we confess terrible things about ourselves

[Ravishing_Rick]

.....




i like 3 Dave Matthew songs

[Lefticle]

Sometimes I give myself a sheenis and lay by my pool all day and watch Pretty Little Liars


Not proud of it

[BJaxxon]

I'm posting from the toilet.

[TroyLeroy]

i masturbate oftenly

[Bishamon]

A former sloot I was smashing gave me a buttplug as a gift (srs)


said "for when the u heed the call..."

[ChiBearsfan]

I cheated on an IQ test in the 4th grade.

They were astounded by my score and tried to send me to a special school.

I told them I didn't want to go to school with abnormal kids, and liked my friends and they let em stay in my school.

In the reading comprehension section you were supposed to read the passage and turn the page to answer the questions without looking.

I just looked at the previous page for every answer I couldn't remember.








In 8th grade my math teacher accused me of cheating because I never wrote down my work and always had the right answers.

She brought my parents in and told them it was not possible, because she had been teaching for over 25 years and never encountered a kid that could do that.

I acted confused and said I didn't know what she was talking about.

Honestly I usually did the problems in my head but when I couldn't get the answer I would look at the kid's test next to me.

[rafibomb]

I've cried like 10 times while binge watching Grey's Anatomy over the last 3 days.

[OUBrahZ28]

I would wife Tswift

srs

[dingler]

I've ripped the tag off of every mattress, pillow and couch that I've ever owned.

I used to masturbate into towels and then laugh when I'd see my siblings using the towel.

[allianc3]

I had my hip replaced a year and a half ago and still use my handicap sticker even though I don't really need it.

[MustardTiger17]

I'm getting so strong that I'm starting to fear my own strength. I fear that it's only a matter of time before I hop on creatine.

[Mwizzle]

I ran over a guy when I was 16 and threw his body off the side of a highway cliff, parents were asleep and didn't notice.

[BJaxxon]

I ran over a guy when I was 16 and threw his body off the side of a highway cliff, parents were asleep and didn't notice.

.... bruh

[Mwizzle]

.... bruh

It was in Bangladesh, he would have died regardless. No hospital around, made it easy for him.

[okay97]

I ran over a guy when I was 16 and threw his body off the side of a highway cliff, parents were asleep and didn't notice.

It was in Bangladesh, he would have died regardless. No hospital around, made it easy for him.

[zzfh]

i'm on creatine.

[MigosVersache]

i sucked a guy's dick when i was drunk

[MrGreenTea]

In high school, for calculus tests, i would write the formulas in the spaces between the buttons on my calculator. The calculator was black and i used a lead pencil, so it was only visible when light was reflecting off of it.

[ChiBearsfan]

I went in for a physical at my doctor's office today, and he stuck his finger in my agnus.

It was not pleasant, and he did not kiss me afterwards.

He told me that in 10 years he would be doing it with a hose.

[Unfinishedsenta]

That vid with that cupcake sloot and her dog gave me a huge boner

[Ravishing_Rick]

alots of fuked up sh*t and also alot of smart ways to cheat in this thread

[BioDiver]

I'm a manlet.

[-Lucifer]

I look at myself in the shower and say, "damn, I'm sexy".

[icomesb4u]

i schit on the floor in my parents house then blame it on the dog

[notbadnotbrad]

I used to take my parents car out in grade 8 at the age of 12.

[ShouldersBrahh]

i had a wet dream last night

[YogayPants]

I'm your father.

[wrjr79]

I watched an old sex tape of my last GF getting smashed, and masturbated to it. Then I showed a friend.

[ZeusBastard]

- put a gun to some sloot's face when she said she would sue me because i punched her a little too hard
that's the reason i'll NEVER drink alcohol again, i'll never forgive myself for that

[UnderwearBandit]

Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I am a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I close my eyes, but I can still see her teddies bouncing...

When I was ten, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goat chit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was twelve I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackas and a honeycomb into a brothel...