she sending an sms at 3.am to join her at a party, despite she has a SOULMATE and dont wanna break up with him?
-> Does she missed me at this moment?
-> Does she want to check if her puppy dog will appear at the party to show her friends how important she is for me?
I cant understand the sense behind this sms at 3 am!
I ignored the sms, I never showed up at the party, and also next day nothing, currently at 3rd day of NC.
Now im starting to doubt my action:
Mybe i should have answered the sms, showed up at the party and have a good time with her, than she would maybe realize....
Maybe i ****ed up every chance to change her mind...
was it ok to ignore her? i want her back!
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04-11-2017, 11:35 AM #757"The flowers bloom, then wither... The stars shine and one day become extinct. This earth, the sun, the galaxies and even the big universe, someday will be destroyed. Compared with that, the human life is only a blink, just a little time. In that short time - people are born, laugh, cry, fight, are injured, feel joy, sadness, hate someone, love someone. All in just a moment. And then, are embraced by the eternal sleep called death."
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04-12-2017, 05:46 AM #758
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04-12-2017, 05:44 PM #759
I swear we dated the same girl man. Ughhhh it was only like 2 weeks before we broke up that she got super horny while we were driving and begged me to make her cum before we got to our spot. **** dude, I miss that freak!!
I officially completed 30 days of NC today. I'm doing really ****ing good today. I just had a date with another girl. Not a POF girl, caught up with a girl I used to know. I'm treating all dates from now on as just casual meet ups, almost like I'm making a new friend. Its much less pressure, and I think it's more beneficial to my mindset too. I tagged the girl I met tonight on my ********, maybe it'll get back to my ex ;-) I dont care if thats a ****ty attitude, she told me when we broke up that I was gonna be miserable after. Let her see that ****! She always thought I had no friends or anybody besides her. Lol...no...more like I gave up everybody to be with you....
Things are looking good today. Just need to complete another 30 days of NC now.
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04-12-2017, 06:33 PM #760
Im happy for you man. Im doing like **** srs. This week has been the worst so far i dont have a clue why. Maybe its the fact that im only beggining to accept that she wont be back. I have barely slept this week and i have worked out way too much, also im eating very little, forcing myself trough protein shakes every few hours.
Never thought i would had been this broken if(when) we had to eventually take our separate ways. Thought about it many times, yet i always thought i would be ok and she would had been the most hurt one, just like the 2 previous break ups we had where she was going trough hell and i was holding strong. Now its all reversed, and i think its because it shocks me that she moved on so easily, like, she never looked back. Like i never happened. I think thats what gets me the most."The flowers bloom, then wither... The stars shine and one day become extinct. This earth, the sun, the galaxies and even the big universe, someday will be destroyed. Compared with that, the human life is only a blink, just a little time. In that short time - people are born, laugh, cry, fight, are injured, feel joy, sadness, hate someone, love someone. All in just a moment. And then, are embraced by the eternal sleep called death."
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04-12-2017, 06:40 PM #761
I feel you on the protein shake thing man. I had my week too where all i could do was make protein shake meals (pb,oatmeal,whey).
Trust me-I'm gonna feel like **** again,just like you feel right now. Try not to overdo it at the gym. Ive done that **** too, I know it feels good at the time but youre gonna wear yourself out. Try to only do whats within your limits if you can. I feel for you man, Im sure my ex already sucked a cock. hurts the **** out of me thinking that. It doesnt lessen the blow that I had my hookups too...
Any progress with gym girl?
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04-12-2017, 08:05 PM #762
So first girl I genuinely liked since my ex just turned cold towards me, man it just adds to the stupidity of emotions I'm going through right now. I finally felt like I was ready to move forward and actually start dating again but now I feel like I'm back a square one and would be better alone for a little while.
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04-12-2017, 09:10 PM #763
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04-12-2017, 09:12 PM #764
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04-12-2017, 09:16 PM #765
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04-12-2017, 10:46 PM #766
lol you aint sure she has sucked a cock brah, also you may not feel bad again dont think negatively brah. Id kill for a day where im legit happy srs.
I keep idealizing things about her, imagining her waiting for me outside my house/gym, bawling her eyes out telling me she made a mistake. I feel good for a bit then i realize she's probably happier than ever going trough her honey moon phase with her new guy and that she most likely doesnt think about me.. then depression kicks back in.
I try to pretend im doing great though. There is no way shes gonna get the message that they saw me sad or angry. I talk to mutual friends and i never discuss that with them and never let them see me without a smile, acting like ive moved on. Also, next time she sees me (if i see her), shes gonna see the hottest, most masculine man she's ever seen, shredded as fuk.
More than anything, i cant wait for the fukin day i legit dont give a **** about what she thinks..."The flowers bloom, then wither... The stars shine and one day become extinct. This earth, the sun, the galaxies and even the big universe, someday will be destroyed. Compared with that, the human life is only a blink, just a little time. In that short time - people are born, laugh, cry, fight, are injured, feel joy, sadness, hate someone, love someone. All in just a moment. And then, are embraced by the eternal sleep called death."
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04-13-2017, 01:21 AM #767
I think I'm going to crumble. Broke up 3 days ago. Did the right thing, agreed with her on break up and blocked her on all social media. Blocked her friends and family. We were only together 5 months but this one stings the most. I think its because we did so much together. Mornings are the hardest for me because I am having some intense dreams about her, really awful. I still speak to her dad on Whatsapp but he doesnt bring her up as he knows the situation and we talk about drones.
Was due to go down to see her the night before breakup (she lives 80 miles away but always went to see her) Pulled teh trigger on buying a nonrefundable ticket even though she said to "lower my expectations" lol But she gave me all this chit drama about how my gift was too much. It was an excuse to dump me she had been distant and cold all week. I think the relationship was mutual but I loved her. If she wasn't being a kunt I could have happily have gone on with her.
I have never felt so underappreciated and like chit in my entire life misc. She actually said to her friend that I'm not physically attractive (i have weight that i need to lose but she was piling it on she got up to 17 stone!) I was only trying to do a nice thing for her birthday by getting he a gift but she threw it in my face saying its too much. It was her dream safari holiday and i was in a position to get it without breaking bank. Honestly, her friend got way too involved in our relationship as well.
Now tonight is going to be worst for me, she'll be banging guys at her friend's daughters party (her friends kids are in their 20s) I know she will because thats why we broke up. It was obvious, she missed being single.
She couldnt care less about me though.
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04-13-2017, 05:16 AM #768
You are not going to crumble. You are going to face a rough time, for sure. Accept it and embrace your pain and convince yourself you want to get over it.
First of all, stop talking to her dad (and refrain from participating in any interaction or activity that makes you feel uncomfortable about her).
You are 30, which means that you still have lots of good things waiting for you, and believe me this can be a blessing in disguise if you only allow it to be. Your appreciation is not dependent on the opinion of some random female (yes, she might be the ultimate girl for you, but to the rest of the world she's just some random slut).
She told you you are unattractive? She wants to party and try new cocks? Good. Think about this and let the anger move you forward.
Listen, man. Go to the gym, start a diet, rediscover your passions. Define goals. Do some serious reading on philosophy and relativize your situation. Learn to meditate. Think about what she will see once she gets to see you again. Use it as fuel, not as a way to get her back.
Do not contact her in any ****ing way!
You are the mother****ing man so start acting like it, and keep showing around here.
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04-13-2017, 05:32 AM #769
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04-13-2017, 06:09 AM #770
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04-13-2017, 07:15 AM #771
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04-13-2017, 07:26 AM #772
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04-13-2017, 09:42 AM #773
You know what man, i think you shouldnt even care if you gave too much answers, or too much feedback, or too little, or responded to quick, or were too rude, were too nice, etc. Honestly, that **** shouldnt matter to you anymore, i think the best option for you right now is to force yourself into a mindset where you legit dont give a **** what she thinks, because she is not worth it.
She dumped you, as you said it, to suck on different dicks. You bought her an expensive gift, you cared about her "too much", and she dumped you. Is that really a woman worth investing too much time into thinking how to respond to her in order to look the coolest or the most relaxed? I say you were fine, go NC, absolutely go NC, and let her realize her mistake on her own, you dont need to act a certain way, just cut all contact from now on and let her be the slut she wants to be. Trust me when i say that she will regret it sooner or later, but by the time she does regret it, she wont have a way to contact you anyway.
I know its hard to do man, but this is what this thread is about, to support ourselves. I too went completely NC on my ex while she wanted to stay in touch (yeah right, like im going to stay in touch just so she can tell me about how great the new guy is). I blocked her from everything, blocked all her family as well since she was stalking me from their FBs, and im just trying to move on. Its a painful process but hey, it is what it is man, this is what we are here for, to let our sadness, anger, nostaly etc out to other brahs who can relate. The last thing ill do tho its fukin worry about what she thinks about me going NC, blocking her FB, her family, etc. If im too rude, or an *******, or too insecure, or clearly butthurt, or whatever, i dont care, i didnt do it to "send a message", i did it because it was what i needed to do in order to move on easier.
I know its scary to move on brah, but you gotta do it. You are 30 years old, you are best off investing your time, money, emotions in a girl that is actually worth it and not a slut that wants to be out sucking dicks. To meet a new woman first you need to get over this one, so rise n shine brah, you have a process in front of you but we all gonna make it."The flowers bloom, then wither... The stars shine and one day become extinct. This earth, the sun, the galaxies and even the big universe, someday will be destroyed. Compared with that, the human life is only a blink, just a little time. In that short time - people are born, laugh, cry, fight, are injured, feel joy, sadness, hate someone, love someone. All in just a moment. And then, are embraced by the eternal sleep called death."
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04-13-2017, 10:37 AM #774
- Join Date: Mar 2017
- Location: United Kingdom (Great Britain)
- Age: 28
- Posts: 66
- Rep Power: 194
Update as I need some help.
Day 11 NC and all is going well. Reunited with old friends, made new ones and having a lot of fun so generally I'm feeling much better for the most part. Anyways I was clearing out my phone today of old convos etc and came across a missed 'Messenger Audio' (showing on my calls screen) from my ex a few week or so before the breakup. I couldn't remember ever seeing it before or listening to the message at the time it was sent so I hit play.
Very much to my surprise instead of playing a voice message that I thought she had left it ended up calling her through the FB messenger app. (Phuck my life). I instantly cut the call but it still showed that I had tried to ring her on the convo history and 2mins later she sends me a message "Why did you call me?". Do I maintain NC or do I just say it was a mistake? Okay yes I phucked up by trying to listen to the 'voice message' but I assure you it was out of curiosity rather than anything else.
Stay strong fellow brahs, we can make it!
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04-13-2017, 10:41 AM #775
Don't EVER let her see you sad. Don't give her that ****in satisfaction, she doesn't deserve it. Just tell yourself you gotta get through 30 days. Baby steps. Now I have to get through another 30 days.
I've been watching a bunch of Corey Wayne videos on youtube. He makes a lot of sense man. Going NC gives you the most options and best possible position for anything. But we have to actually work on ourselves during this time. I am FINALLY feeling different about myself. She wont be in honeymoon with this new guy forever. She will test him sooner or later, and maybe if you stay NC she will start comparing him more and more to you. If that gives you consolation anyway.
I think I've been acting too cocky or "playerish" on these first dates. I had a second date planned for a girl tonight, but she canceled to 'get ready for easter'. Okay, maybe plausible. I just had a date with a girl last night, and while she seemed upset I was cutting the date short, I'm not getting the same vibe today from her. Still responsive over text, so I could be over analyzing. Not that I care specifically about her, I'm moreso just criticizing my own skills to keep attraction.
We'll see...but I'm more than likely coming off too arrogant or playerish
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04-13-2017, 10:49 AM #776
- Join Date: Nov 2010
- Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States
- Age: 30
- Posts: 7,570
- Rep Power: 29586
going no contact made my girl come back to me, the first day i went N/C she sent me 17 messages and called my phone numerous times and called my sister.
SNAPCHAT: KING_JAYYDA
Youtube music: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGekSg1w7bJJvOt2Q4OAipg
Youtube blogs: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxeEGAND1DlcTHn2Oxix-cg
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04-13-2017, 10:51 AM #777
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04-13-2017, 10:53 AM #778
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04-13-2017, 10:56 AM #779
Feel like absolute chite brahs. I was supposed to be down to see my ex today and go to her friends party with her. Now I know her friend will be pushing guys onto her to sleep with because thats what she likes. Feels chit knowing shes gonna be sucking dik and fkin tons of guys that easy. Already one loser I know who wants her who is an easy target thats gonna be there. Fk sake cant get it out my head its driving me crazy.
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04-13-2017, 10:57 AM #780
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