Old and little creaky, my accountability log, the journey continues

[EjnarKolinkar]

IKWYM about how the "How the heck did I get all this stuff?"

You're deadlifting, rowing, pressing n stuff so nobody can really have any beef with program. You can do a lot worse than 2 day a week a week BP/row, DL, step up. I mean that should keep you strong while life marches on. It's always better to do something IMO.

[phoenix4444]

Maybe you could alternate squats and deadlifts on your lower day? I dunno, I make everything up as I go and something always hurts so maybe don't listen to me. I am mad impressed with your last lift day, especially on that deficit. STRONG WOMAN.

Alternating deads and squats is a valid option. I would have to change up my accessories a bit. We will see about the volume for the last day. A lot less weight will be used so may be doable for me. I may have to cut back on the sets.

IKWYM about how the "How the heck did I get all this stuff?"

You're deadlifting, rowing, pressing n stuff so nobody can really have any beef with program. You can do a lot worse than 2 day a week a week BP/row, DL, step up. I mean that should keep you strong while life marches on. It's always better to do something IMO.

God the stuff. This busines was my home away from home so I have crap stashed all over gd place. Doesn't help that I am a pack rat. But you never know when you might need some random crap. But really you never, ever need or use said item, throw it out.

Tried to cover all bases with plenty of pulls with some shoulder rehab stuff. My body does like two days a week. My old joints have a hard time keeping up with more than that.

[phoenix4444]

Yesterdays stuff

Calories around 3000, yeah I went there

Too lazy to write everything down. I was good until lunch then donuts were my downfall. The day fell into anger and frustration and that is a most dangerous state of mind when I am trying to diet. Anyway, instead of dwelling on the calorie count just moving on. Still pisses me off that I go there. Two more working weeks left, don't know if I can make it without totally losing my mind.

And on a separate note, I cannot believe how bloody sore my legs and arse is from my. Walking funny all damn day. Punishment for lifting so inconsistently.

[anandagirl]

You're doing so awesome girl! I know the feeling with the stuff. I read the Marie Kondo decluttering book and it's helping me, I'm certainly not really there yet, but it did help me dump a bunch of stuff!

[phoenix4444]

You're doing so awesome girl! I know the feeling with the stuff. I read the Marie Kondo decluttering book and it's helping me, I'm certainly not really there yet, but it did help me dump a bunch of stuff!

Declutter both stuff and brain. On my month off I intend to go throgh my house like a madwoman organizing and throwing stuff out.

[JustBulk]

the journey continues....enjoy your weekend!

[phoenix4444]

Yesterday's stuff

Calories 1244
Macros, pitifully low on protein

1-turkey sandwich on wheat, tomato, mayo

2-bagel with cream cheese

3-waffle

six cups coffee with milk


Not very a very good nutrition day, protein was like 40 grams. Just wasn't with it. Legs feel mucho better today.

[Partyrocking]

I need to do a major decluttering as well. Keep up the good work.

[phoenix4444]

I need to do a major decluttering as well. Keep up the good work.

Lets all throw useless stuff away to start the new year off right.

[phoenix4444]

Look what I just made



And lunch

[shesprints]

Aw hun. Hang in there.

I don't mean to be the one who's all tough-love up in here, but I do see a bad pattern repeating itself of starve/binge with you. If it were me, I would way rather try to set up a way of eating that I could keep up forever, rather than crash diet. The tiny boost in weight loss you get from a few weeks isn't worth the psychological effects, not to mention the physiological push toward rebound binging. And eating just cookies for lunch does not seem optimal, imho. I would love to see you eating a diet of primarily whole foods but more calories, so you weren't so hungry and driven to binge. But again, I will stop preaching now. I just want you to be happy.

You going to start the new workout plan soon?

[phoenix4444]

Aw hun. Hang in there.

I don't mean to be the one who's all tough-love up in here, but I do see a bad pattern repeating itself of starve/binge with you. If it were me, I would way rather try to set up a way of eating that I could keep up forever, rather than crash diet. The tiny boost in weight loss you get from a few weeks isn't worth the psychological effects, not to mention the physiological push toward rebound binging. And eating just cookies for lunch does not seem optimal, imho. I would love to see you eating a diet of primarily whole foods but more calories, so you weren't so hungry and driven to binge. But again, I will stop preaching now. I just want you to be happy.

You going to start the new workout plan soon?

I get what you are saying. I am just so incredibly frustrated at the amount of weight I gained this year and my inability to take any sort of control of the situation. Its not even about being hungry right now, appetite has been small. Yes, 800 calories was not reasonable response. I talked myself right in to that plan, rationalized all out and it made sense, for a few days. Then I came to my senses. 1200-1300 calories is what I think it's going to take for me to start losing. I figure my maintenance to be 1700-1800 and low activity now a days. And yes, spending said calories on mostly whole food would be wise on my part.

This year has pretty much been s**t. I am sure I will be a much happier and stable person once I am out of this business. Even though I will have no job and am in debt up eye holes.

The cookie wasn't really my lunch, I was just playing. I was determined to fit one cookie in today. This was my real lunch.



Probably will start up the new routine next week. I am going to test my max bench and deadlift this week-end. I am sure I lost quite a bit off my lifts in my hiatus. At least it feels like that.

[anandagirl]

I need to do a major decluttering as well. Keep up the good work.

Lets all throw useless stuff away to start the new year off right.

YES!!!! I might actually have time to do it when January gets here LOL

I get what you are saying. I am just so incredibly frustrated at the amount of weight I gained this year and my inability to take any sort of control of the situation. Its not even about being hungry right now, appetite has been small. Yes, 800 calories was not reasonable response. I talked myself right in to that plan, rationalized all out and it made sense, for a few days. Then I came to my senses. 1200-1300 calories is what I think it's going to take for me to start losing. I figure my maintenance to be 1700-1800 and low activity now a days. And yes, spending said calories on mostly whole food would be wise on my part.

(((HUGS))) It's excruciating when it's so slow. I also feel like the weight needs to go NOW!

[phoenix4444]

^^^

All that so true.

I suck at patience.

[NoCarbsNoSugar]

that looks great

[phoenix4444]

Weeks average 1702, so essentially maintenance. Estimated calories on Saturday and Sunday at both 2000. Saturday was three turkey sandwiches and reesce's. Sunday was egg and potato scramble, a hershey bar, bowl of pasta and sausage. Nutritionally a bit of a fail but kept the stress eating in line.

Having trouble with energy the last few days, the old period hit unexpectedly and kind of threw me off kilter. Sleep has been poor. So functionality today at 60%. Also we got our first real snow of the season Got about a foot of that nice lake effect snow. Shoot I would not have gotten out of my driveway this morning if not for my Jeep. God bless four wheel drive.

[LunaLifts]

This year has pretty much been s**t.

2016 has been rough on just about everyone, I don't think anyone is saying "oh 2016 was great to me! best year of my life!" lol. I occasionally rewatch the John Oliver F*ck 2016 clip just to feel better that it's almost over. I agree that finding a good healthy balance is important. You know me, I'm far from the eat clean bandwagon, but maybe that'd help? Instead to trying to regain a sense of control through low calories, just choose "heathier" calories for awhile. Of course I don't mean chicken and broccoli either, just avoiding the "junk" stuff for a week or two to get you in a better mindset. I know not every calorie needs to be bro-diet stuff, but eating more meats, eggs, veggies, fruits, and whole grains makes me "feel" like I'm making solid, healthy choices, and puts me in a good mood regarding food and just in general.

I know, its not a method that works for everyone, just speaking from my own experience, and thought it may help. Especially as someone who struggles with overeating too.

That John Oliver clip for anyone who wants to hear it:

[NoCarbsNoSugar]

It snowed here as well.
It's pretty bad.
I don't have a 4X4 but I have a stick-shift, so that helps.

[shesprints]

I AM on the whole foods bandwagon, so you already know what I think--mostly, that it helps me stay fuller longer and helps me get rid of my food guilt and trust my appetite. Plus you're such a great cook, surely the food you could prepare from scratch is better than all the processed stuff anyway? And OMG, like a POUND of cantaloupe is only 150 calories, how is that not amazing???

As for patience, I'm not a particularly patient person either--see my angsting about agents not getting back to me yet. But I will say that it helps a heckuva lot not to be on a diet that has me suffering horribly in a physiological sense.

Also I think you should do some cardio a. to pump up your calorie burn and b. to relieve STRESS. Maybe even just long walks. I get super broody and grim if I don't move. Like today is my rest day and already, I'm in a funk.

[phoenix4444]

that looks great

It was a good satisfying meal.

It snowed here as well.
It's pretty bad.
I don't have a 4X4 but I have a stick-shift, so that helps.

it was bound to happen sooner or later. A manual transmission indeed helps alot. Gotta love that ability to downshift on the fly.

2016 has been rough on just about everyone, I don't think anyone is saying "oh 2016 was great to me! best year of my life!" lol. I occasionally rewatch the John Oliver F*ck 2016 clip just to feel better that it's almost over. I agree that finding a good healthy balance is important. You know me, I'm far from the eat clean bandwagon, but maybe that'd help? Instead to trying to regain a sense of control through low calories, just choose "heathier" calories for awhile. Of course I don't mean chicken and broccoli either, just avoiding the "junk" stuff for a week or two to get you in a better mindset. I know not every calorie needs to be bro-diet stuff, but eating more meats, eggs, veggies, fruits, and whole grains makes me "feel" like I'm making solid, healthy choices, and puts me in a good mood regarding food and just in general.

I know, its not a method that works for everyone, just speaking from my own experience, and thought it may help. Especially as someone who struggles with overeating too.

That John Oliver clip for anyone who wants to hear it:

I do need to clean up my diet. It seems that even one reece's sends me into an overdrive state which blows my day. yep I should be focusing control on eating better, not poverty dieting. You hit the nail on the head with that sentence.

That John Oliver clip is wonderful. I think I need to book mark that vid.

I AM on the whole foods bandwagon, so you already know what I think--mostly, that it helps me stay fuller longer and helps me get rid of my food guilt and trust my appetite. Plus you're such a great cook, surely the food you could prepare from scratch is better than all the processed stuff anyway? And OMG, like a POUND of cantaloupe is only 150 calories, how is that not amazing???

As for patience, I'm not a particularly patient person either--see my angsting about agents not getting back to me yet. But I will say that it helps a heckuva lot not to be on a diet that has me suffering horribly in a physiological sense.

Also I think you should do some cardio a. to pump up your calorie burn and b. to relieve STRESS. Maybe even just long walks. I get super broody and grim if I don't move. Like today is my rest day and already, I'm in a funk.

I am having such a difficult time getting back into the better eats. I was perusing my old food photos, I Just used to eat so much better and actually made an effort to do so. What happened to me? I really am at a loss. Yep I can cook way better options than the processed foods that I have been eating. I have fallen into the trap of easy, convenient meals.

Yeah stress and dieting hard just don't really go together. But damn I cannot allow myself to get any fatter. I am in such a confused state all the time with the business crap and my inability to handle life in general right now. Maybe I just need to find a sane spot and stay for a bit.

I am closing up shop for the day early, snow and no business. Instead of turning on my electric blanket and larding in my chaise to game I will make an effort to get some treadmill time in.

[phoenix4444]

So feeling a bit more positive today. I am running hot and always feel better and have better energy when the hot spells come. So going to start packing up some stuff at the restaurant and hauling it home on my afternoon break. So much stuff to get through and I cannot wait until the last minute. I would like to be out of here by the 23rd. Next week I will only be opened until 3 so I can accomplish this task. The longer I wait the more it will drive me crazy. I already feel I am half way to the loony bin and closure on this cannot come quick enough.

So I have come to the realization that I can't focus at all on any other thing which includes any diet or exercise. I mean I still will attempt to get some lifting and cardio in and pay and eye to my diet but I know I am not going to n]be less than perfect for the next couple of weeks. I will still log because it does help me stay somewhat stable.

[NoCarbsNoSugar]

Hi Phoenix.
Best of luck with the move and all the changes.

I am in the middle of a Winter Cut, and my plans were ruined by a nasty cold... nothing like what you are going through, I know! Just sayin' though...

My point is that you should be ok with prioritizing the items on your "plate" so to speak.
You can always get back to a more structured exercise/diet regime a bit later.

Don't feel bad for one second!

[phoenix4444]

Hi Phoenix.
Best of luck with the move and all the changes.

I am in the middle of a Winter Cut, and my plans were ruined by a nasty cold... nothing like what you are going through, I know! Just sayin' though...

My point is that you should be ok with prioritizing the items on your "plate" so to speak.
You can always get back to a more structured exercise/diet regime a bit later.

Don't feel bad for one second!

Hopefully change for the better. Mid life crises at 49, a bit late.

Cold, bummer at that. Hard to be in a deficit when sick. Body has a hard time healing without proper calories. We both will be up and running again in no time.

Yeah different priorities trump right now, my brain can't focus on too many things. I think part of my anxiety comes form the lack of structure. Hoping come the new year to put a little more of that structure back in my life.

Thank-you for all the support you have giving me theses past years, it has really meant a lot to me.

[phoenix4444]

Lunch, I have a thing with potatoes lately.

[FallenAngel80]

Mmm, food porn

It sounds like you just need to focus on one thing right now, and once your head is clear that will allow other things in. You can do it

[viccles007]

Mmm, food porn

It sounds like you just need to focus on one thing right now, and once your head is clear that will allow other things in. You can do it

Agree with all of this

[LunaLifts]

I agree with FA too, once you get this stuff done you can focus more on diet, and exercise with much less stress. Trying to juggle so much can be difficult, and just make everything take longer, as opposed to clearing one thing, and moving to the next.

[phoenix4444]

Yep need to focus on one thing right now. My brain has been overmaxed for so long, need to filter stuff out one by one. Still frustrating though. I have always thought of myself as being superwoman, yeah a legend in my own mind. Holding myself up to expectations that I cannot accomplish. Reality is somewhat different and that fact stings a bit.

[shesprints]

BRUH. We allllll deal with that. Fitting our reality to our expectations is quite a task, given that we are humans with boundless imaginations but live in this narrow corridor of here-and-now. I don't know a single person who's precisely satisfied with their circumstances.

That said, I still think you'll feel better if you eat mostly whole foods even if you take a break from counting, and cook yourself some nice things, I think it'll help your mood, even if you're focused on other stuff! You know me I don't blow smoke, just want the best for you. <3

[phoenix4444]

BRUH. We allllll deal with that. Fitting our reality to our expectations is quite a task, given that we are humans with boundless imaginations but live in this narrow corridor of here-and-now. I don't know a single person who's precisely satisfied with their circumstances.

That said, I still think you'll feel better if you eat mostly whole foods even if you take a break from counting, and cook yourself some nice things, I think it'll help your mood, even if you're focused on other stuff! You know me I don't blow smoke, just want the best for you. <3

But I want to be superwoman. Having exceptions for oneself is better than having none. I just need a reality check knocked into my hard head.

As far as meals go, yes I need to do better. It seems that I have lost all passion for cooking. This business has kind of wrecked me, my love for food has become somewhat diminished. I used get such joy in cooking good and interesting meals. I am hoping to get that love back again. I have to say I saw that you made risotto the other day and that piqued my interest. Hm, maybe I will make me some fresh pasta today if I have time.