The Creatures Of Gym Life, Common Sense

[AlexPSU]

In our journey of life we run across many characters. Business men & women, Volvo driving soccer moms, sluts, pranksters, criminals. Much like a well developed television series or a movie everyone has something that makes them an individual, something that sets them apart from the pack.

It's no different in the gyms we train at.

I thought I'd take a few minutes to describe some of the characters that train at my gym, some of the characters that entertain me (they don't know about it, though!). Before I get started I just wanted to note that none of these descriptions are meant to be insulting, I only insult those who don't have the tenacity to enter a gym.

The first character is one that I like to call Rainbow Randolph. (I got the name from Robin Williams' character in Death to Smootchy) He's a man who appears to be in his mid-forties, and who I'm sure has a slight mental disposition. He dresses in spandex shorts and a spandex tank top, his favorite outfit is all stripes, similar to the Gay Pride flag. He may also have tourette's syndrome as random phrases have been heard coming from his mouth, and he especially likes to scream "dirty rabbit" from the shower stall. He's not in especially great shape (most likely from lack of diet and cardio) but he still makes it to the gym daily.

The next guy is one that I fear and respect, "the old psycho". He comes to the gym by himself, lifts heavy, and scares the **** out of female members. He's in his fifties for sure, doesn't talk to anyone, does classic power lifting... and stares at the women in between sets... (my kinda guy!) The only problem I have is the fact that by looking at this guy, you'd never know that he's performing 700 pound deadlifts and 600 pound squats on a weekly basis. My favorite thing about this guy is his between set "psych out" routine, where is slaps his own ass and makes noises like he's a horse. It kind of reminds me of Ronnie Coleman's tape where he's screaming "light weight" before a thousand pound deadlift attempt.

The next character is one I like to call "legs" -- because he NEVER TRAINS HIS LEGS. This bastard has an upper body that I'd kill to have (***** genetics) and the guy could honestly compete on at least an amatuer level. I somehow have the feeling that this guy's eating some androgens because he doesn't lift very heavily and he's got a huge back, a ripped chest and very proportionally huge arms. I honestly think that one of these days I'm gonna get the guy to spot me doing squats and get the bastard to do them himself... I'll force this guy into using common sense.

Then we've got the bench crew. As you all may know, I get very angered when mother****ers ask how much my max bench is, and judge my training on that alone. To be honest with you, I've been experiencing rotator cuff pain, and haven't been barbell benching lately, so I'm especially sensitive to the topic... anyway, these guys are in the gym at least every other day (sometimes every day!) and they're benching! That's all they do! There's about five of them... and I just want these guys to see the damage of overtraining!

The fifth character is Mr. Mrs. Stretch. When I get the chance to train in the morning, it kills me to see this guy. You see, my gym has a "stretching class" every day at 6:30 AM. The class is filled with middle-age, overweight housewives... and this guy! He's a 25 year old man, who needs to get away from this class! First, this class' purpose is to serve as a warm-up to training... even the housewives know that. But this guys takes this 25 minute class, showers, and leaves! I'm sure this is the same guy who goes to McDonalds for lunch with his co-workers, orders two Big Macs and a 40 ounce Coke and asks everyone while he's not losing any fat. People like this kill me... Note to people like this: If your instructor is an overweight women, it's a good sign that it's time to re-evaluate whether that class is right for you.

Of course, this is a small minority of people at my gym, and the majority is smart in their training and nutrition.

When choosing a gym, you should always pick one out where the people training are bigger and stronger than you are. You'll feel more competetive, and want to keep up with the guys there.

Common sense is the key to exceeding your goals, use it wisely.

[GOONER]

i know what you mean about these characters, theres a few like them in my gym, one guy who also never trains legs but has a great upper body and thats all he concerntrates on,

and also this gay guy who wears spandex and stands in front of the mirrors and does tons of stretches bending right over in the worlds smallest shorts.

and then theres these middle aged woman who all wear huge baggy t-shirts to hide thier weight and they just do a half arsed 20 minute walk on the treadmill

then theres these really hot gym chicks who wear skin thight clothes, tinny tope cutt off at the mid-drift then blatently do it to get attention and then they get annoyed when all the guys are perving over them.

[Ev1]

The guy thats always screaming at the top of his lungs when lifting heavy amounts of weight with veins seeming to pop out in all the weirdest places.

The woman in her early thirties that wears a "SWAT" sweat shirt even on the hottest days in the gym and tries to be a cop

The guy that has his earphones on, lifts damn heavy on each thing he does and then goes back to the bike and makes really funny swinging arm motions as he pedals.

The old skinny chinese skinny guy in his forties that comes in regular clothes, does some really hilarious looking "stretching" and "cardio" and then lifts some 10 pound weights as power lifting.

The guy that smells bad.

The brothers with the crazy tattoos.

The guy that breaks machines.

The girl who's ass and nice round titties I always look at whenever shes there...

[justin_in_IL]

lol.. this reminds me of some of the guys in my gym...

The ILS crew (Imaginary lat syndrome) .. they walk around like they are holding basketballs under their arms.

That old guy that wears the tank top and yells on every rep... he cracks me up. If i didnt wear headphones I probably couldnt lift when he is around.

They extra cool guy. He wears sunglasses while hes working out... dunno.

Of course.. The bench press crew.. yup.. there is one in every gym.

The hot chick.. oh yeah.. the old chick that things shes hot.. yup.. her too...

LEGS.. i think that nails half the people in my gym...

[Larry Kreeger]

We have a guy that does 1/4 reps with huge weights and thinks he's super strong. He also uses his whole body when doing curls but uses big weights

We have a trainer that has these women doing these really weird exercises. For example he has them take 2lb in each hand and hold it directly overhead while they squat maybe 6 inches for 10 reps. They never increase the weight or the range of motion.

Of course we have the teenage boys who go at random from one machine to another.

[Ricky]

I like this black guy that wears headphones and sings soulful R+B while he's on the machine doing cardio.

Every once in a while he will just start singing really loud. Which is funny because our gym doesn't play music.

BTW, I love the fact our gym is quiet. Because you don't have to hear that lame pop station that every place plays.

[kj2833]

I see no mention of "cable stretch armstrong" anywhere.

Our gay stretching guy spends ten minutes on each leg machine (mostly catching his breath from all that stretching) after his stretching bouts. one time my buddy wanted to use one of the machines so three of us snuck up behind him and formed a line. When he looked back he didnt know what in the world was going on. He stays on the cardio machines now.

[Skinny&Weak]

I once judged people by thier looks, this guy at my gym, spends half of his life there, almost everyday 6 hours. Bit of a phyco type, and its really quiet at the gym, I always thought he was unejucated meat loaf, but when I finally talked to the guy he turned up to be the nicest buy in the gym. I mean nice in decent way, not gay or anything. He gave me pointers, tips and we just chat about everyday stuff time to time. So I think before we misjudge people, entirely on thier looks or what they do, you should talk to them.

[Fletch]

Let's not forget the couples that come in and train together where the guy is huge and his girl is small and he's pretending to train her as if she was him.

My wife and I train together and even I know and understand that she trains for different goals than me.

the former pro wrestlers are fun to lift with because they are full of energy despite their form being incredibly sloppy.

The woman that spends 20 minutes on leg extension and resting on it between her sets of NO WEIGHT!!! :angry:

The 4 high school kids that gather around the barbell bench every Mon/Wed/Fri.

The entire gym that trains chest/bis on Monday from 5pm-6:30pm while I'm training legs.

My personal favorite character to loathe is the out of shape mid-30s aerobics instructor. I'm sorry but your image and setting a proper example is a job requirement imo.

- Fletch

[Azer]

Bah i have friends who are "the bench crew." I started working out very early in the morning so I would stop being bothered by them. I personally hate the bench press...yeah i said hate. I still do it, and supposidly alot of people like it, but i just cant stand it. I like dumbells more for my chest.


"The entire gym that trains chest/bis on Monday from 5pm-6:30pm while I'm training legs." - out of maybe 35-40 people in my gym today i was only one doing legs, got the squat rack without waiting and leg press and all leg machines.

How about the guy that does tricep extensions by letting the handles fly up above his head every rep and using his body to full it down.

[Q-dogg]

I live in Asheville NC, a really weired mixing pot of odd people. The gyms here have some strange people, people that I would love to tell people on these chats, but fear you want believe me. But this thread is perfect...........
I get all the gym gossip because I run a supplement shop in town. So here it is............

This one guy, who is dumber than a brick, has many tells. A few of the gym rats took advantage of how nieve and dumb he is and told him that birth control pill are highly anabolic, it was a joke. He took it serious, and in his quest to be the biggest and baddest, took six a day. Long story short, he grew breast and his test levels where so low that it took 6 month of weekly Dr visits to get him straight.
In another story, in his quest to be the biggest and baddest, he invited another gym rat to eat some post workout nutrition at KFC. The work is that this guy purchases and all you can eat buffet. Long story short, he damanded his money back when he ate all the chicken in the buffet and was told it would be 40minutes until some more was available.

Yes, this same guy somehow get into clubs on teen night ( he is like 30) and wears the all too fashionalbe spandex tank top and baggy lifting sweat bottoms. His pickup line is; "my legs are so big I cant buy regular jeans," well....if you call that a pickup line.

I have too many to tell, you people really would not believe some of the **** I hear.

[Snakepayne]

Originally posted by Q-dogg
I live in Asheville NC, a really weired mixing pot of odd people. The gyms here have some strange people, people that I would love to tell people on these chats, but fear you want believe me. But this thread is perfect...........
I get all the gym gossip because I run a supplement shop in town. So here it is............

This one guy, who is dumber than a brick, has many tells. A few of the gym rats took advantage of how nieve and dumb he is and told him that birth control pill are highly anabolic, it was a joke. He took it serious, and in his quest to be the biggest and baddest, took six a day. Long story short, he grew breast and his test levels where so low that it took 6 month of weekly Dr visits to get him straight.
In another story, in his quest to be the biggest and baddest, he invited another gym rat to eat some post workout nutrition at KFC. The work is that this guy purchases and all you can eat buffet. Long story short, he damanded his money back when he ate all the chicken in the buffet and was told it would be 40minutes until some more was available.

Yes, this same guy somehow get into clubs on teen night ( he is like 30) and wears the all too fashionalbe spandex tank top and baggy lifting sweat bottoms. His pickup line is; "my legs are so big I cant buy regular jeans," well....if you call that a pickup line.

I have too many to tell, you people really would not believe some of the **** I hear.

LMAO....if you can or want, post some more.

[aZiAN257]

This sh!t cracks me up guys!

C'mon, more stories !!

[BlueBoyJocks]

Ain't that so REAL?!! Besides those mentioned above, at my gym I also always spot a guy who always talks on his cell phone for at least 15-20 minutes between reps, a mid-age woman who dress-up like "Jennifer Beals-what a feeling" like with bandana and the same hair do....LOL.... and some guys who always "watch" me and when I look back they turn their heads away.... yikes!! Also this guy with nice build body who always has his bling-bling necklace on, guys in the middle age with beer belly hanging down doing bench press and dumbell for his biceps which already "big" but saggy.... rather than doing some cardio and watch their diet.... Mr.Show Off who knows he has a nice body and acts like a celebrity and feels everyone wants to ask for his signature...hahaha...dream on.... Do you guys have those types too at your gym?

[Q-dogg]

I will call this guys "Old School WWF," he tans, or uses some type of artifical tanner and has a beautiful orange glow, orange I say. He must be tan everywhere, except for the area around his eyes.....even his shaved head. He may appear to be your normal 40 something gym goer.....except when he trains he does nothing except isolation exercise. Boy does he look like the ****, expecially when he has on spandex tights that are so short I would be scared to put on as my cock would surely hang out the bottom. He has a black pair and a hot pink pair. His upper torso is covered in what appears to be a tight spandex muslce t-thirt, aka a brace for his gut, which is double wraped with a lifting belt. His suit really looks like a college wrestling suit, except it is a two piece deal. He even has a stylish earing daggling in his ear lobe. He even has the raspy wrestler's voice, though the only thing I think he can say is "How ya do'n" as he holds eye contact a little too long..........is he gay? I put 10$ on it!

I will think of more latter!

[slick_nick]

Niiiice thread.
Here's some more from my experiene of London gyms:

NOISY LIFTERS - the kind that throw around their weights/plates in the hope to draw attention to the fact that they can lift large. Failing that, they'll just spout a load of cod philosophy to one of their bemused friends.

CHATTERERS - these guys have the perfect bodies but all they seem to do is stand around gossiping, begging the question, how the hell did they get so big?! They will only go during peak gym periods as well.

SCRAWNSTERS - no matter how often these guys go to the gym, rest assured, they never get bigger.

BLOATERS - guys with high body fat that never do cardio, content instead to just lift weights and get even bigger.

THE OLD WOMAN WITH ONE LEG - well, perhaps this is just my gym...

[natinder24]

lol

[Orzza]

The nicknames in this thread are cracking me up. I'm getting a teardrop forming in my eye brah

[titomuheedo]

"The Creeper"
That guy that is ALWAYS in the locker room, just sitting there, reading a newspaper.

"The Gorillas"
Either one or a team of serious lifters who like to lift heavy as **** and let everyone know about it. When getting ready for heavy lifts they have their partner slap them a few times and yell. Or they just do it themselves. - I fall into this.

"That Guy"
That guy that always happens to catch your eye. Mainly because you're always the target of his.

I'll post more when I'm done eating.

[titomuheedo]

"The crossers"
Usually 2 or more crossfitters. They occupy the power/squat rack by doing cleans'n'jerks/powercleans and are commonly seen doing strange exercises with the excuse of becoming more fit. Also are usually the most talkative/social people in the gym, seem to be friends with everyone.

[Austere]

Strong 7 YEAR bump.

[ThePinsir]

-- edit --

wow. strong bump. n/m then...

[jbball92]

"The *******", this guy always comes into the gym in Sperry topsiders, cargo shorts and a Abercrombie polo

[Ion26]

I think we should also include, which gym character are we?

[Austere]

Tbh I think it may be a good thing that the OP wrote this before Jersey Shore existed, or this post may have turned into a 5000 word tirade.

[sy2502]

The aerobics instructor who comes up with the most ridiculous moves (lunge while lifting a pink dumbell over your head, then twist your body to one side, then slowly change from lunge to 1-legged deadlift while doing a biceps curl) for a group of out of shape women who not only can barely do any of those things, but are convinced that's THE secret move to a skinny and toned body.

[Coryh11]

Why are guys catching your eye bro??????

"the creeper"
that guy that is always in the locker room, just sitting there, reading a newspaper.

"the gorillas"
either one or a team of serious lifters who like to lift heavy as **** and let everyone know about it. When getting ready for heavy lifts they have their partner slap them a few times and yell. Or they just do it themselves. - i fall into this.
"that guy"
that guy that always happens to catch your eye. Mainly because you're always the target of his.

I'll post more when i'm done eating.

[ViKtoricus]

It's time to share mine!



* The guy who rarely squats... And does 135 pounds a fourth of the way down... And you actually see him struggle!

* The douchebag wannabe personal trainer who thinks that everything you do is not safe.


* The crossfit/P90X/circuit/complex guy.

* The strong-looking dude who can't lift as much as you.

* Old women (they all suck. It's rare to see one who actually does a good workout).

* The guy who practically tries everything he sees (squats, curls, leg presses, lunges, you name it.)

* People who never lift weights.

* The cardio bunnies.

* The fat cardio bunnies.

* The anorexic woman whom you don't wanna make fun of but get very tempted to.

* The fat chick who gets "trained" under a personal trainer but never lets her do anything right... ever.

* The Lee Haney with no legs.

* Curlers.

* Ultra-half squatters.

* The dumbbell clown that does these weird motions with the dumbbell without lifting it vertically.

* The almost-full squatters (they almost break parallel but don't. You get tempted to smack them and say "JUST ONE MORE INCH DUMBASS!!!!")

* The fat guy who reads bodybuilding magazines each and every set.

* The douchebags who claims you're using steroids because you are actually lifting something.

* The couple who both suck.

* The annoying manager who doesn't want you to drop the weights and yet he doesn't invest on a lifting platform.

* The annoying personal trainer you wanna punch in the face.

* The female personal trainer who trains her fellow female clients by gossiping with them.

* The "cable guy."

* The isolation guy.

* The fat guy who does uber-high reps.

* The clueless people who are wondering why you are bringing bands and chains.

* The clueless people who are wondering which bodypart power-cleans work.

* The ultra clueless people who wonder why you squat.

* The good-looking douchebag you wanna punch in the face because he is kind of strong and buff but he doesn't really do things right.



And a whole lot more.........

[Celtika]

* The group of youths who stand around the bench in a pack, bench their max rep once, and stand around it talking with each other
* The office workers who invest in full top of the range gear, and just jog lightly for 10 minutes then leave
* The people who spend 1 hour in the changing rooms/shower - and 10 minutes on the gym floor
* The fat sweaty man who refuses to towel off and wipe down the machines after use
* The newbie who just wanders around looking lost
* The powerlifter who walks in with gloves/belt/chalk...then lifts a petty amount
* The guy who is too busy making sure he looks good in his flashy gear to actually work out
* The people who just use the treadmill on a moderate walk pace...as if you can only do this in a gym

[sy2502]

This one at my gym if anyone can explain it to me I'd appreciate:

the 6ft7, 90lbs stringy bean-pole ectomorph who jumps rope between sets. Why?