At what point in your life did it dawn on you that you were unattractive/ugly?

[d1154802]

shes hot well done, if a girl approaches you you arent even close to ugly

lmao i think it was that big boy thing with highschoolers. im a sophmore in college so highschool girls tend to drool. they like older guys. i remember in highschool, when the seniors brag about college boyfriends.

[scottsimonds]

I asked out a lot of girls in middle school and I got rejected each and every single time. I think that's why I'm so terrified about asking a girl out. I made some progress and asked a girl I know to a gala yesterday, but she told me "maybe." Which, to me, means no but it's too far in advance for her to have an excuse lol

Same here. Perfectly fine messaging or talking with a girl I work with or have known for years but if I am remotely attracted to them it's like this wall comes up and I just go into shutdown mode and lose all sense on how to talk or interact with people.

[Project_BelAir]

lmao i think it was that big boy thing with highschoolers. im a sophmore in college so highschool girls tend to drool. they like older guys. i remember in highschool, when the seniors brag about college boyfriends.

brb hanging out in front of high schools on the hood of a '67 Camaro.

Same here. Perfectly fine messaging or talking with a girl I work with or have known for years but if I am remotely attracted to them it's like this wall comes up and I just go into shutdown mode and lose all sense on how to talk or interact with people.

Yup, I've actually been just feeling totally hopeless before even making any kind of communication with a girl. If I see an attractive girl, I automatically just think to myself, "Why would she like me? It's not even worth the effort."

[snucks]

Yeah, school was definitely the worst time of my life. Only 2 friends, and we mostly just played Chess or read books and then talked about them (kind of our own little book club). I think I asked out 3 girls total, all of which publicly made fun of me for it which only resulted in greater bullying by the guys. Never told oneitis that I liked her.. barely even talked to her, and then it was only because we were both in band class together. She's married now with kids, but still looks damn near the same at age 34 as she did at 17. Still a 10/10 to me (misc standards.. probably a 6 but whatever).

Ye olde Oneitis:

That woman is straight up attractive. Misc standards are so far out of whack with reality its hilarious.


My oneitis from high school looks like Skeletor now. Most white women just dont age well at all thats for sure.

I picked n choosed who I hung out with back then. I didn't think any girl ever liked me the entire time. I was the only football player the cheerleaders didn't buy candy for. It was a tradition back then having class interrupted for candy delivery lol I never experienced those feels.
I also never went to any dances at all.

[InstantLoser]

Same here. Perfectly fine messaging or talking with a girl I work with or have known for years but if I am remotely attracted to them it's like this wall comes up and I just go into shutdown mode and lose all sense on how to talk or interact with people.

Exactly this. I have a few female co-workers, and my boss is a woman. Actually my boss is a rather attractive black woman who, were she not married or you know.. my boss, (in another life perhaps) I would consider dating/etc. But, because there's zero chance of anything happening with any of these women, and there's no real attraction (my boss not withstanding, and her being the boss pretty much stymies that) with any of them. So they're easy.
Women I find attractive however.. nope. Not happening. It's not a problem of logic, or thinking it through.. I "know" they aren't better than me in the sense that they're just people, but it doesn't matter. When I'm there in the moment, they ARE better than me. I'm not making a conscious decision to place them on a pedestal.. they place themselves on the pedestal. They are simply better than I am, and as such, I don't deserve them. There's nothing I can do about it. It has always been this way, and always will be.

[d1154802]

haha! Oh, jeez, parents.

They're probably at the root of a lot of my insecurities. They don't really call me out on stuff anymore since they're aware I'm self-conscious, BUT they will still do it from time to time. And it stings every single time



Oh! Yeah, I think I read your post about this before! Great job She's beautiful!

But, I'm not anti-social. I'm a part of organization at school and have no problem striking up conversations with random people. I always end up having a group of acquaintances in my classes, but they never develop into actual friendships.

lmao i'm not antisocial, i don't cause harm or break social norms. antisocial is synonymous for sociopath and psychopath. being antisocial has very little to do with being quiet. antisocial people have a negative impact in society. people always define antisocial incorrectly. are you aware of the antisocial personality disorder lmao? http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000921.htm

sorry i got a little technical. you're more social than me, so you should manage to get a girl.

[jamesbwbevis]

I asked out a lot of girls in middle school and I got rejected each and every single time. I think that's why I'm so terrified about asking a girl out.

same, except I'm not afraid to ask girls out but I just know its pointless. If I make my intentions clear they run like the plague, only works if I approach it like a casual friends thing.

[Project_BelAir]

lmao i'm not antisocial, i don't cause harm or break social norms. antisocial is synonymous for sociopath and psychopath. being antisocial has very little to do with being quiet. antisocial people have a negative impact in society. people always define antisocial incorrectly. are you aware of the antisocial personality disorder lmao? http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000921.htm

sorry i got a little technical. you're more social than me, so you should manage to get a girl.

haha I'm well aware..I was just referring to anti-social behavior as defined on the misc. As in not being social, rather than a DSM-5 diagnosis lol

[jamesbwbevis]

lmao i think it was that big boy thing with highschoolers. im a sophmore in college so highschool girls tend to drool. they like older guys. i remember in highschool, when the seniors brag about college boyfriends.

well I went to college and no high school girls wanted to fuk me for it. You are at least mildy attractive if a girl has ever approached you, period

[jamesbwbevis]

haha I'm well aware..I was just referring to anti-social behavior as defined on the misc. As in not being social, rather than a DSM-5 diagnosis lol

ivy league master race checkin in, where did you go?

[Project_BelAir]

ivy league master race checkin in, where did you go?

Columbia, brah! Where do/did you go?

Still in undergrad btw.

[scottsimonds]

Exactly this. I have a few female co-workers, and my boss is a woman. Actually my boss is a rather attractive black woman who, were she not married or you know.. my boss, (in another life perhaps) I would consider dating/etc. But, because there's zero chance of anything happening with any of these women, and there's no real attraction (my boss not withstanding, and her being the boss pretty much stymies that) with any of them. So they're easy.
Women I find attractive however.. nope. Not happening. It's not a problem of logic, or thinking it through.. I "know" they aren't better than me in the sense that they're just people, but it doesn't matter. When I'm there in the moment, they ARE better than me. I'm not making a conscious decision to place them on a pedestal.. they place themselves on the pedestal. They are simply better than I am, and as such, I don't deserve them. There's nothing I can do about it. It has always been this way, and always will be.

Yup. I'm in the same situation at work. Boss is what would be a 9/10 to me and married, 31 years old, drop dead gorgeous. But, since I know nothing would ever come about of it I have no issue in talking.
Really attractive like mid to late 20's girl at the grocery store this morning when I got done chest, smiles and says "Hi." I responded with "Do I know you?" obviously she says no and I proceed to walk down the isle. Later while in line to pay I think "palm to your face you idiot"
Will never understand why I can't just interact with someone I find attractive without feeling like I'm not worthy or whatever it is.

[jamesbwbevis]

Columbia, brah! Where do/did you go?

Still in undergrad btw.

yale 2013 m8, never visited columbia one of my friends in med school there now though.

[d1154802]

haha I'm well aware..I was just referring to anti-social behavior as defined on the misc. As in not being social, rather than a DSM-5 diagnosis lol

lmao you talking about the non medical definition. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/antisocial

my cousin was always good with girls and had a mr fantastic face. i was so puzzled when i would see him talk to a whole bunch of girls. he didn't have to say anything and they approach him. he would have girls from 7 range to 10 which is darn good. he sent me a pic of a girl he talked to that was a 8 or a 9 range.
crazy thing was that they were just talking nothing serious.










i remember seeing her in campus and i couldn't get anywhere near that. pic won't do justice on how attractive she was. she had me drooling sometimes. lmao i have a gf now so i don't care much about her.

[InstantLoser]

Will never understand why I can't just interact with someone I find attractive without feeling like I'm not worthy or whatever it is.

This is where that self-confidence/esteem crap that I don't have and will never have comes into play. I've never had it, and nobody can tell me an actual method for gaining it (many have supplied methods, but none of it does anything).

[Stevenface]

Going perma bulk made me look like fat Val Kilmer, good bye jawline. Also hair is thinning. Legit don't care about looks anymore though

[jamesbwbevis]

This is where that self-confidence/esteem crap that I don't have and will never have comes into play. I've never had it, and nobody can tell me an actual method for gaining it (many have supplied methods, but none of it does anything).

for what its worth, I can talk to chicks I like no problem and it doesnt make a fuking difference.

I actually argue you dont even need confidence or self-esteem, the reason I can talk to girls easy is because I know nothing I say or do will matter they arent going to like me. so fuk it, what is there to lose?

[snucks]

Yup. I'm in the same situation at work. Boss is what would be a 9/10 to me and married, 31 years old, drop dead gorgeous. But, since I know nothing would ever come about of it I have no issue in talking.
Really attractive like mid to late 20's girl at the grocery store this morning when I got done chest, smiles and says "Hi." I responded with "Do I know you?" obviously she says no and I proceed to walk down the isle. Later while in line to pay I think "palm to your face you idiot"
Will never understand why I can't just interact with someone I find attractive without feeling like I'm not worthy or whatever it is.

Having that goofy awkwardness around girls you are 'supposed' to be able to get is common and normal. Once you start thinking of every woman like they should be the ones earning your time and you stop putting them above you talking to them gets unbelievably easier.
Easier said than done I know lol

[scottsimonds]

This is where that self-confidence/esteem crap that I don't have and will never have comes into play. I've never had it, and nobody can tell me an actual method for gaining it (many have supplied methods, but none of it does anything).

I don't have it or see myself ever having it. Always been short and chubby growing up and got heat for that and now I'm just short and stocky. Never made a big deal of being short to myself cause it's nothing I could prevent. I work everyday of the week on top of training in the mornings and have personally just not gave a chit about how I dress or present myself in public lately.

[InstantLoser]

I don't have it or see myself ever having it. Always been short and chubby growing up and got heat for that and now I'm just short and stocky. Never made a big deal of being short to myself cause it's nothing I could prevent. I work everyday of the week on top of training in the mornings and have personally just not gave a chit about how I dress or present myself in public lately.

Yeah I was short and fat, now I'm tall and fat. Fat forever.

[Project_BelAir]

yale 2013 m8, never visited columbia one of my friends in med school there now though.

Nice! I only applied to Columbia, but Yale was my second dream school. I have two friends that transferred from Yale to Columbia and it seems like Yale has more of a campus culture/community. Columbia tends to lack in that department, especially for a commuting student like me haha

lmao you talking about the non medical definition. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/antisocial

my cousin was always good with girls and had a mr fantastic face. i was so puzzled when i would see him talk to a whole bunch of girls. he didn't have to say anything and they approach him. he would have girls from 7 range to 10 which is darn good. he sent me a pic of a girl he talked to that was a 8 or a 9 range.
crazy thing was that they were just talking nothing serious.

I know guys like that. One of my friends who's actually getting engaged has a new side chick basically every single week. He doesn't even do anything, they just throw themselves at him. He's a solid 9/10..dem feels whenever he tells me these stories..

[scottsimonds]

Having that goofy awkwardness around girls you are 'supposed' to be able to get is common and normal. Once you start thinking of every woman like they should be the ones earning your time and you stop putting them above you talking to them gets unbelievably easier.
Easier said than done I know lol

Lately I just haven't even let thought of trying to talk to girls cross my mind. I've done the tinder thing and talk to girls on there but never actually have the ambition to follow through with meeting up after I get their number. Now, actually meeting up and talking to them irl is entirely different hahah.

[d1154802]

well I went to college and no high school girls wanted to fuk me for it. You are at least mildy attractive if a girl has ever approached you, period

have you interacted with them before or you're assuming. make sure they are 18 lmao.

[snucks]

lmao you talking about the non medical definition. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/antisocial

my cousin was always good with girls and had a mr fantastic face. i was so puzzled when i would see him talk to a whole bunch of girls. he didn't have to say anything and they approach him. he would have girls from 7 range to 10 which is darn good. he sent me a pic of a girl he talked to that was a 8 or a 9 range.
crazy thing was that they were just talking nothing serious.










i remember seeing her in campus and i couldn't get anywhere near that. pic won't do justice on how attractive she was. she had me drooling sometimes. lmao i have a gf now so i don't care much about her.

[Project_BelAir]

well I went to college and no high school girls wanted to fuk me for it. You are at least mildy attractive if a girl has ever approached you, period

Just saw this post. Not too sure how it is at Yale, but there's a huge disparity between guys/girls at Columbia. I remember reading dating reviews before I started at Columbia and the girls rated the guys FAR higher than the guys rated the girls. I defiantly see that on campus; There's a lot of "competition."

How are the girls at Yale?

[d1154802]

Nice! I only applied to Columbia, but Yale was my second dream school. I have two friends that transferred from Yale to Columbia and it seems like Yale has more of a campus culture/community. Columbia tends to lack in that department, especially for a commuting student like me haha



I know guys like that. One of my friends who's actually getting engaged has a new side chick basically every single week. He doesn't even do anything, they just throw themselves at him. He's a solid 9/10..dem feels whenever he tells me these stories..

yeah it sucks big time lmao my sister is like that too. she had all those dudes circle around her. now for me its the opposite isn't that ironic.



here is my annoying older sister.

[jamesbwbevis]

have you interacted with them before or you're assuming. make sure they are 18 lmao.

yes I have interacted with them

[Project_BelAir]

yeah it sucks big time lmao my sister is like that too. she had all those dudes circle around her. now for me its the opposite isn't that ironic.



here is my annoying older sister.

haha my older brother was a model..I got the short end of the stick for the physical genes..

[d1154802]

yes I have interacted with them

how in what way? did you creep on them.

[scottsimonds]

haha my older brother was a model..I got the short end of the stick for the physical genes..

Bro, have you ever tried modeling? You're 10x more asthetic than I am and I did modeling in high school with GAP.