BF thinks it's fine to go to titty bar

[Kiedis24]

Didn't you also have threads that were all shocked and appalled that he wanted you to wear cosplay costumes while having sex or something? You two might just be on different wavelengths.

Yeah we are on kinda different wavelengths. I wasn't all shocked and appalled in those threads, I was saying that if I could understand what I would be getting myself into, from knowing the appeal of such things and asking others opinions on those sex acts, that I would be open to at least trying it with him. He hasn't even brought it up again anyway.

[Tomohawk92]

OP ur right but titties are so nice to look at, doesnt have anything to do with the girl they're attached to tho.
from the guys side it seems so innocent cuz its just looking at some nice racks as they pass by but turn it around and we would get the bad feeling too

[eltoro24]

Opies titties must be busted.

Let him look who cares really.

I know wife's like you. Leash on really tight. Then when the boys go to Mexico the married hog tied brahs go nuts!!!! Like you don't even want to know.

[jimbong]

I don't necessarily see the harm in it from my point of view, but I know that my wife would not be happy with me going to a strip club and I can't say I would encourage her to go somewhere that dicks are flying all over the place. As such, I limit my attendance at those kind of establishments only to occasions when it can't be avoided (i.e. good friends bach party).

[Poor Excuse]

it would bother me if my chick was going to male strip clubs, so yes OP i understand where youre coming from

[gixxer0.6g]

In on insecure, controlling female thread.


Stop being such a snatch and let your bf have some fun. If you're lucky it will get him going and you'll have some fun when he gets home.

[Kiedis24]

In on insecure, controlling female thread.


Stop being such a snatch and let your bf have some fun. If you're lucky it will get him going and you'll have some fun when he gets home.

Man that is so off-putting!~ Let him go get turned on by someone else and if I'm lucky I'll get some when he gets home~, gross. If I was that desperate I would way rather just sort myself out. We had sex this afternoon twice, it started simply from me hugging him hello when he got home and he got hard from a hug hehe and we got down right then, how pathetic do you have to be to feel lucky that your partner is turned on from someone else to have sex with you? Is that normal for you? Lol

I know someone people on here are agreeing that they wouldn't feel comfortable with it either, but it seems like most people only view it as insecurity on my part and don't quite understand the way it seems to chip at the quality of the relationship, but anyway, I've sent him a msg (as it's late now) and told him he should just go to those things and just let me know, because if he's already wanting to and doesn't see a problem with it, then it's already at that level anyway what's the point in telling him he shouldn't go whilst in a relationship then I dunno :s

[ajs02aj]

I see things a different than most miscers. Is there a problem with going to a topless bar and having a couple of drinks? Eh, not really. It's not cheating. But herein lies the problem, and is what most here fail to realize. It is disrespectful to you and the relationship. Why would he want to put you a position to say "yeah it's okay for you to go have drinks and watch half-naked women"? He has no respect and is selfish.

My philosophy on relationships are simple when it comes to what is okay and what is not, obviously this differs for people, but it doesn't change the fact that things are still disrespectful regardless if either party is okay with it.

Single people do single people things. Couples do couple things.

[Poor Excuse]

the same people here saying "girl is being insecure" are the same ones that would say "dump her .. shes a sloot etc" if it was the other way around

just sayin fellas.. lets keep it square

[aerona]

I'd say no although the majority here are saying yes. Could not imagine my gf going to a strip bar with male strippers or even clubs for that matter. All relationships are different though. Just draw the line and consider your own insecurity and make your decision. Personally I wouldn't like it. Drinking just inhibits all your decision making and just leads to poor choices from both male and female stand point.

[Boffothe]

Man that is so off-putting!~ Let him go get turned on by someone else and if I'm lucky I'll get some when he gets home~, gross. If I was that desperate I would way rather just sort myself out. We had sex this afternoon twice, it started simply from me hugging him hello when he got home and he got hard from a hug hehe and we got down right then, how pathetic do you have to be to feel lucky that your partner is turned on from someone else to have sex with you? Is that normal for you? Lol

I know someone people on here are agreeing that they wouldn't feel comfortable with it either, but it seems like most people only view it as insecurity on my part and don't quite understand the way it seems to chip at the quality of the relationship, but anyway, I've sent him a msg (as it's late now) and told him he should just go to those things and just let me know, because if he's already wanting to and doesn't see a problem with it, then it's already at that level anyway what's the point in telling him he shouldn't go whilst in a relationship then I dunno :s

You're taking the classic "tell him it's okay to do but then be angry at him about it" approach favored by women across the globe. Very grown-up of you. You should throw in the silent treatment too for good measure

[BuildKing]

I would never consider having you as my girlfriend, il just tell you that. Way to suffocate someone.

[ajs02aj]

It's not about your level of insecurity. It's about the fact your partner values the relationship to such a degree he would possibly jeopardize it by even asking if this was okay. He is someone who only cares about what feels good for him, regardless of what it makes you feel. Tell him it is disrespectful to you and the relationship. If he pushes back or ever puts you in this position again, dump him. Srs. He'll ended up taking more than you are willing to give in the long run and this will either end up in a break up or if you were to unfortunately get married you would be part of the divorce statistics.

[JustMoved24]

Again, the reason I used that *hypothetical* example was to show him that if it's designed to tantalize men. When else is a woman naked with a man? Er...sex of course. So it's designed to turn men on as well, so my hypothetical of what if I was in place of the topless waitress, if those men were just like "meh, it's just a bit of eye candy" *hypothetically* and according to his logic, it "wouldn't be a big deal". You see?
The example wasn't about our intents, it was about what men are thinking when they see a woman with he bare breasts sticking out in front of them.

We actually spoke about that at one point too, he said he would totally be a stripper if he had a big dick. I was a bit shocked with that, as he often refers to chicks as sluts and chit, yet he would literally be one if he had a, in his own words "a big dick".
And no I wouldn't be comfortable with him being one, I couldn't respect that in a man.
Anyway, that's really not even the point, I'm hoping you'll get what my hypothetical was about as I thought you were quit a switched-on poster.

And you just exageratted that so much by saying you think that I would be bothered about him making eye contact with other girls even. HA! Like I've said, I'm not bothered by him checking out girls, I'm not bothered by him watching porn. There's just something about him going to a place where he's paying for a naked woman that feels like it's chipping at the quality of our relationship.
Your telling me that men are very visual is only adding to my point. Chicks on the street are dressed, chicks in porn are on a screen, bare naked breasts in his face is only gonna be making him think of sexual things especially with how "visual" men are. It's the seediness of it that makes me feel like it's not much of a quality relationship. Doesn't anyone else out there think it's pathetic when men have to pay a woman, that usually wouldn't look twice at them on the street, to grind on them a bit, leave them horny and desperate and take their money while they're at it? I know that strip joints but same deal really, with the pathetic side of things.

After writing this out, I'm starting to think that, if it's his desire to go, then we're already in that place of not as quality of a relationship as I would like, so meh, may as well just tell him to go to those things and forget about it.

lol i'm sure your relationship will be a long lasting one. you guys seem very compatible

[Kiedis24]

the same people here saying "girl is being insecure" are the same ones that would say "dump her .. shes a sloot etc" if it was the other way around

just sayin fellas.. lets keep it square

I've been thinking that too, that if the genders were switched there would be tonnes of "sloots gonna sloot" ha

[Kiedis24]

You're taking the classic "tell him it's okay to do but then be angry at him about it" approach favored by women across the globe. Very grown-up of you. You should throw in the silent treatment too for good measure

No I appreciate and need communication, it's the only way for resolve. I don't know what else to do man. It's either I'm "suffocating" him, as BuildKing puts it, or I'm saying for him to go yet not feeling cool with it inside and thinking less of him. What else can you do if you're just not that kind of person who's ok with their partner exposing themselves to those situations, that like someone else said, is what single people do? Tell me that then

[zobara]

WOW.



Clear who wears the pants in that relationship.

If you actually MARRIED someone who controls you that strongly, I would argue that you're not suited to give any relationship advice.

yeah..actually wow..
in our case...the feeling and the reaction would have been mutual... i would have filled her holes with wet cement...

sorry not everybody on this sphere lives the same pov about life, relationship and other stuff with you...

and your credibility or suitability about advices can be discussed if your wife's, and mother to two kids, request to watch strippers is easily accepted.

also you are aware that if OP was male...the most advice he would have got be "next"...

[Kiedis24]

lol i'm sure your relationship will be a long lasting one. you guys seem very compatible

It's sad we get on in many other ways, enjoy each others company but I do have doubts about the longevity, but that doesn't mean that I do not *want* it to last, as I do, he does too. These are just things you have to work out on the way, not everyone is 100% compatible right

[jimbong]

No I appreciate and need communication, it's the only way for resolve. I don't know what else to do man. It's either I'm "suffocating" him or I'm saying for him to go yet not feeling cool with it inside and thinking less of him. What else can you do if you're just not that kind of person who's ok with their partner exposing themselves to those situations, that like someone else said, is what single people do? Tell me that then

Giving it the MISC advice treatment - You need to lay out your boundaries and if he crosses those boundaries without regard then you cut him loose and go about finding someone who doesn't cross your boundaries.

Everyone is going to have their specific boundaries, those boundaries vary - There is no general right and wrong of what those boundaries are. Go about finding someone who doesn't cross the boundaries you set forth and be happy.

As for communication and relationships, it is essential. But unless you are very serious then there isn't much you can do other than lay our your concerns and then see how the person reacts.

[JustMoved24]

It's sad we get on in many other ways, enjoy each others company but I do have doubts about the longevity, but that doesn't mean that I do not *want* it to last, as I do, he does too. These are just things you have to work out on the way, not everyone is 100% compatible right

yea. some people say opposites attract. but i think it depends on exactly what "the opoosites" are. differnt music, thats ok, different tv shows thats ok. someone who wants to be a male stripper and go look at tits all night seems pretty opposite of what you are all about. but then again, people can change, or make compromises in a relationship, so who knows.

[Mumra]

Relax OP. it's just something to do and there's no way he's hooking up worth any of these girls. Don't try to control him (because that's how he sees it) just let it go. He'll come home horny as hell and you'll benefit from it.

Save the battles for the serious stuff.

[gixxer0.6g]

Man that is so off-putting!~ Let him go get turned on by someone else and if I'm lucky I'll get some when he gets home~, gross. If I was that desperate I would way rather just sort myself out. We had sex this afternoon twice, it started simply from me hugging him hello when he got home and he got hard from a hug hehe and we got down right then, how pathetic do you have to be to feel lucky that your partner is turned on from someone else to have sex with you? Is that normal for you? Lol

I know someone people on here are agreeing that they wouldn't feel comfortable with it either, but it seems like most people only view it as insecurity on my part and don't quite understand the way it seems to chip at the quality of the relationship, but anyway, I've sent him a msg (as it's late now) and told him he should just go to those things and just let me know, because if he's already wanting to and doesn't see a problem with it, then it's already at that level anyway what's the point in telling him he shouldn't go whilst in a relationship then I dunno :s

Insecurity detected.

and

[joefreas]

Your BF likes tits and to fuk you while you dress up. Thats awesome. Put on the costume and give him some fuk.

[Kiedis24]

Insecurity detected.

and

Says the guy that still took the time to write that and look up a specific gif for me :P

[gixxer0.6g]

Says the guy that still took the time to write that and look up a specific gif for me :P

[JustMoved24]

hahaha

[tetraktys13]

its not. Tell him you dont like it

[Kiedis24]

Redeemed yourself haha <3

[Kiedis24]

its not. Tell him you dont like it

I have. He just got out of bed and came to me a moment ago and said he's not gonna go to those things if I'm not ok with it. Now it's just on me feeling like I'm stopping him from doing the "fun/seedy" things he wants to do with his friends so now I've just gotta know that I'm not allowing him I guess to do what he wants, but man I'm getting over thinking about it now. I don't know what the healthy balance is that keeps both people happy. Guess I should just leave it there then I don't know eh

[gixxer0.6g]

Redeemed yourself haha <3