A simple journal

[Scrabbz]

The walks are good - keep burning the calories. Looks like a solid work out bud!

Any goals by certain dates?

Thank you. Walking is about all I can do anymore. Long story short, I shattered my heel 6 months ago and have not been the same since. I'm not one to say, "woe is me," but the doctors were pretty adamant that I may be limping for a long time, maybe the rest of my life. Not that I will let it stop me from doing what I can.

As for goals, right now I don't have a major time frame for anything, or any real goal besides gain back some strength, get healthier and just try and be happy. Not that I am unhappy, but be happier.

Hi Garry.

Subbing along.

Fixed.

Welcome sir. Thank you for the fix. Was a long day that day. Work and such things started to get me down. But it is passed.

This weekend is no lifting. Just walks and cleaning the apartment. Week 2 next week.

[MagicStang]

Man that's brutal I'm sorry to hear it. My life has been complete **** recently but the gym has been such an amazing stress release. I need to follow my schedule though and take the rest days when scheduled even if I need the release

Hope you enjoyed the weekend and are ready to go hard

[Scrabbz]

Man that's brutal I'm sorry to hear it. My life has been complete **** recently but the gym has been such an amazing stress release. I need to follow my schedule though and take the rest days when scheduled even if I need the release

Hope you enjoyed the weekend and are ready to go hard

Muscles do no grow in the gym. Muscles grow by being broken down and then using proteins and amino acids mixed with enegery released from carbohydrates and fats to generate new and stronger tissue to adapt to the stress they are put under. In a nutshell. I could delve into the even deeper science of it all if you care: but rest days are when the actual strength is made. .
Don't get me wrong, they bore me too. But do some fun stuff. Go for a hike. A walk. Play Pokemon Go. Paint. Play videogames. .


7/18/2016

Squat
5x 45
5x 45
3x 95
3x 160
3x 180
3x+ 205 (10)
Bench
5x 45
5x 65
5x 75
5x 95
5x 105

Incline Bench
10x 85
10x 85
10x 85

SLDL
10x 135
10x 155
10x 155

GHR
10x 25
10x 25
10x 25

Squats were ok 205x10 is pretty sad in my book. But reps 7-10 were real grinders. Had to pause to catch my breath between 9 and 10. Knees kept caving a bit too.

Everything else was pretty standard. Bench felt light but not sure why.

Incline was tough reps 6 and up, almost failed rep 10 last set.

SLDL was fine.

GHP makes me lightheaded.

[MagicStang]

Killing it man. That's an insane amount of squats at that weight haha. How is your form?

I completely hear oh on rest days, the gym has just been my outlet for stress relief and in general my life is falling apart so I've needed a lot of relief lol.

[Scrabbz]

Killing it man. That's an insane amount of squats at that weight haha. How is your form?

Thank you. I guess for my size that is pretty decent. Form was fine until rep 9, then my knees started to cave a bit and I felt my core just not able to stay tight. No back rounding, but I was starting to do psuedo good mornings.

I completely hear oh on rest days, the gym has just been my outlet for stress relief and in general my life is falling apart so I've needed a lot of relief lol.

I hope everything starts to look up for you. Life can seem very dark at times, I know...

7/20/2016

Deadlift
5x 135
5x 135
3x 185
3x 195
3x 225
3x+ 250 (9)
3x 250

OHP
5x 45
5x 45
3x 45
3x 60
3x 70
3x+ 80 (10)

Dumbbell Curls
10x 20
10x 20
10x 20

Front Squats
10x 105
10x 105
10x 105

Weighted Decline Situps
10x 35
10x 35
10x 35

Today I must say I was not exactly feeling to great about deadlifts. For some reason, squats make me feel nervous as ever, and deadlifts just make me feel..down is about all I can say. At least until I start doing them. Granted, 9 on 250 isn't anything too spectacular. I wanted 10, but I couldn't keep my grip on the bar and felt my core giving out and back starting to round, so I called it there, and then took a extra rest and did another grindy triple.

OHP was actually decent. I was surprised I got the 10th rep, though I'm sure it was as slow looking and as sad as watching an old lady walk up a flight of stairs.

Front squats felt actually good. Not easy, but just right.

Curls are a pain, but it's the only way I can strengthen my arms back up.

Incline weigheted situps really left me gassed. But they were a good idea to try. I like them and will keep them I think.

As a side note: In case anyone was wondering, my accident resulted in my left humerus (upper arm bone) being split essentially from the shoulder to about halfway down to my elbow. My shoulder was also dislocated. At the same time, I shattered my right heel. All in all, resulted in two surgeries, a plate and 9 screws in my left arm, and 3 screws, a rod, and a coil in my heel. Just for a frame of reference, no pity party here. In case anyone was wondering why certain things seemed off.

Week 2 will close out on Friday with bench as the main lift. A bit excited to see how I'll do. Very tired now though...

[MagicStang]

Haha you make me feel guilty about my work outs. You complain about sets with an insane amount of reps.

I'm thinking about switching to German Volume Training for a bit, just try to bang out a ton of reps. I need to add in some core work in addition to the big 4/accessories.

I'm still astonished with the accident you had what you're able to do.

Keep up the great work bud.

[Scrabbz]

Haha you make me feel guilty about my work outs. You complain about sets with an insane amount of reps.

I'm thinking about switching to German Volume Training for a bit, just try to bang out a ton of reps. I need to add in some core work in addition to the big 4/accessories.

I'm still astonished with the accident you had what you're able to do.

Keep up the great work bud.

Oh I don't mean to make it sound like I am complaining...and I don't mean to make you feel bad...I just get a bit discouraged when I can't quite hit my goals.

I've never tried German volume training, but I have heard some nice things from others about it.

My accident is what it is. I'm damaged for life, but as I said, I am not letting it keep me down. It put a lot in perspective for me actually. Helped me see the world differently.

That said:

7/22/2015

Bench
5x 45
5x 45
3x 65
3x Supposed to be 85, was 95
3x Supposed to be 100, was 105
3x+ Supposed to be 115, was 125x(9)

Squat
5x 45
5x 95
5x 135
5x 145
9/10x175

Lat Pull Down
10x 110
10x 110
10x 110

Dips
10x BW
10x BW
10x BW

SLDL
10x 155
10x 155
10x 155

Bench felt very heavy today. I felt heavy in general on the way to the gym. Long day at work, things not working, etc. My warm up sets just felt meh. Once I got to the working set, song came on on my playlist that helped me get out the last grindy 9th rep. I felt pretty discouraged at that point, until I relooked over the weights and realized my error in math. Amazing to think I am a computer programmer and I end up always adding too much weight to at least one exercise per session *shrugs*.

Squats started off still feeling heavy, but once I got to 135, it felt like a switch flipped. Then when the 175 set came, I was only supposed to do 5 but chorus of the song "King" by Eluveitie came on and I just lost track of what was going on. My head just told me, "You keep squatting and chanting this chorus until it finishes."

Dips were decent. Grindy last reps, left arm started to hurt a bit.

SLDL felt solid. Nice pull on the hamstrings.

Pulldown was not so easy. Felt winded. Still winded.

Week 3 coming up. It shall be interesting.

[MagicStang]

Nah no worries man, just letting you know you're killing it - don't feel bad.

Impressed by that squat volume.

I think I'm going to take another week off of squats and deads as my leg is still kinda swollen and a little sore.

Overall another solid work out in!

[Scrabbz]

7/25/2016

Squat
5x 45
5x 95
3x 135
5x 179
3x 190
1x+ 215(9)
3x. 225

Bench
5x 45
5x 45
5x 95
5x 105
5x 105
5x 105

Incline Bench
10x 85
10x 85
10x 85

GHR
10x 35
10x 35
10x 35
SLDL
10x 155
10x 155
10x 155

First true week near a heavy squat for me on +1 day. I got 9 and 7-9 were real grinders. Started seeing stars on 9. I took a rest however and decided to try 2plate. It has been 3 years since I tried that. I was satisfied with a triple.

I cannot do math at all apparently and loaded bench higher than I was supposed to for working sets. I didnt seem to be thrown off by it though.

Incline was really hard every rep after 5.

SLDL felt good on my hamstrings. Very tight but good.

GHR was good as well.

I was very tired.

[mirroroferised]

Did a double take when I saw you post in the o35 Welcome back man!

[MagicStang]

Good to see you killing it on Squats, and even with the added weight on bench you crushed it!

How'd you feel after the squats?

Kill it bud!

[Scrabbz]

Did a double take when I saw you post in the o35 Welcome back man!

Thank you. Yes, I have returned. Very much different. A lot has changed since my 3 year hiatus. But I am here again to just lift weights.

Good to see you killing it on Squats, and even with the added weight on bench you crushed it!

How'd you feel after the squats?

Kill it bud!

Thank you.

100lbs doesn't seem like much in the grand scheme of things really, but I am happy knowing 6 months ago I couldn't lift the bar...

Squats on the other hand had me feeling pretty lightheaded after. I was happy with it, a bit discouraged I didn't get 10, but happy. I always get a little nervous on squat day and getting more than the prescribed reps is always a good feeling.

57/27/2015

Deadlift
5x 135
5x 135
3x 175
5x 210
3x 235
1x+ 265(8)
3x 265

OHP
5x 45
5x 45
3x 45
5x 65
3x 75
1x+ 80(10)

Barbell Curls
10x 45
10x 45
10x 45

Front Squats
10x 105
10x 105
10x 115

Weighted Decline Situps
10x 35
10x 35
10x 35

Deadlifts were done for 8 and then a triple. They felt heavy but not as bad as I had thought. Every rep was a fight, but it was good.

OHP I was surprised at the 1+ set. reps 8-10 however were very grindy, and 10 almost didn't lock out.

Front squats felt decent despite the heavy deadlifts, possibly because I did take longer rests than usual. I added 10lbs to them and I felt fine.

Weighted situps are difficult. I have a very weak core, so hopefully these will help.

[MagicStang]

Looks like a great work out. Solid weight and reps across the board.

I still hate front squats, they really threw me off last time. I need to get that form down.

You're coming back quick man! It's gotta feel good!

[Scrabbz]

Looks like a great work out. Solid weight and reps across the board.

I still hate front squats, they really threw me off last time. I need to get that form down.

You're coming back quick man! It's gotta feel good!

Thank you.

Front squats took me a little bit to get used to. I remember starting out with just 65lbs on the bar and hating it. It would always end up either choking me or I'd tip forward. But that is the upside to front squats, is that the help you learn to balance. It works on some of the more neglected minor muscles in my opinion. Plus, being able to do a little more volume with them is nice and still works the legs and core without doing so many back-squats it gets boring or monotonous.

8/29/2016
Final day of Week 3, Cycle 2

Bench
5x 45
5x 65
3x 95
5x 105
3x 115
1x+ 125(9)
4x 135

Squat
5x 45
5x 95
5x 135
5x 155
10x 175


Dips
10x BW
10x BW
10x BW

SLDL
10x 155
10x 155
10x 155

Lat Pull Down
10x 110
10x 110
10x 110


This was the last day of week 3 of the second cycle. This mean its was bench day. Bench has been one of my worst lifts of all time. I am not sure why, but it just has been.

Today felt a bit different though, ended up an hour late because of work (being a programmer for the government means when things break, you stay to fix them). But that is neither here nor there.

Started off feeling heavy, but the second warm-up set got the energy beginning to flow. Felt a bit nervous on the 3x115, because that felt a bit heavier than I thought it would. When I got to the 1+ set I locked out rep 8, which was a real grinder and paused for a few seconds before going for rep 9. The thought in my head was simple, "You can attempt this rep, and you can't fail...because you have no spotter." So that was the rational behind that. Probably not smart, but I didn't fail the rep.

After that, I took a little rest and part of me decided it was go big day (relatively speaking). I loaded up one plate and pushed out 4 reps. I possibly could have gotten 5, but again, no spotter and I had already done more than enough, at that point it would have simply been ego and I could have hurt myself.

Squats were pretty standard. I got 10 again on the last set because when the chorus of a good song comes on with my playlists, I really just can't help but lift with it.

Dips felt really easy for some reason on the first two sets. I don't know if it was because it was lighter compared the benching or if it was because I wasn't going deep enough or what have you, but thy didn't seem to hurt my arm as much. It could just be I am getting stronger, too.

SLDL felt ok. My left hamstring really tightened up on these to the point it hurt to walk a bit. I did all of the sets, but I held off trying to go heavier.

Lat-pull down, despite my adrenaline rush, was sub-par. I got all of the reps but it felt like I was trying to pull down a bear as opposed to something that weighs 10lbs more than my wife...thats a a sad thought.

Also a random musing: I know I mention quite a bit how I listen to music when I lift. For some reason, it seems to just help me.
With that said, I do spend part of the walk to the gym putting together a mental playlist of what songs to do when for which lifts, almost like a soundtrack. Each song has some pretty deep meaning to it and isn't really a "go wreck stuff" kind of song. Most of them tell some kind of story. Figured it be some fun reading for some
Here was this day's soundtrack, in order:
Song - Artist - Story
Orden Ogan + Ravenhead - Orden Ogan - About an "Order of Fear" (Orden Ogan) that lives in a town called Ravenhead, granting costly wishes (think sell your soul type stuff)
King - Eluveitie - About the legendary Gallic High King Ambicatus, who would have had one of the largest empires in history.
Deaf Among the Blind - Orden Ogan - Song about a group of people leading themselves to destruction because they can't see past their own opinions
Sorrow is Your Tale - Orden Ogan - Song about previous said people going to the Orden Ogan and their issues being resolved...at the cost of their happiness.
Sucellos - Eluveitie - Song about the Gallic god, Sucellos. Pretty epic, is more of prayer for strength and power.
Day of Strife - Eluveitie - A song about the tale of the beginning of the world in Celtic mythology.
Goi, Rode, Goi! - Arkona - Russian for Hail, Rod, Hail. A song about a warrior asking the Russian supreme god Rod for strength.
Nameless One - Elueveitie - Song asking and thanking the Nameless One, the Celtic god of everything, for life and strength.
Celtos - Eluevetie - Song about the first celt, Celtos, and his coming from the Celtic Otherworld.

Anyway, week is done. Calculating for next cycle and deload next week. I am partly happy for a deload, and partly sad. I like lifting big things up and down .

[MagicStang]

Good to see the bench jumping and great workout overall. I like the recap!

I usually listen to nonsense music I normally hate at the gym but it gets me pumped up.

I need to add dips into my routine.

[Scrabbz]

Good to see the bench jumping and great workout overall. I like the recap!

I usually listen to nonsense music I normally hate at the gym but it gets me pumped up.

I need to add dips into my routine.

Haha I kind of realize now I wrote a small novel on that session. I apologize.

Thank you for the support.

Dips and some bodyweight work are always favorites of mine. Unfortunately I can't really do pull ups or chin ups with my arm hurt the way it was. I should probably look into adding some pistol squats and push-ups though.

[MagicStang]

Don't apologize man, I think it's awesome. I'll probably try to mimic that style.

My body weight excercises still suck. I still have a lot to lose.

You ready to kill it on the next cycle?

[Scrabbz]

Don't apologize man, I think it's awesome. I'll probably try to mimic that style.

My body weight excercises still suck. I still have a lot to lose.

You ready to kill it on the next cycle?

Bodyweight exercises are tough. Always seem to be for me as well.

As for next cycle, the weights are going to be pushing PR territory for me at this point.

8/1/2016

Squat
5x 45
5x 45
3x 135
5x 145
5x 145
5x+ 155
Bench
5x 45
5x 45
5x 85
5x 85
5x 85

Incline Bench
10x 65
10x 65
10x 65

GHR
10x 35
10x 35
10x 35
SLDL
10x 135
10x 135
10x 135


Nothing really to report. It is a deload week. However, today I am feeling...very tired. Heavy and sore. Not sure why. I have a few hypothesis but nothing concrete.

[MagicStang]

Well the deload week is suppose to help you through the potential overload / being tired and sore right?

Hopefully it's just a few days of lighter loads and you'll be back to killing it full strength again.

[Scrabbz]

Well the deload week is suppose to help you through the potential overload / being tired and sore right?

Hopefully it's just a few days of lighter loads and you'll be back to killing it full strength again.

True, it is. But I'll address my theories on why I am feeling lower than usual as of late in a moment.

8/3/2016

Deadlift
5x 135
5x 135
3x 135
5x 135
5x 165
5x+ 175

OHP
5x 45
5x 45
3x 45
5x 65
5x 65
5x+ 75

Dumbbell Curl
10x 20
10x 20
10x 20

Front Squats
10x 75
10x 75
10x 75

Decline Situps
10x BW
10x BW
10x BW


Simple deload day. Nothing over the top. Just did my reps and got done. Focused on form. Went in tired, left feeling better.

I'm just going to take the time to address some things as well. This is my journal, and I figure I may be as transparent as possible.

With that said, let me make this perfectly clear about my next statements: I am not looking for pity. I am not looking for a shoulder to cry on. I don't want it,so don't bother.

I have fought depression since I was about 11 years old. I have battled an eating disorder in some form since I was 20. Both culminate and manifest in different ways. The depression makes me tired, makes me uncaring and makes me question why I even bother trying some days with lifting. It also makes me feel like I am a weak person in comparison to many others.

Now, the eating disorder makes me question my decisions in the gym and outside as well. I have difficulty eating enough. It also causes me to have some pretty dysmorphic views of myself. The biggest issue, however, is the eating part. When I undereat, I still go hard in the gym. Short term, this is no issue, but long term it takes its toll, obviously. Sometimes I can keep it in check, but as of late its getting rough. And I can feel it, hence the lethargy.

With the next cycle coming up, however, I am mentally trying to prepare myself to understand that I am reaching PR areas, and that I will not make them if I let my disorder hold me back. I may not move as quick as everyone else when it comes to weight lifting, but I will not stop either. I have made leaps and bounds from where I was, and I will not let myself slip too far behind again.

Funny edit, 655 OHP would be a world record I think.

[MagicStang]

Our challenges are what makes our victories that much sweeter.

Looking forward to watching you crush every PR!

[Scrabbz]

Took yesterday off for my younger brothers' birthdays.

Lifted today instead :
Bench Press:
45x5
45x5
65x3
75x5
75x5

Squat:
135x5
135x5
135x5
135x5
135x5

Dips:
10xBW
10xBW
10xBW

SLDL:
135x10
135x10
135x10

Lat-pull Down:
75x10
75x10
75x10

Nothing special.

Cycle 3 starts Monday.

[MagicStang]

Ready to crush it next week?!

[Scrabbz]

Ready to crush it next week?!

Ready is a very subjective term.

If by ready you mean sitting here on break at work staring at my workout spread sheet saying "215lbs Squat for a minimum of 9," over and over in my head and slightly freaking out, then I am ready, sure.

[Scrabbz]

8/8/2016

Squat
5 × 105
5 × 115
3 × 155
5 × 165
5 × 190
5+ × 215(11)

Bench press
5x 45
5x 65
5 × 85
5 × 95
10× 105

Incline Bench
10x 85
10x 85
10x 85

SLDL
10x 150
10x 150
10x 150

GHR
10x 35
10x 35
10x 35

Brutal day. Long day at work, wife was stressed, so was I. Got to the gym and didn't even put my headphones in. I was just angry with the bar.

Warm ups felt meh on squat. Work set one was OK. Work set 2 clicked. 5+ set, got to rep 5, took a 2 second pause and let myself know I could get 9 like last time at this weight. At rep 7 I almost lost it, my core weakened and almost had to bail. I managed to lockout and took another few seconds to gain my composure. Told myself I only needed two more easy reps to meet my last goal. Reps 8 and 9 were hard. Rep 10 felt really heavy. Rep 11 had me seeing stars and red in the face and barely breathing. Racked it there. But I beat last time.

Adrenaline was high on bench. Didn't feel like stopping at 5 on the last set.

Incline got pretty heavy on set 3. Almost didn't finish.

SLDL feels decent except for my left hamstring. I want to say it feels like it is tearing, but not quite that much pain. More of a very burning pull. Not sure why.

GHR had me lightheaded after every set.

Spent another half an hour after the gym walking around looking for Pokemon. I am a nerd.

[Scrabbz]

8/10/2016

Deadlift
5x 135
5x 155
3x 190
5x 205
5x 235
5x+ 265 (11)

OHP
5x 45
5x 55
3x 65
5x 70
5x 80
5x+(6)90

Dumbbell Curls
9x 25
10x 20
10x 20

Front Squats
10x 125
10x 125
10x 125

Weighted Decline Situps
10x 40
10x 40
10x 40


Another day in the gym. Deadlift started off feeling heavy. Didn't know what to expect. 205 work set, felt good then. 235 work set felt heavy and my left hand kept slipping. Mentally prepped myself for the 265 set. Got halfway up rep 1 and my left hand slipped. Dropped it. The bar had no grip to it whatsoever. I was a bit upset. Man who sees me in the gym often comes over and offers me his straps for the set. Put them on and tried again. Got to 11, may have had one more in the tank, but decided 11 was good. I believe Wendler himself said once that leaving one more left was a smart idea.

OHP was not as good. But I come to realize after that these were my 3+ numbers. So, as disappointed as I feel, it is slightly less so. I tried for a 7th rep on the workset, but I couldn't get past halfway. I don't know if the deadlifts had me gasses or if I am seriously just that bad.

Front squats next, added 10lbs. Huge difference. They were hard.

Added 5lbs to the incline sit ups. Again, made them that much harder.

Curls, I tired adding 5lbs, but my form was sloppy and I couldn't do a 10th rep. Dropped the weight back down.

An ok day I'd say. Could be worse; could have not gone at all.

[Scrabbz]

8/12/2016

End of Week 1 Cycle 3

bench press
5 × 60
5 × 70
3 × 85
5 × 90
5 × 105
5+(9) × 120

Squat
5 × 140
5 × 165
5 × 195

Dips
10x BW
10x BW
9x BW

Lunges
Nox105

SLDL
10x 155
10x 155
10x 155

Lat-Pull Down
10x 120
10x 120
10x 120

Got into the gym about an hour later than usual. It was empty. Bench warmups felt good. Final workset I just lost momentum after rep 6. 7,8,9 were grinders and I had a thought to try for 10 but knew it wasn't going to happen.

Squats felt good. I made some good connections and cues with my movements. Doing the low bar squat I do, I notice that if I try to keep my back too upright, it causes too much strain out of the hole. By letting my hips bend more, I can engage my legs more for a much more explosive push.

Dips felt decent until the last set. I don't know if I did not rest enough or if the other two exercises had me tired out. I could not get rep 10.

I tried to set up for lunges but as soon as I went to do a lunge with my right leg bracing, my heel that was shattered just flared up. I decided it was not worth the risk.

SLDL felt ok, but the pulling on my left hamstring was still there.

Lat pull down first set felt too easy, so I added 10lbs. I will work from here.

[Scrabbz]

8/15/2016

Squats:
5x105
5x135
3x155
3X195
3x205
3+(7) 230
1x250

Bench
5x65
5x65
5x85
5x95
10x105

SLDL
10x155
10x155
10x155

Incline Bench
10x85
10x85
10x85

GHR:
10x40
10x40
10x40

250 is my PR on squats. 2 years ago. That is all.

[Scrabbz]

8/17/2016

Deadlift:
5x135
5x155
3x195
3x205
3x250
6x280

OHP
5x45
5x55
3x65
3x75
3x85
6x90

Front Squats
10x125
10x125
10x125

Decline Weighted Situps
10x45
10x45
10x45

Dumbbell Curls
10x20
10x20
10x20

Could have gotten more deadlift reps. Left hand grip is not there. I believe from the surgery. Straps will help.

That's all. Should have been better. Was not.

[Scrabbz]

8/19/2016

Bench Press
5x65
5x75
3x85
3x105
3x115
3+(7)x125

Squats
5x95
5x135
5x145
5x165
5x195

Dips
10xBW
10xBW
10xBW

SLDL
10x155
10x155
10x155

Lat Pull Down
10x120
10x120
10x120

Leaving for beach, so moved tomorrow to today.

Bench was a surprise. Did not expect 7.

Squats felt heavy. Maybe because of deadlifts yesterday.

Better dips today.

SLDL did not hurt as much.

Lat Pull Down was tough. Good weight to stay at.

Interesting happening: used handheld bodyfat analyzer. Not very accurate I know. But tried it 3 times. It gave error 4 every time. Means it cannot detect a bodyfat level above 10%. Don't understand, as I have no visible abs.