Just found out my gf has a secret child living with her parents

[Yachty]

uwotm8

[vordulmega]

Women brah, expect us blokes to trust them yet theyre often the ones lying from the get go

Was going to rep for saying blokes and making me feel at home but im on spread

[SrsnotSrs1]

Believe me when I say, there's worse secrets she could have had. If you love her as much you say, then maybe you give it some time. Why is the child being raised by her parents? How much involvement does she have with her daughter? Maybe you could try and get the back story on it.

lol pls don't listen to this op

[Morati]

If a girl doesn't say she has a kid the first time you meet, tapdance the fuk outta there son.
There's no reason to omit that information unless she's asshamed of her own kid. In that case fuk her, since she's not wife material anyway.

[johsin28]

Been dating my chick for about 3 months, and I honestly thought everything was too good to be true. She's young, beautiful, fun to be around. We're having the time of our lives. I caught major feels. We're at the point in the relationship where we refer to each other as bf/gf.

Thing is - I've never been much of a social media guy. I go on ******** like twice a year at most. But tonight I finally google my chick's name - I find her and her fb has tons of photos of her with her daughter, who it looks like she had when she was 16 (she's 20 now).


Well fuk. Right now I have the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I haven't texted her tonight yet - dunno what I'm going to say or do. So far she doesn't know that I know.

Dang it, I wanted to have something real with this chick. I put a lot of emotional investment into her, and she kept this this all a secret from me At the same time, it's pure 'tardedness to raise someone elses kid.

I don't know what I'm going to do. North Carolina's the only real option, isn't it, misc?

just lol at not running background check on her before developing feels for her. Does she even have security clearance?

If it's too good to be true, it probably is.



say hello to your future self

[rflores90]

She's obviously a piece of **** mother if she doesn't even raise her kid or even tell you about her having a kid after dating you that long.

[MrFrumble]

believe me when i say, there's worse secrets she could have had. If you love her as much you say, then maybe you give it some time. Why is the child being raised by her parents? How much involvement does she have with her daughter? Maybe you could try and get the back story on it.

lol irl!

[rflores90]

If a girl doesn't say she has a kid the first time you meet, tapdance the fuk outta there son.
There's no reason to omit that information unless she's asshamed of her own kid. In that case fuk her, since she's not wife material anyway.

This x2. She's a disgusting person to be ashamed of her own child

[TXBuddy]

My brother in law went through this. She ended up hiding TWO kids. He still married her. They had two more. They are now divorced because she is a POS and we all called it from the start.

[helpmee]

A lot of single mothers don't like to have their children around men they are dating. Young children that don't have fathers get attached, REALLY fast. I dated a woman that was divorced and had kids. Her youngest melted my heart. She was a beautiful, intelligent little girl that was such a sweetie to be around. I enjoyed the time my GF brought her around. About 6 months in to the relationship, she called me daddy. Srs. I just ignored it and continued on. You have to understand though, I was madly in love with this woman, and really thought I would marry her. Her daughter was 2 at the time. I fed her, cared for her, even gave her baths.

Her two older kids lived with her parents. (Yes, she had three kids). The 8 year old daughter kind of took things in stride and was pretty ok with everything. Meanwhile, her son, 10 at the time, was a mess. Having no daddy in his life made him an emotional mess. I think over all he wanted to be a good kid, but being around me gave him resentful feelings. He had hopes I would stick around, but deep down feared I would not. When we finally broke up, her son was devastated. He cried more than my GF did.

Anyway, telling you all of this because kids are fragile in divorce and single parent situations. Be gentle, be mindful, and be kind, even if this girl turns out to be crazy. What you do can stick with those kids for a long time, and they can't handle a lot.

Yeah... That is all good.. But most tell you they have kids before or during the first date at the latest.

[jamesovercome]

or you could raise it and give it a strong father figure in its life like a real man would

A real man is raising a kid that's not his just to have no legal rights to see them? No thanks. Dealing with the real father, who 9/10 brings drama or is a loser or (at best) is dead or out of the picture. You end up paying for everything. Meanwhile a couple years down the road the kid gets mad at you and ultimately says "I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU, YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!!!"


The fact you can go several months without her mentioning her kid is beyond comprehension. Even if she don't want to hurt her kids, the fact that she doesn't even acknowledge their existence is a total deal breaker.
"I can't go out tonight because..."
"I gotta pick X up from his grandparents house"
You'd think she would say SOMETHING about the kid.

That just says she could lie right to your face with no remorse.

[PastaMaster55]

Afbb.

[p7nk]

Opie 3 months and your seriously catching the feels?

Lol. Not sure if srs. That's a big secret. But wait you're a female. So your logic and thinking can/is unbalanced.

Or maybe my own life is so fukd up, this is incredibly mild to me. Which is incredibly fukd up in its own.


OP, are you positive it's her child and have you talked to her?

nope, still female logic... a ****ing baby is the biggest secret. you sucking dick in a bathroom stall isn't as bad as hiding a kid

[P3nguin]

It could be a good thing she keeping her a secret TBH

Meaning she not gonna rely on you to raise it.

[LurkoLantern]

I made the original post and then went to bed (slept pretty badly - I was all torn up). I think I may not have explained the situation very well (again, I just found out).

- She's 20, and I'm 35. I'm firmly in the "once women go past 26/lose their glow, they're no longer marriage material" camp. So this isn't unusual for me - my last few girlfriends have been 21-25.
- She also lives at home with her family. Sorry I didn't explain that one well beforehand. I would always pick her up in front of her house, but she never wanted me to go inside. But she and her daughter live in the same house as the rest of her family, so she didn't abandon her kid.
- She would talk about her family in the context of her parents & two brothers. Zero mention of anyone else.
- Again, I'm 35 - ******** and social media in general came along AFTER I graduated from college. It was never a big deal to me, and I'd log onto FB only once in a great while. So last night was the first time it popped into my head to "Hey, lets have a look at the gf's ******** page."
- On her fb page she describes herself as a single mother, lots of pics of her with her kid (who she identifies in the captions as her kid).


Y'know, I've actually dated a few single moms before. It's not desirable by any means. But the main issue was that she never revealed she had a kid to me (her supposed bf). We met on Tinder. No mention of kid in profile (or photos). First date, second date, fifteenth date, still no mention of having a 4 year old daughter.

For the past 3 months this girl has been my perfect sexual outlet, to the point where I've actually had to tell her some weekends, "no, no we're having too much sex. My dik needs to recharge/rest". Now I'm wondering if she was just trying to rope me in. I knew it was all to good to be true.



Sigh...a lie by omission is still a lie. I suppose I should be glad I found out sooner rather than later. I'm going to ask her what's up, why didn't she mention such an important detail on the first date. But the inescapable reality is: if she kept this from me, what else is she capable of hiding?



North Carolina, I'll be watching your NCAA games soon enough

[joshewwah]

You should give her another chance OP

everyone makes mistakes, and that child needs a good father figure like yourself

take one for the team and do your job as a man to clean up this problem for society

people on this forum would call you a "cuck", but I beg to differ, I think instead you'll be a "hero"

[mastdog]

pics of kid

[Vhagar]

I made the original post and then went to bed (slept pretty badly - I was all torn up). I think I may not have explained the situation very well (again, I just found out).

- She's 20, and I'm 35. I'm firmly in the "once women go past 26/lose their glow, they're no longer marriage material" camp. So this isn't unusual for me - my last few girlfriends have been 21-25.
- She also lives at home with her family. Sorry I didn't explain that one well beforehand. I would always pick her up in front of her house, but she never wanted me to go inside. But she and her daughter live in the same house as the rest of her family, so she didn't abandon her kid.
- She would talk about her family in the context of her parents & two brothers. Zero mention of anyone else.
- Again, I'm 35 - ******** and social media in general came along AFTER I graduated from college. It was never a big deal to me, and I'd log onto FB only once in a great while. So last night was the first time it popped into my head to "Hey, lets have a look at the gf's ******** page."
- On her fb page she describes herself as a single mother, lots of pics of her with her kid (who she identifies in the captions as her kid).


Y'know, I've actually dated a few single moms before. It's not desirable by any means. But the main issue was that she never revealed she had a kid to me (her supposed bf). We met on Tinder. No mention of kid in profile (or photos). First date, second date, fifteenth date, still no mention of having a 4 year old daughter.

For the past 3 months this girl has been my perfect sexual outlet, to the point where I've actually had to tell her some weekends, "no, no we're having too much sex. My dik needs to recharge/rest". Now I'm wondering if she was just trying to rope me in. I knew it was all to good to be true.



Sigh...a lie by omission is still a lie. I suppose I should be glad I found out sooner rather than later. I'm going to ask her what's up, why didn't she mention such an important detail on the first date. But the inescapable reality is: if she kept this from me, what else is she capable of hiding?



North Carolina, I'll be watching your NCAA games soon enough

Strong ****

At 25 dating a 20 year old was weird for me. They have no life experience, no money, and are generally retarded.

How could you look for that as a long term thing

[p7nk]

Strong ****

At 25 dating a 20 year old was weird for me. They have no life experience, no money, and are generally retarded.

How could you look for that as a long term thing

girl im talking to is 22 and im 29. and it's a bit hard to find **** to talk about at times. i can't imagine a 15 year difference.

tour might be over for opie. not many girls with "glow" are gonna want to marry someone with a 15 year difference. and i mean like legit, not cause the 35yo has money, ect...

[devin45k]

Time to go full contact

[MrAWatts]

If she has it plastered all over her social media then she clearly isn't trying to hide it from anyone. How in the blue fuk did you come to that conclusion.

[anonymous]

[James24WR]

I hear North Carolina is beautiful this time of year OP.



But here's another angle- maybe she got raped when she was young and her family is too religious to abort it. Or her boyfriend died tragically and she kept it. Either way it's still shady and you should confront her about it. If you aren't happy with her answer just spin it about how you can't be with someone that would try to hide something like that and leave.

Edit: are you sure it's hers? And not like some family fuq up that she and her family look after because her siblings are a joke or something??

Its actually hot and humid as the devils balls. However I agree OP needs to come join me in NC.

[BlueSasquatch]

Congrats OP, you're a Dad now.

[TrueBromance]

the past is the past bro

[wrassler45]

If she has it plastered all over her social media then she clearly isn't trying to hide it from anyone. How in the blue fuk did you come to that conclusion.

The above is true. Sounds like she didn't want to bring a 35 year old male into her parents house and says "this is my boyfriend"


Also, are you going to talk to her about it?

[RealAesthetic]

This.

I don't know one female that doesn't mention their kid at least once in a conversation, its what adults/parents talk about. 3 months? And it's all over ********? You weren't paying attention.

this, op is a retard

[alphafreak]

Believe me when I say, there's worse secrets she could have had. If you love her as much you say, then maybe you give it some time. Why is the child being raised by her parents? How much involvement does she have with her daughter? Maybe you could try and get the back story on it.

Why am I not shocked that a manlet cuck would try to give dumb advice, if your girlfriend has a kid never once mentioned it and dump it on her family why would you give her time she already had all the time in the world to come clean.

[ugottabjoshinme]

I made the original post and then went to bed (slept pretty badly - I was all torn up). I think I may not have explained the situation very well (again, I just found out).

- She's 20, and I'm 35. I'm firmly in the "once women go past 26/lose their glow, they're no longer marriage material" camp. So this isn't unusual for me - my last few girlfriends have been 21-25.
- She also lives at home with her family. Sorry I didn't explain that one well beforehand. I would always pick her up in front of her house, but she never wanted me to go inside. But she and her daughter live in the same house as the rest of her family, so she didn't abandon her kid.
- She would talk about her family in the context of her parents & two brothers. Zero mention of anyone else.
- Again, I'm 35 - ******** and social media in general came along AFTER I graduated from college. It was never a big deal to me, and I'd log onto FB only once in a great while. So last night was the first time it popped into my head to "Hey, lets have a look at the gf's ******** page."
- On her fb page she describes herself as a single mother, lots of pics of her with her kid (who she identifies in the captions as her kid).


Y'know, I've actually dated a few single moms before. It's not desirable by any means. But the main issue was that she never revealed she had a kid to me (her supposed bf). We met on Tinder. No mention of kid in profile (or photos). First date, second date, fifteenth date, still no mention of having a 4 year old daughter.

For the past 3 months this girl has been my perfect sexual outlet, to the point where I've actually had to tell her some weekends, "no, no we're having too much sex. My dik needs to recharge/rest". Now I'm wondering if she was just trying to rope me in. I knew it was all to good to be true.



Sigh...a lie by omission is still a lie. I suppose I should be glad I found out sooner rather than later. I'm going to ask her what's up, why didn't she mention such an important detail on the first date. But the inescapable reality is: if she kept this from me, what else is she capable of hiding?



North Carolina, I'll be watching your NCAA games soon enough

Holy fuk. How does it feel being a 35 year old dude picking up a 20 year old from her parents house?

I can't even imagine how you can be close to the same level mentally to have a real relationship. Her hiding a kid from you makes sense because she hasn't even matured into an adult yet.

[Jammer02xd]

On the one hand: how have you known her for months and never once looked at her ********? That's basic intel gathering to see what kind of person she is and the kind of **** that she posts.

It's also sketchy as **** that she has a child and never directly mentioned it. I'm a father and if I was dating someone new they are going to know from day one that I have a child. Any parent who is dating and doesn't mention this outright is being dishonest and I would steer clear of IMO.