Girl ignored me now gets rejected by douche and wants back in.

[DavidWebbFk]

So continuation from my last post, I'll keep it short.

Basically we were really close friends, was super close to asking her out. All of a sudden tall handsome douchebag decides he's interested in her, chick starts ignoring me and talking to him. I know all along he's using her as a backup, guess what happens, Ser Douchebag stops talking to her because sum hot chick wants in with him. She's depressed as fk and gets all sympathetic with me and starts talking to me as was before.

Thing is, I need to muster up all the balls I have and tell her I'm not her second option or backup plan, but this girl is so innocent, like she's never had a bf or anything mane. Goddamn, and now shes so sad about this douche ignoring her, and that she feels she can find comfort in me, how am I supposed to say no to her, like I seriously care for this girl alot! Strong feels for her.

Still, I'm not about to sit here as Ser SecondOption and let her get in, fk that, I need some motivation to ignore her. But dayum, I can imagine our life together and all that ****, she's a good person, but I'm no second option for her.

Help out misc.

[IzVenomous]

You already said it. Don't be a second option cut that sloot off op go nc

[Nicklol]

u better not do it bro

[bikes4u]

OP---you said your friends with her. So whats the problem? I don't get it.

Why do you think your second option if you were never a option to start with?

If you want to get out of the friendzone you're going to have to step it up and ask her out or go out with her and do something fun to show her you can have a good time together.

[DavidWebbFk]

OP---you said your friends with her. So whats the problem? I don't get it.

Why do you think your second option if you were never a option to start with?

If you want to get out of the friendzone you're going to have to step it up and ask her out or go out with her and do something fun to show her you can have a good time together.

Thing is, if she had to choose between moi and ser douchebag, she'd choose the latter. I don't appreciate that tbh.

[KingdomKong]

Thing is, if she had to choose between moi and ser douchebag, she'd choose the latter. I don't appreciate that tbh.

How do you know that? Did she say that?

[Hmzone]

Thing is, if she had to choose between moi and ser douchebag, she'd choose the latter. I don't appreciate that tbh.

Typical beta who's never picked up the courage to tell the girl he likes about his feelings, and calls alpha men who do "douchebags".

You say you were friends? If so then she doesnt owe you anything. You didnt make it clear you were interested and never even asked her for a date. She sees you as a close friend, probably as a brother. A guy comes in and she becomes interested in him, he leaves her and then she gets depressed and wants her close friend to comfort her. Youre not her "second" option, you never were an option as you have a very different relationship to the one she hoped to have with the other dude. She started ignoring you because most guys get annoyed when their gfs have guy friends, and thats what youve been so far. So take a chance and open up about your feelings rather than blame her when shes not even at fault

[GreenIvy6]

Typical beta who's never picked up the courage to tell the girl he likes about his feelings, and calls alpha men who do "douchebags".

You say you were friends? If so then she doesnt owe you anything. You didnt make it clear you were interested and never even asked her for a date. She sees you as a close friend, probably as a brother. A guy comes in and she becomes interested in him, he leaves her and then she gets depressed and wants her close friend to comfort her. Youre not her "second" option, you never were an option as you have a very different relationship to the one she hoped to have with the other dude. She started ignoring you because most guys get annoyed when their gfs have guy friends, and thats what youve been so far. So take a chance and open up about your feelings rather than blame her when shes not even at fault

All of this.

So this is an ego thing, and not a don't be treated like an emotional tampon thing?

Yup.

[Nattydread]

OP, he did nothing wrong here, nor did she. You never even asked her out, or told her how you felt about her, so as far as she knew, you were both just friends. If however, she was showing interest after you told her how you felt and she wanted to do things with you, but then this guy entered the picture and then she done a 180, then she would be a sloot.

You were too pussy to ask her out, so you have nobody to blame but yourself!

[newmemberforlif]

Op - maybe you should meet some new girls.

[JUSA]

Basically we were really close friends, was super close to asking her out.

You put yourself in the friend zone. It takes all of 5 seconds to ask someone out. Pining for someone and waiting for the "right moment" simply doesn't work with girls. Let them know immediately where your interests lie. This girl didn't do anything wrong.

[UglyFatGirl]

I think you're overreacting. You two are just friends. You've never even asked her out on a date.

[FU3L]

Girl likes guy that isn't me = he's a douchebag.

wow
such miscer
much jealousy
wow

This is your fault for not asking her out in the first place. If you had some balls you could probably be dating her right now. She's probably lost interest and is looking to you to be her 'bff' or shoulder to cry on about other guys she wants to fuk.

[cheerupemokid]

So continuation from my last post, I'll keep it short.

Basically we were really close friends, was super close to asking her out. All of a sudden tall handsome douchebag decides he's interested in her, chick starts ignoring me and talking to him. I know all along he's using her as a backup, guess what happens, Ser Douchebag stops talking to her because sum hot chick wants in with him. She's depressed as fk and gets all sympathetic with me and starts talking to me as was before.

Thing is, I need to muster up all the balls I have and tell her I'm not her second option or backup plan, but this girl is so innocent, like she's never had a bf or anything mane. Goddamn, and now shes so sad about this douche ignoring her, and that she feels she can find comfort in me, how am I supposed to say no to her, like I seriously care for this girl alot! Strong feels for her.

Still, I'm not about to sit here as Ser SecondOption and let her get in, fk that, I need some motivation to ignore her. But dayum, I can imagine our life together and all that ****, she's a good person, but I'm no second option for her.

Help out misc.

I'm not sure she actually wants you romantically. From your description it sounds more like she wants you to comfort her while she gets over this guy and waits for someone else to come along.

You're not on the same page and if you want to salvage what little pride you have left, I'd suggest cutting off contact with her and pursuing other girls.

[Dave1958]

OP---you said your friends with her. So whats the problem? I don't get it.

Why do you think your second option if you were never a option to start with?

If you want to get out of the friendzone you're going to have to step it up and ask her out or go out with her and do something fun to show her you can have a good time together.

If you never asked her out you were never an option. I eat at the same restaurant for lunch. There is this 20 something guy that's been hanging around for the last week . I told him today, just ask her out. He went out the door as though he didn't hear me. I asked the workers which one is he sparking. She doesn't know if she wants to go out. I told her she worse that the guy. Decide, then go. You might have fun. She doesn't know if she wants a relationship. I told her your just going out, you don't have to relationship. People take time have fun enjoy life

[Mr Beer]

Just ask her out you phucking limp dick *******.

Your jealousy about 'douchebag' is just ridiculous, he asked her, you didn't, you wannabe cockblocker - what, she's supposed to stay virgin for the next 5 years in case you manage to gather up your balls and pop the question? No schit she started 'ignoring you', she was busy with a guy, you're going to tell me you'd be spending as much time with this girl if you were getting any?

Everything you are saying is a rationalisation because you are too frightened to do what you need to do. Oh and spend time hitting on other girls, you need to expand your horizons.

[Firefightn24]

OP---you said your friends with her. So whats the problem? I don't get it.

This. Until you make a move, it's up in the air as far as the two of you. You said yourself you were close to asking her out, well, you should have.

[TheJizzler]

I'd understand you being pissy if you made an earnest move but she ditched you for an obnoxious, Jersey-Shore-looking douchecanoe... but you just seem jealous that this guy made a move before you did

[acrawlingchaos]

I'd understand you being pissy if you made an earnest move but she ditched you for an obnoxious, Jersey-Shore-looking douchecanoe... but you just seem jealous that this guy made a move before you did

If there was no romantic interest, why did she just ignore the OP afterwards? Especially since they were great friends.

.... unless it would have been awkward for obvious reasons.



OP, no need to reject her if she isn't pushing for anything romantic. Let her know upfront that you are not interested if anything happens. If you want to spare her feelings, just tell her you don't think you two are right.

[tential]

If there was no romantic interest, why did she just ignore the OP afterwards?

.... unless it would have been awkward for obvious reasons, (like she knew).



OP, no need to reject her if she isn't pushing for anything romantic. Let her know upfront that you are not interested if anything happens. If you want to spare here feelings, just tell her you don't think you two are right.

Lots of chicks in new relatoinships just ignore EVERYONE and only focus their infatuation on a new dude. Seen it happen a lot.

[acrawlingchaos]

Lots of chicks in new relatoinships just ignore EVERYONE and only focus their infatuation on a new dude. Seen it happen a lot.

And, from what I gather, when the relationship ended, she came back to look for OP for emotional support. Women are not stupid, if OP has been lusting over her... she is well aware.

I'm not saying she is wrong, she isn't. I do, however see his point. I would have no interest in a woman if she knew I was interested, but decided to seek other men. Nor would I be interested in lending a shoulder for her to cry on after she was spurned.

[Boffothe]

This is some real junior highschool level patheticness OP

[Konrai]

So continuation from my last post, I'll keep it short.

Basically we were really close friends, was super close to asking her out. All of a sudden tall handsome douchebag decides he's interested in her, chick starts ignoring me and talking to him. I know all along he's using her as a backup, guess what happens, Ser Douchebag stops talking to her because sum hot chick wants in with him. She's depressed as fk and gets all sympathetic with me and starts talking to me as was before.

Thing is, I need to muster up all the balls I have and tell her I'm not her second option or backup plan, but this girl is so innocent, like she's never had a bf or anything mane. Goddamn, and now shes so sad about this douche ignoring her, and that she feels she can find comfort in me, how am I supposed to say no to her, like I seriously care for this girl alot! Strong feels for her.

Still, I'm not about to sit here as Ser SecondOption and let her get in, fk that, I need some motivation to ignore her. But dayum, I can imagine our life together and all that ****, she's a good person, but I'm no second option for her.

Help out misc.

Start by realizing neither of you were in a relationship and that she owes you nothing. Also again realizing you never told her how you felt, so again, she owes you nothing.

Like most are saying, you never put your feelings out there or made it clear, someone else came along and did that. The other guy did nothing wrong and neither did she, it was your own shyness or indecisiveness that got you in this predicament in the first place. But right now the ball is in your court, and probably your only chance as of now to get close with this girl.


Don't mess it up again.

[myrenga]

OP---you said your friends with her. So whats the problem? I don't get it.

Why do you think your second option if you were never a option to start with?

If you want to get out of the friendzone you're going to have to step it up and ask her out or go out with her and do something fun to show her you can have a good time together.

This. From what I read, it sounds like you still like her... but don't want to be the back up guy. You're not, she was your friend first. You didn't make a move, another guy did. She's choosing you as her friend now, and you know what if you ask her out... who know's what might happen.

Ask.. if it doesn't work, move on.

[BigTimePlayer]

Seems your only option now is to just ask her out. If she says no & only views you as a friend, than just cut contact with her since you obviously don't want to just be friends with her.

[DavidWebbFk]

Damn, the replies here have seriously opened my mind. I want to ask her out, but if she says no then our friendship is pretty much gone, worse than that I can't go NC because she's a friend of the family's and is over at least once a week. No way I can go NC like that, how can I ask her out knowing that rejection would result in pretty much an epicly awkward situation?

[Konrai]

Damn, the replies here have seriously opened my mind. I want to ask her out, but if she says no then our friendship is pretty much gone, worse than that I can't go NC because she's a friend of the family's and is over at least once a week. No way I can go NC like that, how can I ask her out knowing that rejection would result in pretty much an epicly awkward situation?

If you get rejected your get rejected. If she starts dating another guy it's not as though she will be spending as much time with you anyway, so you may as well take the chance.

[DavidWebbFk]

And, from what I gather, when the relationship ended, she came back to look for OP for emotional support. Women are not stupid, if OP has been lusting over her... she is well aware.

I'm not saying she is wrong, she isn't. I do, however see his point. I would have no interest in a woman if she knew I was interested, but decided to seek other men. Nor would I be interested in lending a shoulder for her to cry on after she was spurned.

Yeah, you see, I was under the impression, still am really, that she knew all along that I was interested in her, there were signs brah.

[tential]

And, from what I gather, when the relationship ended, she came back to look for OP for emotional support. Women are not stupid, if OP has been lusting over her... she is well aware.

I'm not saying she is wrong, she isn't. I do, however see his point. I would have no interest in a woman if she knew I was interested, but decided to seek other men. Nor would I be interested in lending a shoulder for her to cry on after she was spurned.

I guess she was supposed to just wait for him to ask her out and deny every male advance until he did right?

That's not how it works...

You snooze you lose bro, if OP had asked her out and she said no, went out with another guy, then came back to him SURE he should be super mad. That said, if I was OP I still wouldn't waste my time with her either way. I'd learn from this and next time ask a chick out if I want to go out with them.

[TheIronAsylum]

youre welcome op