Found out my gf's been raped….

[Igmann]

Ah, roll bread.

Nevertheless, the posts are so sad to read. No wonder most rapes go unreported. Very sad indeed, but what I expected to read. What a shame for girls who have been raped knowing this is why they can't speak up.

No one is denying that rapes take place. The only points made ITT is that a good number of women lie about being raped.

[Boffothe]

I wouldn't ever mention it if something happened to me. Not to anyone. The stigma is likely as bad as the act itself.

Okay, but it'd be your choice not to tell anyone. Someone who is falsely accused of rape will suffer a similar stigma and have zero choice in the matter. That's why it's so important to ascertain the truth, or at least ask questions.

[tential]

No, none of it sounds normal to me at all. Thats why I'm trying to figure all of this out. She said she told her one best girl friend about it right after it happened, but then she's told no one since until she told me last night. I have no phucking idea.

The frat she went to is known as a bunch of *******s, queers, and potheads. So it's really surprising that this would happen at that particular frat. She only knew the guy for a couple of weeks before this happened from what she told me and she was going over there just to "hang out" with him because she thought he was a friend. She said she had no intention of every going on dates with him or anything, but who knows what's true or not.

Meh, no real point in figuring it out. Chicks tell themselves things to make themselves feel better and then after that, that story becomes truth in their head. Maybe she did give him a blowjob, then felt so slooty afterwards about it she told herself that she was raped and believes it now. Maybe she was raped. Maybe this shiit NEVER even happened.

We'll never know dude, women are phucking crazy.

And every bro says that about every frat they don't hang out at lol. And even frats they do hang out at. Just how it all goes so we can make ourselves seem cooler than everyone else.

[Gillette8911]

Seems like every girl has been "raped" but it was just them being stupid and a sloot and afterwards regret it, otherwise they'd be tramatized and would be crazy and you wouldn't want to talk to them

[JUSA]

Seems like every girl has been "raped" but it was just them being stupid and a sloot and afterwards regret it, otherwise they'd be tramatized and would be crazy and you wouldn't want to talk to them

The problem is that legitimate rape is vile and horrendous. Were I a chick, I would hate girls who cry wolf over rape with a passion. They cheapen legit rape and make it harder for those who are to come out about it. Not saying anything about the girl in the OP's story (who knows), but those girls who do falsely cry rape should get very stiff sentences, jail time and open themselves up to getting massively sued in a civil court in a perfect world. Too bad in our world, it's generally a slap on the wrist, the guy (who has been locked up for 30 days) is let out with no apology and nothing much else happens.

[MeFromG]

Thanks brahs…really putting things into perspective. I wasn't thinking about how frequent stories like this are cause I've never had to deal with them with any of my past girlfriends.

Next time we talk I'm gonna ask her on the whole "why didn't you bite his d" crap and see what she says. I still don't know what I'm gonna do when I see him though.

Going to the gym now to get some frustration out.

So she never calls you out with anything, is anxious to do anything, but she will suddenly, magically change into a Berserker and going to bite his penis off, because he rapes her / forces her to oral sex ?! Are you serious...

I was sexually assaulted so many times in life as a child and young teenager, physically and verbally, by adult men (one attacked me when I was just 9 years old) and guys about my age at that time - luckely I was informed by my parents from an early age on of these possibilities, and so instantly I always fought back with all I had during every assault, plus thank God I had a bit of luck too in those situations - that some can't even imagine what shiit is going on in life and how many girls, boys and women and men too suffer from that nightmare, from those attacks during and afterwards. You are living and want to continue to live in your bubble of your personal neverland.

And 2% liars don't make the rest of rape victims liars too and those aussaults less real and serious. Get some grip!

One user mentioned the rape of a girl he knows and "her leading on the guy who raped her..." - I'd be curious to know, how did she exactly do this?

[Bassackwards]

Found out last night that around the time me and my gf started dating 6 months ago, a guy pinned her down and forced her to give him head. He was trying to pull her clothes off and she managed to run away. She never told anyone until she now told me. Turns out I know who the phucker is too…he's in one of the other fraternities on campus. Wasn't a drunken thing or anything cause they were sober, middle of the day at his frat house. first thing that comes to my head is that I'm gonna confront him on it and probably beat his ass the next time I see him, which i see him a lot around campus. Wut do? Is it worth beating his ass?

pinned her down and forced her to give head? so what-she just laid their and was throat fukced? you sure she didnt fukc the guy and lied about getting raped? reminds me of my ex. while i was on deployment, she emailed me saying she was raped. i found out the truth 2 years later that she lied about the rape; that she cheated on me. sloots gonna sloot.

[happywithit]

No one is denying that rapes take place. The only points made ITT is that a good number of women lie about being raped.

I think a lot of guys on this thread are saying she should have fought back.

Easily said I'm sure, but under circumstances where often the man is stronger and heavier than the girl, add to that natural reflexes fight or flight, then the flight reflex is to natural be non responsive in that situation, ie, lie down not move as if dead, I would imagine.

You can't assume that because a girl doesn't fight back then she wanted it and it was therefore not rape.

[FanOfWok]

Mate, she might be telling the truth, but this still doesn't mean that you should openly confront the dude and smash his skull in. Just comfort her and that's it. There is no need to beat up a dude and face sever consequences.

[Lb54TG]

Was she raped or was she ''raped''? Any more witnesses?

My thoughts when I came in

[Highwind7]

You can't assume that because a girl doesn't fight back then she wanted it and it was therefore not rape.

Fair enough, but why didn't she report him? I know most people that get raped (men included) don't report either because of feeling ashamed or because it's a relative or a close person? But why no report him? Either she's ashamed of what happened or she's making stories up. I can't see any other reason why.

And how can OP resolve his thoughts about it: a) side with her and go after or make judgements about a guy he knows nothing about (except from her story); or b) not believe her, which she can basically see as siding with the guy (whether it happened or not)?

Believing her or not, OP has a problem: she's either a fukked up person for making it up or she's a delicate girl who might cause him some emotional problems down the line (if he decides to stick around for that long)

[MeFromG]

I think a lot of guys on this thread are saying she should have fought back.

Easily said I'm sure, but under circumstances where often the man is stronger and heavier than the girl, add to that natural reflexes fight or flight, then the flight reflex is to natural be non responsive in that situation, ie, lie down not move as if dead, I would imagine.

You can't assume that because a girl doesn't fight back then she wanted it and it was therefore not rape.

In order to fight back you need also to be conditioned mentally and physically for a long time. And even when fighting back it's no guarantee that you don't get even more hurt in the process or maybe killed.

Instead of some people saying and expecting that those, who did nothing wrong, should have done this and that in a situation that is evil and abnormal and very, very scary - one should rather say, lets make sure, offenders / criminals are caught and put away for a long time, so they can't hurt anybody anymore.

[GiveMeTheD]

no contact

[LobsterRageFist]

Why was she at a frat house in the middle of the day?

[ccvbnm31]

Forces to give head does not equal rape.

If you stick your penis inside a girls mouth who genuinely doesn't want to suck it... She'll bite your dick hard enough to break it forever.

She wasn't raped. She sucked some guys dick and he was being rough, which she liked because everyone likes that. She told you because NOW she values the relationship and doesn't want secrets. She told you, but lied while doing so to make her the victim. Nobody gonna be mad with the victim...


My girlfriend of 2 years also has a rape story. She told me it before we started going out. Some guy raped her at a party when she was drunk.

Found out over a year later that she wasn't raped. After I had drilled the whole equal rights, equal fights/anti feminist thing into her she eventually brought it up again and apologized for lying about it. The trouble is, she ACTUALLY BELIEVED she was raped even though she knows logically that she wasn't.

Women are dangerous. Don't get caught up in avenging girls who claim to have been raped in the past. Only if it happens presently should you be sure enough to do something about it.

Repped

[jasonpourne]

Found out last night that around the time me and my gf started dating 6 months ago, a guy pinned her down and forced her to give him head. He was trying to pull her clothes off and she managed to run away. She never told anyone until she now told me. Turns out I know who the phucker is too…he's in one of the other fraternities on campus. Wasn't a drunken thing or anything cause they were sober, middle of the day at his frat house. first thing that comes to my head is that I'm gonna confront him on it and probably beat his ass the next time I see him, which i see him a lot around campus. Wut do? Is it worth beating his ass?

alright, so, this is just my opinion, and take it with a grain of salt because i've never been raped.

but i don't buy a lot of "rape" stories.

too many girls i've met have been "raped".

this is legitimately the story one of my exes told me about how she lost her virginity: she was laying in bed with this guy and she was sucking his dick, he said he wanted to have sex and she said no. he was like okay well can i just rub my dick on your vagina (lol)? she's like okay but put a condom on (wut?), then her story is that he rubbed his dick around for a min and then "put it in, thrusted and came".

so im supposed to believe that a virgin pussy that's never had anything in it just took a dick in one thrust, AND that the guy had such bad premature ejaculation that one thrust with a condom was enough for him to ejaculate.

after we broke up i talked to the guy. HIS story was that she wanted it, they had sex for a few minutes, and then when her parents found out, she lied and said she didn't want it.








so lets think about this for a second, and use completely logical thought.

this guy has her pinned down.. even with a strong guy, he's probably going to have to use his entire body to ACTUALLY stop a girl from moving at all. but he somehow also get's his crotch to her face level, and shoves his dick in her mouth?

so his dick is so strong that it can pry open her jaw?

i'm sorry but if i was a girl and i was legit getting raped, i would be clawing, scratching, hitting, and screaming at the top of my lungs. and there sure as hell woulnd't be a dick in my mouth.

inb4 femisits hate me

[janky]

*yaaawn*

all girls have been "raped".

I don't even know what to make of it anymore.
I can tell you this; it's a massive fukking insult and a spit-in-the-face to REAL victims of actual, violent sexual assaults.

Can you imagine if you had been molested by a creepy uncle, or caught outside of work and forced to the ground at gunpoint and been beaten/raped...
then some idiot bimbo gets sloshed at a party and goes "WOOOOOOOOOOO I WANNA SUCK 10 COCKS RIGHT NOW!" and the next day her friends (or bf) are like "Wow, you're a whore" and she goes "nuh-uh... it was... uh.. um... RAAAAPE!"

or two friends like the same guy, and one spends the night w him. He tries to fuk and shes like "no we shouldnt" then he goes "come on" and she's like "OK".
Friend gets pissed and cuts her off, and she goes "but but ... he raped me!"

or some psycho makes a guy's life a living hell after having consensual sex. He calls her on her bullsht and they have a huge, dramatic fight. He pulls a low blow, and out of spite, she goes "YEA WELL ILL TELL EVERYONE YOU RAPED ME"



It's pathetic that so many faulty ass claims make it hard to take the word seriously anymore.

[SymphonyXXX]

Let's just stick to basics, good Gentlemen.

Rape is forced ------ where "-------" is an act confirming that one person is left powerless.

Now, I am a male with two working testes and a working penis that, quite glady, engorges with blood at will.

If my dick is in someone else's mouth, with no deliberate tools, who is in control of the situation? Me or the person whose mouth is on my dick? I may be an alien with this admission, however, and women MAY indeed decide to berate me, but let's not be fools, either. Morality takes a seat when real particulars are questioned.

No police report? Was she feeling extra generous? No contact with school officials? Was she feeling extra generous? Circumstantial evidence and reasonable doubt. Do ANY of you mother****ers have it?

[jasonpourne]

In order to fight back you need also to be conditioned mentally and physically for a long time. And even when fighting back it's no guarantee that you don't get even more hurt in the process or maybe killed.

Instead of some people saying and expecting that those, who did nothing wrong, should have done this and that in a situation that is evil and abnormal and very, very scary - one should rather say, lets make sure, offenders / criminals are caught and put away for a long time, so they can't hurt anybody anymore.

I knew this would come up, the classic "i was too paralyzed to do anything about it" argument.

yes, it has some scientific merit. under certain circumstances, such as when the rapist has a deadly weapon or there seems to be no chance of getting away.

i'm sorry, but i still dont buy that this girl was at a frat house alone in a room with this guy, had no intentions of hooking up, and then he "pinned her down" and forced his dick in her mouth.

if she screamed for help, this college frat boy is not going to ****ing murder her.

i'm sure there was some forcefulness involved though, i don't doubt that's a possibility. what i see as a more likely scenario, is that she felt a little uncomfortable with what was happening, and so she resisted a little, but once he put some more force into it, she gave in. she didn't want to scream for help, because she wasn't actually being raped. she probably felt uncomfortable and just wanted out of the situation, wanted to get it over with, didn't want to make a big scene and have guys come running to help her and be known as the girl who cried rape/got raped.

so she let it happen

[janky]

MeFromG:
I'll make it as simple as it can possibly get.

Rape, by legal definition, involves forced sexual contact without the consent of another party.

If you consent, it is not rape, no matter how high/drunk/etc you are.

If you are afraid that a guy is being too aggressive, you should try to leave the situation immediately. If he prevents it and forces himself upon you without consent, that *IS* rape.
If he persists, and you just go "ok fine", you have consented. That is *NOT* rape. You gave the OK.

Any decisions you make under the influence of drugs and alcohol are still decisions you made to consent, or not consent.
In the event that you truly believe you are unable to make a rational judgment call due to your impairment, you should err on the side of leaving the situation to avoid future regrets.

REGRET =/= RAPE. It means you made a bad decision in giving your consent.
It does NOT give you the right to label the other party a rapist.

Please stop the convoluted bullsht definitions of the word, as you are doing a massive disservice to (and frankly, insulting the hell out of) people who have actually been violently raped.

[happywithit]

Fair enough, but why didn't she report him? I know most people that get raped (men included) don't report either because of feeling ashamed or because it's a relative or a close person? But why no report him? Either she's ashamed of what happened or she's making stories up. I can't see any other reason why.

And how can OP resolve his thoughts about it: a) side with her and go after or make judgements about a guy he knows nothing about (except from her story); or b) not believe her, which she can basically see as siding with the guy (whether it happened or not)?

Believing her or not, OP has a problem: she's either a fukked up person for making it up or she's a delicate girl who might cause him some emotional problems down the line (if he decides to stick around for that long)

As Boffothe mentioned earlier, the incident has to be questioned to determine whether an unlawful act was committed.

Imagine you were raped by a man. Would you go to the police? If not, why not?

Embarrassing?
Humiliating going over it, once..... twice...... a third time.

They would question WHY didn't you fight back? Well? Why didn't you?
It would probably be down to shock, but then if in shock, are you really remembering the correct details?

I doubt there would be any point. After the humiliation of going over in detail, then allergations that you were lying, the stress, the stigma, the likelihood that nothing will happen to him....... is it worth it? NO!

I very much doubt that humiliation is worth the accusation.

I know a lot about sexual assault and reporting to police and what happens in interviews because my best friend works in this particular department. Most are blown out because of shock (if they were in shock how can they provide enough evidence to prove it was that particular person), then when they come forward years later having stayed quiet for years (which is very often), due to whatever reason, nothing can be done. Some people forget, and it is the natural reaction to 'forget it' then something will happen to trigger the buried memory and they come forward. It is not as straight forward as you are seeing it, and your questioning is extremely naive.

As for a guy dating a girl who did get raped, I think most bury something like that deep away and continue with their day to day living, especially if they haven't spoken about it since it happened.

Yes some will suffer PTSD or have bad depression, but my goodness, it's not like no man gets these conditions. We are only human, not perfect!

I think as I said in my first post in this thread, a bf of a girl who had been raped would be doing enough just by listening to her and cuddling her when she cries.

Why do you think he needs to take sides? Or chose to dump her because another man felt it was his right to unclothe her and stick his penis in her against her will?

That was his problem. Not hers.

[janky]

If I were pinned down by a couple buff gay dudes and I was like "no im not gay, seriously stop... this is not ok"
but they buttfukked me anyway while I tried to get away...
I would go to the police. Embarrassing or not, that's a serious crime, and if I don't say anything or press charges, what's to say they won't continue doing it to other people?
I couldn't in all good conscience, allow people like that to keep doing what they're doing because they think they'll "never get caught".

IMO, it's selfish as fuk to let your own personal embarrassment get in the way of justice. That means it's more important to you to "save face" than prevent other people from enduring the same sht you had to endure.



NOW...
let me ask you a question:

If I was getting sloshed at a gay bar... and met a cool ass, funny dude that I was crackin jokes and partying with all night... then he leans in for a kiss and I'm like "nah...im straight... sorry"... then he grabs my package and I'm like "ok im scared just do whatever you want..." and I willingly go through the motions, let him fuk me, etc. etc. etc. -- just to get it over with because I was afraid of conflict...

Was I raped?
Or did I consent?

[SymphonyXXX]

As Boffothe mentioned earlier, the incident has to be questioned to determine whether an unlawful act was committed.

Imagine you were raped by a man. Would you go to the police? If not, why not?

Embarrassing?
Humiliating going over it, once..... twice...... a third time.

They would question WHY didn't you fight back? Well? Why didn't you?
It would probably be down to shock, but then if in shock, are you really remembering the correct details?

I doubt there would be any point. After the humiliation of going over in detail, then allergations that you were lying, the stress, the stigma, the likelihood that nothing will happen to him....... is it worth it? NO!

I very much doubt that humiliation is worth the accusation.

I know a lot about sexual assault and reporting to police and what happens in interviews because my best friend works in this particular department. Most are blown out because of shock (if they were in shock how can they provide enough evidence to prove it was that particular person), then when they come forward years later having stayed quiet for years (which is very often), due to whatever reason, nothing can be done. Some people forget, and it is the natural reaction to 'forget it' then something will happen to trigger the buried memory and they come forward. It is not as straight forward as you are seeing it, and your questioning is extremely naive.

As for a guy dating a girl who did get raped, I think most bury something like that deep away and continue with their day to day living, especially if they haven't spoken about it since it happened.

Yes some will suffer PTSD or have bad depression, but my goodness, it's not like no man gets these conditions. We are only human, not perfect!

I think as I said in my first post in this thread, a bf of a girl who had been raped would be doing enough just by listening to her and cuddling her when she cries.

Why do you think he needs to take sides? Or chose to dump her because another man felt it was his right to unclothe her and stick his penis in her against her will?

That was his problem. Not hers.

Emotions,

emotions everywhere.

Let me get you a box of puffs so that you just quit highlighting women's plight with everything reasonable. They dabble, live and **** in the 'emotions.' Woe is them, responsibility is an alien concept, culpability does not apply to me, I am a flower, forever highlighting the struggles that weak ****ing men and women share. Woe is you, Rapunzel, WOE IS YOU.

[PointBreak85]

Rape him srs


Nothing more alpha than raping thr man who raped your girl.

[JUSA]

Easily said I'm sure, but under circumstances where often the man is stronger and heavier than the girl, add to that natural reflexes fight or flight, then the flight reflex is to natural be non responsive in that situation, ie, lie down not move as if dead, I would imagine.

If a 250-lb hillbilly were trying to rape me, I guess I'd just give up and ask him to insert his dick in my mouth, him being so big and all.

Although, you're right - while someone not fighting back is very odd, it is within the realm of possibility that not every girl (or person) would fight back in that situation. Most would. Moreover, nobody has yet explained to me how a rapist forcibly makes a girl give him a BJ. I'm not being a dick, I'm genuinely curious how that even works.

[DouLou]

All debate aside we only know two things for sure -

1. You'll never know the true story
2. It's not worth beating him up and getting into trouble

The only choice you can make now is to believe her and be there if she ever wants to talk about it.

[retardedtroll]

I missed reading Janky's posts

[happywithit]

If I were pinned down by a couple buff gay dudes and I was like "no im not gay, seriously stop... this is not ok"
but they buttfukked me anyway while I tried to get away...
I would go to the police. Embarrassing or not, that's a serious crime, and if I don't say anything or press charges, what's to say they won't continue doing it to other people?
I couldn't in all good conscience, allow people like that to keep doing what they're doing because they think they'll "never get caught".

IMO, it's selfish as fuk to let your own personal embarrassment get in the way of justice. That means it's more important to you to "save face" than prevent other people from enduring the same sht you had to endure.



NOW...
let me ask you a question:

If I was getting sloshed at a gay bar... and met a cool ass, funny dude that I was crackin jokes and partying with all night... then he leans in for a kiss and I'm like "nah...im straight... sorry"... then he grabs my package and I'm like "ok im scared just do whatever you want..." and I willingly go through the motions, let him fuk me, etc. etc. etc. -- just to get it over with because I was afraid of conflict...

Was I raped?
Or did I consent?

Legal definition in UK
A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a) he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B) with his penis,
(b) B does not consent to the penetration, and
(c) A does not reasonably believe that B consents.


(2) Whether a belief is reasonable is to be determined having regard to all the circumstances, including any steps A has taken to ascertain whether B consents.
It would be rape here, since you expressed fear and agreed under fear.

If a 250-lb hillbilly were trying to rape me, I guess I'd just give up and ask him to insert his dick in my mouth, him being so big and all.

Although, you're right - while someone not fighting back is very odd, it is within the realm of possibility that not every girl (or person) would fight back in that situation. Most would. Moreover, nobody has yet explained to me how a rapist forcibly makes a girl give him a BJ. I'm not being a dick, I'm genuinely curious how that even works.

It is not odd, it is more the usual scenario during the event.

How one forces a BJ I don't know. I would guess he would pull at her hair, and force her head in the position, possibly hold her nose to open her mouth for breath and force himself in her mouth, who knows?

[Bassackwards]

It is not odd, it is more the usual scenario during the event.

How one forces a BJ I don't know. I would guess he would pull at her hair, and force her head in the position, possibly hold her nose to open her mouth for breath and force himself in her mouth, who knows?

thanks for the weirdest

[usersignup2]

Mate, she might be telling the truth, but this still doesn't mean that you should openly confront the dude and smash his skull in. Just comfort her and that's it. There is no need to beat up a dude and face sever consequences.

this might sound like a beta thing or even a wk attitude but probably is the best course of action at least for now.

why?


if there's anything a man needs to know about women, it's this:

when women tell men their problems, they DO NOT want a solution. 99/100 this is the case. so assuming she actually was assaulted (forced oral is not rape) then she just needed someone to confide in, ESPECIALLY if she is the type that is vulnerable and quiet. think about it, do you think she would want to broadcast this to entire campus? because that's what will happen if you confront the dude