How to defend why I want to compete

[Ksgoodlife]

A friend of mine who is a bikini competitor, helped me with a nutrition plan. She told me she was going to train and coach a team of girls for an upcoming competition in 6 months. She asked me if I wanted to join. It sounds fun, disciplined, but fun. If I set my mind to something, I can accomplish it. So I thought it seemed like a worthy challenge, and seemed like a fun girls trip. I had been wondering what to do to kick up my workouts anyway, so this seemed like a good motivation. When I told my husband, who thinks chicks are hot who compete, I was shocked when he said - oh yeah that will be good, your a sexually bored woman and will fulfill a need for you. I was so offended and insulted! He swears he doesn't know why that's offensive, said he's totally supportive but that it's true, women only compete who want to show off at a meat market. I felt so disappointed! I couldn't argue that the comp's look like a meat market, but I felt like he completely dismissed the dedication and hard work. He doesn't know why I am mad! He basically said - well it's the truth, women only do these who have a need for male affirmation. He said if I want to look that fit, why don't I just do the training but not compete? I honestly have been thinking about how to explain it in a way that he'll believe that my goals of working hard and eating right to be prepared enough to enter a comp, is why I am interested. And that it seems like fun to do with girlfriends. Why do men always think anything sexy is because we want their attention? I mean, yes, I like to be attractive, yes I like to be attractive to men, but NO I'm not working my butt off to fulfill a sexual "need". I'm sure I'm not the only one who has run into this. What do you say?

[kimm4]

You're a 42 yr old grown woman and the whole conversation sounds like highschool. If he doesn't support you it will suck for you and there's nothing more to say about that.

As for the competing itself working hard and eating right doesn't mean anything to me. Before stepping onstage you need to look the part. I find too many women jumping into shows "just because" and don't look anywhere near close to being comp material.

[Ksgoodlife]

You're right. It was pretty stupid. I am 5'4" 122lb, lean, I used to run, ran 10K's and 5K's all summer, love the competition. I injured my IT band and couldn't get over it. I've been going to the gym a solid 1 1/2 yrs with good gains. I hit a spot where I didn't think I was progressing because I needed training. That's why I hired out a nutrition plan and was educated on macros and weighing/tracking your food. I didn't know about fitness competitions, sorry, just not that popular in my social circle. When I heard about it, I was interested in the competition and thought it would be great since I can't race anymore. I've been told I have plenty of time to build up a little more muscle and lean out to about 10 lbs lighter. I don't feel I'm too far off, although I realize it would take a great amount of dedication and self control - both of which I have. Enlighten me as to what "looking the part" means.

He does support it - I just didn't like his comments.

You're a 42 yr old grown woman and the whole conversation sounds like highschool. If he doesn't support you it will suck for you and there's nothing more to say about that.

As for the competing itself working hard and eating right doesn't mean anything to me. Before stepping onstage you need to look the part. I find too many women jumping into shows "just because" and don't look anywhere near close to being comp material.

[vhenley164]

As for the competing itself working hard and eating right doesn't mean anything to me. Before stepping onstage you need to look the part. I find too many women jumping into shows "just because" and don't look anywhere near close to being comp material.

This.

Can I ask how long you have been training for. One of the reason I am not a massive fan of a lot if amateur bikini comps is because a lot of people seem to think it is the easy option and go in no where near ready.

I hope that you are not a beginner to be planning on competing in 6 months because if you are I think you may be disappointed.

[Ksgoodlife]

That is good to know. I don't want to go into something unprepared. I was told 6 months was a healthy amount of time to get ready from the point I'm starting at now. I've been lifting for 1 1/2 yr., not "training" simple because I had nothing to train for, just to be fit and push myself. I was under the impression that amateur bikini comps were more for fun, not as serious.

So am I to understand that the seasoned competitors don't really like the beginners? What did you do to prepare for your first comp and how did you make it serious enough to be real competition?

This.

Can I ask how long you have been training for. One of the reason I am not a massive fan of a lot if amateur bikini comps is because a lot of people seem to think it is the easy option and go in no where near ready.

I hope that you are not a beginner to be planning on competing in 6 months because if you are I think you may be disappointed.

[kimm4]

Looking the part means the muscle/foundation is already there. From that point you diet down and hit the stage.

Building muscle is a long process and so is dieting down. You're talking 2 completely different goals and it can't be done in 6 months. It doesn't work like that at all.

Most women with your training backround lack in overall muscle. Have you spent anytime eating in a calorie surplus to build?

Most bikini girls at your height are hitting the stage around 115-120 lbs. Based on your stats do you look like you can hit a stage right now and do well? If not that's a clear indicator that more muscle is needed and you need to spend a good amount of time building.

[runliftandlove]

You're a 42 yr old grown woman and the whole conversation sounds like highschool. If he doesn't support you it will suck for you and there's nothing more to say about that.

As for the competing itself working hard and eating right doesn't mean anything to me. Before stepping onstage you need to look the part. I find too many women jumping into shows "just because" and don't look anywhere near close to being comp material.

^^ This.

Literally do what makes you happy.

[VO2Maxima]

I'm going to answer this from the perspective of a beginner to the competitive stage. I competed in my first show just under a month ago, so I feel like I can bring a beginner's perspective to this.

First of all, as Kimm stated, at 5'4 122lbs, unless you're fairly shredded, you need time to build. I started my prep at 5'2 129lbs, and thought I had a decent muscle base...I mean I thought I looked like I had muscle in the mirror, I could bench my bodyweight and deadlift 2x bodyweight, and I still had visible abs at that weight (if I flexed), so I had to have some muscle, right? Actually cutting down, I had way less muscle than I thought, and I don't think it was a matter of me losing too much muscle because my lifts went up for most of the cut (obviously neurologic adaption and not muscle gain on a cut, but doubtful I could have been losing significant muscle but getting stronger). Every judge told me I had to bring my lower body up (which was obvious to me looking at myself in the mirror), and one even told me my upper body needed size too.

I never got the vibe that seasoned competitors don't like beginners. 99% of what I encountered was encouragement. I've heard horror stories about cattiness, but I didn't see much personally, to be honest (if you're curious, it was an amateur OCB show...pro-qualifier, but not an IFPA pro show). I have, however, seen a lot of negativity towards people who try to jump in unprepared (though in retrospect, my lower body wasn't really prepared, sooo...) and step on stage either soft or undermuscled. People are paying money to watch the show, and other competitors are getting antsy and hungry backstage. That's true of any sport though. I was a competitive runner before starting lifting, and the elitist attitude that the so-called "serious" runners took towards "hobbyjoggers" was disgusting, and way worse than anything I've seen as the figure equivalent of a hobbyjogger.

And that it seems like fun to do with girlfriends.

I'm not going to lie, this worries me a little. Look, the show was a blast. I had a great time. But I'm not sure I'd describe prep as "a fun thing to do with girlfriends." I ran what I considered to be a conservative cut. I never did more than 45 minutes of cardio per day, and I never dropped below 1600kcal/day (and even that was only for a week). But I was not a pleasant person to be around by the end, and more than once, my training buddy (who was also training for the show) and I would talk about how we couldn't wait for it to be over. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Would I do it again? I'd really like to, after a solid year of bulking so I don't step on stage looking like a curl-bro again. But was it "a fun thing to do with girlfriends?" Hell no, it made my 100mpw marathon training seem like a walk in the park from a fatigue, emotional, and mental standpoint.

[megdaig]

Oh man you nailed it with "the other competitors getting hungry"! Every amateur show that wasn't a National level show didn't get out until after midnight and restaurants shut down at 11...I'm a hangry beast. Promotors are all about the $$$ that these things just get so huge and long and just an overall clusterfcuk.

I'm going to answer this from the perspective of a beginner to the competitive stage. I competed in my first show just under a month ago, so I feel like I can bring a beginner's perspective to this.

First of all, as Kimm stated, at 5'4 122lbs, unless you're fairly shredded, you need time to build. I started my prep at 5'2 129lbs, and thought I had a decent muscle base...I mean I thought I looked like I had muscle in the mirror, I could bench my bodyweight and deadlift 2x bodyweight, and I still had visible abs at that weight (if I flexed), so I had to have some muscle, right? Actually cutting down, I had way less muscle than I thought, and I don't think it was a matter of me losing too much muscle because my lifts went up for most of the cut (obviously neurologic adaption and not muscle gain on a cut, but doubtful I could have been losing significant muscle but getting stronger). Every judge told me I had to bring my lower body up (which was obvious to me looking at myself in the mirror), and one even told me my upper body needed size too.

I never got the vibe that seasoned competitors don't like beginners. 99% of what I encountered was encouragement. I've heard horror stories about cattiness, but I didn't see much personally, to be honest (if you're curious, it was an amateur OCB show...pro-qualifier, but not an IFPA pro show). I have, however, seen a lot of negativity towards people who try to jump in unprepared (though in retrospect, my lower body wasn't really prepared, sooo...) and step on stage either soft or undermuscled. People are paying money to watch the show, and other competitors are getting antsy and hungry backstage. That's true of any sport though. I was a competitive runner before starting lifting, and the elitist attitude that the so-called "serious" runners took towards "hobbyjoggers" was disgusting, and way worse than anything I've seen as the figure equivalent of a hobbyjogger.


I'm not going to lie, this worries me a little. Look, the show was a blast. I had a great time. But I'm not sure I'd describe prep as "a fun thing to do with girlfriends." I ran what I considered to be a conservative cut. I never did more than 45 minutes of cardio per day, and I never dropped below 1600kcal/day (and even that was only for a week). But I was not a pleasant person to be around by the end, and more than once, my training buddy (who was also training for the show) and I would talk about how we couldn't wait for it to be over. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Would I do it again? I'd really like to, after a solid year of bulking so I don't step on stage looking like a curl-bro again. But was it "a fun thing to do with girlfriends?" Hell no, it made my 100mpw marathon training seem like a walk in the park from a fatigue, emotional, and mental standpoint.

[VO2Maxima]

Oh man you nailed it with "the other competitors getting hungry"! Every amateur show that wasn't a National level show didn't get out until after midnight and restaurants shut down at 11...I'm a hangry beast. Promotors are all about the $$$ that these things just get so huge and long and just an overall clusterfcuk.

SO MANY BIKINI COMPETITORS TOO. If not for the fact that I still had to step onstage again for awards, I probably could have eaten one of them.

[rockangel]

I will throw my 2 cents in since I have been where you are. I thought that I too could train for a few months and be ready to do a show. Sadly, i was greatly mistaken. I also had a great group of people helping me out... yet the experience still fell flat for me as I did not look the part, nor did i place.

Here is my story:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...=picture+story

This is why i caution every newb to wait, give it time, build a base.

Just because you have a trainer pushing you into it and making it sound awesome, does not mean you need to compete nor does it mean the trainer has your best interest at heart.

Really it sounds to me like she is more interested in creating a team and getting her name out there than she is interested in your well being.
So she competed and now she is trying to be a prep coach.... doesnt mean she is qualified to train people for comps. It is a very involved and tough thing to do.

I dont think seasoned competitors hate newbs, I find that most are saddened that people do not take it seriously, think its easy, and go on stage looking a hot mess because they fail to understand what it really is about.

Many girls come here and say they want to compete "just because" and then we never hear from them again when they are thrust onstage to the reality of the sport. The sport is really preperation of years. The sport is not the shows.

[kimm4]

A friend of mine who is a bikini competitor, helped me with a nutrition plan. She told me she was going to train and coach a team of girls for an upcoming competition in 6 months.

My next question would be how much experience does your bikini friend have? How many competitions has she done and what are her actual qualifications/back round experience in prepping clients for the stage?

You'll see a lot of IG and FB pages with chicks who have done a few shows and all of a sudden they're calling themselves, "trainers/coaches" with absolutely little to no real experience at all.

Nothing against your friend, just understand that this^^ is a big part of the reason we see so many unprepared people hitting the stage.

I have nothing against beginners and we were all beginners at one time. What I don't like is girls (men too) being thrown onstage when they clearly have no business being there. I don't blame it on the competitors. I blame it on the a$$hole trainers who are so quick to take a client's money instead of helping them do it the right way.