I love all the excuses girls use on Tinder/Bumble

[Luc1fer]

Dont waste your time and ask them out early on. Write them: I dont wanna waste your time lets grab coffee and get to know each other that way.

No games, no excuses, no time wasted. Ive been able to weed out the time wasters effectively that way.

This.

That's not a bad strategy, but I understand why some women would want to talk to you for a bit first before meeting with you. After all you are a complete stranger and are bigger and stronger than her and you can hurt her or otherwise put her in an unwanted situation. There is nothing wrong with them screening you for a bit first. But that approach seems to feed into their warped idea of reality that it's somehow a good idea to simply yap away endlessly with no intention of meeting.

Ultimately I am in your camp. But if you match with someone who you think would be a good catch then I'm willing to talk a bit first.

A handful of messages, maybe 3-5 is enough to establish you're not a creep. There is literally no point in wasting time after that, the only way to establish compatibility is in person. Also, some other guy is pushing for a meet sooner, and if he captures her interest.. guess what, you're getting ghosted.

You will save yourself a lot of time and frustration if you get to the point quicker. A girl I talked to recently said she couldn't meet until like 10 days in the future, well there's no chance I'm gonna keep messaging her for 10 days lol - will send her a message in a couple weeks if I remember. That's an eternity on these apps, I treat it like she's completely gone.

[Charlemayne]

A handful of messages, maybe 3-5 is enough to establish you're not a creep. There is literally no point in wasting time after that, the only way to establish compatibility is in person. Also, some other guy is pushing for a meet sooner, and if he captures her interest.. guess what, you're getting ghosted.

You will save yourself a lot of time and frustration if you get to the point quicker. A girl I talked to recently said she couldn't meet until like 10 days in the future, well there's no chance I'm gonna keep messaging her for 10 days lol - will send her a message in a couple weeks if I remember. That's an eternity on these apps, I treat it like she's completely gone.

Not all women are the same though. I have met people who told me they found their bf/gf online and that they chatted for weeks before finally meeting in person. I don't think it's that uncommon.

I totally get the approach where you cut right to the chase and see whose interested and serious right away. But you can't honestly believe that there aren't conservative and modest girls who just want to talk for a bit until they feel comfortable enough with you. Idk man, patience is a virtue. When I match, screen, and immediately filter out girls who don't express interest I feel like I'm going 100mph and passing up opportunities. Who knows, maybe she doesn't intend to meet but then changes her mind.

I agree that it's generally a good rule of thumb to cut to the chase and filter out those who aren't serious, but I also think its ok to make exceptions when you feel like it and you shouldn't feel like a fool for doing so.

[Luc1fer]

Not all women are the same though. I have met people who told me they found their bf/gf online and that they chatted for weeks before finally meeting in person. I don't think it's that uncommon.

I totally get the approach where you cut right to the chase and see whose interested and serious right away. But you can't honestly believe that there aren't conservative and modest girls who just want to talk for a bit until they feel comfortable enough with you. Idk man, patience is a virtue. When I match, screen, and immediately filter out girls who don't express interest I feel like I'm going 100mph and passing up opportunities. Who knows, maybe she doesn't intend to meet but then changes her mind.

I agree that it's generally a good rule of thumb to cut to the chase and filter out those who aren't serious, but I also think its ok to make exceptions when you feel like it and you shouldn't feel like a fool for doing so.

Cost/benefit dude. Finding some exceptions does not change the equation.

If you wanna keep messaging for ages, that's your own prerogative, but then you need to also stop complaining about flaking/ghosting after investing the time.

[CherryPopinski]

So many feels in this thread.

[FastBack6]

Cost/benefit dude. Finding some exceptions does not change the equation.

If you wanna keep messaging for ages, that's your own prerogative, but then you need to also stop complaining about flaking/ghosting after investing the time.

Yep. Any girl from online dating is a **** and chuck, for the right dude of course. If she’s wont meet up with you that night or the very next day you’re wasting your time.

I aim to convert chatting to a meetup in 10 messages or less. If she’s not down it just means she’s not down with you. You think she’d give Ryan Reynolds the “once the bra is off the night is over and I can’t meet you” excuse? Yea right. 10 messages. Meet up or next. That’s my game now.

(I just got that “bra off, night over” excuse 5 minutes ago) They’ll say anything to keep you on for attention but not to take action. Deleted. Blocked. Next.

[FawkinJuicy]

I wouldn't have high expectations when it comes to online dating. Go out, meet people in person

This.

[HoustonMiscer]

^^ lol wow, although I think you are a dik for not responding to plans. She should next you for sure.

i would agree. after she sent that "i didn't hear from you so i just passed out" text it's on her. if it was a dude that did that cringy **** no one would think twice before putting him on blast.

[Jroc2017]

They literally stopped talking to you because you didn't ask them out and you were probably boring them.

1.) Match
2.) Within 24 hours: Banter/set the hook
3.) Within 48 hours: Banter / Flirt Ask them out a make plans for to do something 4-5 days later
4.) Continue chatting / banter / flirt (try to find common ground while being interesting)
5.) 2 days until date: confirm date / banter / flirt
6.) 24 hours until date: FLIRT / Tell them how excited your are the finally meet.
7.) Go on date.

i mean sounds like you got a lot of time on your hands but maybe this is the way to go about it

[maciejmuta]

Yeah, that's how it goes, online or in real life. It would be great if the sloot would just be honest and say "I got cold feet and don't want to meet you anymore" or "I didn't actually want to go out with anyone, just doing this for self-esteem reasons." You would think that most guys would respect her much more and say "OK, have a nice day."

Bishes have this idea that we they just lie and throw in the bonus lie of saying "sorry, [insert excuse]" is better then just being honest. Oh well

[pondus_levo]

i mean sounds like you got a lot of time on your hands but maybe this is the way to go about it

Steps 1-7 takes at most 60 minutes of your time over the course of the week. It takes so little effort, that you should be doing the exact same thing to 4 other chicks at the same time. Lay the groundwork and your date will be 10x better than if you didn't. If you do it right, she's already thinking about hooking up with you on your first date.

Most quality dudes are not gonna text a girl for weeks before meeting her. They will meet the chick and assess if she’s worth investing into. If you text her for a week or two youve invested a lot of energy into her. What happens if she flakes or you guys don’t click? That’s time wasted and energy wasted on chicks that had no intentions of meeting you. I knew one chick who wanted me to wait a week before seeing her. She kept making excuses after the week passed by and after a while I saw her with another guy. Its just excuses. It might work sometimes but thats the exception.

People in the 60’s didn’t text for weeks, they went on multiple dates a week.

If she says no in the first few texts, she’s not gonna say yes after 50 or 100 messages. You’re wasting your time with that mindset. Youre not missing out on anything if she says no when you ask her out in the first few texts. Theres thousands of girls out there.

To conclude, my family is full of conservative cousins and friends. They all prefer a guy that is direct and that doesn’t waste their time with useless texting. Girls that know what they want, want a dude that will be direct with them.

If you can't keep a chick interested for a week, how are you going to keep her interested for the rest of her life?

I have never had a chick not want to meet me after a few days of texting. If it doesn't click, it's usually within the first few msgs.

If you are texting a woman for an extended period of time and she decides she doesn't want to meet you or ghosts, she was giving you negative IOI's long before that point and you didn't pick up on it.

[Charlemayne]

Steps 1-7 takes at most 60 minutes of your time over the course of the week. It takes so little effort, that you should be doing the exact same thing to 4 other chicks at the same time. Lay the groundwork and your date will be 10x better than if you didn't. If you do it right, she's already thinking about hooking up with you on your first date.




If you can't keep a chick interested for a week, how are you going to keep her interested for the rest of her life?

I have never had a chick not want to meet me after a few days of texting. If it doesn't click, it's usually within the first few msgs.

If you are texting a woman for an extended period of time and she decides she doesn't want to meet you or ghosts, she was giving you negative IOI's long before that point and you didn't pick up on it.

Can you post examples of your text convos?

[skinnyfat88]

Cost/benefit dude. Finding some exceptions does not change the equation.

If you wanna keep messaging for ages, that's your own prerogative, but then you need to also stop complaining about flaking/ghosting after investing the time.

This makes a lot of sense.

There are exceptions to every rule but by when you don't follow the rules and waste time and effort accordingly, it's partly your own fault for not following the rules in the first place.

For the record, the 2 girls I met off bumble (both quality women) took quite some time to respond to messages (usually no more than 2 messages per day, and sometimes took a few days to respond) so I matched their frequency and put effort into the messages (pretty quickly became multiple sentences per message) and it took 2+ weeks to establish an in person meeting. One was a single mom who was just toying with getting back into dating about 8 months after her engagement ended (didn't work out and despite the single-mom stigma's I thought she was solid) and the other had some walls up when it came to dating and really didn't prioritize it much but was actually quite social and outgoing and it moved slow but we ended up dating and have been going strong for ~9 months now.

These might be "exceptions" to the rule but I will say I never invested much into either of them early on and kept being open to meeting other women as well until things finally turned more serious with the 2nd one after ~6 dates or so. As much as people don't like the thought of dating multiple people at once, for some it helps keep them grounded so they don't get too pushy/needy trying to ramp things up with any one woman. Just important to at the same time recognize when it's time to end things with others and focus on one if you think they're someone with whom a legit relationship might be worth pursuing.

[ChristineMN]

Yep. Any girl from online dating is a **** and chuck, for the right dude of course. If she’s wont meet up with you that night or the very next day you’re wasting your time.

I aim to convert chatting to a meetup in 10 messages or less. If she’s not down it just means she’s not down with you. You think she’d give Ryan Reynolds the “once the bra is off the night is over and I can’t meet you” excuse? Yea right. 10 messages. Meet up or next. That’s my game now.

(I just got that “bra off, night over” excuse 5 minutes ago) They’ll say anything to keep you on for attention but not to take action. Deleted. Blocked. Next.

...

So do you just match with someone and expect to meet them that night?

Holy chit that is sketchy af. That's how you get murdered.

Get a hooker then? Sounds like OP wants to actually date and not just bang, though maybe I read that wrong.

[otakutrevan]

They literally stopped talking to you because you didn't ask them out and you were probably boring them.

1.) Match
2.) Within 24 hours: Banter/set the hook
3.) Within 48 hours: Banter / Flirt Ask them out a make plans for to do something 4-5 days later
4.) Continue chatting / banter / flirt (try to find common ground while being interesting)
5.) 2 days until date: confirm date / banter / flirt
6.) 24 hours until date: FLIRT / Tell them how excited your are the finally meet.
7.) Go on date.

what happens when they never message first ?

[pondus_levo]

what happens when they never message first ?

Very few women msg me first anymore.

[Charlemayne]

Very few women msg me first anymore.

I really want to see your text convos bro. Not that I doubt you I just want to see how it's done.

[otakutrevan]

Very few women msg me first anymore.

rip

[Luc1fer]

Very few women msg me first anymore.

Women rarely message first. It happens, but usually it's either a really weak opener (if the girl is reasonably cute), or a decent opener from a women that's unattractive. I guess you don't match with women you find unattractive though due to your careful selection.

Women that are attractive simply just don't have to bother opening. And won't unless you really stand out to her.

[GhenghisPWN]

Online dating is super low investment so don’t expect a lot of girls to be keen on meeting.

I get the feeling you’re taking this too seriously and rushing things. Move the ball, but understand that these women have no idea who you are and are dealing with hundreds of thirsty ass dudes all day so it’s in their best interest to screen the **** out of every guy they match with.

Relax, have a fun chat, move it to text and build rapport. Once rapport is built ask them out. You’re trying to close the sale too early. Make them agree to multiple small asks first so that them meeting up with you to grab a drink doesn’t seem like a big deal.

I personally do not do online dating much anymore due to the unbalanced power dynamic on it. I much rather talk to girls in person.

[jamestown0101]

I know girls are flakey as phuck on tinder. So I downloaded Bumble, where THEY have to initiate the conversation and thought it would help things out a bit and get rid of thirsty guys matching and spamming girls.

so I actually get a reasonable number of matches with decent looking women, after I really improved my pictures a ton. Around 5-10 matches a week. I would say little more than half of the girls reach out first (girls have to reach out first on bumble). Funny thing is, they stop responding after like 2 messages half the time or don't even respond after their first message. When I suggest we meet up for drinks, they are always "Busy".

Here is an example:

*OP matches with Bumble Sloot*
Sloot: Hey OP how are you doing?
OP: *insert small talk or something random but funny*
Sloot: -------------

In the case that they keep talking (which is like only 10% of the time)
Sloot: *ya da ya da y da y da*
OP: "Grab a drink tonight", (or something like that)
Sloot: I TOTALLY would! but I havn't been feeling to well, or my grandpa is in the hospital etc etc.

Funniest one was today. Had a cute girl message me first, got on topic of chit we like to do around the cities. I ask her what she is up to this weekend..she says "nothing really planned..just relaxing". so I go "we are checking out this joint here, you'll love it, you told me you wanted to broaden your horizons". she stops responding and the next day goes..."yeah that sounds like fun". Then I go "Tell me when you are free this weekend". And she goes "well..I'm actually only free for a few hours on Saturday".

Phukking LOL, after telling me that she has no plans the day before for the WHOLE WEEKEND. I immediately unmatched her.

Other excuses I get are "sorry, I have a family emergency" or "Sorry I am sick". you mean to tell me that 75% of girls on Tinder/Bumble are sick or having dying relatives. just lol.

I finally have some matches...and now this. lol. just lol.

Low interest. #next

Repeat till dead or D stops working. Man, you're 33. You should know better by now lol.

Use apps but they're for women. If you get a girl you like, she's not been waiting to meet you and only you. She's been jumping off the dick and going nuts.

I'm game. Just begin trolling when they talk cereal relationships and leaving bridal magazines around.

At your age, look up the hottest chicks you went to college or high school with. Dumpster fire lol

Ive said it for ages man. Men peak late. Women peak mad Early. In the time she could be locking down a man, she's running through dudes and having kids out of wedlock.

There's nothing funnier than running into women from the past. Fat as ****kkk, multiple kids, diff baby daddy. Lulz good riddance.

Even better when running into a train wreck when you're with a girl late teens or early 20s. No better feels.

Life trolls women harder than you ever could.

[iamdetermined]

^^^oh lawd the man, the myth, the legend

Online dating is super low investment so don’t expect a lot of girls to be keen on meeting.

I get the feeling you’re taking this too seriously and rushing things. Move the ball, but understand that these women have no idea who you are and are dealing with hundreds of thirsty ass dudes all day so it’s in their best interest to screen the **** out of every guy they match with.

Relax, have a fun chat, move it to text and build rapport. Once rapport is built ask them out. You’re trying to close the sale too early. Make them agree to multiple small asks first so that them meeting up with you to grab a drink doesn’t seem like a big deal.

I personally do not do online dating much anymore due to the unbalanced power dynamic on it. I much rather talk to girls in person.

What are some examples of small asks that make getting a drink not a big deal?

[DustinTheHuss]

Im gonna have to agree with this.

Just signed up again the other day, 10 matches the next day, almost every single one gave me a week schedule of when they are free.

Already met 2 with some of the others lined up.

Change your game up OP, good luck to you.

The hot girls should be booked for weeks on there because so many other Chads got to them first. That's why they keep you on the line to text them, in case their next 3 weeks of dates don't work out.

[redliner9]

Low interest. #next

Repeat till dead or D stops working. Man, you're 33. You should know better by now lol.

Use apps but they're for women. If you get a girl you like, she's not been waiting to meet you and only you. She's been jumping off the dick and going nuts.

I'm game. Just begin trolling when they talk cereal relationships and leaving bridal magazines around.

At your age, look up the hottest chicks you went to college or high school with. Dumpster fire lol

Ive said it for ages man. Men peak late. Women peak mad Early. In the time she could be locking down a man, she's running through dudes and having kids out of wedlock.

There's nothing funnier than running into women from the past. Fat as ****kkk, multiple kids, diff baby daddy. Lulz good riddance.

Even better when running into a train wreck when you're with a girl late teens or early 20s. No better feels.

Life trolls women harder than you ever could.

Dam, hes back.

I still lol at the story about leaving the girl to pay at the restaurant and doing donuts in the parking lot.

[redliner9]

The hot girls should be booked for weeks on there because so many other Chads got to them first. That's why they keep you on the line to text them, in case their next 3 weeks of dates don't work out.

Maybe so but IDGAF

Its a numbers game, gotta be fast with a meetup.

Have a little faith in yourself bro

[otakutrevan]

that cant be the REAL jamestown. I didnt see 20 well placed gifs

[redliner9]

that cant be the REAL jamestown. I didnt see 20 well placed gifs

Next thing ya know Janky will chime in

[Luc1fer]

Low interest. #next

Repeat till dead or D stops working. Man, you're 33. You should know better by now lol.

Use apps but they're for women. If you get a girl you like, she's not been waiting to meet you and only you. She's been jumping off the dick and going nuts.

I'm game. Just begin trolling when they talk cereal relationships and leaving bridal magazines around.

At your age, look up the hottest chicks you went to college or high school with. Dumpster fire lol

Ive said it for ages man. Men peak late. Women peak mad Early. In the time she could be locking down a man, she's running through dudes and having kids out of wedlock.

There's nothing funnier than running into women from the past. Fat as ****kkk, multiple kids, diff baby daddy. Lulz good riddance.

Even better when running into a train wreck when you're with a girl late teens or early 20s. No better feels.

Life trolls women harder than you ever could.

Except there are many people in happy, stable marriages with loved kids. Which beats empty sex with Tinder sluts.

Classifying women the way you do (fat, divorced, unhappy) is cope, and probably a way to make yourself feel better for lack of success when younger. But I can see why miscers like you, you say the type of stuff that makes them feel better.

Don’t worry about what other random people are doing, just pursue the life you want.

[HotlineBling]

I still stick to my point and while I do see some validity in your statement I’ve experienced a whole different world contrasted to yours. I’ve found that if I text a chick for a week she either doesn’t show up or finds excuses compared to when I push for a date as soon as possible. I wouldnt attribute that to me being boring because I can very easily escalate things with a female and get her interested. I had a chick send me nudes and tell me how she was gonna do a ton of things to me only to have her bail at the last second because her dad didn’t like cops. I was studying to become one. I knew this was a bs excuse because the day after she was hugging a dude and calling him babe.

Unless youre living in a city where people are outgoing ,I find it hard to believe that anyone here can keep a chick interested for a week via texting. In person its a whole different story.

I stick to my point that to weed out the time wasters on dating apps youve gotta push for a date in either the first or second days because after that the window of opportunity has closed.

However, if youre method yields you results then I respect that.

This man got it.

[DustinTheHuss]

Maybe so but IDGAF

Its a numbers game, gotta be fast with a meetup.

Have a little faith in yourself bro

It's not faith in myself, it's reality. If she's not booked for weeks with dates from other dudes on Tinder who got to her before you, then she's not that hot.

This whole thing about unmatching if she doesn't meet you in a week is nonsense. That would only work with below to average chicks.

[Jroc2017]

It's not faith in myself, it's reality. If she's not booked for weeks with dates from other dudes on Tinder who got to her before you, then she's not that hot.

This whole thing about unmatching if she doesn't meet you in a week is nonsense. That would only work with below to average chicks.

nah not true, these women are not “booked” and really don’t have anything better to do with their time. Idc how hot she is. You are giving them too much credit