Doing the Right thing for my youngest Son

[thomashenry]

Some of you know I found my Daughter Dead in a Closet from Hanging herself 5 years ago and My Youngest Son has been wrestling in a Dark way with that among other things before & accelerated since, {Heroin}, and has been in and out of Prison, Real Prison, not Camp Snoopy Like, Shawshank Type, and Quite an extensive record, Been to 2 Rehab centers also, I have visited him numerous times at all the Facilities he has been in and Done all that I am capable of from $, Counseling, Talked extensively to him, vouched for him, Long Story and Not at all Pretty though, But been through hell with him and he has stayed with Us for short stays, as well at my oldest My oldest Son`s {who thank God is doing Great} until we each kicked him out, because we had to, and a Variety of other life experiences with him, reaching out attempting to help in so many different ways.

And the Drug bit, I have been around all my Life, in the Life Practicing and an unwilling Clean & Sober {30 Years} Participant, been exposed to it in some way shape or Form my whole life, and Trust me it is not only ugly it is exasperating and more than that, Heart Breaking, but there are avenues to deal with it the best I & others can,............ anyways my Son showed up at my Doorstep the other day while I was at Work, My wife who is disabled, and has diminished capacity from a stroke, left him to go to the Bathroom and no sooner had she returned he had to split, With 2800 Cash, some of my wife`s jewelry, 6 one oz Gold American Eagles, a Smith & Wesson M&P 45 and H&K USP 40 both fully loaded and an extra Clip for each, Ripped us off once again

Like all good addcits in a Drug induced haze he left me a message telling me not to be mad at him and he is sorry & where the Guns were and why he did what he did, Drug Addicts and Alcoholics have some Very Interesting tales, he was unaware I had Immediately went to the County Sheriffs Dept to Report the Guns Missing and gave them all the info, Photo Copied registrations, Serial#`s etc and told them about the other stuff, Detective came over this Morning to indicate they had him and am I willing to go through with having him Prosecuted, I Told him Yes, it is the Only way I can think of in helping him, he is 28 and at this juncture I do not know doing what he is doing if he will make it to 29.

From My Perspective this madness has to have some sort of ending and I cannot just let this cycle of insanity just keep going, know full well "that in this World you will have trouble" & I believe I am doing what is right for him & it is very difficult for my wife who is mentally unable to function in a way that is anything but normal, she is distraught that he would do this "again" even though this is what addicts do, I don`t want to bury another Child though, the Pain is unimaginable & I am awfully tired, Don`t think there is another way though and as I said I am whipped, Like a rented mule

[GatorBison]

As a father , I can't imagine the pain you're in. Stay strong in your faith brother.

[Plateauplower]

As heartbreaking as it is you did the right thing for your son. I had a very good friend growing up that I lost contact with after college etc, his parents found him dead of Heroin overdose on Christams eve. He had never been into anything like that when I knew him, for many others where that is the last stop. Hopefully, he will decide for himself to make the changes necccessaryand get the help he needs.

[sockitume]

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles! I had a family member who stole from us on a regular basis with a very similar background. In the end, I wouldn't say everything is okay but I can tell you it has gotten better. We prosecuted multiple times for the stealing which came with jail time. There was substance abuse help and counselors as well. We ended up having to have locks on every room in the house. It's a tough way to live. I wish you all the best in dealing with this!

1 Corinthians 10:13

[SteveWright1]

sorry to have read this Thomas
I can imagine what you are going through and it sounds like tough love is the best solution for all concerned

I have not experienced anywhere near the same degree of trouble that you have been through but did sadly have to ask my brother to leave my familly home due to alcohol ( I had young children at the time, he was an alcoholic, he had nowhere to go and I offered to let him move in with us but he needed to stop drinking in order to stay - sadly he failed to achieve that and far too often empty drink cans and bottles found under his bed that he denied where in fact his , led me to ask him to leave - he ended up in an alcoholics recovery hostel and did manage to get the help he needed and has been tea total for about 15 years since, so whilst I felt guilty at the time for evicting my own kid brother, I do look back now and honestly consider what I did to have been the best thing for all of us )

stay strong, you have other family members to consider and you are doing the right thing in my honest opinion

[Dave1958]

I'm a dad with children that age. While I would be grappling with the decisions you are making, think this way. In jail he will have food, clothing, and a place to sleep. While things can happen there, they can also happen on the street. If they can get the drug haze off his brain you have a chance to rescue your son. I would investigate post incarceration treatment facilities like teen challenge( it's not just for teens). Go talk to them, so you know what's up when he gets out. If you can find a place to help, it may be best if it's not where you call home. It may be best to get him out away from the friends that drag him back into a unstable place. I would also invest in a personal safe to place the valuables, putting the combination in a off site situtation( lock box). You have to remove the temptations. God speed, and wisdom to you in dealing with this

[NorwichGrad]

Truly heartbreaking, Thomas. But you did the right thing.. I'm also a father.. When my kids do something they're not supposed to and I discipline them, sometimes it hurts that I have to discipline them. I know you understand. But I can't even imagine the pain you're going through regarding what your son did and what you had to do (which again was right, as hard as it was).


Stay strong. God Bless. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[ElrondHubbard]

I'm sorry to learn of this, Thomas. My heart goes out to you and your family. You're doing what you have to do, but here doing the right thing is just as tragic and heartbreaking as doing the wrong thing. I can only hope that somehow, some way, things get better, and a little light filters into your son's brain.

[Bando]

Good Heavens, just said a prayer for you.

An addict with two loaded guns needs to in a place where he can't do harm to others, you did the right thing. May have even saved his life.

[Jasonk282]

You did the right thing...I wish that happened to me...however I was found passed out with a loaded .45 in my mouth and a 5th of vodka and 80mg of Oxy on my lap

[Mark1T]

Thomas, I was not aware of any of this. I am very sorry to hear it and you and your family have my prayers.

[Big_Sky_Guy]

Prayers that he can turn the corner.

[mcbourque]

Thomas, I am so sorry to hear this. Sounds like you did the only thing you could.
I had a neighbor is a very similar situation. Two adult sons, a disabled wife. His youngest on meth, stole valuables and the car from his dad. Dad also called the police and his son did time. The oldest is still there to take care of his parent though-decent guy.

You can only do so much and also don't forget to take care of yourself. Prayers sent to you and your family to find some peace in this.

[JimmyJonny]

There is always hope, remember that.

My prayers go out to you and your family.

[PiperBill]

I am witnessing a similar situation with a nephew and see and feel how painfull it is for everyone invoved. As fathers we feel we have to "fix" things that go off the rails. It's what we are programmed to do. If we can't fix it then we take the blame upon ourselves.

However in our case (and most likely in yours too) it's up the son, and him alone, to want to make the change enough to do it. You can walk beside him and you can guide the way but it's only he who can make the journey.

God bless.

[LisaSkinnoble]

I am so sorry to read that you are facing this. Heart-breaking. Prayers ascending. Stay strong, Thomas.

[paolo59]

Man alive! What an absolutely heart breaking situation brother. I'm so sorry. I was talking with a co-worker just a week or two ago. Our Special Ed. teacher. She has a younger sister who is in the same situation as your son. "I'm just waiting for a phone call. There's not a thing I can do, although if there were, I would have done it years ago, and would do it now." At least in jail your son has perhaps a chance to break free from the horrible addiction. Thoughts and prayers brother.

[SP1966]

I am so sorry to read that you are facing this. Heart-breaking. Prayers ascending. Stay strong, Thomas.

What up Boobies?

And on topic, I know it sucks, but you're doing the right thing Thomas!

[jdtemple]

That's rough news. You did the right thing. I come from a long line of drug addicts myself. My grandfather died of a heroine OD.

[Fishman15]

My problems don't seem very significant after reading your post Thomas. I hope God gives your family some peace over the Christmas holiday. Good luck brother...