the job market these days is a f*cking joke (srs)

[HtotheOV]

not even talking about difficulty finding a job. everything is so cliche (like sending cover letters or thank yous that everyone sends) and specific if that makes any sense. like im graduating this spring and looking for stuff and what ever happened to the basic entry level job and learning? every god damn job (even internships) want you to be proficient in everything. microsoft office i get it but like all these other **** i never came across. "must be exceptional in xxxxx" etc etc...such a joke..im not applying to some advanced level job. dont even get me started with unpaid internships.

[GabrielNovar]

I never walked into a job with a resume....But I could always back it up.

Basically I told them employer right off the bat, I don't care about a salary I have enough money (this was a jedi mind trick on them). Every employer would think you were a boss while the peasants tried to negotiate.

Then I would tell them I am there to perform/win and build lasting relationships.


Only one bitchy HR chick turned me down because she thought not have a salary requirement would mean I don't care about the job. U wot m8

[EvertonFC2010]

she wanted the D, brah

I never walked into a job with a resume....But I could always back it up.

Basically I told them employer right off the bat, I don't care about a salary I have enough money (this was a jedi mind trick on them). Every employer would think you were a boss while the peasants tried to negotiate.

Then I would tell them I am there to perform/win and build lasting relationships.


Only one bitchy HR chick turned me down because she thought not have a salary requirement would mean I don't care about the job. U wot m8

[rjw99]

i agree. brb applying for research position brb having to give phone interview on social networking scenario UWOTM8?!? brb more concerned about WHO gets the job rather than the skills they have.

the thing that amazes me is the amount of administrative jobs around these days, they just push paper from one department to another, waste away time thinking up new networking techniques, coming up with new "in" phrases etc etc and never actually achieving anything

youre right bro jobs and applying for jobs is a JOKE these days

[GabrielNovar]

she wanted the D, brah

lol like 300 lbs annoying as fork and lazy as sheeet 99% of hr people



I would have settled if she asked

[Techriding101]

it's not what you know it's who you know

90% of HR papershuffling is a charade they just have to put on so it looks like everyone gets a fair chance, the useless HR person has a job, and they can eventually still hire the owners golf buddies brothers second nephew.

[aaronstamp]

Got my first job outta school cuz i was in a frat.... what?

[EvertonFC2010]

lol like 300 lbs annoying as fork and lazy as sheeet 99% of hr people



I would have settled if she asked

eww groce

some HR birds are dime pieces nomsayin? walk into an interview and I be like hngggggggggggggggggg

[NotThisShiz]

lol at reading job requirements.. brb lie like a mother fker to get the job. wing the interview and when you start too then progress like a boss srs.

[SDK1990]

Make some contacts OP, there's too many people in the world to get hired off the street

[HtotheOV]

lol at reading job requirements.. brb lie like a mother fker to get the job. wing the interview and when you start too then progress like a boss srs.

this was my next question

can you lie about some skills?? i just got email for phone screening for a market research and analyst position. they say financial modeling experience is preferred and exception excel skills. im ok in excel but internship wouldnt start till end of jan anyways so can always learn over break more. but i dont have experience in financial modeling.

[irmocool]

brb...have to have social skills

phuckin job market

[gunfishin]

Consider it a blessing. Why the fukk anybody would want a job staring at a computer screen all day is beyond me.

[HtotheOV]

i agree. brb applying for research position brb having to give phone interview on social networking scenario UWOTM8?!? brb more concerned about WHO gets the job rather than the skills they have.

the thing that amazes me is the amount of administrative jobs around these days, they just push paper from one department to another, waste away time thinking up new networking techniques, coming up with new "in" phrases etc etc and never actually achieving anything

youre right bro jobs and applying for jobs is a JOKE these days

yup

lol so hard at job postings for like "administrative intern" or "office intern"

the internships i lol most at are the marketing ones. these employers put like "marketing associate intern" as the title when in reality your job is similar to a sales job ina mall.

[technobrah]

k den

[DontHateNate]

has anyone had positive experience just walking in unannounced to corporate offices with their resume?

all this online BS has not amounted to chit

[LesMiscerables]

Most job postings are for the employer's ideal candidate. Having some background in a similar skill or technology might be enough to get an interview, so in many cases, it's worth giving a shot. If they think you're not a candidate, they won't call you back. If they can't find their ideal candidate, they might give you a shot.

[HtotheOV]

has anyone had positive experience just walking in unannounced to corporate offices with their resume?

all this online BS has not amounted to chit

brb just walking into JP Morgan like a boss

[DasWunderBrah]

you need balls OP. have you tried walking up to the owner/CEO and telling him "I'm your man for the job" ?

[StanTheMan250]

I literally fabricated my entire application for my current job.

The entire thing is fake. I actually did it for the lulz but they never called my face references or anything on the application and they hired me.

What a joke lol.

[KReyn]

I always lol at the experience required paradox.

[HtotheOV]

I always lol at the experience required paradox.

way too specific stuff...seriously a damn joke.

[Trem24]

I work in the IT field, and I always would lol at the requirements for an entry level IT job. I thought to myself, if I had all that experience I wouldn't being looking at a helpdesk job.

As someone already said job postings are for the employers ideal candidate. If you don't meet the requirements you should still send in your resume. Also learn to use target resumes.

[Legionarus]

Just be glad you're not in the CS field.

Requirements for an internship after a year of college: Bachelor or equivalent experience, 5+ years of C++, 5+ years of Java, 5+ years of C#/.NET, Expert in SQL, JavaScript, HTML, ASP, PHP, XML, CSS, Assembly, Perl, Prolog, Scheme, proficient in Scala, KFP, NCP, ALS, FTP, SMD, OMG with at least 3 years of experience in XNA, J2EE, Oracle, MSSQL, sucking dick and SOA.

Not even joking just look up some software development jobs and see the list of chit they put on those things.

[samt98]

Awfukbye

[KizzaK]

I've seen internships for minimum wage with a two years work experience requirement. fkin joke

wish I could just fall over, bang my head and think of a CEO idea

[Squeeks]

you need balls OP. have you tried walking up to the owner/CEO and telling him "I'm your man for the job" ?

you know getting a job is hard when you can't tell if this satire or not. funny vid. can't wait to walk into the pizza hut tomorrow and get my job by saying ,"I'm your man for the job".

[Squeeks]

Just be glad you're not in the CS field.

Requirements for an internship after a year of college: Bachelor or equivalent experience, 5+ years of C++, 5+ years of Java, 5+ years of C#/.NET, Expert in SQL, JavaScript, HTML, ASP, PHP, XML, CSS, Assembly, Perl, Prolog, Scheme, proficient in Scala, KFP, NCP, ALS, FTP, SMD, OMG with at least 3 years of experience in XNA, J2EE, Oracle, MSSQL, sucking dick and SOA.

Not even joking just look up some software development jobs and see the list of chit they put on those things.

how would they even know you had 5+ years of experience in those languages. Just lie as long as you have 5+ years of capability in those languages you should be fine. Which is why listing 5+years of experience in those languages is stupid. You could have someone who has 1 year of experience in Java yet is more proficient than someone with 5 years of experience. I've never seen those requirements for a job in CS.

[The_Albatross]

like im graduating this spring and looking for stuff and what ever happened to the basic entry level job and learning?

Those jobs don't exist anymore because this country has done nothing to sustain or create them. If you are applying for a job in the real world that requires knowledge of a computer program or programs, anything from excel to photoshop, I can almost guarantee you that your 4 year school didn't bother teaching you how to become proficient in them and instead chose to waste your time teaching your intangible nonsense.

[omgitzdave]

Just be glad you're not in the CS field.

Requirements for an internship after a year of college: Bachelor or equivalent experience, 5+ years of C++, 5+ years of Java, 5+ years of C#/.NET, Expert in SQL, JavaScript, HTML, ASP, PHP, XML, CSS, Assembly, Perl, Prolog, Scheme, proficient in Scala, KFP, NCP, ALS, FTP, SMD, OMG with at least 3 years of experience in XNA, J2EE, Oracle, MSSQL, sucking dick and SOA.

Not even joking just look up some software development jobs and see the list of chit they put on those things.

Simply not true. You mixed so many environments in your post that it doesn't even make sense.

I advise you to apply for the internship anyway, but try to make yourself stand out. And yes, a Bachelor's Degree OR Equivalent Experience should be necessary. No one is going to let you work on critical corporate applications when you have never touched a keyboard.