The No Contact Thread v3.0: I'll Hug You Bro No Homo.

[SriBrah]

6 months of NC was broken a month ago, was talking with her on and off about things for a while until a fight broke out a week ago, I said some things to put her down and she blocked and cut off all contact with me. Pretty beta to have gone back after her after she broke up with me

Day 1 of NC now.

[sword_]

Oh yeah my ex blocking me on FB after we weren't even friends (and had 70 mutual friends) was really immature. I still have a key to her place, actually her MASTER key and she owes me money also so she's not getting it for a while. Hate to play this dumb game too because the last times when she wanted to go out of town and we were on a 'friends' level she asked me to take care of the cat we had and 10 days ago she was totally the opposite.

I guess she realized when I said I don't want to be together and want time to myself I mean it.

I just hate that she says stuff like that she gave all her love and affection to me and it was unreciprocated. Like I wasn't there when she had to go to court or when she was in the hospital or when her mom was in the hospital for a week and I was there being supportive. It does piss me off because she is so needy and emotional that she fails to realize how smothering she was and she was NOT perfect on her end on things.

I think I can say in confidence that she has great qualities but we aren't right for one another. She feels like she wasted her time and has told many people that I was the one she wanted to marry and I unfortunately after many reservations didn't feel that way.

I'm not eager to see anyone else. This young chick I've talked to for a few weeks but she's stationed here and was a bit sporadic. I didn't take it seriously until she asked me what I was up to and it was actually quite pleasant. The girl at my MMA gym used to not talk to me and now she's super friendly to me and I tease her. Really it just happens she seems to be digging me and whatever happens happens. I was emotionally checked out from the relationship around March tbh. July was a pretty bad month.

[ratbatkicker]

8-9 months NC checking in.. Not a single, txt, IM, FB stalk or run-in. And we live about 5 minutes apart in the same town..lol But it's my fukin town.. Now days I drive down the same roads I always have for the past 20+ yrs. I could give a fuk. NC has worked out great for me. For all my brahs still struggling.. Hang in there.. In time you'll be just fine.

[ROFLOLAWLMAO]

GF broke up with me little over 3 weeks ago. Many tears were shed for a good week. Today is the 4th day of NC. I couldn't stop thinking about her because it was my first relationship and I fell in love with her, we were together for 6 months. I get the urge about once or twice a day to text her but I actually think about it now instead of just texting and regretting it 2 seconds later like I would do when she originally broke up with me. For some reason I still want to be with her even though I know I shouldn't be with her. I guess I just need someone that cares about me, goes to places with me and loves me (full beta).

Being lonely sucks brahs
brb no friends, literally

[ratbatkicker]

GF broke up with me little over 3 weeks ago. Many tears were shed for a good week. Today is the 4th day of NC. I couldn't stop thinking about her because it was my first relationship and I fell in love with her, we were together for 6 months. I get the urge about once or twice a day to text her but I actually think about it now instead of just texting and regretting it 2 seconds later like I would do when she originally broke up with me. For some reason I still want to be with her even though I know I shouldn't be with her. I guess I just need someone that cares about me, goes to places with me and loves me (full beta).

Being lonely sucks brahs
brb no friends, literally

If your sure its a wrap.. Hang in there.. In a few months you won't even care brah..lol Trust me.
Just weather the storm for now, focus on you and reach out to some of your brahs.. Get out and enjoy yourself.

[krob8788]

Hey misc, used to be a huge misc lurker/occasional poster back in the day so first post in over 2 years. GF of 2 years broke up (she says "break") with me on Friday night brahs, I was dealing with some pretty gnarly depression (kept apartment messy, haven't worked out in over a year and a half, didn't spend as much time with her as I should have towards the end of our relationship, etc) She told me that we needed a break and that I REALLY needed to find that spark to ignite my motivation. Guys, I don't think anything has ever hit me so hard before in my life.

I have been more productive in the last 3 days than I have been in the past 6 months put together. Apartment is pristine, gym membership already in place and I'm genuinely excited to get started on bettering myself once again. It just REALLY sucks when all the pain you suddenly realize you were causing someone hits you simultaneously. We ended things on a pretty positive note and she knows that I'm trying my hardest to get out of this rough patch in my life. We both told each other we have no interest in pursuing relationships elsewhere and she reminded me a couple of times that when the time comes, whenever that may be, she is completely open to giving me a fair shot again. Ultimately, I'm not worried about rushing things, as I know that bettering myself and figuring things out with her in the future kind of go hand-in-hand.

But here's where it gets kind of tricky. She says she wants to remain in touch as a support line so to speak, while (obviously) not going overboard with it. Today marks the first ~36 hours I haven't talked to her in over 2 years. I'm 100% positive that she cares about me and genuinely wants me to get better and I understand that improving and feeling better about my life comes before repairing the damage I may have caused to our relationship.

I don't know what to do guys, do I take her up on her offer if i need it? Do I concentrate on bettering myself while going NC until she's ready? (assuming that moment comes) Do I go NC and break it off completely?

Thanks for any advice

[ThailandBrah]

Hey misc, used to be a huge misc lurker/occasional poster back in the day so first post in over 2 years. GF of 2 years broke up (she says "break") with me on Friday night brahs, I was dealing with some pretty gnarly depression (kept apartment messy, haven't worked out in over a year and a half, didn't spend as much time with her as I should have towards the end of our relationship, etc) She told me that we needed a break and that I REALLY needed to find that spark to ignite my motivation. Guys, I don't think anything has ever hit me so hard before in my life.

I have been more productive in the last 3 days than I have been in the past 6 months put together. Apartment is pristine, gym membership already in place and I'm genuinely excited to get started on bettering myself once again. It just REALLY sucks when all the pain you suddenly realize you were causing someone hits you simultaneously. We ended things on a pretty positive note and she knows that I'm trying my hardest to get out of this rough patch in my life. We both told each other we have no interest in pursuing relationships elsewhere and she reminded me a couple of times that when the time comes, whenever that may be, she is completely open to giving me a fair shot again. Ultimately, I'm not worried about rushing things, as I know that bettering myself and figuring things out with her in the future kind of go hand-in-hand.

But here's where it gets kind of tricky. She says she wants to remain in touch as a support line so to speak, while (obviously) not going overboard with it. Today marks the first ~36 hours I haven't talked to her in over 2 years. I'm 100% positive that she cares about me and genuinely wants me to get better and I understand that improving and feeling better about my life comes before repairing the damage I may have caused to our relationship.

I don't know what to do guys, do I take her up on her offer if i need it? Do I concentrate on bettering myself while going NC until she's ready? (assuming that moment comes) Do I go NC and break it off completely?

Thanks for any advice

What ****ing excuse do you have to be a complete slob. Depression lol, first world luxury..

[thatsnarf]

it seems some of you are using money as an excuse to keep in touch. At this point, take it as a loss and move on.

if somebody really wanted to pay you back they would have put more effort into paying you back asap. no excuses.

i'm sure these people are eating out/going out with that money.

i know it's the principle of the matter but take it as a loss. they dgaf. straight up.


if they aren't at least quick paying/pay pal'ing at least 20$/month. it's over. if they don't have the decency to do that, they are not paying back hundreds/thousands.

[GETB1GORDIETRYN]

tempted to text me ex of 4 months for a smash for old times sake to get some emotions going inside me since i feel like i havent had any for months (lost my v card to her and dated for 3.5 years) although i know its a terrible idea and 98% chance she wont answer my text

[PeakyBlinder]

tempted to text me ex of 4 months for a smash for old times sake to get some emotions going inside me since i feel like i havent had any for months (lost my v card to her and dated for 3.5 years) although i know its a terrible idea and 98% chance she wont answer my text

Its not worth the hassle bro, either way it will end badly.

I just bumped into my ex of 5 years, haven't seen her for months. Felt like i got kicked in the balls by the feels when i walked away, it sucks!

[GETB1GORDIETRYN]

Its not worth the hassle bro, either way it will end badly.

I just bumped into my ex of 5 years, haven't seen her for months. Felt like i got kicked in the balls by the feels when i walked away, it sucks!

saw her briefly at a party about a month after breakup. i didnt even say hi she left prob 20 mins after. wasnt ready yet then

[JDkeystone]

it seems some of you are using money as an excuse to keep in touch. At this point, take it as a loss and move on.

if somebody really wanted to pay you back they would have put more effort into paying you back asap. no excuses.

i'm sure these people are eating out/going out with that money.

i know it's the principle of the matter but take it as a loss. they dgaf. straight up.


if they aren't at least quick paying/pay pal'ing at least 20$/month. it's over. if they don't have the decency to do that, they are not paying back hundreds/thousands.

lol since i mentioned my ex is currently paying me back, i'll assume this is directed at me.

but no, i'm not using it as an excuse "to keep in touch". he had originally requested we speak weekly to confirm payments (cuz he's extremely financially irresponsible and felt he might forget if he didn't have that reminder every week). i agreed to this at first, but after our most recent fallout, held my ground and said i would not be sending him anymore "reminders" cuz i needed to cease contact, and that he either had to take it upon himself to get me my money, or i would let the courts do it for him.

but i will not take it as a loss. it's not hundreds of thousands, but it's a good chunk of money that is owed to me (and that i am now kicking myself daily for for ever lending to him in the first place). definitely won't be making this same mistake again. but i will be getting my money back one way or another. in the meantime, NC continues.

[najee786]

Wow some deep stories. Not as deep as mine brahs though!

I thought I met the one after going through a hard NC struggle with a chick i was with for 3.5 years. After this 3.5 years I began a new relationship with a girl I knew for 4 years (as friends). Everything was going well... we got married 5 months into the relationship only to find out her traditional family was toxic and poisonous. We had our honeymoon in ***** and 3 weeks after being back she flaked and went back to her family that wanted us to end.

She’s been playing games the past 2 weeks in wanting to come back to the home. I’ve been semi beta & alpha in yes you can and nah you can’t. Anyway... crazy wife got controlled by her mum and made a fake allegation of assault on me! She told her family to get her stuff and take it back home. I’m actually emotionally torn by the way she’s treated me. She constantly plays mind games and can never give me a straight answer. Her family are pushing for a divorce. I can give her that as we are only Religiously married so it ain’t a thing. Just wished I never got into this situation with this bish. She’s begging to come back and constantly emails me.

Day 1 no contact and I ain’t going to stop. My song is back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6T3I_Zskfs

[thatsnarf]

lol since i mentioned my ex is currently paying me back, i'll assume this is directed at me.

but no, i'm not using it as an excuse "to keep in touch". he had originally requested we speak weekly to confirm payments (cuz he's extremely financially irresponsible and felt he might forget if he didn't have that reminder every week). i agreed to this at first, but after our most recent fallout, held my ground and said i would not be sending him anymore "reminders" cuz i needed to cease contact, and that he either had to take it upon himself to get me my money, or i would let the courts do it for him.

but i will not take it as a loss. it's not hundreds of thousands, but it's a good chunk of money that is owed to me (and that i am now kicking myself daily for for ever lending to him in the first place). definitely won't be making this same mistake again. but i will be getting my money back one way or another. in the meantime, NC continues.

yes, it was in regards to you. i also thought i read another post about money from somebody else after that.

i'm glad you mentioned you'd stop with the reminders. he is a grown adult. you don't forget if you owe somebody money so maybe he was using money as an excuse to keep in touch with you....i don't know but....

take this as a life lesson. be careful with who you lend money to. everything is nice and gravy until money is involved. this goes for family and friends as well. i learned this as well.

[JDkeystone]

yes, it was in regards to you. i also thought i read another post about money from somebody else after that.

i'm glad you mentioned you'd stop with the reminders. he is a grown adult. you don't forget if you owe somebody money so maybe he was using money as an excuse to keep in touch with you....i don't know but....

take this as a life lesson. be careful with who you lend money to. everything is nice and gravy until money is involved. this goes for family and friends as well. i learned this as well.

haha yeah, tell me about it. and i fully knew it was a mistake to even go down that road for lending money to a S.O., but (as always) i believed he would be the exception to the rule, that it would go smoothly and he would pay me back without delay, and our relationship would just continue on cloud 9. oh, the stupid sh*t we do when we're "in love" lol.

anyways, had my date tonight. went extremely well, and will be seeing him again this weekend. gonna be taking it very slow, though (since i'm nowhere close to being over my ex). but thankfully, he understands and said he'll go at my pace. looking forward to our next date already.

[Bella518]

Almost a month of NC ...

[sword_]

Feel bad that I hurt my ex in some instances where she felt inadequate. I should have ended things between us sooner instead of wasting each other's time.

I thought that *maybe* I could be happy with this woman since she did offer many things, but I still had reservations and big things like her wanting to chill and watch reality TV and her not liking to work out that were in conflict with my lifestyle.

I recall an argument where things escalated and I mentioned that she doesn't cook. I recall her going to the fridge and pulling out some organic steak and crying to me "Don't you see I'm trying here? I want to live better too!" or something to that extent. It really did break my heart because I didn't want her to feel substandard.

I know she looked up to me and was happy I was dedicated to lifting and MMA but also wished I made time for her. I got upset that I felt she didn't understand my mentality and I perhaps criticized that. She thought I wanted a gym bunny and wouldn't go to a public gym (only a private gym) to work out because she felt I'd run into hot girls *shrug*.


BUT I know I was there for her in critical moments where her friend was saying she was going to commit suicide, or when she was in the hospital for surgery or when her mom was in the hospital for 5 days starting on Easter Sunday with a rare blood condition. I do get upset that she is saying I failed in certain aspects of the relationship. She is not taking ownership. I am being introspective enough to know my shortcomings.


I think it hurts because we work in the same building and have a lot of mutual friends. Also I know some of her female friends secretly judge me and I want to tell them off. I just wish we were friends...it kinda hurt that she said that she want's nothing to do with me / wish she never met me...this was a stark difference from two weeks ago saying she wants us to be back together. I know she's protecting her heart though and I don't blame her but I wish she knew I do care for her despite the outcome of our romantic relationship.

[najee786]

Feel bad that I hurt my ex in some instances where she felt inadequate. I should have ended things between us sooner instead of wasting each other's time.

I thought that *maybe* I could be happy with this woman since she did offer many things, but I still had reservations and big things like her wanting to chill and watch reality TV and her not liking to work out that were in conflict with my lifestyle.

I recall an argument where things escalated and I mentioned that she doesn't cook. I recall her going to the fridge and pulling out some organic steak and crying to me "Don't you see I'm trying here? I want to live better too!" or something to that extent. It really did break my heart because I didn't want her to feel substandard.

I know she looked up to me and was happy I was dedicated to lifting and MMA but also wished I made time for her. I got upset that I felt she didn't understand my mentality and I perhaps criticized that. She thought I wanted a gym bunny and wouldn't go to a public gym (only a private gym) to work out because she felt I'd run into hot girls *shrug*.


BUT I know I was there for her in critical moments where her friend was saying she was going to commit suicide, or when she was in the hospital for surgery or when her mom was in the hospital for 5 days starting on Easter Sunday with a rare blood condition. I do get upset that she is saying I failed in certain aspects of the relationship. She is not taking ownership. I am being introspective enough to know my shortcomings.


I think it hurts because we work in the same building and have a lot of mutual friends. Also I know some of her female friends secretly judge me and I want to tell them off. I just wish we were friends...it kinda hurt that she said that she want's nothing to do with me / wish she never met me...this was a stark difference from two weeks ago saying she wants us to be back together. I know she's protecting her heart though and I don't blame her but I wish she knew I do care for her despite the outcome of our romantic relationship.

Very good review of your relationship. I’ll explain it in basic terms. She’s on the female version of a No Contact thread staying strong and you are presenting feels (this is normal). She was your drug. Your addiction.

If not for your sake, for her sake...let her go. You can’t determine what the future holds. Who knows she may come around in 5 months time and you might meet a gym bunny! This life is a finite life and the mechanics of people’s attitudes change over time.

Good luck brah.

[Forgotten18]

I'm late to the party...

[sword_]

Very good review of your relationship. I’ll explain it in basic terms. She’s on the female version of a No Contact thread staying strong and you are presenting feels (this is normal). She was your drug. Your addiction.

If not for your sake, for her sake...let her go. You can’t determine what the future holds. Who knows she may come around in 5 months time and you might meet a gym bunny! This life is a finite life and the mechanics of people’s attitudes change over time.

Good luck brah.

Oh I don't blame her for what she's doing I just did like her as a friend and knew her as a friend prior. I just cherish her as a person even though things romantically didn't go well.

And that's not to say I want her back or anything but you know you still value people, etc.

[najee786]

Oh I don't blame her for what she's doing I just did like her as a friend and knew her as a friend prior. I just cherish her as a person even though things romantically didn't go well.

And that's not to say I want her back or anything but you know you still value people, etc.

My wife or soon to be ex wife perhaps were best friends for 3 years before we embarked on the past 1 year romantic relationship. When you enter that realm of romantic relationship, you best believe brother that you will never get that friendship back either. Feels of all them old memories.

If I pursue with this divorce with my wife I can honestly say that I would want to be friends like you are right now but I know for her, it wouldn’t be possible. She looks up to me and knows that I’m better than her (Nah, I really am LOL). All those good years of friendship are thrown down the bin once it enters the romantic realm.

[sword_]

My wife or soon to be ex wife perhaps were best friends for 3 years before we embarked on the past 1 year romantic relationship. When you enter that realm of romantic relationship, you best believe brother that you will never get that friendship back either. Feels of all them old memories.

If I pursue with this divorce with my wife I can honestly say that I would want to be friends like you are right now but I know for her, it wouldn’t be possible. She looks up to me and knows that I’m better than her (Nah, I really am LOL). All those good years of friendship are thrown down the bin once it enters the romantic realm.

Yea when a girl looks up to you but can't have you how she wants that is BAD news.

I saw my ex two weeks ago and had sex with her when she told me to come over..this was during a lunch break. She told me she misses me and wants to get back together and I said not not. I need to be by myself and we aren't on the same page.

I got lines of texts of her asking me why I won't follow my heart with her and why am this and that, etc etc.

Now she kinda hates me at the moment. She owes me a little money and I still have a key to her place :shrug:

[najee786]

Yea when a girl looks up to you but can't have you how she wants that is BAD news.

I saw my ex two weeks ago and had sex with her when she told me to come over..this was during a lunch break. She told me she misses me and wants to get back together and I said not not. I need to be by myself and we aren't on the same page.

I got lines of texts of her asking me why I won't follow my heart with her and why am this and that, etc etc.

Now she kinda hates me at the moment. She owes me a little money and I still have a key to her place :shrug:

In relation to following your heart, it’s a tough one. I follow both my head and my heart. Nevertheless, it gets tougher when my head says no and my heart says yes. Which do you follow? I guess you follow the one that causes the greater happiness for yourself.

On a sub note - it’s pretty ****ty to screw her only 2 weeks ago brah. It’s not really the best way to form a friendship is it now? More like friends with benefits. From your above posts (could be wrong but just my opinion), I believe you have major feels in deciding what you really want with her. I think you need to take a step back and get out of town/city/country for a week with no network leading back to her.

[sword_]

In relation to following your heart, it’s a tough one. I follow both my head and my heart. Nevertheless, it gets tougher when my head says no and my heart says yes. Which do you follow? I guess you follow the one that causes the greater happiness for yourself.

On a sub note - it’s pretty ****ty to screw her only 2 weeks ago brah. It’s not really the best way to form a friendship is it now? More like friends with benefits. From your above posts (could be wrong but just my opinion), I believe you have major feels in deciding what you really want with her. I think you need to take a step back and get out of town/city/country for a week with no network leading back to her.

Nah I just meant at least be friendly.

I should have resisted her advances for me to come over and have sex with her. I DID NOT INITIATE IT.

It's apart of it. Well thanks for letting me rant.

[JDkeystone]

Sorry haven't gotten back to you.

This happens. The weekly contact stuff doesn't help. I hope you get the financial stuff sorted out with him and move on.

The NC thing is not going bad for me

No worries

Guessing you've gotten rid of kik entirely? Lol

[UKmanmore]

fuark broke NC wishing her luck going travelling (i.e. 6 months of getting pounded in Australia). Hold me brahs. No response either, just a "seen" on FB messenger...

[happywithit]

I did something stupid.
I messaged the person I split up with 10 months ago.
I have never contacted an ex.
I only messaged him because I was reminded of him by a new friend.
Bugger!
What was just as bad is the message was kind of...
'Hey how's it going? I was reminded of you the other day so thought I'd see how you are.'

No name in there. It could have been interpreted as an accidental email, which it wasn't.
Oh well don't expect a reply for sure.
Oops.

[JDkeystone]

Ex texted me this morning to say he was depositing extra in my account cuz of all the OT he's done recently, and could afford it. I haven't replied (not even with a "k" or anything). Can sort of understand him giving me the heads up, but still wish he wouldn't text me. Seeing his name appear on my phone stirs so many feelings every time.

Still on NC, though.

[Flexish]

I love double whammy situations. people will let you down every time. I'm honestly done putting myself out there, it's frightening to let someone new in.

[WSG1]

To those who had a pretty nasty relationship/break up that you basically suffered from post break up, How do you "reset" and move on? I swear since finally recovering from the last break up, I dont even want to think about going through that again. I've met girls that i would have liked to get to know but i dont even bother with anything other than small chat with them. I've stuck my hand in a flame once and got burned badly, took months to fully heal, I dont play with fire anymore.