I Dumped My Girlfriend Yesterday On Her Birthday!

[Soulforge2015]

I will try keep this as short as possible..

this has been an on going situation, that has finally come to an end..

she is 48 has her own house, car, and a good income.. and she has come out of a divorce around 2 years ago!

i'm 39 years old, we was dating for around 6 months and it was a committed relationship, things was fine between us, other than one ISSUE

she used to go out drinking quite allot in bars, me on the other hand are not a big drinker and do not like bars, clubs etc

anyhow i felt like i should let her know, that i do not want a relationship that revolves around bars and drinking and clubs all of the time..

i spoke to her about it, calmly, without anger or putting pressure on her or making demands.. i just let her know firmly and calmly about how i feel about the situation.

i explained i am perfectly fine with her going out for a few drinks, on occasions, family events etc.. but i don't want the whole bar scene being part of the relationship..

we spoke about this around 2 weeks ago, and she seemed fine about the conversation and agreed with what i was saying.


this week we both booked some time off work and decided to go stop for a few days at one of her friends luxury apartments in Scotland.. She told me that her friend would like us to join her for a meal on one of the days.. i was perfectly fine with this!

so we decided to go for a meal then pop into a bar or two for some drinks.. earlier that day we had been walking all day sight seeing and had done quite allot of driving too.. so i was feeling quite exhausted and had only slept 5 hours

i suggested to my GF that i don't fancy staying out too late tonight... at this point she TURNED on me

Her - You need to get over it, this is my friend who i have not seen in ages, whats your problem blah blah blah


i was quite shocked to hear her reaction..


ME - Hey i'm perfectly happy going out with your friend, i just didn't want to be out too late (i.e) all night or very late in the morning because its been a very long day.


Her - Well my friend needs to be back home for around 9.30pm or 10.00pm anyway


ME - Well that's fine.. Why the rudeness and attitude, i didn't like that outburst


we then spent most of the day walking around, site seeing and hardly speaking to each other.. we didn't hold hands etc, like we normally do.. i felt quite miffed off with her outburst


later that night we got together for a meal.. i spoke to her friend as nicely as possible, even tho she is rather annoying!

during the meal, her friend told my GF that she has bought a villa in Malta, and they should fly out to Malta for a girls holiday, nights out, drinking etc

my GF jumped at the chance, and agreed to it straight away.. she even suggested March this year, even tho this was the month me and her was supposed to go on holiday.

I found it strange she agreed to this GIRLS holiday straight away, without even discussion with me, about the holiday me and her had already planned together.

so we was sat around the table chatting, and i noticed my GF was drinking a hell of allot.. half way into the meal, she was pretty much DRUNK!!

and her friend was quite tipsy.. i decided to use the toilet, when i came back to the table, they was both talking to each other quietly, but stopped as soon as they saw me.. it looked a bit suss to me!

this coming Saturday me and the GF was supposed to be going out to a bar/diner in Manchester with her two daughters.. we had planned this meal and drinks over a week ago, was meant to be for her birthday.

all of a sudden her friend who i have know for around 2 hours tells me...

Friend - you seem like the cool, laid back, chilled out type.. i don't think you would enjoy this bar your going to at the weekend, its quite upbeat party kinda place..


Me - Why wouldn't i enjoy it.. i don't mind places like that sometimes, it makes a change..


Friend - Maybe you should both try work something else out


GF - This might sound disrespectful, but i think i will drive you back home tomorrow, i don't think u would enjoy this bar..

Me - Well i think i'm old enough to make that decision for myself, but i think i will leave it.. i won't be coming to the bar with you.. its not a problem


I could clearly tell my GF did not want me there with her at the weekend, and this was her and her friends idea of trying to convince me that i should not go.. Hint taken!

An hour later, my GF is still quite drunk, and we pay the bill for the meal.. i then suggest i will call us a taxi to get me and my GF back to the apartment.

my GF then states we don't have a number for a taxi, and we can't google the number on your phone because its crap.. i then tell her, my phone is not crap.. i can make calls, i can send text messages, that's all i need..

i don't need ******** and whatever else u get on smartphones.. at this point my GF starts to argue with me.. she angrily shouts your phone is rubbish, get google on it then, prove it...

I tell her.. your tone right now is quite rude, and your making a scene and you are DRUNK.. i felt like i was being disrespected in front of her friend.

it was getting quite embarrassing.. so i called a taxi and we both left.. we hardly spoke to each other on the way back, when we got back to the apartment she headed straight for the spare room, and went to bed and left me stood there like an idiot

so i slept in the bed without her... i was furious all night long and could not sleep.. felt so disrespected..

i was in a strange place, and stuck with her for another 3 days... so during the night i packed my things, and first thing in the morning i left.. and caught a Train costing me £110 back to my home town.. the train journey took 4 hours


when i got home.. i sent her this simple text message..

Hi sorry i will not be seeing you again, goodbye

i could have explained more, about why i am ending it.. but i felt there was no point in explaining, as she should already know why i have done this.


she sent a text back..

I Totally agree with it..

but since then she has been blowing up my phone.. she has called 4 times and left answer phone messages, but i have ignored every call


i'm not sure what to do now.. i liked her allot, and felt like ending it was the only choice i had left, otherwise i would be accepting bad behavior from her, and things could get even worse


i'm not sure if i should let her know exactly why i ended it.. plus i feel a little bad for dumping her on her Birthday.. but i felt it had to be done, i fell so angry and upset by her actions

[Soulforge2015]

Today is especially hard, she called me 3 times yesterday, and i ignored her calls.. need some advice, struggling with my descion here

[FU3L]

I will try keep this as short as possible..

You lying sack of chit

[StinkholePatrol]

Stay NC, jesus lol


Shes also 46, her saving grace better be her personality because shes a used up and old. Unfortunately it sounds like shes a desperate piece of chit trying to cling to what little youth she might have left (none), by going to bars, partying, etc.

You dodged a massive bullet, stay NC.

[silverwildcat]

I'm curious what exactly did you like about her? She seems pretty superficial minded to me from what i'm reading. Also you both seem to have different interests and communication styles. What did you guys bond over that made you want to commit to her? Also weren't you at least a little perturbed about the fact that she had just gotten divorced two years ago? Did you at anytime think she had any emotional baggage from it and that she wasn't really ready to emotionally commit to a new relationship? :/

[Tdriin]

Lol dumping via text...
Brave

[All-Star11]

You lying sack of chit

lollll


but srs OP...seems petty from what I read

[orderoutofchaos]

Oh i know about these 45 yr old women with a good job and a house! I used to be a chad with one. Id be able to come over any time and ravage her. She was in a relationship most of that time with a guy much like your age and your description of it all.

Trust me bro, leave it all alone. Shes fycking every guy out there. Shes got a 22 yr old hyperpenile freak, shes got a young up and coming alpha male that gets her pizzy any time he wants, shes also meeting men older than her in hopes of finding a new husband and shes also trying to slowly work things out with her ex husband. Just leave it alone. 45 yr old women are independant and independant means phucks everything in site

[motilynn]

I think it was a good choice. I'm sure it's still hard, but in the end you will be free to find someone better suited, as will she. Sometimes it just isn't a good fit. Nobody should have to force anyone to change, you or her, just move on.

[Nedo]

You did the right thing brah, she is a sl00t by the sounds of it. Not wanting you to go to that bar, its certainly not so you can't see her dancing with the girls.

Party girls are not for relationship brah, they need variety. They get bored of the same. You dodged a bullet. Make this easier for you and her by remaining NC and she deserved to be dumped on her bday, fukin kunt.

[PisseninMisc]

So wtf are you asking bro? Are you really 39?

You were dating a woman who likes to get drunk, party, barhop, jump on dick, etc. There's nothing wrong with that in my book, but you surely take exception to that type of behavior. She was not perfect for you and you were far from perfect for her. Move the fk on and let her go live her life just the same.

39... I'm probably as dense as you right now but hopefully I will have learned in another 10 years lol

[Soulforge2015]

I enjoyed her company, we had things in common such as music, going for long walks, we enjoyed each others company and the sex was good too..

I just feel quite disrespected, and don't see how i could get back with her after this.. it would be a go ahead for her to walk all over me

[v2sanchez]

wtf cliffs?

[Megalomaniacal]

gjdm


relationships don't seem to work when the age difference is 8 years or more.

[Thillygooth]

lol at them trying to convince you the bar would be too upbeat. They probably winked at each other when you said you'd pass - Like you were the biggest moron on Earth. Good call on all this even though both of you sound petty.

[Soulforge2015]

I passed on it because i knew she did not really want me there.. and it was her who had invited me to come in the first place.. what an insult

She could have quite easily just asked me privately if i was happy to go to this bar with her, why bring the issue up infront of her friend, who i don't even know, and patronise me in that way?

She said she will drive me home on friday, so don't think i even had a choice.. i felt embarrassed, disrespected..

[silverwildcat]

I enjoyed her company, we had things in common such as music, going for long walks, we enjoyed each others company and the sex was good too..

I just feel quite disrespected, and don't see how i could get back with her after this.. it would be a go ahead for her to walk all over me

Huh I do not want to be assuming but do you think the bulk of your interest, attachment, and chemistry with her might have been the sex? Or if you were to completely take sex out of the equation of all of what you said it would have still been enough for you to want to commit to her?

[Xinroth]

Yeah she disrespected you. She's calling you either to get her own closure/call you a dumbass, or simply to beg you back.

Don't respond.

[US_Ranger]

You lying sack of chit

This

Cliffs or negs OP, your choice.

[Soulforge2015]

Huh I do not want to be assuming but do you think the bulk of your interest, attachment, and chemistry with her might have been the sex? Or if you were to completely take sex out of the equation of all of what you said it would have still been enough for you to want to commit to her?

Offcourse it was not just sex.. i would not be feeling this cut up, hurt, confused, if i was just sex..

I liked her company we enjoyed doing things together, we had really fun times..

Even tho it was me who did the dumping, it still hurts really bad

[beowulf10]

OP. My initial, gut-instinct take on the situation: This woman is complete trash. She is a 48 year old child who does not respect you. Find someone else.

To put it in the most kind way possible: She is not ready for a long-term relationship and she likely never will be.

[silverwildcat]

Offcourse it was not just sex.. i would not be feeling this cut up, hurt, confused, if i was just sex..

I liked her company we enjoyed doing things together, we had really fun times..

Even tho it was me who did the dumping, it still hurts really bad

Perhaps...i'm not going to tell you how you feel but there have been guys that have felt the way you do about their fwbs. But that's all I wanted to know. For advice I think you did do the right thing this women seems the type to take advabtage. Give her a little Lee way and she will see it as weakness and use it. It also doesn't seem like she is capable of empathy or sympathy she seems to only see these fights from her stand point only and will not listen to any other perspective because she believes she's right. If she really cared about you she would at least stop and listen then consider before she gives a response or makes a decision. To me you seem like a passive personality and she seems more dominating in a way that is deceitful. If you at any moment falter in your beliefs you can bet she will make things hell for you, you have to always stand firm for what you want or try to find a compromise.

What i'm imagining:

[CheeseFreak]

You lying sack of chit

LoL

[DAJDive]

40+ years old and likes to go party like a 20 something and all that drama after 6 months of dating? Go NC and find someone else. You're better off bro.

[Megalomaniacal]

I will try keep this as short as possible..

You lying sack of chit

LOfukkingL

[dp51134]

lol @ you taking an almost 48 year old woman who still wants to frequent go to bars and out clubbing seriously. Add to that the disrespect when they agreed the bar is too upbeat for you. Just LOL. this is what you should do op:

[Soulforge2015]

lol @ you taking an almost 48 year old woman who still wants to frequent go to bars and out clubbing seriously. Add to that the disrespect when they agreed the bar is too upbeat for you. Just LOL. this is what you should do op:

To be fair she does not go to clubs.. but does seem to have a history of going to bars alot and sometimes getting drunk..

Since she met me, she had toned it down.. but i also had a chat with her a few weeks ago and explained that going out to bars frequently would not be a positive thing for our relationship.. she did somewhat agree.

But i get a gut feeling this woman would not be able leave the bars for too long..

Yes her friend tried to hint me that i would not like it at this bar, and she had the nerve to suggest other things we could do instead of me going out with my GF on her birthday!

I knew they was both hinting i should not go.. so i told them straight.. don't worry i won't be going!!

The cheek and nerve left me so fuking furious..

[Soulforge2015]

Also i know they had both conspired for me to not attend the birthday bar/diner.. thats why i just said, its ok i will not be going.

[dp51134]

To be fair she does not go to clubs.. but does seem to have a history of going to bars alot and sometimes getting drunk..

Since she met me, she had toned it down.. but i also had a chat with her a few weeks ago and explained that going out to bars frequently would not be a positive thing for our relationship.. she did somewhat agree.

But i get a gut feeling this woman would not be able leave the bars for too long..

Yes her friend tried to hint me that i would not like it at this bar, and she had the nerve to suggest other things we could do instead of me going out with my GF on her birthday!

I knew they was both hinting i should not go.. so i told them straight.. don't worry i won't be going!!

The cheek and nerve left me so fuking furious..

Why do you think she said that? Is there a backstory?

[Bassackwards]

yeah-screw that chick. friends are important but to be that way and to disrespect you like that is just wrong. you did the right thing. theres a reason why she isn't married; it's her immaturity. good luck bro-you dodged a bullet there. better you find out now than later