so i've been in Afghanistan for the past 5 1/2 months and my marriage is going to ****. i've been married for 2 1/2 years and up until now everything has been great, my wife has been really understanding about the Corps and my scheduleing and deployment, and anything else about it. in the past month though everything has really gone to **** and she brought up the topic of divorce if we cant figure things out, which is weird because i didnt think anything was wrong. she just doesnt seem interested in me anymore. she stopped sending me packages and letters and is always busy when i try to call. it sucks but looking forward to the next time i talk to her is the only thing keeping me going. just wanted to vent a little.
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Thread: losing my wife...
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03-06-2007, 07:15 AM #1
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losing my wife...
F.T.B.S.D.O.
(fuk the b.s. drive on)
Cpl, United States Marine Corps
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jmonty
Bushmaster
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03-06-2007, 07:17 AM #2
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Yea, military marriages are rough, especially when you are so young. How old is your wife?
I saw a lot of the problems you describe while I was in the Army. Its definitely not something unique, but, I also saw a lot of marriages that made it through just fine, people that were really devoted to each other and while it wasn't easy, they made sacrifices to get through tough times. Hopefully you and your wife can do the same, and if for some reason, she just can't get through it, well, then you deserve much better.Russell Wilson, the first QB in NFL history to throw a game-winning interception.
"So you got fired again eh?" "Yeah, they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident."
Spiders are like offensive linemen, the best ones do their job and you never notice them.
An obvious example of New Math.
"It was a 2% tax hike, dumbass. From 3% to 5%"-NRKF84
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03-06-2007, 07:19 AM #3
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03-06-2007, 07:19 AM #4
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03-06-2007, 07:21 AM #5
Part of the problem maybe that you got married too young. I am guessing 18 by the details given and your age uner your user name. Mayube she grew up a bit and changed what she wanted.
Just so you know, this was not meant to be an attack or sarcastic at all.I am not trying to be better than you, just better than myself
BB jiu jitsu team 2009
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03-06-2007, 07:22 AM #6
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03-06-2007, 07:25 AM #7
- Join Date: Oct 2006
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she kind of went through one back in october when i first got here but then some of her friends started helping her a lot more. it just sucks though because i cant stand most of her friends, there all really friggen annoying and immature.
i've got 18 days left in afghanistan then however long it takes me to get from kuwait to home. i just hope things work themseves out when i get home, cuz as i said before i didnt see any problems.F.T.B.S.D.O.
(fuk the b.s. drive on)
Cpl, United States Marine Corps
Misc FireTeam 1:
I dont work at Ballys
Nutsy54 - The Chief
TheDukeUSMC
HELIX35
ReSpAwN DeMoN
bluemarlinO4 - Corpsman
stuckhere500000 - Heavy Guns
ANiMaliZtIk - USAF
fitnessman - Wpns expert
ExtremistPullup - Ammo
jmonty
Bushmaster
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03-06-2007, 07:27 AM #8
- Join Date: Aug 2006
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I to am sorry to hear about your issues, keep your head up. I think a lot has to due to the fact that you are not around, and I am sure that she is doing her best to cope with out you and she doesnt want to see how much she is hurting without you, I am sure that she only wants to be the best support system that you have, especially with you standing by our country. Women can be so needy and she is backing away cause it hurts cause she cant spend all the time she wants with her husband. Some people might say that you are to young to be married, but it just depends on the people. I think it is more that you are away and she cant be with you.
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03-06-2007, 07:33 AM #9
- Join Date: Sep 2005
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Russell Wilson, the first QB in NFL history to throw a game-winning interception.
"So you got fired again eh?" "Yeah, they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident."
Spiders are like offensive linemen, the best ones do their job and you never notice them.
An obvious example of New Math.
"It was a 2% tax hike, dumbass. From 3% to 5%"-NRKF84
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03-06-2007, 07:33 AM #10
Stay cool when you get home bro - she very well may have found someone else and is cheating on you. That's generally what happens when one partner loses interest in another. If that's the case you have to just let it go and do not do a damn thing to him or her. I know that sucks and it's wrong but if you so much as hit either of them it can go badly for you.
Keep your head up, your emotions down and your brain functioning. Good luck Marine.
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03-06-2007, 07:43 AM #11
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03-06-2007, 07:47 AM #12
just be patient mate.....marriages have ups and downs especially in your situation....i know it's hard but the best advice i can give is PATIENCE....be patient in no time you'll be back home, when you're there you'll have the time to face her and all the problems that she might have regarding your marriage....have faith my friend, she once fell in love for you....once you get in touch with her she can once again be....she's just lonely, and with bad company as you said, that's a bad combination....but nothing beyond repair, i once lived what you are going through, me and the wifey had a rough going wich lasted almost a year....almost ruined my marriage....but i took initiative, at first she didn't want to try anymore...but at the end she came through and followed my lead.....fastforward we are now better than ever, DON'T LOSE FAITH, AND YOU ARE A WARRIOR IN YOUR HEART... FIGHT FOR IT.
***Manuel73 fat loss log:
"THE ROAD CYCLING FACTOR....another tool to reach the 180lbs mark"
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=139735553
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03-06-2007, 07:49 AM #13
I'm sorry to hear about that bro. You're 20 years old. What are doing getting married? You should be out there enjoying life rather than staying tied down to one woman. If she brought up divorce, it looks like she wants it. If she doesn't want to stay with you, it's time to say adios. Be safe, get back safe and you can get all the women you want. Cheers!
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03-06-2007, 07:58 AM #14
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03-06-2007, 08:10 AM #15
Definitely listen to Geno's advice! I had a long distance relationship that ended up with her cheating on me with 3 different guys. It was hard to keep my cool but I did it.
I also know a guy that came back from over there. He was in the Army. He found out his wife had been cheating on him. He didn't keep his cool. He took his survival knife and cut the guys carotid artery in a Wal-Mart parking lot. He obviously is in a world of trouble right now. Don't let that happen to you!
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03-06-2007, 08:21 AM #16
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Well there's no denying that she's being really selfish riht now, but she's a woman and us women get emotional and like to be spoiled once in a while. Maybe you could be the bigger person and do something to make her feel loved---maybe go online and have flowers send to her (proflowers.com?). You could buy her some cool gift online (somethign romantic--there are a lot of sites with that kind of stuff) and send it to your home address with her name on it...tell her that she should be expecting something in teh mail from you. you could also write her a poem and mail that.
Chances are she is feeling lonely and misses having you there to hold her and talk with her and do the sweet things you guys did when you dated. If she's sent you a bunch of packages in the past, maybe you could send her a package and make her feel loved too.
And then there is always open communication. Talk to her and tell her that you love her and that you need her because she's the only thing getting you through this.
I believe almost any marriage can be saved, so it really depends on how hard you want to fight for her.
If it makes you feel any better, my parents got married when they were 20 and they are still married and love eachother 31 years later.
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03-06-2007, 08:56 AM #17
Maybe things will work out, or maybe like the others have said, she might already be over it by now. In either case, just stay cool bro. If it works out, great, if not, it takes two to make it work, so there is only so much you can do. Just keep your chin up, I'm sure you've been thru much worse.
Peace,
E.My P90X blog:
http://blog.bodybuilding.com/Enote/
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03-06-2007, 09:17 AM #18
Well, maybe in those 18 days you have left you can take your aggression out on the Taliban?
I can just see the headline now "Jilted husband single-handledly breaks the back of the resurgence!" Followed by a picture of 20 Taliban fighters running away from you and only you.
Seriously though, it sucks that you have to think about this now while you're still deployed.
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03-06-2007, 09:28 AM #19
Well think of it this way theres nothing you can do about it now, when you get back stateside and you see your wife you can work things out, you'll be home soon and Im sure she'll be happy to see you when you get home, and you know how women are always listening to their girlfriends and always doing erratic things.
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03-06-2007, 09:33 AM #20
I would be pissed, your over in a hostel environment serving your country, putting your life on the line and you wife decides she is losing interest! If she is so selfish she can't stick out the hard times when you are serving your country she should be tossed to the side with the rest of the selfish trash.
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03-06-2007, 09:57 AM #21i_bleed_texanGuest
Wow strong Rambo...
Dude, these guys are right...for now, who knows if she's cheating, or if she's just trying to cope with being without you, but it's really this simple - if she loves you, then nothing, ESPECIALLY you being deployed, should make her stop wanting to be with you. If a girl truly loves her military husband, then there should be nothing but the most complete RESPECT for what he's doing, and the only thing she should be thinking is "God, please bring the love of my life home safely."
On that note, even if she doesn't have that respect for what you're doing over there, I think I speak for a lot of people here when I say that we do. Thanks, Marine.Last edited by i_bleed_texan; 03-06-2007 at 10:00 AM.
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03-06-2007, 10:42 AM #22
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a marriage is work at any age. factor in being married as a teenager, and the problems are even more prevelant. factor in a long distance relationship, and the problems become exponential. I understand that getting married young is a part of military culture, but the fact is at this age you could be having the same problems wether you were home or not. I hope it all works out for you and thanks for the service!
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03-06-2007, 11:10 AM #23
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i am married with a guy who was in iraq too i thing is just how much she love u or how strong is the love ,,, iam sorry if my english no is to good. but what i mean is talk with her waht is going on? maybe u no are able to call her a lot i know how is that but he used to write me a lot of letters no just for e mail i diferent get letter in your hands ,,. well really i hope everything work better but the most importa u can do is talk to her .. telling how u fell.. ask her to be honest with u and depend what she said ... you have to make a decision,,.. the life to end there if no is with her u can found somebody else who really apreacciate everything you are...
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03-06-2007, 11:22 AM #24
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03-06-2007, 11:31 AM #25
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03-06-2007, 11:43 AM #26
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03-06-2007, 12:08 PM #27
Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.
"I shoot I score, He shoots I score" - Dan Gable
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And on the fifth day God invented iron for man to lift. And lift it he did. And strong he did become. And good he found this to be. And God said unto He, go and lift and be strong and be good.
stop wishing and get lifting." - joekerr31
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03-06-2007, 02:01 PM #28
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Well "Roca" negged me because he diagrees with my post about this (and he didn't even make a post)...but I stand by my statement. I don't think you should throw away your marriage because she mentioned the "D" word. Women sometimes say stupid things and we let our emotions get the best of us. It's true that a lot of military men get cheated on when they are overseas and a lot of their wives get cheated on when their men are overseas too. My ex was a Marine and I delt with him being deployed 6 months at a time and it is hard on both people. Your wife is going through a tough time not having you as well---and that's why I said she's being a bit selfish, because she needs to be strong for you. I'm NOT making excuses for her, but I am saying that this bump in the road doesn't mean it's the end of the road for your marriage. How is that bad advice?
I also dont' see why it's so bad that you take some initiative to show her you still love her by sending her something. I think by doing that, you will be putting a spart back intot eh relationship. She misses you, and she does love you. More than likely she is mentioning devorce becaus this is really painful for her to be away from you----yes this is selfish but I bet that's what she's thinking. You guys can get through it, just dont give up.
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03-06-2007, 02:08 PM #29
dude,your wife IS cheating, its a fact.............you were too young to marry anyways and what do u expect?you are never there dude!she has found someone else..........move on........and i dont care if i get negged for telling the truth!so dump her or be a pu$$y and forgive her like a lil sissy girl,i dont care
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03-06-2007, 02:43 PM #30
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