I'm so fuked for my new job, what to do? (rent a gf)(semi srs)

[TroyMM]

Try to find a date

but be prepared to go alone

I'm in a similar situation. Company dinner is next week and I have no prospects

[ToXin]

Unless you're 40 yrs old OP, just go solo. Who da fk cares

[ToPHeR35]

But who was escort???

brb showing up with dime piece on your arm and all your new colleagues mirin

[fezz349]

ask HBB from gym

[nick1990]

Go with the tatted girl man
I guarantee everyone will think its awesome and that youre a bad ass
Most corp guys really know how to let loose when they are outside the office.
They will love it

[JooceNasty]

yo, just go by yourself man. Im sure the dudes with the wives will be mad jelly

[x8Pauly8x]

best excuse to cold approach or hit up every dating app/site you can

This. dont even need to use online stuff. Next time you're doing some shopping at a classy store, chat a cute girl up and seal the deal. Who give a chit what happen next, you just need a cute looking chick for status purpose.

[SynapticCleft]

Don't bring anyone. Go alone OP. No one will give a phuck that you're single if anything they'll try to hook you up srs. Happens quite often at my company's parties. If they know you're single they group you up with other singles.

This is also a solid choice. Make gaines with 2 dinners

Go alone, tell them your girl friend is sick, ask for a to go box for the extra meal to take home to her, eat two dinners, get gains, profit

[TheAmericano]

op I work for a big company that does the same.

The dinner isn't until next month so this gives you time to ask around how these dinners are like, and does everyone really bring their SO'. If this is a big company there will be people there who are single. Especially those you give their careers everything = little time to socialize.

Reason's why companies do this:
- It's a way for them to see if the person makes good decisions. Hence, why you want to bring someone social , smart and who gets along with others

- It builds a network.

- It's in way to find out if you're on that ****gy time (srs). If you work for a very conservative company, this is their way of seeing who is straight or gay. Due do discrimination policy, many companies have a 'don't ask, don't tell' mind set. But if they find out you play for the other team, your time and room for growth in that company will be hard. This is due to their top clients being old, rich, and conservative.




If you don't have anyone just go alone.

If you work for a conservative type company, go alone and just say your gf is studying abroad this semester or is on a humanity trip over seas. But make sure you have a solid story, there might be people there who are good at spotting bs.

[onestep]

go with a female miscer
guarantee someone will be up for it

[norecha]

no one makes decisions for you based on who you bring as a date to a company dinner. that chit is supposed to be fun and to celebrate something usually, not to judge people. you all are fukin delusional or actually work for horrible companies

[Weezy32]

Go alone, tell them your girl friend is sick, ask for a to go box for the extra meal to take home to her, eat two dinners, get gains, profit

Best idea i read yet lol ahahha

[HumptyBrah]

Your best options, in this order:

1. Spend the next month finding a date
2. Go alone
3. Take an escort

"Escort" doesn't have to mean hooker, it just means arm candy for rent. Plus I'm sure they go to events like this all the time so they're probably well-mannered.

[Bruvs]

Take an escort and get her to suck bosses cawk for career gains nomsayn?

[Finch000]

OP just remember if you do bring someone and your bosses end up liking her he will ask you to bring her to more work events etc... so just go solo

[NRidder]

Go alone. I guarantee you the company would rather want a guy who is committed to the company, than some guy with a high maintenance sloot who takes up all his time.

Or hire a prostitute and fuk her in the bathroom.

[TheAmericano]

no one makes decisions for you based on who you bring as a date to a company dinner. that chit is supposed to be fun and to celebrate something usually, not to judge people. you all are fukin delusional or actually work for horrible companies

Wrong, they do make decisions based on who you bring.

- A lot of corporate folks strongly believe that the people you choose to associate with is a reflection of your yourself.

- Yes, it is fun but depending on the company, there will still be lots of business talk.

- Sometimes these dinners turn into board meetings right there in front of everyone. Feelings for the waiters, as they are always confused if they should interrupt to offer refills or come back later. At times things can get pretty intense and you get to see first hand how sharks handle business deals/discussions.

- I love my company and my salary. Some people (especially biz and engineers majors) would give there nuts to work where I do.

[JustledRimmies]

Just go alone m8. What if you bring along a random/escort/exand a co-worker/boss and his SO really get along with you and the sloot you bring along and they want to see you again (double date)? Then you're fukked.

[hardbrah69]

Go alone and make friends you poon

[Mr3Glyceride]

Open bar? Will go with you as your bf OP

This. You'll probably be fast tracked for promotion to because of diversity. Srs.

[vqk2016]

just bring your brother. they cant discriminate against your sexuality and even if they do you can take them to court.

[momason]

get an escort. chances are though somebody at the party will recognize her.

[ocieiam]

Is your bench legit 180lbs?
Just wonderin brah

Working weight, yeah. Having surgery on both of my labrums in high school and not lifting in college left me with zero upper body strength. Playing hockey and lacrosse kept my lower body strong.

[Mcfreako]

Bring a dude and pretend ur gay

Companies love ghey bois

[Mumu16]

You need to change your thinking around brah I personally would say I feel good about going on my own it shows I am strong enough not to give a fukkk what people think and I dont have the need for someone to hold my hand. Go by yourself brah its shows strength imo srs

this ... Op please stop being beta /thread

[kyle1922]

tats girl sounds hnnngggg brah got any pics

[DirtyFlopp]

Wrong, they do make decisions based on who you bring.

Totally agree with this, I think it is summed up pretty well in the movie Moneyball when they were discussing on who to draft, and one scout commented "ugly girlfriend means no confidence".

[frmrlurkr]

Just go dude. I will bet $100 you wont be the only single person there.

[NoFeels]

Not everyone is in a stable relationship 100% of the time. Sane people have a period of being single between relationships and don't generally invite girls they've been smashing for a couple of month to work functions (where she is effectively representing you and you need to know/trust her). If anyone asks just tell them you're single right now.

This seems like the kind of thing I'd have been insecure about before I ever had a GF. Once I'd had a couple of GFs I then felt perfectly comfortable being single. To be honest half the guys there will probably be jealous of you and the freedom you have.

[DIL22]

I go to these types of events a few times a year. I've gone with a date and without. It won't be awkward to go alone, guaranteed plenty of others will go alone. That being said, taking a well mannered social girl is the best option.