Having Kids - When people say, 'It's not about you anymore'

[MrDevereaux]

Yep, this is pretty much the main reason why I don't want to have kids.

Inb4 OP is a selfish *******.

[Prose Edda]

Always lol @ people who say they don't want kids. Know heaps of them through grandmother who said the same thing when they were younger and now they're 60-70 old, divorced, no one cares about em. Such life

[mrmk5110]

OP is a selfish *******

[Victorious]

OP is a selfish *******.

[CobraTrapz]

Always lol @ people who say they don't want kids. Know heaps of them through grandmother who said the same thing when they were younger and now they're 60-70 old, divorced, no one cares about em. Such life

You think when your 60-70 your kids will care about you

[tex427]

Selfish a ******* is OP

[caublet]

Op is a smart *******

[xxDirtMcGirtxx]

OP is a selfish ******* and so am I.


Agreed.

[MGFusion]

Lol if only your parents had that same mindset.

[BBHH]

Selfish ... o wait

[sknot1454]

I did a 7 day trip to Oahu and Maui last month. Stayed right on Waikiki beach on Oahu and at the Hyatt on Kaanapali beach in Maui. Two of the best beaches on planet Earth.

Cost me about 5 grand for my wife and I.

In 2014, the cost of raising a child until 18 was $304,000

I could do that vacation over 60 more times in the span of 18 years.

That's 3.3 trips every year to paradise. Or you can have a bratty teenager telling you they hate your guts.

[DBedfield123]

Always lol @ people who say they don't want kids. Know heaps of them through grandmother who said the same thing when they were younger and now they're 60-70 old, divorced, no one cares about em. Such life

You think your family is *really* going to give a chit about you when you're in your 70's, 80's and 90's? Your daughter in law is just going to be waiting for the day that you drop dead so that she can inherit what you left behind.

I feel sorry for people that are so dependent on others for their own happiness... people that are incapable of feeling content in life unless they are surrounded by other people and receiving a constant stream of validation and acceptance. Some of us have no desire for that and are perfectly capable of living happy lives by ourselves; doing what we want, when we want.

[Prose Edda]

We all die alone in the end.

I'm training mine to serve me. They think it's fun so far. *hopes they continue into their teens*

[irollurmom]

Always lol @ people who say they don't want kids. Know heaps of them through grandmother who said the same thing when they were younger and now they're 60-70 old, divorced, no one cares about em. Such life

Tell that to the thousands of elderly in retirement homes whose kids/grand kids only visit once every few months.

[MrDevereaux]

Op is a smart *******

OP is a selfish ******* and so am I.


Agreed.

Heh, thanks bros.

Lol if only your parents had that same mindset.

I've heard this argument a lot. I don't quite get it though. If my parents had had the same mindset I wouldn't have existed at all. Does that mean I would have been worse off? There was no 'I'. I give you the words of Silenus:

That the best thing for a man is not to be born, and if already born, to die as soon as possible

[LazyBastard]

I have kids and my wife and I still get out and have fun sometimes. It's called balance and having good enough jobs to provide for your kids while still being able to go out and have a good time. And having trustworthy babysitters. I know my kids are well-provided for when I go out. But yeah, you need to get out and blow off some steam sometimes.
The "It's not about you anymore" and the "I traded in my Saturday nights out for popcorn and movie night with the kids" comments often seem like passive-aggressive attempts to basically say "I'm a better parent than you" when they're really just mad that they can't get out.

[bigdogfarmhand]

I like it that way, I had 28 years all about me


Was lonly and sad


My son has healed my heart and it is all about him and that's ok

[BloodyUge1]

I want full control of my life, no one is going to consume even 1 minute of my freedom. I will die alone and happy. Having a child is such a retarded idea, OHH yeah the world needs more fuking people... right

[MrDevereaux]

I did a 7 day trip to Oahu and Maui last month. Stayed right on Waikiki beach on Oahu and at the Hyatt on Kaanapali beach in Maui. Two of the best beaches on planet Earth.

Cost me about 5 grand for my wife and I.

In 2014, the cost of raising a child until 18 was $304,000

I could do that vacation over 60 more times in the span of 18 years.

That's 3.3 trips every year to

I love you bro.

[joewtugwell]

You think when your 60-70 your kids will care about you

You think anyone cares about you NOW? My dad is 78 and my mom is 64. I care about them very much.

[MrDevereaux]

I have kids and my wife and I still get out and have fun sometimes. It's called balance and having good enough jobs to provide for your kids while still being able to go out and have a good time. And having trustworthy babysitters. I know my kids are well-provided for when I go out. But yeah, you need to get out and blow off some steam sometimes.
The "It's not about you anymore" and the "I traded in my Saturday nights out for popcorn and movie night with the kids" comments often seem like passive-aggressive attempts to basically say "I'm a better parent than you" when they're really just mad that they can't get out.

That's great man and I'm in no way trying to say that having kids isn't a great thing. I was just taking issue with that line I hear so often, 'It's not about you anymore.' It's not even an issue as such, more that parents say that like it's a good thing but to me it sounds like a terrible thing! Hence why OP is a selfish ******* I guess.

[samt98]

lol at thinking you'll have a choice

[Unforgiv3n]

I had a great life before marriage and kids, but teaching your son a jump shot, taking you son on his first roller coaster ride, teaching them how to hunt..... I can defiantly say my life is better with them. But to each there own.

[Fatkidwholifts]

When you can sit on your couch drinking beer. Finish your beer, then ask your 1.5 year old kid to go get you another one, and he does, you know you've made it.

[chasintail]

When you can sit on your couch drinking beer. Finish your beer, then ask your 1.5 year old kid to go get you another one, and he does, you know you've made it.

lol yup... I know this feel. OP if/when you have kids you don't care about yourself as much anymore so it doesn't matter. I get more enjoyment out of seeing my little girl have fun and play then I do having fun myself. But with that said me and the wife still know how to get down and have fun. The hardest thing is remembering to make time.

[superamped]

i must gather troops for this life and the next

[Vexidi]

Having kids is a personal choice, never understood why some feel the need to force the idea on others. I love mine and would do it all over again but it's not for everyone.

[MrDevereaux]

There have been loads of threads about kids v no kids. I didn't mean to start a general discussion. It's just my reaction to that specific line, 'It's not about you anymore.' When parents say that I think they see it as a positive, unselfish thing. It might be but my natural reaction is that it puts me off having kids. I want my life to be about me. I'm not ready just to pass on the baton and cheer from the sidelines.

[BrawnySwoleman]

I often feel the same way OP. I'm hardly doing the world a disservice by not having kids---it isn't like the population is dying off or anything. It's hard for me to imagine basically giving up my freedom as an adult to raise children. I used to think I wanted 4-5 kids when the time came, but it's more like 2 now (if any).

[S_H_A_D_O_W]

lol at thinking you'll have a choice

This! with birth control out, men have no control at all.