Rational discussion: knowing the risks, why get married?

[HotCheetos]

I mean that's fine with me but you're also counting on a woman to not give up when the going gets tough, oh yeah and when she gives up she also gets a fully financed early retirement with usually no consequences

Marriage is not necessary, offers no benefit, and a very very steep risk. It's in fact life ruining for many men and a lot of divorced men commit suicide because of it

Go ahead if you want to but your not a pussy just because your against signing your potential future finance to a woman

And no one can ever be 100% sure that someone will feel the same way 20 years later as they do today. It's risky business

Was not saying you are a pussy for not taking risk, read it again. I was saying that the lack of fight people have to get what they want is the result of the pussification of America. I am in favor of people not getting married if that's not what they want. Hopefully it causes less children growing up in jacked up families.

Yes you are right there is always some risk. The benefit you are asking me about was keeping the woman I care about in my life forever.

[Darknight8519]

Was not saying you are a pussy for not taking risk, read it again. I was saying that the lack of fight people have to get what they want is the result of the pussification of America.

Yes you are right there is always some risk. The benefit you are asking me about was keeping the woman I care about in my life forever.

So in order to keep the woman in your life forever you need to sign a legal contract which she can breach at any time for any reason and take half your chit. Would she not have stayed in your life without signing this one sided contract? If yes then you sure are a lucky man indeed ::sarcasm::

[EndoBrahHurr]

I'm not going to troll in this thread...

However, you realize that you don't need to be married (in the traditional sense) for a woman to 'divorce' you and take some of your assets, right?

Hint: commonlaw marriage

Typically, this means the couple has cohabitated for a period of time—usually a year or more—while having an agreement to be married. Also, they must present themselves to the larger world as husband and wife. As mentioned, common law marriage is not recognized in most states today.

[Darknight8519]

I'm not going to troll in this thread...

However, you realize that you don't need to be married (in the traditional sense) for a woman to 'divorce' you and take some of your assets, right?

Hint: commonlaw marriage

Thank god that is in a minority of states in the USA.

[HotCheetos]

So in order to keep the woman in your life forever you need to sign a legal contract which she can breach at any time for any reason and take half your chit. Would she not have stayed in your life without signing this one sided contract? If yes then you sure are a lucky man indeed ::sarcasm::

I'm not sure if she would have or not, I know she wanted it badly since we started living together. I told her I wouldn't until she was an adult (as in having adult responsibilities) so i waited until she had a college degree and a real job. After that happened she changed a lot (which I expected) and after we had lived together another few years with her having this real job she had done what I wanted and Was really happy with the situation. I decided I wanted to make her just as happy. It was more the decision to do something for a person I care deeply for than anything else.

[EndoBrahHurr]

Thank god that is in a minority of states in the USA.

For how much longer?

I'm not sure if she would have or not, I know she wanted it badly since we started living together. I told her I wouldn't until she was an adult (as in having adult responsibilities) so i waited until she had a college degree and a real job. After that happened she changed a lot (which I expected) and after we had lived together another few years with her having this real job she had done what I wanted and Was really happy with the situation. I decided I wanted to make her just as happy. It was more the decision to do something for a person I care deeply for than anything else.

Congrats on your incoming marriage (no trolling towards either side).

[Darknight8519]

I'm not sure if she would have or not, I know she wanted it badly since we started living together. I told her I wouldn't until she was an adult (as in having adult responsibilities) so i waited until she had a college degree and a real job. After that happened she changed a lot (which I expected) and after we had lived together another few years with her having this real job she had done what I wanted and Was really happy with the situation. I decided I wanted to make her just as happy. It was more the decision to do something for a person I care deeply for than anything else.

How does it make you feel knowing that she would not stay with you unless you signed a one sided contract that totally favors her over you? Would you make her sign a contract like that? Is that something that someone does if they love another person?

"Hey I love you, now please sign this contract that gives me the right to half your chit and a bunch of your money. Yay! Love me!"

You feel lucky about having this arrangement brah?

[Darknight8519]

For how much longer?

Enjoy the decline

[dimassive]

[Drumbells]

I'm not going to troll in this thread...

However, you realize that you don't need to be married (in the traditional sense) for a woman to 'divorce' you and take some of your assets, right?

Hint: commonlaw marriage

Laws vary on this depending where you live, a lot of places don't have it. Also it would take a real bitch to actual file for a common law divorce, and nowhere near as easy for them to fuk you up in court as a normal marriage

Still if I ever move in with a girl I was dating again I'd want to get an anti nuptial agreement signed and keep all our bank account and such seperate just in case

[HotCheetos]

How does it make you feel knowing that she would not stay with you unless you signed a one sided contract that totally favors her over you? Would you make her sign a contract like that? Is that something that someone does if they love another person?

"Hey I love you, now please sign this contract that gives me the right to half your chit and a bunch of your money. Yay! Love me!"

You feel lucky about having this arrangement brah?

Did you not read what I wrote? Not sure what to tell you, I've explained what I did and why including that I don't know if she'd have stuck around or not. Yes it's bull**** courts will almost always completely side with the female. Yes there are a lot of stupid people out there that aren't genuine and honest (not limited to females). I've found one who is genuine and honest and want to make her happy. There is no guarantee she will stay that way obviously, people always change.

[Darknight8519]

give us some tips on how to enjoy this world as it goes to shit, I've got nothing but time.

Couple paths to take as I see it. One, simply maximize hedonistic pleasure as much as possible. As rome burns you mine as well get what you can and as much of it. Another option, one that I am currently taking is "to thy own self be true". I work a job I believe in that benefits society, even if on a macro level I increasingly dislike society. Now that is not completely logical but it is something I find satisfaction in so in a way it goes back to hedonistic, at least a form, of hedonistic pleasure.

I would not go out of my way to fight for any major social cause. The risk is too great. Unless you want to be a martyr it just isn't worth it. Keep your head down and find places where you can maximize pleasure as much as possible. But do not place faith in any major traditional institution like marriage, family, children, etc.

[Darknight8519]

Did you not read what I wrote? Not sure what to tell you, I've explained what I did and why including that I don't know if she'd have stuck around or not. Yes it's bull**** courts will almost always completely side with the female. Yes there are a lot of stupid people out there that aren't genuine and honest (not limited to females). I've found one who is genuine and honest and want to make her happy. There is no guarantee she will stay that way obviously, people always change.

Fair enough. I suppose if it is worth it to you then that is all that counts. Just blows my mind anyone would subject themselves to that kind of one sided contract then consider themselves "lucky" to have found a "good girl". But hey brah, it is your life.

[torpstar711]

Uh I have been in love before and I didn't get married because I decided to pursue a career instead. I don't regret that decision. I am far from a FA virgin as I've likely bedded more women from more diverse backgrounds (business owners, attorneys, bartenders, strippers, all different races, fuked on different continents etc). So try not to assume that simply because I see marriage as a bad investment for men it is only because I "can't get a woman anyway". I don't keep pictures of the women I bang. I don't keep pictures of the women I date. I don't have ******** or any other social media. If you think this therefore invalidates my claim that is up to you.

You had a girlfriend before (assuming so because you said you were in love) and don't have one picture together? Good ****ing joke.

Young, single, relatively in shape men with no kids who are attorneys don't exactly have a tough time finding women who want to be with them. Now I wouldn't say get married "for the fuk of it". I would say look at the partner. 1) does she have equal or superior income making ability? 2) do you have similar ambitions and goals? be it career or family 3) do you generally enjoy each other's company 4) are you sexually attracted to each other and is the sex good?. These are the boxes that need checking. Now you check all those then I think you are in a far better position to get married than "Hurr Durr we in love lets get married cuz we will love each other forever".

This lends credence to how you've never actually been in love before. Being so dedicated to someone that you don't care about ANYTHING else other than loving them. Solely factoring in those 4 criteria you mentioned are EXACTLY why people get divorced, considering they make attachment extremely inflexible. Factors like sex (what happens if you were to start having ED later on in life, would you want your wife to divorce you for that?) or income (would you want your wife to divorce you when you get fired?) can change and the only thing that helps a marriage to persist despite that is love.

That idea you shot down of "hurr durr let's get married because we're in love" is the ONLY reason why marriages are successful. A woman who actually loves her husband and didn't just check off the criteria you listed will NOT divorce him when they're having money issues or if he's having problems getting erections, rather will stick around and get through the tough times no matter what because she has this enormous, undying dedication to her husband for reasons she can't explain other than she's in love. And again I'm not talking about infatuation, I'm talking about LOVE.

Same thing goes for your family (parents, siblings, etc), does your family stop loving you if you were to fail out of college or if they caught you smoking weed? Of course not. Sure, there might be some tough times ahead in terms of working past the hardships, but they will not stop loving you just because you fail some of their predetermined criteria of what they want their ideally perfect son to be. These connections will be EXACTLY the same in any successful marriage, because that deep, underlying connection (love) will always ensure the continuity of that desire to be with the other person no matter what the situation is. And yeah sure there are a ton of girls out there who might seem great at first but hit the road when the going gets tough, but that's simply because they don't have this unbreakable connection with you that is love.

This is something that socially awkward FAs like you will NEVER understand. Things like marriage are so much more than just meets the eye, and can NOT be quantified on an individual basis by something as irrelevant as statistics. Take a good long look at yourself in the mirror and try to realize just how much of a loser you are. Seriously, you either must have had one chitty relationship in the near past or one traumatic, emotionally hollow childhood because you have some serious deep seated emotional problems and need help. And again, I don't care what you do in relation to marriage, but don't project your emotional emptiness on the misc, you're only making misc a more fuked up and depressing place. And also, like I said, have fun dying alone and not having a family, sounds like a great life.

[Darknight8519]

You had a girlfriend before (assuming so because you said you were in love) and don't have one picture together? Good ****ing joke.



This lends credence to how you've never actually been in love before. Being so dedicated to someone that you don't care about ANYTHING else other than loving them. Solely factoring in those 4 criteria you mentioned are EXACTLY why people get divorced, considering they make attachment extremely inflexible. Factors like sex (what happens if you were to start having ED later on in life, would you want your wife to divorce you for that?) or income (would you want your wife to divorce you when you get fired?) can change and the only thing that helps a marriage to persist despite that is love.

That idea you shot down of "hurr durr let's get married because we're in love" is the ONLY reason why marriages are successful. A woman who actually loves her husband and didn't just check off the criteria you listed will NOT divorce him when they're having money issues or if he's having problems getting erections, rather will stick around and get through the tough times no matter what because she has this enormous, undying dedication to her husband for reasons she can't explain other than she's in love. And again I'm not talking about infatuation, I'm talking about LOVE.

Same thing goes for your family (parents, siblings, etc), does your family stop loving you if you were to fail out of college or if they caught you smoking weed? Of course not. Sure, there might be some tough times ahead in terms of working past the hardships, but they will not stop loving you just because you fail some of their predetermined criteria of what they want their ideally perfect son to be. These connections will be EXACTLY the same in any successful marriage, because that deep, underlying connection (love) will always ensure the continuity of that desire to be with the other person no matter what the situation is. And yeah sure there are a ton of girls out there who might seem great at first but hit the road when the going gets tough, but that's simply because they don't have this unbreakable connection with you that is love.

This is something that socially awkward FAs like you will NEVER understand. Things like marriage are so much more than just meets the eye, and can NOT be quantified on an individual basis by something as irrelevant as statistics. Take a good long look at yourself in the mirror and try to realize just how much of a loser you are. Seriously, you either must have had one chitty relationship in the near past or one traumatic, emotionally hollow childhood because you have some serious deep seated emotional problems and need help. And again, I don't care what you do in relation to marriage, but don't project your emotional emptiness on the misc, you're only making misc a more fuked up and depressing place. And also, like I said, have fun dying alone and not having a family, sounds like a great life.

I don't keep any pictures of the women I have dated in the past. Ever heard of NC? I throw all that chit out and delete everything. Why the fuk would I keep that?

Lol if you think "love" persists in a marriage. Wow you are really young. Yes if my income flat lined I could very easily be left by a woman (see my mother divorcing my father after a brain injury and lost economic ability on his part). Marriage after all is a CONTRACT. Should one party fail to be able to perform in that contract then I would expect a termination of that contract. The steps I have outlined will mitigate the damages you face in such an event.

Lol at the rest of this bullchit. Yes brah, because I don't get married it means I will die alone where as you won't. Strong fukin assumptions.

If you think LOVE is any more permanent or enduring than the factors I listed then you are very much a naive young man. Hopefully you come to terms with reality before life fuks you over.

[Josh81]

because i found someone i can be ME with, someone i can tell anything to or say anything to

and when i say me..i mean as if no one was in the room

shes my best friend and my partner and we're going to keep pushing each other through life and helping each other up

my parents have been married 40 years btw

we're both agnostic, hate politics, and just want to live life and be happy and try to get some fukin money

[Darknight8519]

I like that a lot, I'm in college right now studying to be a ChemE and my end goal as of right now is to design weapons for the military, I may branch off into different areas though (nanotech?). Just going through the SJW plague we have going on I get a headache, I'm going to avoid that mess entirely.

Thing is I come from a religious (muslim) family, I don't associate that with myself anymore but my parents don't know. They'll probably try to set me up with some 'merican white washed brown chick that's been plowed through and through and them being none the wiser. Legit worst nightmare.

Live your own life. My parents are fundamentalist Christians (despite my **** mother's behavior she still goes on and on about Jesus). You know the real world. Do what the fuk you want. Now you will be rejected by the majority of society. Most women will accuse you of the following:

Immature
Selfish
Loser
FA (can't get women so that is why you don't want to get married etc)
Sexist
as well as several other insults. Obviously the WKs (as seen by many posters in this thread) will also attack you for various reasons. These men are so desperate to keep women they will attack you so they will be seen as the champion for the women, hence WK.

So yeah won't be easy but will ultimately be more rewarding. Your life. Your rules. In the end when you are old it isn't about "dying alone" it is about how you lived your life and if you are proud of what you have accomplished. Then you can rest easy.

[Darknight8519]

because i found someone i can be ME with, someone i can tell anything to or say anything to

and when i say me..i mean as if no one was in the room

shes my best friend and my partner and we're going to keep pushing each other through life and helping each other up

my parents have been married 40 years btw

Explain why you need to sign a one sided contract in order to have this relationship.

[Josh81]

Explain why you need to sign a one sided contract in order to have this relationship.

i want to be married to the person who started off as a friend who stopped me from killing myself --> best friend --> fighting through depression together --> exact same emotional and intellectual intelligence

i'll sign the form because i want to be married to the only person who accepted every single dark skeleton in my closet (and i have faced hers)

[Darknight8519]

i want to be married to the person who started off as a friend who stopped me from killing myself --> best friend --> fighting through depression together --> exact same emotional and intellectual intelligence

i'll sign the form because i want to be married to the only person who accepted every single dark skeleton in my closet (and i have faced hers)

What other legal contracts do you enter into based on emotion?

[Josh81]

What other legal contracts do you enter into based on emotion?

whats got you so down? i've had my heart stomped on and nothing could beat that

if my woman got dragged by a tornado it wouldn't do the damage my first girlfriend did to me (sociopath/borderline)

[Darknight8519]

whats got you so down? i've had my heart stomped on and nothing could beat that

if my woman got dragged by a tornado it wouldn't do the damage my first girlfriend did to me (sociopath/borderline)

I'm not down. I am honestly interested in what other legal contract you enter into based purely on emotion. So please tell me.

[Josh81]

I'm not down. I am honestly interested in what other legal contract you enter into based purely on emotion. So please tell me.

i'd rather grab some of these J cups and head into bed with this, night night

[Darknight8519]

i'd rather grab some of these J cups and head into bed with this, night night

No answer. Not a surprise.

[HotCheetos]

No answer. Not a surprise.

Not sure why you are preaching to everyone to live their life on their terms, yet "I want to be married" is somehow different than that. People have different life goals than you do. You have taken every little shot you can possibly take at each person who is happy about marriage in here and even when they don't take a shot back you take another shot at their belief. What point are you trying to make? That we are entering a contract based on how we feel about someone? We already know that. If the divorce rate is 50% (I think that's what someone stated earlier) is it that hard to believe those of us posting our positive outlook on marriage might be part of that success rate because of our unwavering belief in our relationships?

[Darknight8519]

Not sure why you are preaching to everyone to live their life on their terms, yet "I want to be married" is somehow different than that. People have different life goals than you do. You have taken every little shot you can possibly take at each person who is happy about marriage in here and even when they don't take a shot back you take another shot at their belief. What point are you trying to make? That we are entering a contract based on how we feel about someone? We already know that. If the divorce rate is 50% (I think that's what someone stated earlier) is it that hard to believe those of us posting our positive outlook on marriage might be part of that success rate because of our unwavering belief in our relationships?

Not at all. I'm not trying to take a shot. I am legit interested in what other legal contracts you would enter into based purely on emotion and your reasons for it. No one wants to answer any of these questions.

[BetaAsPhuck]

Succumbing to emotion is what causes wars, limited progress in science, etc.

Black and white thinking brah.

I think we are at our best when we use both.

A person devoid (or has a severe deficit) of experiencing emotions/sentiments that facilitate bonding is a literally a psychopath/anti-social personality disorder sufferer, or has narcissistic personality disorder.

Please read into those disorders and then decided if you think that rejecting emotion/sentiments associated with connection (affective empathy, appreciation, compassion, etc) is a good thing.

[BetaAsPhuck]

If the marriage contract was a business contract, then your lawyer would tell you to run for the phuckin hills - Anthony Cumia (Divorced, and pays his wife alimony)



^^^ Listen to that brahs, and prepare to have your mind phucked.

Divorced brah here... I have no problem with the ritual, but the contract is the reason why I won't get married again.

[Boerdeur]

You know the risk of marriage. Tell me the reward and why it is better than just living/being together.

lol you cant even just live together anymore.. inb4 common marriage law

chits a joke.

[Kapetan]

Again you keep generalizing women into all one basket. In your example, it's like calling all streets the same. Using your example, let's say a sloot with questionable history (past of cheating, lots of exes, etc) is a highway and a good girl with good morals is a back road. Of course you have a chance to get hit on both, but the good girl's road has an astronomically lower percent of you getting hit. The percentages are EXTREMELY different and you have to take it on a case by case basis.

I don't think you understand what statistic is.