The No Contact Thread v3.0: I'll Hug You Bro No Homo.

[WSG1]

lolll yeah probably


we had insane chemistry. and even though i'm no longer crying everyday over him, i still miss him like crazy. i literally don't want to be with anyone else (and i've turned down every advance i've had since we broke up, cuz i can't bring myself to see anyone else). even with all the problems and recent issues we were dealing with (which got to the point where we were having screaming fits in public). i just feel incredibly empty without him. if the feelings were no longer there, i would agree i'm holding onto nothing. but we've both acknowledged we still love each other, so in some ways, this breakup just feels wrong.

i dunno...i might tell him to meet me at a public place tomorrow instead (to avoid any spontaneous fornicating haha). but i guess a part of me believes our relationship can still be saved. i've never connected this well with anyone before (neither has he). if it can be saved, i'd like to at least find out... </3



i know, i know...i'll be kicking myself and crying to you guys HARD tomorrow night lol. but i'll do what i can to minimize the emotional trauma (ie. no sex). srs.

He wants sex, If its been only a few weeks, he is definitely on a dry spell and youre the vulnerable and easiest choice at the moment. He is probably going to lead you on or turn you into a Fukbuddy and youre most likely going to end up feeling far worse than you did before and youll be starting all over.

Watch, Test him out. Tell him you want to just meet up for a quick coffee somewhere and pretend like you have only a short time to talk because youre busy with your day. If he truly wanted to talk, He will. Youll find out his true intentions real fast.

[sdoo]

Broke up with my girlfriend of 5+ years on august, since then i been beggin her to be back with me, but it only made her more apart . i have been very depressed this past week. i changed to a different city because of work(4 hours drive from hometown) and dont know anyone here. decided to cut all contact on saturday, erased her number and blocked her. it's been hard. music and netflix helps alot. good luck brahs.

DAY 1.

Go out and start doing stuff, don't just sit at home moping and watch netflix. Give yourself 2-3 days, and then afterwards starting hitting the gym like you've never had before. Start meeting new people. Start hanging out with people from work. The worst thing to do when depressed is sit at home and let the thoughts overcome you. Why are you thinking about her; because I guaratee you 100% she doesn't give a FUK about you. Go out, and when you are active it helps you feel better. Whenever I am sad, I hit the gym and I feel better for the rest of the day.

I guarantee you in less than 90 days, she will think "Hmm I wonder how shufflebrah1 is doing he hasn't contacted me recently" and the thought of you moving on or meeting someone else will drive her crazy.

[southernwinds34]

Go out and start doing stuff, don't just sit at home moping and watch netflix. Give yourself 2-3 days, and then afterwards starting hitting the gym like you've never had before. Start meeting new people. Start hanging out with people from work. The worst thing to do when depressed is sit at home and let the thoughts overcome you. Why are you thinking about her; because I guaratee you 100% she doesn't give a FUK about you. Go out, and when you are active it helps you feel better. Whenever I am sad, I hit the gym and I feel better for the rest of the day.

I guarantee you in less than 90 days, she will think "Hmm I wonder how shufflebrah1 is doing he hasn't contacted me recently" and the thought of you moving on or meeting someone else will drive her crazy.

thisthisthis.

I've been a mopey little puss lately over my ex. Tired of it, man. I effed up my hand pretty bad and I nearly got full strength back so I'll be back in the gym all the time and instead of sitting around the house, I'm starting to pick up hobbies. I'm writing more, staying in contact with old friends and staying very busy. One big thing I do now is I drive downtown to Chicago more. I only live about 35 minutes from the city so I'm going to start spending more time down there during the days/nights on weekends, just to meet people and get out of the rut and area I am in. It's not good to remain stagnant. The guy getting over his 5+ relationship should see the oppurtunity he has in a city, I'm starting to take advantage more of mine now that we're done. It's sad how much time I wasted moping when I could've been meeting and dating people who want to be with me in a fresh start. I recommend just to go NC buddy, and start getting yourself out there.

[JDkeystone]

gf, i understand. i have an ex exactly like this. our chemistry is INSANE and i will always love him so much as a person! however** [and this is important], i have thought long and hard and realized we don't have a future. i accept that. it's hard but part of life is letting go....love is as much accepting it, as it is letting it go..

so my question to you is- have you really thought about your future with him? the realistic obstacles to being together longterm? the recent issues of fighting, and any possible solutions?
i'm not saying you're holding onto 'nothing', but i am saying that you are holding onto something that may be best left in your past...you really have to decide if this rela is a part of your present/future, or if it it is best left in your past?

He wants sex, If its been only a few weeks, he is definitely on a dry spell and youre the vulnerable and easiest choice at the moment. He is probably going to lead you on or turn you into a Fukbuddy and youre most likely going to end up feeling far worse than you did before and youll be starting all over.

Watch, Test him out. Tell him you want to just meet up for a quick coffee somewhere and pretend like you have only a short time to talk because youre busy with your day. If he truly wanted to talk, He will. Youll find out his true intentions real fast.

we didn't end up seeing each other monday night after all. he had to pull overtime cuz his lazy, unemployed, mooching older brother showed up on his doorstep last week, begging for a place to stay cuz he got kicked out of his old place, and had "nowhere else to go". and now it seems his brother has extended his stay, and my ex (being the pushover that he is), is letting him stay a bit longer, and is basically supporting him entirely while he's there. so he needs the extra hours from work cuz he already struggles financially as it is. he says he wants to talk this weekend though. basically said he wants to "try again" but after we discuss a bunch of issues we need to work past first.

i might've been open to that prior to finding out he let his brother move in temporarily, but that's kinda taken my blinders off. even though i love him and miss him a ton, this is just another example of the kind of retarded sh*t he does, when he knows it's a bad idea. he already lives paycheque to paycheque, has 2 huge mastiff dogs to take care of, owes me and his mother money on top of that, and then still lets his older brother move in when he should be more than capable of supporting himself. we had countless fights about his finances and awful budgeting skills while we were together, and he was the one who even said he didn't wanna get back together until he had his "sh*t together first". and then he goes and does something like this.


we'll talk, but i don't see a reunion happening anymore. he just doesn't change.

[daisygirl713]

basically said he wants to "try again" but after we discuss a bunch of issues we need to work past first.
we had countless fights about his finances and awful budgeting skills while we were together, and he was the one who even said he didn't wanna get back together until he had his "sh*t together first". and then he goes and does something like this.

we'll talk, but i don't see a reunion happening anymore. he just doesn't change.

i just finished a book recently, that was packed with a ton of life wisdom...and there was a quote in there about love. your situation reminded me of it:

"there are a few rules i know to be true about love...:if you don't respect the other person, you're going to have a lot of trouble. if you don't know how to compromise, you're going to have a lot of trouble. if you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're going to have a lot of trouble. and if you don't have a common set of of values in life, you're going to have a lot of trouble. your values must be alike."

...those last two lines- they resonated with me regarding your situation. you guys don't have similar life values regarding money. that is HUGE. as the quote says- you're going to have A LOT of trouble. by all means, talk if you feel it within you to do so [not impulsively or out of lust, but from your heart*].
HOWEVER, DO NOT put those blinders back on! keep your eyes wide open. go into whatever you do with 20/20 vision. do not forget that your life values are very, very different...and until they merge into something more cohesive, it doesn't bode well for the two of you.
and finally- take care of your heart. no one else will do it for you; you must do it for yourself. keep your head up, gf!

[iamdetermined]

Not sure if I'm asking for advice or just typing this to let my feelings out but I'm coming up on two weeks NC and although things are getting better, they are still pretty bad. That whole first week I was just devastated, couldn't eat and felt like I just couldn't live... even had thoughts of moving away and starting a new life all over again. I was even seriously looking into getting on cell tech to feel better about myself lulz. After talking to some friends it gave me a different perspective on how everything ended and I realized that maybe this girl didn't really love me, and didn't mean it when she'd say things like she wanted to spend her life with me if she broke up with me so abruptly and in such a humiliating manner. See link for details, cliffs at bottom.

Although I'm looking at the situation more objectively, I miss her alot. This was the first girl that I was more or less myself with, and the first girl that I really started to fall in love with. I still think about her almost all the time, sometimes scared that I'm gonna see her with another guy around school or something, been doing everything to avoid the possibility of running into her.The worst part is that I know the point of NC is to move on, and I am partly doing it because of that but to be honest I'm really doing it in hopes that she will text me one day, forgiving me. Maybe she'll realize that I was willing to change for her, or after dealing with a couple of guys she'll realize how much I really care for her. Even though I've realized I need to move on letting go of the hope of getting her back is so hard. I still open my phone hoping to see a text from her and every night I dream of her either calling/texting me or of us getting back together. To add insult to injury she probably doesn't even think of me and thats pretty hard to deal with too.

Really sucks cause I do understand that there are other girls out there, many of which would be willing to date me, but I just don't have the energy or desire to flirt since I want my ex back. I used to talk to every girl as if I was trying to bang them but nowadays I just say the bare minimum, even when I can tell I have a decent shot with them, I don't even try to be funny or alpha etc., Feels like I won't be myself for a while..

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...post1389529103

[Chris2far]

Currently on day 4 of NC. Earlier today I went through my phone with the intention of deleting all her pics and I broke down and started reminiscing. Had a sick feeling in my gut since closed my phone didn't delete anything feelsbadman.
I've never given a fk about anyone before and I hate that someone can have this effect on me

[Bella518]

2 weeks of NC. I don't think about him much anymore, and when I do, I don't get sad. He really didn't give anything, it was only me addicted to his presence. I deleted his phone number. It feels good not to have him on my phone anymore.

He was an ex, we we were separate for a couple of months before, so it just feels like I'm back to those months when I was without him and doing fine. Never go back to an ex!

[KMadigan777]

bros and bras, listen up, I am no expert just a man, but I am generally recovered from this stupid bish that I was posting on 1-2 months ago, I ALWAYS NEEDED MORE ANSWERS, MORE 'WHAT IFS', MORE SHOULDS, and what it did was keep her in my mind, even if I was 'NC'.

When I just stopped obsessing, FORCED myself to think of other things, it got better so much faster. I'm not 'clear' yet, but it went from hours spent a day 'what if!?!?!?' to like 3 times a day 'yeah she was dumb, what about something else?', you can do it, rage/vent a little if you must, but then DISTRACT YOURSELF - it actually works.

[Bella518]

bros and bras, listen up, I am no expert just a man, but I am generally recovered from this stupid bish that I was posting on 1-2 months ago, I ALWAYS NEEDED MORE ANSWERS, MORE 'WHAT IFS', MORE SHOULDS, and what it did was keep her in my mind, even if I was 'NC'.

When I just stopped obsessing, FORCED myself to think of other things, it got better so much faster. I'm not 'clear' yet, but it went from hours spent a day 'what if!?!?!?' to like 3 times a day 'yeah she was dumb, what about something else?', you can do it, rage/vent a little if you must, but then DISTRACT YOURSELF - it actually works.

I agree with giving yourself a couple of days to vent/cry/sleep/eat ice cream LOL ... And then start pushing yourself out there. Doing things to replace the thoughts of that person and keep NC ....

Eventually we will forget and move on ... We go from thinking about them all day long, to a couple of times a day, and 1 day we are going to go to bed and realize we didn't think about that person at all that day.

Then it will be once a week, once a month ..... And so on ...

[Violettt]

bros and bras, listen up, I am no expert just a man, but I am generally recovered from this stupid bish that I was posting on 1-2 months ago, I ALWAYS NEEDED MORE ANSWERS, MORE 'WHAT IFS', MORE SHOULDS, and what it did was keep her in my mind, even if I was 'NC'.

When I just stopped obsessing, FORCED myself to think of other things, it got better so much faster. I'm not 'clear' yet, but it went from hours spent a day 'what if!?!?!?' to like 3 times a day 'yeah she was dumb, what about something else?', you can do it, rage/vent a little if you must, but then DISTRACT YOURSELF - it actually works.

Thanks, that's so true. Basically...I'm over it. Had a rough couple days but I'm perfectly fine now. Good luck guys/gals!! Use this time to make some sexyass gains

[TristanCKN]

Guess I'll bite

Ex ****ed me over and used me so we stopped talking and broke up. Didn't talk for a month then I make the mistake of messaging her a month ago, she's dating a new guy, ****ed him blah blah has feelings for him blah despite it being a month.

Anyway I've gone NC for a month now and I think about her everyday, feelings of hate turn into missing her even tho I don't like her. I'm dating someone else now but I still can't stop thinkin about my ass of an ex.

I was deleting our watsapp history the other day and saw her profile pic, honestly looked 9/10 and it made me feel so much regret. Will these feelings dissipate?

[KMadigan777]

Thanks, that's so true. Basically...I'm over it. Had a rough couple days but I'm perfectly fine now. Good luck guys/gals!! Use this time to make some sexyass gains

Bella and Violett I got a serious question for you guys, I know you get WKed the chit out of here, but if you are as cute as your ava, why dont you JUST GO UP TO GUYS and ask/talk to them?

98% of guys would love a girl coming to talk to them, I dont really get how a 'cute' girl could ever be lonely.

[najee786]

Wow can’t believe I’m back on this thread...after I’m married to a new girl as well! Misc taught me well so welcome me back oh heavenly brahs.

Ok so where to start...

I’ve been married to my wife for just under 5 months now. We are asian so her traditional parents didn’t accept me. She decided she was going to run away for me. Good job my family are liberal so we welcomed her in with open arms. Now the first 2 months were so hard as they kept telling her to come back and when she did they would keep her locked up in the house and brainwash her that I’m no good. Each time I kept saving her. Now she went no contact for 2 months and we were having an amazing time where we even went to ***** for 9 days which was amazing.

Since we got back she kept telling me she was having feels missing her parents. I said don’t worry they will subside. Anyway, she asked me for my car keys (bare in mind I’m financing everything for her food clothes car etc), she didn’t come home and went to her parents house. She took my car and left it in a stranded road and said it was over. I was irate as oppose to upset LOL. I wanted my damn car Brahs! She brought the cops to my house as she claimed to be scared wanting her clothes. I told her to **** off if she wasn’t going to stay this time as there is no point. She left and within hours she crumbled begging to come back. My mum was heartbroken (only live with mum) and she has banned her from going back.

Anyway she has been staying at her grandparents the past week and she wanted to go to her sister’s graduation. Her whole family but more so her sister cuts into our relationship the most. I said nah don’t go but you can have contact with your family if you want. Friday, Saturday and Sunday she begged me but I stood my alpha ground and said no. She later texts me she’s so sorry but she’s staying over as she can’t miss her sister’s graduation.

Brahs I feel like a laughing stock to her family who ****ing use and abuse her whenever they want. I said to her get back home for 10PM or you and me are done. She’s bull****ting she couldn’t. I clicked block on iPhone and WhatsApp. This time I’m genuinely done and will get a divorce. Islamic marriage not binding under UK law so she ain’t taking **** from me hahahahaha!

Day 1 NC.... I know this is a marriage but she has already broke my mums heart last week by going back and bringing the police to our front door then retracting a statement and begging to come back! She ****ed up. Let it go brahs? Or let her crumble with NC for a month?

I’ve taken my ring off and don’t mind going on a wild alpha one but I’ve come her for the more srs brahs to help. (ladies you are more than welcome to answer but please do not question anything or ask me to elaborate as she is in the wrong and everyone can see that so follow the general guideline ha)

Thanks Brahs!

[PeakyBlinder]

Wow can�t believe I�m back on this thread...after I�m married to a new girl as well! Misc taught me well so welcome me back oh heavenly brahs.

Ok so where to start...

I�ve been married to my wife for just under 5 months now. We are asian so her traditional parents didn�t accept me. She decided she was going to run away for me. Good job my family are liberal so we welcomed her in with open arms. Now the first 2 months were so hard as they kept telling her to come back and when she did they would keep her locked up in the house and brainwash her that I�m no good. Each time I kept saving her. Now she went no contact for 2 months and we were having an amazing time where we even went to ***** for 9 days which was amazing.

Since we got back she kept telling me she was having feels missing her parents. I said don�t worry they will subside. Anyway, she asked me for my car keys (bare in mind I�m financing everything for her food clothes car etc), she didn�t come home and went to her parents house. She took my car and left it in a stranded road and said it was over. I was irate as oppose to upset LOL. I wanted my damn car Brahs! She brought the cops to my house as she claimed to be scared wanting her clothes. I told her to **** off if she wasn�t going to stay this time as there is no point. She left and within hours she crumbled begging to come back. My mum was heartbroken (only live with mum) and she has banned her from going back.

Anyway she has been staying at her grandparents the past week and she wanted to go to her sister�s graduation. Her whole family but more so her sister cuts into our relationship the most. I said nah don�t go but you can have contact with your family if you want. Friday, Saturday and Sunday she begged me but I stood my alpha ground and said no. She later texts me she�s so sorry but she�s staying over as she can�t miss her sister�s graduation.

Brahs I feel like a laughing stock to her family who ****ing use and abuse her whenever they want. I said to her get back home for 10PM or you and me are done. She�s bull****ting she couldn�t. I clicked block on iPhone and WhatsApp. This time I�m genuinely done and will get a divorce. Islamic marriage not binding under UK law so she ain�t taking **** from me hahahahaha!

Day 1 NC.... I know this is a marriage but she has already broke my mums heart last week by going back and bringing the police to our front door then retracting a statement and begging to come back! She ****ed up. Let it go brahs? Or let her crumble with NC for a month?

I�ve taken my ring off and don�t mind going on a wild alpha one but I�ve come her for the more srs brahs to help. (ladies you are more than welcome to answer but please do not question anything or ask me to elaborate as she is in the wrong and everyone can see that so follow the general guideline ha)

Thanks Brahs!

Das fuarked up mane.

Tbh i think the damage is already done now that she has upset your mother etc. I don't think there is much coming back from this, her parents obviously are able to influence her and if you stay together the same sh!t will keep on happening over and over.

Like you say in your sig - one life, one shot. Why waste it on a woman who brings so much drama with her

[InVentive44]

Wow can’t believe I’m back on this thread...after I’m married to a new girl as well! Misc taught me well so welcome me back oh heavenly brahs.

Ok so where to start...

I’ve been married to my wife for just under 5 months now. We are asian so her traditional parents didn’t accept me. She decided she was going to run away for me. Good job my family are liberal so we welcomed her in with open arms. Now the first 2 months were so hard as they kept telling her to come back and when she did they would keep her locked up in the house and brainwash her that I’m no good. Each time I kept saving her. Now she went no contact for 2 months and we were having an amazing time where we even went to ***** for 9 days which was amazing.

Since we got back she kept telling me she was having feels missing her parents. I said don’t worry they will subside. Anyway, she asked me for my car keys (bare in mind I’m financing everything for her food clothes car etc), she didn’t come home and went to her parents house. She took my car and left it in a stranded road and said it was over. I was irate as oppose to upset LOL. I wanted my damn car Brahs! She brought the cops to my house as she claimed to be scared wanting her clothes. I told her to **** off if she wasn’t going to stay this time as there is no point. She left and within hours she crumbled begging to come back. My mum was heartbroken (only live with mum) and she has banned her from going back.

Anyway she has been staying at her grandparents the past week and she wanted to go to her sister’s graduation. Her whole family but more so her sister cuts into our relationship the most. I said nah don’t go but you can have contact with your family if you want. Friday, Saturday and Sunday she begged me but I stood my alpha ground and said no. She later texts me she’s so sorry but she’s staying over as she can’t miss her sister’s graduation.

Brahs I feel like a laughing stock to her family who ****ing use and abuse her whenever they want. I said to her get back home for 10PM or you and me are done. She’s bull****ting she couldn’t. I clicked block on iPhone and WhatsApp. This time I’m genuinely done and will get a divorce. Islamic marriage not binding under UK law so she ain’t taking **** from me hahahahaha!

Day 1 NC.... I know this is a marriage but she has already broke my mums heart last week by going back and bringing the police to our front door then retracting a statement and begging to come back! She ****ed up. Let it go brahs? Or let her crumble with NC for a month?

I’ve taken my ring off and don’t mind going on a wild alpha one but I’ve come her for the more srs brahs to help. (ladies you are more than welcome to answer but please do not question anything or ask me to elaborate as she is in the wrong and everyone can see that so follow the general guideline ha)

Thanks Brahs!

No coming back from that man...

she called the COPS on you! I wouldn't take her back at all. Thank god she did this 5 months in as opposed to 5 years!

[sdoo]

Bella and Violett I got a serious question for you guys, I know you get WKed the chit out of here, but if you are as cute as your ava, why dont you JUST GO UP TO GUYS and ask/talk to them?

98% of guys would love a girl coming to talk to them, I dont really get how a 'cute' girl could ever be lonely.

They would rather be a side girl to an alpha than the main girl to a beta

[southernwinds34]

Let myself and even some of you guys, down.

Tried getting my ex back like a lost lamb. Past week

[Flexish]

2 weeks of NC. I don't think about him much anymore, and when I do, I don't get sad. He really didn't give anything, it was only me addicted to his presence. I deleted his phone number. It feels good not to have him on my phone anymore.

He was an ex, we we were separate for a couple of months before, so it just feels like I'm back to those months when I was without him and doing fine. Never go back to an ex!

So happy for you!

Feeling better these days. Certain across my ex(years ago, almost married him )on ********. Wow time was not kind. No feels. Momentarily curious if the "change" he was showing was real but knowing him, doubtful. Blocked him so ******** wouldn't suggest me as a friend and moved on.

Feels lately about wanting to date again but I admit, I'm terrified of investing time, energy (I'm an extremely devoted person) only to be let down again.

Hate to say but I don't think I'll go all in emotionally this time around

[PeakyBlinder]

Just got hit by the feels train so going to post in here to get some of it off my chest.

Been dating a girl since May after getting out of a 4.5 year relationship in April. Things had been going alright although i knew at the back of my mind that it wasn't going anywhere as we had different plans for the future.

Anyway we got into an argument on Tuesday i believe about the fact that i was going to meet up with an old friend of mine who is a girl for lunch. In the end she said she was cool with me going but i didn't go anyway due to a family emergency.

After that everything was fine and things were back to normal although when i saw her on Thursday night she went home after an hour even though we had plans to spend the night together because she wasn't feeling very well, which in hindsight may have been a sign something was up although she could have just been ill.

Anyway i head to hers on Saturday as we had plans to make dinner together and have a quiet night in. On my way to hers i stop off at the store and pick everything up for dinner. Literally the second i got through the door she went mad at me calling me an idiot because i didn't get anything she liked even though i picked everything up we had discussed. This went on for about 5 minutes at which point i just said I'm not putting up with this, picked all my stuff up and drove home.

When i got home i sent her a text saying that i didn't know what her problem was but that i wouldn't put up with her speaking to me like that. She replied that she thinks part of the problem is that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, and that we should talk about it on Sunday as she is too angry to talk about it in person that day. I said fine and left it at that. Haven't heard anything from her since, so i guess thats that! Day 2 of NC and have been feeling fine up until about half an hour ago. I thought she would have called to talk by now. At the time i was 50/50 as to whether she meant she wanted to break up or she was just in a bad mood, but i guess the fact i haven't heard from her since means we're broken up.

Not sure how i feel about it, deep down i knew it wouldn't last but I'm not used to being alone having been in relationships constantly for the last six years.

CLIFFS:
- had argument mid week but GF seemed fine after
- next time i saw her she cut it short because she was 'ill'
- went to hers on saturday and she went mad for apparently no reason and i left
- exchanged a few texts after where she said she didn't want to be with me and that we would talk face to face sunday
- haven't heard from her since

[Thillygooth]

Let myself and even some of you guys, down.

Tried getting my ex back like a lost lamb. Past week

I Know your story, and I was there for many months. Kept trying even though it was apparent to everyone but me it was futile.

You're human and move on. You're not going to get the closure you're looking for, man.

[Thillygooth]

So happy for you!

Feeling better these days. Certain across my ex(years ago, almost married him )on ********. Wow time was not kind. No feels. Momentarily curious if the "change" he was showing was real but knowing him, doubtful. Blocked him so ******** wouldn't suggest me as a friend and moved on.

Feels lately about wanting to date again but I admit, I'm terrified of investing time, energy (I'm an extremely devoted person) only to be let down again.

Hate to say but I don't think I'll go all in emotionally this time around

Where I'm at as well..

Im just taking some time off from the whole game. Working on myself, and wanting to be single for a while.

[FryDude]

I haven't been on here in ages and it feels awkward logging in solely to spill out my guts to a bunch of semi-strangers (you guys are all my bros even if i don't know you), but alas I shall.

Cliffs:

Meet chick off POF
Go on a few dates, I go in for the kill but she wants to wait.

She goes on a mini vacation and comes back acting different. The only reason I'm posting this is because too many times guys don't trust their intuition enough. There's over thinking a situation and there's sensing something is different, and the latter in most cases is spot on if you're an intuitive person.

I had suspected that she met someone, and it comes with the territory knowing that the availability of 'fresh' mates on POF is half the appeal with the site. To make a very typical story short, I asked her out and she hit me plain out told me that was she was seeing someone and didn't want to see me again.

Perfectly cool. There isn't any real fast rule for dating but if you suspect a female is being blunt with you, she most likely is. Actions speak louder than words.

This isn't even a no contact story in the traditional sense, I just don't see the need to keep her contact info or ever reply to her should she ever become 'available' again. You don't lose anything by hearing the 'no' and I could have saved myself a lot of useless chatting and probing had I just asked her out again right from the jump. I need to stop getting so personally invested so fast...

This was the very definition of a cool story and now that I'm done hearing my thoughts aloud I feel better.

Thanks misc, have a beautiful evening my dudes.

[UAGreg]

3 years later and this thread is still going strong. Props fellas/ladies.

Living proof here that it does get better. There's still certain things that make me remember my ex (mainly the fact that I never could delete her from social media). I've accepted that our paths will never cross again, and honestly I'm ok with it. It just wasn't meant to be. She's moved on with her life and so have I. I'm a better person for the experience, and I wouldn't change anything.

Hang in there everyone, it does get better, I promise.

[Distancing]

Well, I'm gonna share my experience post-break up, maybe some guys can learn from what I've been going through.

-Broke up with ldr gf(Saw her for the first time this year) 1.5 years
-No contact for 2 weeks, but after that she contacted me
-Told me she was nothing without me
-I fell into the trap and agreed to be back together
-Relationship wasn't the same at all, lots of fights and she confessed me that she wasn't happy with me and that I always hurt her, actually she confessed me that coming here and all the **** she had to go through was the worst trip and experience of her life (She came on vacation, I was in school. Pretty busy, we still managed to spend time with each other but apparently I wasn't enough and she's extremly sensitive)
-Ended up heartbroken and like a big piece of chit
-Probably ending up this today

Maybe in a way was good to break NC here, truth be told and that made things easier, but hurtful as well. Honestly I don't know, we're supposed to talk today and see what are we going to do. As much as this hurts, things will get better since I know the truth now, whether with or without her. But honestly I don't really see myself with her in a future anymore. Sucks, due my actions I lost someone who anyone would be happy to have.
We'll see what future has to offer, whatever it is I'll learn to move on.

[fts96]

18yo just out of my very first relationship for 2 years, absolutely broken can barely eat, so bored all the time, getting on terribly with everyone because of it. We have all the same friends and go the same places I cant even see her without getting really upset, did no contact for a few days felt a bit better but now right back to square one, feel like this will never end

[AsomughaToMouth]

I've been NC for about two months. Met up with a friend at a bar on Sunday to watch football game. I see my ex at the bar when I got there, and our two groups of friends grabbed a table together. I made small-talk but left after about an hour. I didn't feel comfortable in that situation so I said I was going to head to my sister's to watch the afternoon game.

Couldn't stop thinking about her the rest of the day. I thought I was over her but apparently not yet. No big deal just need a place to vent about it. I almost texted her today but instead I'm typing on here.

Keep it going brahs - it definitely gets easier with time.

[sword_]

Haven't really been NC with my ex she works at my workplace. I saw her down the hallway one time last week and it gave me a bit of a somber feeling because two weeks ago we were at least friendly towards one another and to see it diminish kinda sucks.

She was super nice to me last week...sort of hit me up during my lunch break for sex and I took the bait. She got pissed because I said I didn't want to be together and needed time alone and was nice that weekend. I asked for my money for these tickets I bought for us last month and she flipped her **** "I WILL PAY YOU WHEN I CAN". I still have a key to her place heh. I am at least mature enough to realize that we are NOT compatible and have too many personality differences...at a later stage of our relationship I admit I had a wandering eye and started losing attraction to her but she was always more attracted to me than vice versa.

I did have a little personal frustration regarding being alone and I will admit some of my personal insecurities and demons arose and messed with my mindset. The break up sort of made me affirm one of my beliefs of not fitting in where I live but meh. Being with her made me think I am settling in multiple aspects of my life and I beat myself up on it. I am doing great in my life but I tend to be hard on myself.

I've been focusing on an amateur MMA fight and reconnecting with friends of mine.

Went on a date with a 21 year old lulz everything went better than expected. No Netflix and chill I'm a gentleman. We've been talking for a minute but she's stationed here until Nov so maybe a bit of a fling action? That's all that will come out of it but she was real fun to talk to and I've been kinda irritated with most people as of late so it was refreshing.

There's a girl I train with at MMA class that my boy gave me a bit of info on. I thought she was married. I would see her there and she would never really talk to me, but I later realized she sort of picks and chooses who to talk to. The last times I've ran into her she's been gregarious and I've been busting her balls on stuff and also helping her out with her technique.

brb 5'7''
brb puerto rican
brb gymnast coach
brb funny / gets my humor / fun to talk to.

I will have to pursue that without losing focus on my fight training.

[JDkeystone]

i just finished a book recently, that was packed with a ton of life wisdom...and there was a quote in there about love. your situation reminded me of it:

"there are a few rules i know to be true about love...:if you don't respect the other person, you're going to have a lot of trouble. if you don't know how to compromise, you're going to have a lot of trouble. if you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're going to have a lot of trouble. and if you don't have a common set of of values in life, you're going to have a lot of trouble. your values must be alike."

...those last two lines- they resonated with me regarding your situation. you guys don't have similar life values regarding money. that is HUGE. as the quote says- you're going to have A LOT of trouble. by all means, talk if you feel it within you to do so [not impulsively or out of lust, but from your heart*].
HOWEVER, DO NOT put those blinders back on! keep your eyes wide open. go into whatever you do with 20/20 vision. do not forget that your life values are very, very different...and until they merge into something more cohesive, it doesn't bode well for the two of you.
and finally- take care of your heart. no one else will do it for you; you must do it for yourself. keep your head up, gf!

well, chica you (and several other people ITT) were right.

i knew, in my head, i should've listened to you guys. i knew continuing contact with him was a mistake. i knew giving him another chance (or even having discussion of it) was a bad idea. and i definitely knew having anything further to do with him beyond collecting the money that he owes me would NOT end well (for the same reasons our relationship ended in the first place).

but, being the over-emotional, illogical idiot that i am, i let my feelings for him blind my better judgment, and tried (briefly) to revive what we had. i see no need to go into detail on what happened, but in short, it ended 100x worse than our original breakup a month ago. the only thing i'm thankful for is we did NOT have sex during this time (srs). made out and cuddled, but that was it. never has being on my period come at a better time lol.

but anyways, it really is over now. i instructed him today that i don't even want to remain in weekly contact with him as we had been for confirming when and how he'd be paying me. i simply said i would be checking my account weekly to see that he's deposited what he owes me, and that, should he be late with or under-deposit so much as even ONE payment, the next form of contact he would have from me would be in getting served with court papers.

and NC for me officially starts tomorrow (this time for real). i also have a date wednesday night with a really sweet guy, too. might be too soon for me, but he's aware of what happened with my ex, and that i'm not rushing into anything right now. looking forward to it.


gonna have one last good, hard cry tonight before bed. after that, i will not allow myself to shed another tear for him again. no guy is worth this. :'(

[sword_]

well, chica you (and several other people ITT) were right.

i knew, in my head, i should've listened to you guys. i knew continuing contact with him was a mistake. i knew giving him another chance (or even having discussion of it) was a bad idea. and i definitely knew having anything further to do with him beyond collecting the money that he owes me would NOT end well (for the same reasons our relationship ended in the first place).

but, being the over-emotional, illogical idiot that i am, i let my feelings for him blind my better judgment, and tried (briefly) to revive what we had. i see no need to go into detail on what happened, but in short, it ended 100x worse than our original breakup a month ago. the only thing i'm thankful for is we did NOT have sex during this time (srs). made out and cuddled, but that was it. never has being on my period come at a better time lol.

but anyways, it really is over now. i instructed him today that i don't even want to remain in weekly contact with him as we had been for confirming when and how he'd be paying me. i simply said i would be checking my account weekly to see that he's deposited what he owes me, and that, should he be late with or under-deposit so much as even ONE payment, the next form of contact he would have from me would be in getting served with court papers.

and NC for me officially starts tomorrow (this time for real). i also have a date wednesday night with a really sweet guy, too. might be too soon for me, but he's aware of what happened with my ex, and that i'm not rushing into anything right now. looking forward to it.


gonna have one last good, hard cry tonight before bed. after that, i will not allow myself to shed another tear for him again. no guy is worth this. :'(

Sorry haven't gotten back to you.

This happens. The weekly contact stuff doesn't help. I hope you get the financial stuff sorted out with him and move on.

The NC thing is not going bad for me