Constructive critism or men being men

[beckhiggins16]

Hi i have just started training, i really enjoy lifting heavy im 5ft and around about 190lbs, i train with my parter as often as possible as he does push me alot and people tend to watch or leave us to it but as soon as i walk into the gym alone, an approach the weights men look at me like why are you here, some feel the need to come over and say you need to adjust this and do this or the best one... Women shouldnt be lifting heavy weights, i understand sometimes they are trying to help but when its a cocky lad who i can lift more and press more weight than he can annoys me! Do other females have this issue ??? So im clear not all men just some

[hope27]

When I'm lifting, I tend to ignore unsolicited advice from guys I don't know. I know what I am doing. I know how to lift. I know what my goals are. Usually, I just listen and say thank you and keep doing my own thing. That being said, I know people in my gym and if a guy I knows comes up to me with a suggestion especially about my form, I tend to take it seriously. I would just keep doing your thing and not let other people's opinions influence you.

[leeniepie]

I'm sure I've been given a few 'looks' as there are only about 3 women who go into the free weights area at my gym, but I don't really make eye contact with anyone, I just do my thing.
only one guy has ever offered advice to me and I just said thanks and carried on, then he came over and took the weight out of my hands and said 'no, like this' and proceeded to demonstrate what he'd said (as if I was too dumb to get it!) I just smiled then I just ignored him.
some ppl do honestly think they're helping - but then I see soooo much bad technique from the guys, but I wouldn't go up to them and go 'if you carry on like that you're going to pop a disc' - its none of my business.

just ignore them or say, 'thanks but im fine' and carry on

[LunaLifts]

Some guys just have to do their "macho man" thing, just trying telling them politely you want to be left alone, and if they continue, be flat out rude and ignore them. Pop in some headphones, and tune them out. You're there for you, don't let a few holes put a damper on that.

[sy2502]

Hi i have just started training, i really enjoy lifting heavy im 5ft and around about 190lbs, i train with my parter as often as possible as he does push me alot and people tend to watch or leave us to it but as soon as i walk into the gym alone, an approach the weights men look at me like why are you here, some feel the need to come over and say you need to adjust this and do this or the best one... Women shouldnt be lifting heavy weights, i understand sometimes they are trying to help but when its a cocky lad who i can lift more and press more weight than he can annoys me! Do other females have this issue ??? So im clear not all men just some

I always have my earphones on the whole time I am in the gym, and I put on my "don't mess with me" face. I have been approached very few times, maybe only once to tell me I should do it different, in which case I didn't even take my earbuds out, I just ignored the guy and kept doing what I was doing. Any guy who approached me at the gym to tell me women shouldn't lift would have to go retrieve his own testicles from across the room. I am guessing your general attitude and demeanor in the gym will determine if you get bothered or not.

[Jodie10]

Ditto the earbuds advice-earphones in? Not talking.

[maeva27]

When I'm lifting, I tend to ignore unsolicited advice from guys I don't know. I know what I am doing. I know how to lift. I know what my goals are. Usually, I just listen and say thank you and keep doing my own thing. That being said, I know people in my gym and if a guy I knows comes up to me with a suggestion especially about my form, I tend to take it seriously. I would just keep doing your thing and not let other people's opinions influence you.

I've been very lucky and not once did a man come up to me saying 'women shouldn't lift heavy weights'. Quite the opposite, people have been friendly and I've gotten compliments (in a non-creepy or flirty way). I've had unsolicited advice a few times about how I should do things but I usually don't care, because I come to this board for advice instead Oh and also it's funny that the couple of times I've received 'advice/tips' it was from people who are doing the same thing over and over for years and clearly NOT achieving results. There are obviously people I would take advice from at my gym (and I had, in the past), but usually those are the people who keep to themselves and do their own thing.

Like others have said, I have my earphones in all the time, and I log my sets on my phone so I guess I look busy. I'm sorry but I am at the gym to train, not chat, and I have limited gym time so I'd rather not waste it getting advice from people who don't know what my goals are.

[McNeelz]

Yeah, I have the same problem occasionally. A lot of people at my gym know who I am and have seen me around, and most of the time, I think I intimidate the average bro enough that he won't come near me. But there's always that guy who thinks that all women in the weight room are lost. I usually smile and ignore their input, but I recently had an encounter where I felt totally justified in telling the guy off.

I was benching 120 lbs 3x5 with an AMRAP for my fourth set, and on my third set, I was slowly grinding out my last rep when some guy I've never seen comes up behind me to spot me and puts his hands on my bar. I exhale to tell him to go away, lose tension and momentum, then fail the rep. I was livid. I didn't yell at him or anything, but I made sure he knew that I was angry and that he shouldn't do it again.

That's not to say that all guys who offer advice/suggestions aren't worth listening to though. I'm friends with several male lifters who know what they're talking about, and these exchanges usually go both ways.

[LexiHexi]

I'm not sure I understand what your issue is. If you think guys are looking at you and thinking why is she over here, that's probably all in your head. Being self-conscious when you first start hitting the gym solo for weight training is normal. For the most part, no one cares what you're doing. If a guy approaches you to help you with your form, you are free to take and listen to his advice or tell him thanks but no thanks. Personally, if he seems knowledgeable than I'd usually take advantage of his help. Otherwise, just get in there, do your routine, and get out. Keep a one track mind and don't let people around you distract you.

Now if your issue a cocky lad who gets mad because you are pushing more weight than him, than can't tell if srs.

[rockangel]

All you have to do is say "im fine, thanks" and then start doing your own thing and go back to ignoring them. After that, they wont come up to you.

Headphones in, head down, and people will leave you alone.

In general i have found that men are more afraid of offending me than actually correcting me in anything. the young dudes tend to be the ones that want to act like they know it all, but tend to drift away after a polite, im fine thanks, and ignore.

Although i will say that if you sit there and listen to them or engage them in some way, it will continue.

The rest i believe is in your head. no one really cares what you do and if they are looking at you, its because few women lift in most gyms, not because you can "out lift" them.

[1CuteKeister]

It's been years on years since anyone tried to critique my form, I'm very textbook with my form and rarely stray from that. I'd suggest just telling them you dont need their advice when they do try to critique. It's what I've done in the past, gets them off my case about the issue.

[kimm4]

Nope. I've been training at an all guy's gym for close to 3 decades and have never been approached.

[sy2502]

Nope. I've been training at an all guy's gym for close to 3 decades and have never been approached.

Am I the only one who's not surprised? :P

[viccles007]

No one has approached me either. I probably do give off a 'leave me alone' vibe though :P

[thehobbes]

x3 no one ever bothers me either. Some people have that nice/friendly vibe so people are drawn to approach them... I am not one of those people lol. Also headphones yes. I do that at the grocery store too srs. Had a spurt where every time I'd go freaking grocery shopping people would ask me where stuff is, surely they didn't think I worked there as I'm always wearing basketball shorts, some sort of beat up supplement t-shirt, and a baseball hat. How the holy hell would I possibly know where the cinnamon is?! I put in earbuds and don't even plug them into anything to listen to, just shove em down my shorts, no one interupts me now as I gleefully squeeze the peaches.

[penny0527]

Hi i have just started training, i really enjoy lifting heavy im 5ft and around about 190lbs, i train with my parter as often as possible as he does push me alot and people tend to watch or leave us to it but as soon as i walk into the gym alone, an approach the weights men look at me like why are you here, some feel the need to come over and say you need to adjust this and do this or the best one... Women shouldnt be lifting heavy weights, i understand sometimes they are trying to help but when its a cocky lad who i can lift more and press more weight than he can annoys me! Do other females have this issue ??? So im clear not all men just some

A few times at my weekend gym I have been given "pointers" when I was new there. Never at my regular gym. It makes them feel special to tell others what they should be doing. Just disregard them.

[Partyrocking]

Sometimes I get compliments from the trainers. I never got anyone trying to tell me what to do, well other than my mother, but what can you do.

[CAJASON]

It's men being men. I have been going to the same gym for years, almost no one speaks to me (I look like a hard ass I guess) but the first time I bring in my girlfriend all the sudden we're very popular with the lads. It's pathetic.

[Stirts]

No one comes near me at the gym...but then I have been blessed with a "Resting bitch face"

You need to practice your "Resting bitch face"

[melDorado]

I just put up with it and carry on. Don't really listen unless they look particularly hench then I might try out what they suggest if it seems reasonable.
Guys ask to spot me which is useful really because they can unrack for me but I tell them strictly first exactly when they should touch my bar!