LOL...Im SO done with online dating.. (Srs)

[BigBlack456]

i met girl around christmas time online and we ended up becoming friends and then she ended up liking me and i started to like her too. It came natural. Feels like when you don't try it just happens, and when you don't try it happens. She liked me so much that she didn't go to her favorite college for me so she could see me. couple months went by and she ended up wanting to live with me, she liked me so much that she wanted to have a family with me. At the time i was 18 she was 19, I wasn't ready for anything like that, and along with finding out she had a mental disease that i didn't want to deal with (not naming disease for anonymity purposes) and she was kinda slutty. I left, plus I didn't honestly feel like waiting around to see her when I knew there was fresh pusC right next door. Online dating is truly a waste of time, you are much better off keeping interactions local, you can read people much easier, I swear so many people online have issues. At least if you do it IRL you can ditch and save your time and not wait to meet up with a whacko. This girl did however boost my confidence because to be honest I had never known a girl to be so into me.

[GuloGuloQC]

after like 6 months straight of sending messages to girls on okcupid,pof,match,meetme, badoo, tinder (10 out of 10000 matches unlimited swiping)

Im finished..

the constant checking of my profiles to just see if I even got a profile view(which I havnt had for a year and it was a whale).. forget getting an ACTUAL message or a response back (never happend)

online dating is a game im simply not invited to play..

it has killed my ego and self esteem and a sht load of time basically embarassing myself, jumping through hoops and trying to impress these girls by finding all kinds of opening messages to send to these girls..

for any FA'S out there who are thinkin about starting up a profile.. dont even bother.. (srs)

so I remain FA for now...25 years goin strong (lol)

OP, for real, hang in there.

Thing is, you are not EVERY girl's dream guy, and timing is everything.

I was having a dry-spell for the past two months, and boom, September rolled in and so did a bunch of new faces (I use POF). Had a nice date last Friday, out of the blue.

Timing is everything, and don't lower your standards. You don't want to finally land a date with a bish you'll despise...

Chin up!

[Sleev-les]

OP, I'd pick IRL over the internet any day of the week. Tinder is a time killer for sure. When I had all normal pics up there, I got some response. The second I put up a shot that a friend got from a workout showing some aesthetics, the responses started going through the roof. Don't get too hellbent on the internet man.. Just think, they could show up to a meet and its not what their pics look like.. Go real life..

[ratbatkicker]

Online dating can be flaky.. But occasionally.. You'll meet a quality chick.

[BetaThanU]

No way, Tinder works differently for women vs men.

Men match with every woman blindly. Most don't bother to even look at the pictures of the women they're matching with (takes too long). Women are extremely selective.

Therefore the majority of the guys are getting zero action (irl OR Tinder, since, as I said, the fact that girls are on Tinder means they're even more selective irl), and the majority of girls are getting lots of action off the top 1% most aesthetic guys in their city (they're sharing the top 1% most aesthetic guys between them).

Result? 1% of men get laid. 100% of women get laid with that 1% of the male population.

m
There's no way I'm in the 1% lol

[BetaThanU]

If that's the case you need to focus on yourself and identify WHY you're not getting responses.

he has terrible photos
Pretty sure I remember this guy posting them a while ago

[BetaThanU]

^ has nothing to do with me "improving myself"or "going out and doing something about my situation"..
This is all about the females standards..

My body? Ive seen my competition,95% of the guys on those sites dont lift.

Clothes? I dress in good clothes that help accentuate my build.

My posture and body language is solid as well..

1 thing that might play against me tho..is that I never let ppl take pictures of me and I only have a few selfies as pictures...

I figured it doesnt matter and it shouldnt..just as long as they see what you look like..which apparently..isnt good enough

lol no wonder you don't get matches.
Women are not like men. A selfie will not cut it. In fact it's a repellent most of the time.
You have to have a good quality photo.
Doesn't matter if it shouldn't matter.
It does

And don't use photos surrounded by girls or with kids.

[SugarFree1]

If you offer to treat the woman like a lady and court her with drinks or dinner, then you stand out amongst the Tinder mansloots

Dont know if this is as true with younger girls but in general I would agree

Listen, Internet dating is not that bad. Yes, deck is stacked in woman's favor but that doesn't mean it's hopeless.

^^ This. If your not getting any responses its time to change your opinion of whether the selfie-pics/bio's your using are not the problem.

I just recently starting dating again after near 20 year w my wife. This online dating is definitely hit or miss as far as what actually shows up but I cant say Ive had any problem talking to and meeting multiple people each week. DeadLiftBrah can confirm the different dates ive been on each week and I wouldnt say im anything above average.

[kanis999]

So far I've met 4 girls from online dating IRL for a date. Every single one of them was uglier than their ugliest picture times 10. Every single one of them had a ridiculous amount of drama in their life. To get dates with those 4, I probably sent out 1000 messages.

Top tier attractive women don't use these sites. You have to meet them IRL if you want a hot one.

[SugarFree1]

On the Tinder thread there was one member constantly complaining about being FA and disfigured etc. Some of the other guys decided to help and got his account access, fixed up his bio and started matching and messaging the girls for him. It immediately took off and really went a long ways to show that just simple changes are needed sometimes.

[kanis999]

On the Tinder thread there was one member constantly complaining about being FA and disfigured etc. Some of the other guys decided to help and got his account access, fixed up his bio and started matching and messaging the girls for him. It immediately took off and really went a long ways to show that just simple changes are needed sometimes.

That's pretty cool. Wonder if the same works for sites that aren't for hookups.

[Zironexium]

Take a break from the dating apps and focus on yourself.

[ashake777]

I think it's all a crap shoot. Be it online or IRL. Just gotta get lucky meeting someone at the right place at the right time.

[coctopus]

Lol, no, whether you use it or not - online dating is screwing up your chances with women.

Deadliftbrah on this very forum said that pre-Tinder, she'd get feels for some of the guys she met on an everyday basis (in the gym), but these days since she has Tinder, she's drowning in options from so many aesthetic guys sending her dick pics left right and center that she barely notices those guys she used to crush on. She has become numb to them because she has so many options.

So good luck with trying to meet women 'irl' - every woman is on Tinder, and getting so much attention that you're invisible unless your SUPREMELY aesthetic - as in top 10 in your city.

Reading stuff like this makes me happy that I got married up with a good chick before Tinder and online dating became the norm.

[badreligion]

Online dating sites like OKCupid and POF *the so called "free sites" are a joke . You notice how they have a membership fee on it ? That's because if you want to talk with real people you have to fork over money the profiles you see on the free section 95% of them are fake made up by the website themselves . Let's be real here the only reason that people use online dating is

Guys-looking for an easy lay

Girls-looking to get validation and have their egos stroked .

[SugarFree1]

Let's be real here the only reason that people use online dating is

Guys-looking for an easy lay

Girls-looking to get validation and have their egos stroked .

I wouldnt say that at all. I use it because Im too old to be hanging in bars/clubs trying to pick up drunk women. And I know plenty of people now married who originally met online.

[ezjax]

I will tell you this.. your social value immediately sky rockets when you approach women in person.. you jump ahead of all the tinder dates she flaked on and all the okcupid messages.. you also will have much better success...

I agree that most of the people getting laid are tall or 10/10 face..

women do not get approached that often in person.. its more than an ego boost.. its biological.. there is much more room for exceptions.. she wants to like you.. after all you actually came up to her in person.. you didn't hide behind your computer...

she knows its real if you came up to her in person and not just typed a 5 second message behind a computer.. YOU are the TYPE of guy she wants.. you may not be as tall as him.. or look like what she expected.. but the guy who approaches is the guy she wants..

[JKLOL]

Take a break from the dating apps and focus on yourself.

This.

I'm guessing females can tell you're FA and desperate.

[trufflepigg]

it's quite a bit lame op
if it makes you feel better, I'm pretty good looking guy, get a lot of matches on Tinder, but still find it kills my self esteem

[Sleev-les]

it's quite a bit lame op
if it makes you feel better, I'm pretty good looking guy, get a lot of matches on Tinder, but still find it kills my self esteem

Why do you let an app get to you? 9 out of 10 times you ACTUALLY meet up with the girl, shes busted and looks nothing like her pics. You ever think that may be why they don't meet up? They know that they will be called out? I'm just saying.... Think about it from another angle. F2F is always a better option in the dating world. You can sell yourself a hell of a lot better by F2F chat.

[Redundanteater]

^ has nothing to do with me "improving myself"or "going out and doing something about my situation"..
This is all about the females standards..

My body? Ive seen my competition,95% of the guys on those sites dont lift.

Clothes? I dress in good clothes that help accentuate my build.

My posture and body language is solid as well..

1 thing that might play against me tho..is that I never let ppl take pictures of me and I only have a few selfies as pictures...

I figured it doesnt matter and it shouldnt..just as long as they see what you look like..which apparently..isnt good enough

It's all about dat dere "social proof". Girls want to see that you're an attractive, in demand guy. Post pictures of yourself having fun, doing exciting activities, the center of attention in a group setting (ideally with hot babes). A woman perceiving you as attractive to OTHER WOMEN >>> all the other factors people discuss (height, DYEL, clothes, etc.)

[kanis999]

It's all about dat dere "social proof". Girls want to see that you're an attractive, in demand guy. Post pictures of yourself having fun, doing exciting activities, the center of attention in a group setting (ideally with hot babes). A woman perceiving you as attractive to OTHER WOMEN >>> all the other factors people discuss (height, DYEL, clothes, etc.)

That's a nice concept, but what makes you think FA's actually have these kinds of pictures to begin with? None of us do. Hell, I've been tagged in about 2 ******** photos in the past 4 years. You have to already be successful with women to have pictures of you having fun around women. Catch 22.

[Redundanteater]

That's a nice concept, but what makes you think FA's actually have these kinds of pictures to begin with? None of us do. Hell, I've been tagged in about 2 ******** photos in the past 4 years. You have to already be successful with women to have pictures of you having fun around women. Catch 22.

I know what you're saying, the whole "can't get a job because I don't have experience..." cycle. That FA tho? Wow. Some of you guys are in pretty good shape based on your pics, can't you fake it til you make it? Get female friends of gym buddies in a few pics to start the ball rolling?

I think is someone is that antisocial/isolated they don't even have this minimal level of interaction and background profile pics, dating shouldn't be the top priority. Focus on yourself and developing some genuine hobbies and interests (that involve real life interaction outside your house!).

Just my take!

[kanis999]

I know what you're saying, the whole "can't get a job because I don't have experience..." cycle. That FA tho? Wow. Some of you guys are in pretty good shape based on your pics, can't you fake it til you make it? Get female friends of gym buddies in a few pics to start the ball rolling?

I think is someone is that antisocial/isolated they don't even have this minimal level of interaction and background profile pics, dating shouldn't be the top priority. Focus on yourself and developing some genuine hobbies and interests (that involve real life interaction outside your house!).

Just my take!

Being in shape doesn't mean anything. That's a common misconception on this forum.

I am a natural homebody. I have hobbies that I'm passionate about, but none of them involve leaving my house. I don't want to leave my house. I enjoy home. Basically summarizes my excuse.

And while many times I've "branched out" and gone out of my comfort zone, I strongly dislike it. So I always return to my homebody habits. I'm not going to continue doing something I don't like (going out) all the time.

[Redundanteater]

Being in shape doesn't mean anything. That's a common misconception on this forum.

I am a natural homebody. I have hobbies that I'm passionate about, but none of them involve leaving my house. I don't want to leave my house. I enjoy home. Basically summarizes my excuse.

I agree with you 100%. Unless you are grossly overweight or have some serious legit deformity, physical appearance isn't especially important for guys (in terms of attracting women).

I also agree that your not wanting to leave your house is a valid excuse. Most women simply will not find that inherently attractive.

[kanis999]

I also agree that your not wanting to leave your house is a valid excuse. Most women simply will not find that inherently attractive.

Yup. So you're left with a choice:

A) Be somebody you're not and get a girlfriend, while continuing to fake being gregarious.

B) Be true to who you are, but don't get a girlfriend (or at least not a competitively hot one).

[lschepis]

Your AVI looks top 1% for your age bracket. You ever look at a group of 40 yo men?

Sure you aren't top 1% for 18 to 35 year old pussy but you are going to slay all the 35 to 50 year olds you can handle.

Agree...men his age don't look like him in the real world. Wish they did.

[anonymous]

[psychosylocibin]

Just reading these threads and what I see in real life makes me realize that absolutely NOTHING makes sense in attracting women. absolutely NOTHING. There are literally contradictions to every single case of "what works". Obvious the answer to that is "well women like different things that's why...just be yourself and find someone that likes your image". That doesn't work either, because from experience if you go that route you will end up FA, as evidenced by all the guys on here that are in decent shape/decent job/motivated that still can't get a girl.


You don't know how many times I see guys that COMPLETELY CONTRADICT what people say should attract women with cute girls (even outside misc), that makes me think the world is out to get me and other FA's.

I have met very cute, intelligent, outgoing girls that would not give any of us a second glance with guys who are extremely skinny and wear basketball shorts/loose t shirts/crummy shoes and walk with their heads down. I'll talk to them and think "maybe he has an awesome personality". Turns out he can't even look me in the fukking face when he talks. I think "maybe he has a high paying job" - turns out he is still fukking working at Panera.

These men are below FA miscers who lift, have decent paying jobs, intelligent, decent social skills and it just blows my mind to smithereens.

[kanis999]

Just reading these threads and what I see in real life makes me realize that absolutely NOTHING makes sense in attracting women. absolutely NOTHING. There are literally contradictions to every single case of "what works". Obvious the answer to that is "well women like different things that's why...just be yourself and find someone that likes your image". That doesn't work either, because from experience if you go that route you will end up FA, as evidenced by all the guys on here that are in decent shape/decent job/motivated that still can't get a girl.


You don't know how many times I see guys that COMPLETELY CONTRADICT what people say should attract women with cute girls (even outside misc), that makes me think the world is out to get me and other FA's.

I have met very cute, intelligent, outgoing girls that would not give any of us a second glance with guys who are extremely skinny and wear basketball shorts/loose t shirts/crummy shoes and walk with their heads down. I'll talk to them and think "maybe he has an awesome personality". Turns out he can't even look me in the fukking face when he talks. I think "maybe he has a high paying job" - turns out he is still fukking working at Panera.

These men are below FA miscers who lift, have decent paying jobs, intelligent, decent social skills and it just blows my mind to smithereens.

Agree with your whole rant. Lots of luck involved it seems. But being a homebody is probably one of the worst things you can have going for you.