anybody here have experience dating a borderline personality disorder woman?

[Swiftor]

some women are worse than death, these types certainly are, holy chit, pls stay the fuk far away as u can, u will suffer

[exyl]

The guys saying all women have BPD have never encountered a woman with actual BPD.

[MisterOldPea]

think i had sex with a chick who had bpd, still remember when she stayed at mine for few days, had to go home and next thing i know she takes an overdose and ends up in hospital for the zillionth time

[REN0183]

I revived this since it's in a "general" category. I'm new, but I do bodybuild. I recently found out at 33 years old that I am BPD and female, and I was looking for info on the web.

I found it interesting reading a man's perspective on this disorder. There's no place to find more men than BB.com and there's a ton of threads on this. I only know this from my POV. And frankly, if you think dating/marrying a BPD woman is hell, you should live IN her own body. There's a reason it has a high suicide rate.

Anyway, I find the lack of awareness of what it IS to be interesting and the "chick will boil your rabbit" takeaway to be interesting. Also the "run as fast as you can" remark to also be interesting.

I have seen and heard that men need therapy after dealing with these women.

I think, not that it matters but as a BPD sufferer, all men need to do is just give them more attention that they won't leave them. Send them an extra two or three or four texts per day. Remember, this is not a female that will think you are clingy, this is a female that needs you to be clingy. Flowers, gifts, etc. Just shower her with attention before she has any chance of thinking that your inability to call her when she says doesn't mean you are leaving, and if you can't, when you do call just be like "OMG, I'm so sorry I was going to call but I got caught up. How are you? Did you miss me? You know I'll be home soon or can't wait for this weekend! What's up?"

It's not that hard. If she gets later on to where she's thinking of cheating, she's feeling sick. She's feeling probably invisible, unloved and depressed. SHOWER her with more attention then.

Above all, if she's not seeing a therapist or on meds, you should likely not date her. But if she's the former, she's OK. I've been married 10 years with BPD. My husband says that's why he loves me. So...if any other men want to talk about their experiences with BPD's i'd be interested in hearing it. I truly feel horrible that I Have it, I feel like a monster. So keep that in mind, the women are terribly suffering whether they know they have it or not.

There are pro's. The Pro's are if you are a nice man, and you are not a player or immature (only you know that) and you treat her right, you are understanding and you come to her beck and call and feed her when she is so weak she can't feed herself or you hold her after she's cut herself and can't get the bleeding to stop, she WILL reward you with probably the most love, adoration and affection any human being is capable of doing. But if you abuse her, her nature to overreact might leave all your things broken or your clothing in a fire pit while she roasts marshmallows and tells everyone social media you are a cheater/scum/whatever. She may even call the police and tell them you beat on her, when her injuries are self inflicted. Which is why it's important to recognize self harm and you call for help if a woman is hurting herself like that. Don't just watch the "crazy b*tch go nuts" you could be saving a life if she gets committed. And saving yourself a lot of issues.

Marilyn Monroe was a textbook BPD. She slept with JFK once and he refused her calls after that. It made her insane because he made her feel like she was worthless. In his eyes, she was a notch in his belt, to her, it was crushing. She then slept with his brother the day he came to Hollywood to tell her to please stop calling the President. A day or two later, she was dead. The sad thing is during her life after her marriage to DiMaggio, even though it only lasted 9 months, he came to her side every time she needed help. No matter the man, no matter the circumstance. And his dying words were "I now get to be with my Marilyn". So, just remember, even if you can't be in a relationship with them, consoling them and comforting them can mean everything. She likely lived as long as she did because Joe was there to help her pick up her pieces, even after he divorced her and she was sleeping with/married to other men. He also arranged her funeral and twice weekly until he died, had someone place freshly cut flowers on her grave, because when they were married, that's what she said she wanted if she ever died. So, you can deeply love and have some form of satisfying relationship with a BPD woman.

Also a misconception is that we were abused. Not all of us were. I've been BPD since I was a kid, maybe 5 I remember having sadness, rage and bouts of anger I couldn't control which would lead me to punching things, my favorite was a grate on a heater which would scratch my hands. I was in elementary school. IDK where the rage or anger or sadness came from. It just....came. Most of my life I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder, which I do have, but they missed the BPD because the anxiety and panic was masking the rest of the symptoms. I do find I'm nicer on benzo's. If that's any help to anyone who may want to know what you could do for your girlfriend. And marijuana, it was helpful when I smoked years ago. It am an attractive female, and so I have been able to use my looks to get many dates and many men have/would look over my personality to keep me around. It helped in many ways, but, I always left them before they could leave me. My motto was, everyone will break your heart, so don't give it to them, and kick them to the curb before they can do the same to you. :/

My husband jokingly but seriously at the same time sing songs a little nursery rhyme about me "When she was good, she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid.". It's not cute, but, my doctor says the best form of therapy is if you can talk about and make light or "fun" of your own illness.

[SweetPetals]

she's not taking any meds. some of these posts are scaring me even more. they are master manipulators. but do they know they are manipulating?

Tbh no. And that's what makes it so unbearable. I have a friend with it and she I'd very sweet, but she has/had the habit of manipulating without really realizing it. She has gotten a lot of therapy and she's changed a lot. The trouble is, with this mental illness they don't realize they're mentally ill. They can't recover without admitting to their real issues.

[TheBrentmeister]

Run away OP.

She will first paint you "white", and you will be the object of her obsession and her savior. She only sees awesome things about you.

Then there will come a day.... maybe next week, maybe next year, maybe 5 years from now...... but she will snap and then paint you "black" and won't want anything to do with you anymore and she will focus on all the bad about you and monkey branch to something/someone else and repeat the process.

She might also self-harm. Good luck for you if she ever calls the cops and blames you for her self inflicted crap.

This man speaks the truth

[EboBebo]

I revived this since it's in a "general" category. I'm new, but I do bodybuild. I recently found out at 33 years old that I am BPD and female, and I was looking for info on the web.

I found it interesting reading a man's perspective on this disorder. There's no place to find more men than BB.com and there's a ton of threads on this. I only know this from my POV. And frankly, if you think dating/marrying a BPD woman is hell, you should live IN her own body. There's a reason it has a high suicide rate.

Anyway, I find the lack of awareness of what it IS to be interesting and the "chick will boil your rabbit" takeaway to be interesting. Also the "run as fast as you can" remark to also be interesting.

I have seen and heard that men need therapy after dealing with these women.

I think, not that it matters but as a BPD sufferer, all men need to do is just give them more attention that they won't leave them. Send them an extra two or three or four texts per day. Remember, this is not a female that will think you are clingy, this is a female that needs you to be clingy. Flowers, gifts, etc. Just shower her with attention before she has any chance of thinking that your inability to call her when she says doesn't mean you are leaving, and if you can't, when you do call just be like "OMG, I'm so sorry I was going to call but I got caught up. How are you? Did you miss me? You know I'll be home soon or can't wait for this weekend! What's up?"

It's not that hard. If she gets later on to where she's thinking of cheating, she's feeling sick. She's feeling probably invisible, unloved and depressed. SHOWER her with more attention then.

Above all, if she's not seeing a therapist or on meds, you should likely not date her. But if she's the former, she's OK. I've been married 10 years with BPD. My husband says that's why he loves me. So...if any other men want to talk about their experiences with BPD's i'd be interested in hearing it. I truly feel horrible that I Have it, I feel like a monster. So keep that in mind, the women are terribly suffering whether they know they have it or not.

There are pro's. The Pro's are if you are a nice man, and you are not a player or immature (only you know that) and you treat her right, you are understanding and you come to her beck and call and feed her when she is so weak she can't feed herself or you hold her after she's cut herself and can't get the bleeding to stop, she WILL reward you with probably the most love, adoration and affection any human being is capable of doing. But if you abuse her, her nature to overreact might leave all your things broken or your clothing in a fire pit while she roasts marshmallows and tells everyone social media you are a cheater/scum/whatever. She may even call the police and tell them you beat on her, when her injuries are self inflicted. Which is why it's important to recognize self harm and you call for help if a woman is hurting herself like that. Don't just watch the "crazy b*tch go nuts" you could be saving a life if she gets committed. And saving yourself a lot of issues.

Marilyn Monroe was a textbook BPD. She slept with JFK once and he refused her calls after that. It made her insane because he made her feel like she was worthless. In his eyes, she was a notch in his belt, to her, it was crushing. She then slept with his brother the day he came to Hollywood to tell her to please stop calling the President. A day or two later, she was dead. The sad thing is during her life after her marriage to DiMaggio, even though it only lasted 9 months, he came to her side every time she needed help. No matter the man, no matter the circumstance. And his dying words were "I now get to be with my Marilyn". So, just remember, even if you can't be in a relationship with them, consoling them and comforting them can mean everything. She likely lived as long as she did because Joe was there to help her pick up her pieces, even after he divorced her and she was sleeping with/married to other men. He also arranged her funeral and twice weekly until he died, had someone place freshly cut flowers on her grave, because when they were married, that's what she said she wanted if she ever died. So, you can deeply love and have some form of satisfying relationship with a BPD woman.

Also a misconception is that we were abused. Not all of us were. I've been BPD since I was a kid, maybe 5 I remember having sadness, rage and bouts of anger I couldn't control which would lead me to punching things, my favorite was a grate on a heater which would scratch my hands. I was in elementary school. IDK where the rage or anger or sadness came from. It just....came. Most of my life I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder, which I do have, but they missed the BPD because the anxiety and panic was masking the rest of the symptoms. I do find I'm nicer on benzo's. If that's any help to anyone who may want to know what you could do for your girlfriend. And marijuana, it was helpful when I smoked years ago. It am an attractive female, and so I have been able to use my looks to get many dates and many men have/would look over my personality to keep me around. It helped in many ways, but, I always left them before they could leave me. My motto was, everyone will break your heart, so don't give it to them, and kick them to the curb before they can do the same to you. :/

My husband jokingly but seriously at the same time sing songs a little nursery rhyme about me "When she was good, she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid.". It's not cute, but, my doctor says the best form of therapy is if you can talk about and make light or "fun" of your own illness.

This is pure insanity. Look at all that mixed emotion in just one post. Good luck with that for 40 years. Meanwhile you can't get ahead at work because you need to text her 30 times a day.

[REN0183]

How are BPD women more manipulative than normal women? srs
I'm aware of their tendency to self harm and use idealization/devaluation, but how do they manipulate?

Edit: nvm Just read Devine's story.

BPD's don't manipulate unless they are also a high mach. What seems like manipulation IS legitimate emotion. When she says she adores you, loves you, you're the best thing to ever happen to her, etc she is actually FEELING that in her brain. It's real. But what happens is she's afraid you will leave her. And having BPD means that there's this sort of dark voice telling her she's ugly, not good enough, not lovable, etc and even when she's single sometimes that voice overpowers her and she might self harm or kill herself. If she thinks YOU will leave her, that means the darkness WILL return. And she's already danced with the devil long enough that she can't let YOU let the darkness come back in when it's hard enough for HER to keep it at bay.

Essentially she will self sabotage and make you think she hates you, destroy the relationship and burn that bridge which hurts LESS for her than if YOU leave. And also, she knows if she does that, she might not commit suicide as a result. Ultimately, she doesn't want to have to lie in bed a week, lose her job, or worse, kill herself, because you broke up with her. That's the mind of the BPD. It's not manipulation. It just seems that way to you.

And since sex and drugs are two things BPD's use to ease the pain of having BPD, because the endorphins feel good, essentially, she'll have scouted out another man to give her a supply of sex before she even cuts it off with you. To make sure that when she does do the deed, she has that sex to keep her from feeling "bad" feels. It keeps the darkness and the devil at bay, and in essence, it's saving her from another suicide attempt. There's no medication for BPD, so BPD's self medicate this way. It's like bridging when your doctor takes you from one medicine that's addictive to another and you don't want a withdrawal. I would say using sex is easy for a woman. It's easy for women to get laid, and it's "free". Gambling is another way to deal with the pain of BPD or shopping, but she may not have the money to spend on those reckless activities. So, sex it is. And since most men actually DO have a hard time differentiating between sex and "feels" and good sex (which is almost nearly always certain with a "crazy" woman) is even worse because the new man gets all sort of emotions from essentially just being used for sex. Which is why I think females should be open and say "this is just sex" so the male can't complain later when he develops feels.

[REN0183]

This is pure insanity. Look at all that mixed emotion in just one post. Good luck with that for 40 years. Meanwhile you can't get ahead at work because you need to text her 30 times a day.

LOL well we do pretty good. We both hold several college degrees and government jobs so it's ok with "getting ahead".

Hey, it's ridiculous for sure. If you can't do it, you can't do it. Just thought a perspective from the female would be nice. Since not too many BPD females are willing to be like, yep, this is how totally ****ed up a BPD is.

But, if you think it's ridiculous, a BPD isn't for you. And that's ok. Don't date one. I'm not saying you should all get your toes wet. LOL.

It is pure insanity. Did I say it wasn't. Now, imagine BEING the person with BPD. We actually know we are crazy, and we feel like monsters about it. I've been married 10 years. IDK if I'll be alive another 40 considering I'm 33. But, ten years is longer than some people who don't have BPD LOL. Some "normal" people in marriages don't last a year.

There's BPD women looking for Mr. Right. Then there's BPD women who have been in therapy long enough that we know Mr. Right doesn't happen because no man can ever meet our unrealistic expectations and make us feel totally loved. At this point, if I were a single female at my age I'd just find a man that I knew was clean and had some self respect and be like "I'm single, you are single, I can't do relationships but I need sex so if you want to be a solid bootey call for me, we can exchange numbers". They can come over, do me, and get out. I would spare them my insanity. But I've also been in therapy for over a decade and have coping skills that I can use from my anxiety that work well for BPD. Not all women would be that forward. For me, MR. Right is a combination of Mr. *****, Mr. Vodka, Mr. Sleep, an actual human male, and at times, sadly, Mr. Knife. I have no desire to hurt any person, mentally or physically. Except for myself. I punish the hell out of myself for being ****ed up. I am ashamed and I hate that I can't change it.

Of course then men might think "What kind of sloot only wants to be screwed but not in a relationship". Well, one who knows she will hurt you, that's who.

[Jizmeister]

The problem with BPD is that these people are so far gone it's a monumental task to come back from it.

People can live with OCD, bipolar, maybe even anger problems or whatever. BPD reminds me of that woman from Requiem for a Dream (the one who takes all the pills). Not because the disorder is the same, but because when you're that far gone down that road, you're stuck there for the rest of your life.

[REN0183]

The problem with BPD is that these people are so far gone it's a monumental task to come back from it.

People can live with OCD, bipolar, maybe even anger problems or whatever. BPD reminds me of that woman from Requiem for a Dream (the one who takes all the pills). Not because the disorder is the same, but because when you're that far gone down that road, you're stuck there for the rest of your life.

Yes. That's because BPD is a personality disorder. It's like Narcissism, Psychopathy or Machs. You can't medicate away a person's personality disorder. Ted Bundy, he would have done what he did with or without therapy. And pharmaceuticals wouldn't have stopped him.

I tested very high in psychopathy and high in machavelian personality disorder as well as BPD. I go in and out between caring about people, and not caring at all. It depends on the situation. If you mess with my child, my money, or my family I'll do you in and I won't feel bad about it at all. But this is about relationships, and people overreacting to something like you falling asleep and didn't text them therefore their Earth shattered because suddenly they felt like they weren't wanted by you. That's the BPD. In essence, BPD feels TOO much, regardless of the feels. Psychopathy feels NOTHING and doesn't care if you live or die. And a high mach will walk all over you and manipulate you to death in order to get ahead. They will gather all the info about you, and hold it, until they know to play the cards to their advantage.

If you find a BPD female that used your weakness against you, it's likely she may even be a high mach. I am certain a person with one personality disorder may also have others with it.

My husband is a high mach and a sociopath. But nobody is sure if he's a sociopath from having gone to war or if he was one before he went to war. But one thing is for sure, his empathy is pretty low compared to the general population.

I find that any medication that calms a person down can stop a woman's rage associated with BPD. But it can't stop the depression. An antidepressant can alleviate the depression part, it may keep her from committing suicide, but the rage, you can lessen that with CNS depressants.

My doctor gave me a "mad" pill as he calls it. It's an anti psychotic. If I start to feel all ragey I take it, then it makes me pass out for like 10 hours. And that's not joke. Knocked the **** out. I take that on top of the ***** that i take daily for anxiety disorder. I think it's for people who have schizophrenia but he says that anyone can take it as needed if you get the idea that you want to take a baseball bat to your house. It gives one time to pass out, then wake up and possibly THINK a little and not over react.

The thing is a woman has to know she has the problem and be in therapy for it to be able to use some decent coping skills. Most women don't know they have it. Most women feel abused by men who they have encountered who are either players, *******s, or who didn't know how to handle them and crushed them. It takes likely hitting rock bottom, a suicide attempt and then a good doctor to get them some treatment. Then it takes a woman trusting her doctor to stay in. Many women will look at a doctor the same way they do any other relationship, the minute she doesn't like something the doctor says or doesn't trust them they will kick them to the curb and then go back to using/abusing etc to get their supply.

[Jizmeister]

Here's a question for y'all:

Why is it that so many people (this thread is somewhat evidence of it) in this day and age suffer with this ****? You never saw not nearly as much of it in our grandparents' generation. My dad commented the other day about school shootings/mass murder and all this other psychologically ****ed up stuff going on. He never heard about any of it when he was a kid.

I blame liberalism, the sexual revolution and social media srs

[REN0183]

Here's a question for y'all:

Why is it that so many people (this thread is somewhat evidence of it) in this day and age suffer with this ****? You never saw not nearly as much of it in our grandparents' generation. My dad commented the other day about school shootings/mass murder and all this other psychologically ****ed up stuff going on. He never heard about any of it when he was a kid.

I blame liberalism, the sexual revolution and social media srs

Eh, no. In our grandparents generation we had all these issues but psychiatric care was horrid. I mean, they still don't even know how antidepressants REALLY work and for me, I'm on ***** every day which is an off label treatment. And nobody knows really what that does to the body yet, we are just now realizing it may cause dementia.

So, it's that we know more now than we did "back then". It's that we have better healthcare than we did "back then" which means more people seek treatment. It's that we have the internet which means we can learn about things we were only limited to in an encyclopedia and it's that the stigma on mental health is ever so slowly being lifted.

My great grand mother pulled the wings off of wasps and put them in the bed of a person who she didn't like. Do you think she was just "mean". Hell no, that woman was a psychopath! But, where was she going to go? Who was going to help her? And, likely, I inherited my disorder.

Now, the internet and social media can cause depression or anxiety. Think about it. We aren't in person so we can be as mean as we want. Which promotes anxiety and depression in a lot of people. If you look at all the people in history who killed people, robbed banks, or were serial killers, wife beaters, etc, they had serious mental disorders. Van Gogh sawed off his own ear because he had tinnitus and thought it would make it stop. Abraham Lincoln was a manic depressive. At least, that's what history says he likely had.

And that's not taking into account Greece and Rome and their practices of child sex abuse, incest and using violence as a means of social entertainment. Instead of fighting animals to the death, they fought humans against animals to the death. And then our English ancestors married and sexed their own family members, to keep the royal bloodline "pure". No, we've always been screwed up.

In the case of children who commit suicide from bullying I have no doubt the internet plays a huge role. And this is why my child is NOT allowed on social media, will not have a social media account, and does not get to make youtube videos, etc. When they are 18, they can have whatever the thing is for that time. But until then, NO internet other than for studies, period.

For BPD, they do think BPD may be a newer thing. However, I feel my own mother has BPD but she was a stay at home mom. Everything revolved around what she wanted/said because she held the house down. Dad brought home the bacon, my mom did the rest. He treated her as top dog, so she didn't have any "issues". I mean, she was spoiled by my dad as much as he could possibly afford to spoil her. But, had she been forced to work, and be stressed because now it takes two incomes, and maybe had a man who wanted to boss her around and do the "woman, you do this you do that" to her, she'd likely have had a fit. Luckily for me, and her, my dad was just happy with a beer, the tv, and some dinner and a clean home. I feel it takes a simple, easy to please male to deal with a complex, hard to please woman. And it takes a simple woman to deal with a hard to please male.

[nail clipper]

Ex was diagnosed slight bipolar disorder. At first everything was great, then she became always bitchy and hard to please. I wanted out for so long but got wrapped up in feels. Plus she had a really nice body.

However, she cheated on me after 2 year relationship. Wouldn't be surprised if she did during as well.

Later on when I went NC she swallowed a bunch of pills and left like 15 voicemails about it. Have stayed far away. The whole thing left me a shell of a man for a while. It took me a while to regain my composure and confidence in this world.

I would stay away, just like every single
person in this thread is saying

[REN0183]

Ex was diagnosed slight bipolar disorder. At first everything was great, then she became always bitchy and hard to please. I wanted out for so long but got wrapped up in feels. Plus she had a really nice body.

However, she cheated on me after 2 year relationship. Wouldn't be surprised if she did during as well.

Later on when I went NC she swallowed a bunch of pills and left like 15 voicemails about it. Have stayed far away. The whole thing left me a shell of a man for a while. It took me a while to regain my composure and confidence in this world.

I would stay away, just like every single
person in this thread is saying

The cheating can really hurt people. I have heard bipolar can be very hard.

Once I got my diagnosis of BPD for sure I felt horrible. I was relieved, though, I wasn't bipolar. But I finally knew WHY I was so...just....not right. And the knowing why helped me a lot to sort of stop going off the deep end. If I knew why I was feeling the way I was, I could talk myself down out of it, sort of.

I felt pretty bad for people, not just men, but some actual friends too, that I treated badly and I didn't even know I was doing it. Some men, they were players and totally deserved it, but many were not.

Your ex's may know or may not. A lot feel shameful about it and want to apologize but it's better to leave well enough alone. Or if they do apologize, people think it's another ploy to reel people back into their web.

For me, I always felt like men were playing. But in reality they wasn't always playing, it was just that I was expecting more affection sooner rather than at the "right" time which made me think they was playing games with me. Which made me worse. I felt like men had no feelings, because of this idea in my head that they were playing with me. And so finding out what men thought about BPD, and hearing over and over "I needed therapy" "she ruined me" "she brought me to my knees" made me realize that WOW, not only does BPD destroy the female who has it, literally, and kill her sometimes, it also destroys the men who try to love them too.

I kind of felt insulted and sad when I kept seeing over and over that women with BPD were unworthy of love, or "run far away" like we have smallpox. But after reading the horror stories, it's hard for a man to say "Oh yeah, try it out" when some have literally gone to jail for accusations of rape and battery for literally nothing. So, then, somebody needs to step up the game and try harder from a medical perspective to help people with BPD more, so that women with BPD can communicate what's wrong with them, and men can choose from the start and also so the women can learn coping mechanisms and the men can learn ways to phrase things that don't trigger a melt down. Like, maybe you want to go out Friday with your friends and watch a game. You could say to some women "Nah, we're not gonna go out tonight because i'm going with my boys ttyl!" and a "normal" female would be like...oh...that's fine. But a BPD would be like "OMG, he's lost interest in me, he hates me." She would text you a million times that night trying to get your attention. What a man could say is something like "Hey i'm going to a game with my boys tonight, why don't you get a movie or go out with some of your girls, and then maybe saturday or sunday we can meet up (your pick) and do whatever you want." That would make all the difference and it's not that hard.

[kopikum]

yeah, you break up with her and find a sane girl to share your life with

[towzer]

Holy fuark, so much truth in this thread. Was with a BPD girl for 2 years, I broke up with her 2.5 years ago and still remember all the messed up stuff that went on. When we broke up I hated her because just being away from her grasp for 48 hours lifted the haze from my eyes and I realised how manipulative she'd been, 2.5 years later I don't hate her any more - I just feel sorry for her and hope she somehow sorts herself out. If I wasn't so head-strong I think she'd have destroyed me.

Anyone that says "don't all girls have that hurr hurr" don't realise that while most girls are 'crazy', BPD girls are on a whole other level.

[chkm]

Yes, together with a "borderline" Girl for 4 1/2 years now.
first two years were good, until I found out the lied all to time to me, smashed her fcking face in, really, threw her sick ass into therapy, smashed her face in again, made her realise what **** behaivour this is,
it mostly came from bad friends, tv Shows, social media and lefty magazines. now she is the best Girl ive ever met, most loving, most normal and so on.
she doesnt have any form of social media, got rid of her eating disorder, doesnt Dress slutty, has NO male friends, doesnt do self harm anymore, doesnt lie anymore and so on but all on her own will
would never marry her but i wouldnt do that in General couldnt imagine a better relationship atm all good

[John_Connor]

I dated one for 3 years,dont do it get out while you still can!

Just glancing over some of the other comments and it all rings true,same **** happened to me from her.

[sk1nnyboy]

any guy who's ever dated any woman has experience with this

[REN0183]

Most girls seem crazy because of our hormonal shifts which can cause us to be moody. Men and women are different, period. The things one or the other do drive the other ones crazy. Used to women would be quiet, now we voice our opinions and wants. A lot of times a woman who isn't vapid is "crazy" because we would assert ourselves if we felt we wasn't being treated well.

I wouldn't wish myself on any man who wasn't 100% ok with my "problems" from the get go. Or at least giving me a shot. I've never been much into "dating" because with anxiety and BPD I never felt comfortable in a relationship. Two men worked out with me, both were rich, both liked to flaunt and shower me with money and gifts, so it wasn't an issue. I had to butt heads with a lot of men in the past.

I never did anything "crazy" to any man until years later and there was 5 thousand dollars missing from an account which was half my money and I did smash their ****, burned their clothes and then made them work and pay that money back. But the money was used for drugs, of all things. So, I felt that I was justified in a way. Who likes to have 5 grand stolen from them so somebody can go get high. Not going ot say that was the BPD. I am saying it could just be my temper and they messed with my money.

Even though I have BPD most of it is internal. Like, one day I'll be depressed and stay in bed all day, don't talk to me, leave me alone, or some other day i just don't want to be talked to. I'm internally struggling with feelings of low self worth. The sad part is men tell me I'm a very beautiful woman. I see myself as beautiful. I have money and I dress in very high fashionable clothing. The dressing like a "sloot" not my style. I dress in mostly long sleeves, knee length skirts, high heels, tight cardi's, very mad men ish or grungy or metal ish. I don't like looking like a slut, i like being very vogue and chic and doing my own style. I also never talk because i have social anxiety. Don't drink, don't party, etc.

I just really need to feel loved, wanted and respected more so than the average female. And it breaks my heart into pieces if one tiny thing happens. After being married now there's no way my husband can hurt me. Like, I'm fine. But lets say it was a new relationship, I would be on pins and needles looking for any sign i was getting ****ed over and the minute I even thought they was being douch-y I would dump them, then give them a piece of my mind. Then, secretly I'd go lie in bed a day and cry wondering why i would be discarded since I'm so pretty, smart, sweet and a high quality female. High quality as in, i have a Master's a job, I'm clean, I am not a sloot, and I take care of my business. And then I'd see the guy with like, some tart. I've also scared men off by just telling them I wanted to stop off at the book store and pick up a new book, and would get excited about the book. I had a man once say "You are too smart for me", "you are too deep for me" and even "I think you are too hot for me". It totally CRUSHED me. What's wrong with being smart, liking deep conversations about science and being hot? Don't men wank it to playboy models? Isn't hot good? It totally crushed me. But I didn't let it make me less hot. I just kept on being smart, hot and deep. Eventually a few men dug it, one such guy had an arm of tattoos of nothing but the Dark Tower series of Stephen King's books. Deep, that's deep, IMO. He wasn't scared of me, and interestingly I NEVER had any weird BPD with him even when we stopped talking. I just was like...oh...well he's just not into me. But he didn't make me feel destroyed.

Girls who are not pretty get made fun of and it hurts them. And I've found that if men find you really pretty they don't want you either. I think i'm like a 6 but a lot of men have said i'm around an 8 and some even a 10. Maybe I'm more than a 6, but, I am humble about it. I'm flattered, really, and it seems the farther up the spectrum of hotness the less men want to do with you. And, it's kind of lonely. I keep seeing this pattern of BPD girls being hot. Being good in bed. And it makes me wonder if us BPD's are so used to being rejected over and over that we walk around with a little bit of PTSD that it's going to keep happening.

I always read a man would rather a girl not be too hot, he's afraid she will cheat. But I grew up being a little bit homely and I didn't like it, even though it seemed more men liked me, and more men seemed to ask me out then, rather than when I hit about 20 and blossomed out and men started looking at me like "daaaayyyum". I would never go back to "homely" just to please a man. I will be who I want to be.

One time a man I really liked told me "I'm afraid that you are so hot, that I won't be able to satisfy you. Like, you kind of give me performance anxiety" and I went home and cried. I wanted him to TRY at least and I wasn't going to make fun. But he rejected me. And I looked at my body and my face in the mirror and I wanted to just take a knife and cut my face off. That's what that did to me having BPD. I thought, why be pretty, if I"m ugly people will love me more.

[ANumber1]

Don't die, OP. Run, live.

[sharepass11]

good luck dating carrie mathison

[img]http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1377856/images/o-CLAIRE-DANES-********.jpg[/img]

[hermes3893]

****in' hell yes. Depens of the meds she's on though I guess

There isn't really any meds for BPD by itself.

[RealAesthetic]

I dated one for 5 years, she ruined my life and I ended up in jail, your move op.

[chkm]

I dated one for 5 years, she ruined my life and I ended up in jail, your move op.

cliffs?


also that borderline bish itt, holy phuck, why are People like this even allowed to live?

[REN0183]

cliffs?


also that borderline bish itt, holy phuck, why are People like this even allowed to live?

Because you don't get to be put to death for a personality disorder...... and the same reason we don't kill men who are philanderers.

[Biscophan]

that feel when you read these threads and know you exhibit some of these behaviors...fuark brahs.

[towzer]

Girls who are not pretty get made fun of and it hurts them. And I've found that if men find you really pretty they don't want you either. I think i'm like a 6 but a lot of men have said i'm around an 8 and some even a 10. Maybe I'm more than a 6, but, I am humble about it. I'm flattered, really, and it seems the farther up the spectrum of hotness the less men want to do with you. And, it's kind of lonely. I keep seeing this pattern of BPD girls being hot. Being good in bed. And it makes me wonder if us BPD's are so used to being rejected over and over that we walk around with a little bit of PTSD that it's going to keep happening.

Pics?

[ANumber1]

cliffs?

also that borderline bish itt, holy phuck, why are People like this even allowed to live?

A terrible part of maturity - something that hit me really hard in the last few years - is learning that a high percentage of people are high-functioning nutcases.

They're just out there, and they're everywhere. When you're a kid, you think all the boundaries that people set and all those social rules like "don't talk about politics or religion with acquaintences" are frivolous, snobby, excessive. Later on, you find out that these things are GREAT IDEAS, because people you don't know very well might be completely batchit and you don't know what they'll do once they find out you're voting for Gary Johnson or thinking about converting to Catholicism or something.

"Oh, but she seems really cool and we're fuarking a lot and I might love her, let me tell her my darkest secret. I'm sure she won't use it to destroy me later, she's not like that."

"Oh, he's mean to everybody and steals for weed money but he's really nice to me, so that makes me feel special. I'm different and he'll be different with me."

Nope.

Keeping people you haven't fully vetted at arm's length is almost essential just to avoid getting stabbed by a crazy bish.