Holy Fuk. Little brother moves into college tomorrow. He's living with a neckbeard

[Knights12]

Misc, my little brother just forwarded me the first email he had from his roommate for his first semester at college. I can't believe what I just read, I thought these people were just internet jokes. The fact that this exists in real life...



First message from OP's brother:

"Hey I'm (OP's brother) and I was assigned to be your roommate this year. I just want to know what you plan on bringing to college like a T.V. or microwave for our room so I don't pack the same thing. Email me back or text me at __________ so I know what to bring, Thanks.


How his roommate responds, keep in mind this is the first contact they've ever had.

"Citizen* ,

I am planing on bringing a microwave and have put in to rent a refrigerator for the room. I also have some old carpet that we could use for a rug. The rest of what I am bringing consists of things for personal use (books, storage containers, etc., etc.) What all are you planning to bring?

I suppose we should exchange some personal information as well. Therefore I have formulated 10 questions intended to capture the essence of any given individual (proceeding from innocuous to rather personal) and provided my own answers to them (see below). If some of them seem excessively personal, it stems only from a desire to facilitate our getting to know one another and shatter the initial reluctance most people have to revealing something of themselves. After all, if we are going to live together we had better get to know each other fairly quickly.

What is your....

1. favorite type of music?
2. age?
3. former high school?
4. current major?
5. favorite pastime?
6. religious affiliation?
7. sexuality?
8. gender?
9. political affiliation?
10. additional commentary?

My answers
1. Classical: Beethoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, etc.
2. 19
3.
4. Poltical science.
5. Reading
6. I am a dialectical materialist and therefore an atheist.
7. Bisexual.
8. I do not identify with any gender whatsoever.
9. I am a Marxist, more specially a Luxemburgist and a Bolshevik-Leninist (Trotskyist).
10. N.A.



Sincerely,
(New Roommate)

*For lack of a better form of address and in reference to the tradition of the French Revolution."


It'll be interesting seeing what stories he brings back of this guy.

inb4, tl;dr

[ThePaisan]

IN. your brother is about to get jeffrey dohmered.. good luck opies brother

[brownbeard]

Wot the fuark

Edit: inb4 neckbeardz hate him.
Inb4 Vanilla wow players hate him.
Inb4 Microwaves hate him.
Inb4 Nah ty bro im sweet
Inb4 no thnx jeff
Inb4 serial killer jokes

-bulldog

[lced]

RIP OPs brother

[iREciProcate]

I would forward that kid's email to the housing administrator for the college and request a housing switch.

[hotdawg100]

prolly just getting trolled? i hope at least

[gwem32170191]

Tell your brother to shanghai that fukker if he starts getting too supreme.

[AllDemFeels]

lmfao i'm dialectical materialist bisexual bolshevik-leninist and I like to read


nice to meet you

[Magnus987]

This is why you should strive to go to a good college instead of a California State School.

[Pancakes1]

I would forward that kid's email to the housing administrator for the college and request a housing switch.

Agree with this. Most Neckbeards are arrogant pricks, this one seems like he's gunning for the title.

[PowerPal]

Lmao at bisexual

stay safe

[Koval661]

Was disgusted when I saw this neckbeard's major is the same as mine.

Hope your brother stays safe OP.

[HouseBro]

oh my fukcing gawd.

[Unik]

in b4
"Listen up, Roman empire leaders has homosexual relationships back then. You can't judge what you haven't tried, now relax and spread your legs OPs brother. This will stay between both of us."

[nonplusultra]

Found him Opie

[bzman]

lol your brother gonna get murdered bro

[Seatard]

LOL That's a pretty good troll.

I bet IRL the roommate is just a normal dude and fun will be had.

I hope so.

[Marronis]

Time to find another roomie. Gotta have a chill roomie

Wait he's bisexual!!!? Hell naww, he better pepper his angus

[FSEC]

lol sounds like miscer from r/p

no thx jeff

[oreogasm]

If your bro ever has girls in his room, this neckbeard is sure to creep them out of ever going there again.

[GolfPants]

8. I do not identify with any gender whatsoever.


u w0t m8

[octopus7]

Jesus Christ I hope this is a prank that some reddit ******* is doing as a joke.

Tell your little brother to expect a smelly fukking roommate, who showers once a month at most, that will be staying up til 3, 4am playing computer games every night. Also expect a dirty room, with bits and pieces of food on the floor

[BrawnGP]

That's a lot of cringe packed into very little space. At least he'll be able to pick someone else new next year...............

[JDizleSwoleizle]

He should put in for a roommate change pronto.

I tried to contact my roomie for freshman year before we move in, he never replied back. Moved in like a week after school started and never left the dorm, just played Madden on PS1 or watched wrestling the entire year, srs.

[giannski]

hahahahaha oh lawd tell him good luck

[InfoBrah]

Get him out of there!!!

[FallOutBrah]

its probably just a good troll job. even if someone were like this, they would try to hide it, not parade it like this.

[winstonsmith1]

Assuming it's not a troll, you should really have your brother call whoever has the power to assign him a different roommate before it's too late.

[TradeKing]

Bisexual communist who doesn't identify as being a male OR a female (wtf?lolz). This will end well.

[Manc33]

I am a dialectical materialist...

Actually, we are all human beings.