not sure how to react to her texting late

[Darius169]

no need to read every thing



Ive been searching the forums here and a lot of people seem to give good advice (though there's a few that....well are d***s lol) thought I'd make an account to try for myself

My problem is the girl who I'm currently talking to texts ....late as fuuuu. Sometimes ranging from a few minutes to literally a few hours. We've been through a lot these past few years. We've went out on dates, had sex etc yatata she claims she loves me and really want to be with me.

The thing is I tell her after my first break up (of 2 years) I don't want to rush back into a relationship till I learn the girl or else things could turn out bad again. One thing she does is text late. Now I know people say "she has a life" or "she has things to do" but honestly how hard is it to just reply when your phone goes off? Together she's always laying on me saying she loves me

When we're together she replies fast as ffff to others but whenever she's away from me she doesn't reply. she always says she's busy with her dog or chores, but she's always on xbox or ********. Or on her twitch account talking to other people. So usually I just f it I'll do this stupid game of ttext late and not long she's blowing my phone up with "what's wrong are you ignoring me"

I've told her multiple times and she still does it. Reason why I care so much is because the moment I stop caring about her talking to me is the moment I start losing feelings for her. So I guess worrying is my way of saying I care but you're making it hard for me to stay

[Juiss]

She just doesn't want you to become too needy, people who have the time to always reply to texts as soon as they receive them usually don't have much going on and their life. Texting too much migh become routine and make you needy.
Or you know, she's just genuinely busy when she's not with you.

[Darius169]

She just doesn't want you to become too needy, people who have the time to always reply to texts as soon as they receive them usually don't have much going on and their life. Texting too much migh become routine and make you needy.
Or you know, she's just genuinely busy when she's not with you.

I'd have to disagree with the "no life part" considering I'm a full time college student, work (recently bought my first car), work out, party etc. Whenever I reply it's because I see it rude to not. It'd like s regular conversation but through text instead of face to face you wouldn't want someone to ignore you during a face to face conversation? But idk I guess I'll just stop stressing. I've told her she hhasn't tried to change

[Mattschill]

In4 answer. I have the same problem

[Juiss]

But idk I guess I'll just stop stressing.

Yes, that's exactly what you should do.

I, like a lot of people, don't really enjoy having text conversations, I use my phone to make plans with people and that's it. Maybe she just doesn't want to talk over text because she fears she won't have anything to talk about when you're face to face.

[ProdigalTimmeh]

TIL texting "a few minutes" after is late.

Either she actually is doing something (and when she's with you she's not really doing something), she doesn't hear/notice her phone going off for whatever reason, or she's playing a game with you. Girls don't text for a while because they don't want to come off as desperate or needy.

Don't worry about it.

[SilyCheeseSteak]

This may sound crazy and you probably wont do it but don't text her all the time. With my past girlfriend I told her I wasn't interested in texting her because it took away from when we were together. I valued my time with her as much as I valued my time away from her. Now, this girl was pretty down to earth so she understood where I'm coming from but with other girls the texting game was a normal thing. And you know what? It turns you into a whimp. At least it does for me.

You'll be sitting there waiting for a text that really means nothing in the grand scheme of things. It all just seems so silly to me. I don't really text anymore, though. I've made the efforts to remove distractions from the present moment. What happens is that you're so focused on your phone that your mind is miles away worrying about something else and what's in front of you is irrelevant. And now someone who isn't even in front of you is somehow causing you emotional duress.

Simply put, what I'm getting at is to get out of that "we must text each other 24/7" mentality and it will greatly affect your relationship as a whole. I'm not saying never text her but I'm saying to take a break from always being in touch with her and enjoy that void because if not you'll end up getting hurt. It's not natural to be that involved with someone and what happens is you end up trading your identity for someone and then when it's over you're left there wondering where the last year or so of your life went.

Just discuss it with her and be open about things that bother you (in a respectful manner) because maybe establishing that you won't play the validation game (aka texting game) anymore will give you far more power in the relationship and show her that she can't have you wrapped around your finger at all hours of the day.

[Jimeee]

This may sound crazy and you probably wont do it but don't text her all the time. With my past girlfriend I told her I wasn't interested in texting her because it took away from when we were together. I valued my time with her as much as I valued my time away from her. Now, this girl was pretty down to earth so she understood where I'm coming from but with other girls the texting game was a normal thing. And you know what? It turns you into a whimp. At least it does for me.

You'll be sitting there waiting for a text that really means nothing in the grand scheme of things. It all just seems so silly to me. I don't really text anymore, though. I've made the efforts to remove distractions from the present moment. What happens is that you're so focused on your phone that your mind is miles away worrying about something else and what's in front of you is irrelevant. And now someone who isn't even in front of you is somehow causing you emotional duress.

Simply put, what I'm getting at is to get out of that "we must text each other 24/7" mentality and it will greatly affect your relationship as a whole. I'm not saying never text her but I'm saying to take a break from always being in touch with her and enjoy that void because if not you'll end up getting hurt. It's not natural to be that involved with someone and what happens is you end up trading your identity for someone and then when it's over you're left there wondering where the last year or so of your life went.

Just discuss it with her and be open about things that bother you (in a respectful manner) because maybe establishing that you won't play the validation game (aka texting game) anymore will give you far more power in the relationship and show her that she can't have you wrapped around your finger at all hours of the day.

^^^^^^^^^^ This

And just for my 2 cents, I've had girls text me really late at night that I thought were into me, and it ended up meaning absolutely nothing at all

[Malfurion]

no need to read every thing



Ive been searching the forums here and a lot of people seem to give good advice (though there's a few that....well are d***s lol) thought I'd make an account to try for myself

My problem is the girl who I'm currently talking to texts ....late as fuuuu. Sometimes ranging from a few minutes to literally a few hours. We've been through a lot these past few years. We've went out on dates, had sex etc yatata she claims she loves me and really want to be with me.

The thing is I tell her after my first break up (of 2 years) I don't want to rush back into a relationship till I learn the girl or else things could turn out bad again. One thing she does is text late. Now I know people say "she has a life" or "she has things to do" but honestly how hard is it to just reply when your phone goes off? Together she's always laying on me saying she loves me

When we're together she replies fast as ffff to others but whenever she's away from me she doesn't reply. she always says she's busy with her dog or chores, but she's always on xbox or ********. Or on her twitch account talking to other people. So usually I just f it I'll do this stupid game of ttext late and not long she's blowing my phone up with "what's wrong are you ignoring me"

I've told her multiple times and she still does it. Reason why I care so much is because the moment I stop caring about her talking to me is the moment I start losing feelings for her. So I guess worrying is my way of saying I care but you're making it hard for me to stay

She's not responding to your texts instantly because she's busy with stuff, stop acting like a pathetic sloot playing mind games

and lol @ making a huge deal over how much she texts you, strong 13 year old girl mentality

[Darius169]

This may sound crazy and you probably wont do it but don't text her all the time. With my past girlfriend I told her I wasn't interested in texting her because it took away from when we were together. I valued my time with her as much as I valued my time away from her. Now, this girl was pretty down to earth so she understood where I'm coming from but with other girls the texting game was a normal thing. And you know what? It turns you into a whimp. At least it does for me.

You'll be sitting there waiting for a text that really means nothing in the grand scheme of things. It all just seems so silly to me. I don't really text anymore, though. I've made the efforts to remove distractions from the present moment. What happens is that you're so focused on your phone that your mind is miles away worrying about something else and what's in front of you is irrelevant. And now someone who isn't even in front of you is somehow causing you emotional duress.

Simply put, what I'm getting at is to get out of that "we must text each other 24/7" mentality and it will greatly affect your relationship as a whole. I'm not saying never text her but I'm saying to take a break from always being in touch with her and enjoy that void because if not you'll end up getting hurt. It's not natural to be that involved with someone and what happens is you end up trading your identity for someone and then when it's over you're left there wondering where the last year or so of your life went.

Just discuss it with her and be open about things that bother you (in a respectful manner) because maybe establishing that you won't play the validation game (aka texting game) anymore will give you far more power in the relationship and show her that she can't have you wrapped around your finger at all hours of the day.

Thanks mate I'll try to stop worrying about texting. I suppose reason I was worried because the lack of texting seems like a lack of interest towards me. If that makes sense. And mostly I just don't want the late texting to be because she's messing around with someone else 😔

[Darius169]

She's not responding to your texts instantly because she's busy with stuff, stop acting like a pathetic sloot playing mind games

and lol @ making a huge deal over how much she texts you, strong 13 year old girl mentality

Been a member for a few hours and you're the first ******* to come at me with disrespect for the no reason. Now i feel welcomed! you get a high five! �✋✋

[Malfurion]

Been a member for a few hours and you're the first ******* to come at me with disrespect for the no reason. Now i feel welcomed! you get a high five! �✋✋

It is for a reason, that reason is you're acting like a 13 year old girl crying about your GF not texting you back instantly 24/7

You sound extremely needy and insecure and this is reflected in the fact that you can't handle someone telling you how it is

[Savanovic]

girls sometimes take up to 3 hours to respond to me during the day... idgaf tbh since we all have chit going on during the day.
stop being overly attached.

[SilyCheeseSteak]

OP, Malfurion does make a point. While my response was nice to you, there's going to be a polarity in responses in any given thread. Although what he said comes off as "disrespectful" I, in a way, called you a whimp. Take his criticism and understand why he said it... don't be so defensive. What he's saying is actually helpful imo.

[Patrick55615]

I agree I have a life and a job and I still reply within minutes of getting the texts because I think it's rude not to but I think maybe she forgets like most girls do iv noticed that

[Darius169]

You sound extremely needy and insecure and this is reflected in the fact that you can't handle someone telling you how it is

Or I'm that type of guy that dislikes people making unnecessary comments When's there's always a better way to put things. It's not even me being insecure I never liked people talking **** growing up its who I Is main

[Malfurion]

Or I'm that type of guy that dislikes people making unnecessary comments When's there's always a better way to put things. It's not even me being insecure I never liked people talking **** growing up its who I Is main

Respect works both ways and I can't respect a guy who acts like a little girl

[Darius169]

Respect works both ways and I can't respect a guy who acts like a little girl

Eh not that it matters in thus world you have people who show respect to those you deserve and those you demand respect when they don't deserve it. My motto you show me respect I show you respect. Fact that this is the Internet idk why I'm still going on with it. But hey thanks for the advice little harsh for my "insecure" self but true

[Patrick55615]

Stop being a over emotional puss bag

[Darius169]

Also forgot to mention the reason I feel that way about her texting late is because she cheated on her bf with me and I cheated on my ex gf with her nearly two years ago. (Go figure)

[Savanovic]

Also forgot to mention the reason I feel that way about her texting late is because she cheated on her bf with me and I cheated on my ex gf with her nearly two years ago. (Go figure)

yeahhh you are both scumbags lol

[Darius169]

yeahhh you are both scumbags lol

I know someone please lock me up and throw away the key i don't deserve to live! Lord why! Why lord!

[RainingBlood]

Don't react. If she doesn't text you in a time that you deem appropriate, don't reply back. She doesn't deserve a response unless she texts you in a timely manner.

[Darius169]

Don't react. If she doesn't text you in a time that you deem appropriate, don't reply back. She doesn't deserve a response unless she texts you in a timely manner.

Finally someone who actually agrees with me. Thanks mate. I've taken advice from others and yours. I'll try to stop stressing and even text her late here and there.

[Juiss]

Also forgot to mention the reason I feel that way about her texting late is because she cheated on her bf with me and I cheated on my ex gf with her nearly two years ago. (Go figure)

Forget her asap.
If she meets someone who's better than you she won't hesitate to cheat given the chance.

Sloots gonna sloot

[Darius169]

Forget her asap.
If she meets someone who's better than you she won't hesitate to cheat given the chance.

Sloots gonna sloot

Honestly that's what I think sometimes but idk if I'm setting myself up but if she shows that she trust me even though I too cheated I figured I'd give her a try.

[Mattschill]

yeahhh you are both scumbags lol

This

[Juiss]

Honestly that's what I think sometimes but idk if I'm setting myself up but if she shows that she trust me even though I too cheated I figured I'd give her a try.

No I'm serious op. She will cheat on you with someone she sees as "better" given the chance, you can't change unfaithful women.

Pls stay safe op