HELP!! I don't know how to shake hands anymore!(white)

[desslok]

When i was a kid, people just shook hands. Nice and easy. But as time went on and people became too "cool" to shake hands, i am finding it more and more difficult to keep track of the current "handshake". A couple weeks ago I slid a guy some skin...right when our hands met it felt awkward, i could tell to both of us. When out eyes met it was almost a brief homoerotic moment, that a few years ago would have been totally fine. The other day a gave some guy a fist bump and "blew it up" at the end. The guy gave me the "what year is it" look. So how am i supposed to shake hands now?

[StrikingMoose]

WTF is sliding a guy some skin? All kinds of horrible pictures in my mind.

I always go for a classic handshake. Sometimes if people offer me a fist to bump it I'll grab their fist and handshake their fist.
The new thing is people putting their arms/hand at 45 degree angles from their body and just grabbing my hand, no shake, and pulling me in to rub our chests together. I usually reply with a bert stare.
If someone offers me a fist bump and the off chance I do fist bump, then they pull it back and blow it up I usually just give them a bert stare.

Srsly wtf is wrong with people what happened to handshaking.

[cls91]

When your hands connect, slowly curl your middle finger inwards and scratch/tickle their palm. As you do this, look them dead center in the eyes and give a subtle wink. Or keep a completely straight face.

Either way you'll make quite the first impression, and for the rest of the night the guy won't know if you're homosexual, or just awkwardly entertaining.

[necon76]

Hand contact is so 2013. It's all about wiener bumps now OP.

[desslok]

The new thing is people putting their arms/hand at 45 degree angles from their body and just grabbing my hand, no shake, and pulling me in to rub our chests together. I usually reply with a bert stare.

Yeah that's happened to me a couple times too. The first time was by this hardcore gangster friend of mine. I was taken offgaurd and thought maybe he just got out of the pen and that was how they did it in there. But then another old friend i hadn't seen for a while did that to me at the gym a couple days ago. Feels wrong...and i wasn't sure to complete the hug with my other arm or what. Not knowing what to do made it all the more awkward.

[AdamWW]

I just gently lay an open palm on their cheek until it feels right

[StrikingMoose]

Yeah that's happened to me a couple times too. The first time was by this hardcore gangster friend of mine. I was taken offgaurd and thought maybe he just got out of the pen and that was how they did it in there. But then another old friend i hadn't seen for a while did that to me at the gym a couple days ago. Feels wrong...and i wasn't sure to complete the hug with my other arm or what. Not knowing what to do made it all the more awkward.

fricking lol tried to rep but on R/C wasted it on too many dumb miscers

[desslok]

I just gently lay an open palm on their cheek until it feels right

True, a hand changes everything

[StrikingMoose]

OMG lol just finished a procedure here at work, afterwards the Dr is saying thanks to all of us that were helping, says thanks to everyone but me then walks up to me does that stupid phuking diagonal arm open hand half hug chest bump bull fuking chit seriously I started LOLing immediately after he did it cause I thought of this I don't think he noticed though hahaha.

[psychodiver9]

Just kiss cheeks. Way less awkward

[hawaiistack]

Skin it! "Stand by me " style

[cls91]

"The Most Epic and Elaborate Handshake You'll Ever See"

http://sneakhype.com/videos/2014/10/...-ever-see.html