saggy boobs, impending dotage, et. al

[vespr]

im 40 years old this year, and my boobs, which begun their inevitable downward droop somewhere in my 30s, are now at their saddest: the nipples just droop like a basset hound's sad eyes. wrong analogy, at least people still gush with excitement when they see a basset hound... when i look at my boobs, more specifically, the way my nipples keep trying to say hello to my belly button, i just feel so disappointed. and i cant imagine any guy not thinking the exact same thing when they first climb into bed with me. this is giving me serious body confidence issues and im unable to get myself to want to start dating again.

oh god. help me.
add to the list of things i have less to look forward to every day, are the dozens of new grey hairs (i swear they were not here yesterday?), and simply the knowledge that i am BECOMING AN OLD WOMAN. i can do how many workouts i want, there is no escape.

dont ask me to cut myself up for a guy (breast lift, implants, etc); i will not do that to boobs that have served me so well in my youth, and still now, give great cleavage in a bra. i suppose i could do strength training to lift my pectorals, but the moment i take downtime, those pecs are going to shrink, and whatever temporary lift the boobs have enjoyed thus are gone.

[to the new guy in my bed: i dont want to have to apologise for the disappointment that they are now - it's just ridiculous that i feel i have to - but at the same time, i feel truly sorry to have led you on this far only to have you disappointed, or maybe even shocked that my boobs, moments ago so promisingly full, so perfectly-shaped at 40D in a bra, should just pancake out like that before your eyes. is anybody ever ready for such a revelation? O.o]

i guess im in the process of accepting this aging thing. it's just that, i feel ambushed...

just yesterday, i had perfect breasts. theyre gone now.

how do you guys deal with impending dotage? how do you guys date when your bits are no longer... so commendable?

[mtpockets]

[SteveWright1]

good for you on avoiding the artificial means of a return to former glory

my 1st wife wanted about 5000 bucks for that type of operation - breast enlargement etc
I informed her she did not need 5000 bucks and a simple box of tissue would work
she enquired "How will that help increase the size"
I replied "You just rub the tissue up and down your cleavage once or twice a day"
she replied "Your an idiot , that will never work"
I responded "Well it seems to have worked on your ass"

dont worry about it Vespr - if he is the right guy, it is not going to matter anyway.

[JOHN GARGANI]

to the new guy in my bed: i dont want to have to apologise for the disappointment that they are now - it's just ridiculous that i feel i have to - but at the same time, i feel truly sorry to have led you on this far only to have you disappointed

if he is a real man, I DOUBT highly, he is "disappointed"......

listen my dear, if you haven't figured it out by now: no matter what "shape" they are in, all that matters is HOW THEY RESPOND.....when the button is magical, then everything falls into place.....

[vespr]

if he is a real man, I DOUBT highly, he is "disappointed"......

listen my dear, if you haven't figured it out by now: no matter what "shape" they are in, all that matters is HOW THEY RESPOND.....when the button is magical, then everything falls into place.....

what button - the nipple? or you mean sexual chemistry?

[vespr]

good for you on avoiding the artificial means of a return to former glory

my 1st wife wanted about 5000 bucks for that type of operation - breast enlargement etc
I informed her she did not need 5000 bucks and a simple box of tissue would work
she enquired "How will that help increase the size"
I replied "You just rub the tissue up and down your cleavage once or twice a day"
she replied "Your an idiot , that will never work"
I responded "Well it seems to have worked on your ass"

LOL, well, at least she had a big ass. butts dont usually sag, i think. even if they do, i think glutes can be worked on, unlike boobs, which are mostly fat

[Iceman1800]

At our age, men expect sagging. I'm sure you'll have no problem getting lucky

[paolo59]

LOL A very well written, enjoyable lament! Life ain't for the faint of heart sister. Ha! You can always wrap them around your neck like a muffler when it's cold and dreary out.

[vespr]

At our age, men expect sagging. I'm sure you'll have no problem getting lucky

i have no problem attracting attention at all. i just dont let them get any closer than remain dopey-eyed infatuated with me, cause the fantasy, i am sure, is a heck of a lot more gratifying than the reality

at least until i come to terms with this

[vespr]

LOL A very well written, enjoyable lament! Life ain't for the faint of heart sister. Ha! You can always wrap them around your neck like a muffler when it's cold and dreary out.

thank you. thinking about where i am now makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. it's just so sad that we have to age

[paolo59]

thank you. thinking about where i am now makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. it's just so sad that we have to age

Ha ha! What do they say? 'It's better to laugh than to cry!' Might as well enjoy a little humor as we age. There's not one thing we can really do about it. Stem the tide...stem the tide. LOL

[CaptChip40]

Thread is useless without pictures.

[vespr]

Thread is useless without pictures.

every time i try to take a saggy boob selfie, my iphone dies on me.

[Cass40]

This thread is too depressing Even my boobs are now depressed..

[Iceman1800]

This thread is too depressing Even my boobs are now depressed..

Your boobs are great hon

[ChazWood]

how do you guys deal with impending dotage? how do you guys date when your bits are no longer... so commendable?

I'm not in the dating scene so I'm no expert, but perhaps this provides you with a "built in" superficial douchebag filter.

[Mark1T]

every time i try to take a saggy boob selfie, my iphone dies on me.

I'd probably feint, too

[vespr]

This thread is too depressing Even my boobs are now depressed..

i am so, so sorry Cass40. even as i wrote this post, it struck me that i might make a lot of people depressed. then i realised sooner or later we'll all have to go through this, so instead of being privately depressed about it, why not get depressed about it together. if that's possible...

[vespr]

I'm not in the dating scene so I'm no expert, but perhaps this provides you with a "built in" superficial douchebag filter.

im sure it'll be an effective one, too, but it'll be hard on my ego

[vespr]

I'd probably feint, too

sorry, ill go dig a hole and bury my boobs now

[Karl_Hungus]

i have no problem attracting attention at all. i just dont let them get any closer than remain dopey-eyed infatuated with me, cause the fantasy, i am sure, is a heck of a lot more gratifying than the reality

at least until i come to terms with this

If they find you attractive with your clothes on, then chances are they are going to find you attractive with your clothes off. Sometimes, we can be our own worst critics, often in a manner that is disproportionate to our actual flaws. I think my wife is gorgeous, but she often fixates on perceived flaws that I don't even notice.

[Mark1T]

sorry, ill go dig a hole and bury my boobs now

That would look a little odd.

[Cass40]

If they find you attractive with your clothes on, then chances are they are going to find you attractive with your clothes off. Sometimes, we can be our own worst critics, often in a manner that is disproportionate to our actual flaws. I think my wife is gorgeous, but she often fixates on perceived flaws that I don't even notice.

You got married and you didn't tell us????

[Karl_Hungus]

You got married and you didn't tell us????

LOL.....yeah, got married in March

[Cass40]

LOL.....yeah, got married in March

Congratulations!!!!!

And please, we need to know everything..you can't just get married and not tell us

[sy2502]

OP in my experience men are elated enough they are about to get laid, they can't care less what your bewbs look like. Of the men I know, I can't think of a single one who, right about when he's getting laid, would ever get up and walk away because "her bewbs aren't perky enough, so I'll rather take my blue balls home".

[Karl_Hungus]

Congratulations!!!!!

And please, we need to know everything..you can't just get married and not tell us

Thanks Cass! It was a good time - small ceremony with a few friends and family. Took a long time to find my perfect match, but I finally got there. I am a lucky dude.

OP in my experience men are elated enough they are about to get laid, they can't care less what your bewbs look like. Of the men I know, I can't think of a single one who, right about when he's getting laid, would ever get up and walk away because "her bewbs aren't perky enough, so I'll rather take my blue balls home".

Could not have said it any better.

[lotusdeva]

It sounds like YOU are not happy about your boobs, men have nothing to do with it When we are not happy about something we either change it or accept it for what it is. So you know what to do

[Cass40]

OP in my experience men are elated enough they are about to get laid, they can't care less what your bewbs look like. Of the men I know, I can't think of a single one who, right about when he's getting laid, would ever get up and walk away because "her bewbs aren't perky enough, so I'll rather take my blue balls home".

Men have selective vision...luckily they only see things that turns them on. Thank god, cause otherwise we'd all be screwed! (or in this case not )

[vespr]

If they find you attractive with your clothes on, then chances are they are going to find you attractive with your clothes off. Sometimes, we can be our own worst critics, often in a manner that is disproportionate to our actual flaws. I think my wife is gorgeous, but she often fixates on perceived flaws that I don't even notice.

the thing is, i appear to have absolutely fabulous boobs (as long as theyre strapped into a bra, they appear so!), but the reality is a bit of a let down. im being rather british with my minimising there, though. im 40 years old. my body is 40 years old. my face however looks 30+ years old, and i think the way some people gape after me, they must imagine my body to look as young as my face. i dont want to get their hopes up, so i will have to tell them upfront how old i am, but having to tell anyone my age, unless theyre well within my age group and older, is making me really cranky right now - a lot of people not yet 40 seem to (visibly? am i imagining this?) cringe when you say youre 40 - like, omg, youre sooo old(!); or, i might as well say i have AIDS?), so i dont, and i continue to stress about it. so, that's compounding what issues im having over my body right now.

in regards to your wife's perceived flaws - even if they were real and right before your eyes - i dont think you would see it because youre still blissfully in love with your wife, and this love plus all the other things she brings into your marriage more than compensates for it