My bf doesn't want to be intimate with me, is it because of my body?

[cindery]

I have gained some weight (okay, a huge 50 pounds) recently in a short time, and I know that I'm FAT now. I feel really bad about my body, and then I met a guy who seemed to be everything a girl could every dream about (I was 7 pounds heavier than now when we met, so he wanted to start dating me while I was like this)

So, we've been going out a few months, and he is really a wonderful guy (he is nice, kind, very handsome and treats me like a princess). We met in a college party, he approached me and we didn't really know each other before that. He seemed to be very attracted to me at first, but now I just have a feeling that he doesn't find my body attractive at all (I hate the way I look now) because he doesn't usually want to have sex with me. He just wants to sleep next to me, so we are spooning and cuddling. He also kisses me a lot, touches my body and shows physical attention in public, likes to shower naked etc. But now, whenever I try to make a first move towards having sex, he claims that he is tired, or too drunk if he/we have been out, or stressed etc. We have been dating for about 4 months now, and only have had sex 4 times (and we see many times a week).

I have asked him that is it something about me, or if he doesn't find me attractive, but he keeps saying that is not about me at all. He says I'm beautiful and that he likes me as I am. However, I wouldn't be so sure (I think my body looks disgusting). He hasn't said anything negative about my body, and I have told him that I want to lose weight but he didn't comment it at all. He trains regularly 4 times a week at gym, and is very fit. He also didn't want me to go to the gym with him when I asked if he could help me to get started there.

Other things: his 6 years relationship ended a month ago before we met (his ex gf left him). He seems to be pretty hung up on his ex and they had a rough break up. During some point of our dating he was drinking so heavily and doing some drugs that I dumped him, but then he begged me to take him back and promised to change his habits, and he has done better now.

At the moment, I eat healthy and am quite active (doing cardio several times a week), and am very serious about losing all the pounds I gained, but haven't managed to lose that much weight yet (have been on a diet for 2 months now).

He is 23 and I'm almost 20. Thanks for your help

[cindery]

Pictures! They didn't download first

[L_Coops]

-Would you date a girl who has that kind of body?
-Could you have sex or would this body be a turn off?
-Could you attracted to a girl with this weight if you liked her otherwise?

-No
-No
-No

The good news is he would not be going out with you in the first place if he didn't find you attractive in some way or another.

The bad news is you have a lot of weight to lose.

Work hard. It is doable.

[otakutrevan]

Try eating right and working out. I'm sure you like his fit body (nohomo...?) so why not try to meet him halfway. contrary to the political correct fat acceptance crowd attraction is much based in the physical.

[LifterSteve]

Please delete this thread unless your ego is ready to be crushed ( no offence)

[turbodiesel_kai]

ok, so you realize that ther'es no way your bf will ever be able to tell you you're overweight without you going getting extremely mad at him right?

So yes, that's probably what he's thinking.

We're men, we need soemthing sexy to look at. it's genetic, no matter how much the world tries to tell us we shoudln't care, we do. it's like lions are always going to chase antelope. even if they wanted to try eating grass, they woudln't be able to help chasing antelope for dinner.

[LB63]

I couldn't do it personally. and im not trying to be mean. can't help who im attracted to

[cindery]

Okay, thanks for your answers so far. I just want to clear out that I don't think my body is hot or anything, I know I need to lose weight and I would look better when more fit and normalweight (I have been like that until recently due to many reasons). And obviously my bf wouldn't say "hey you are fat, lose weight!!" but I guess he could try to support me. For example, I dont eat McDonalds or anything like that, and still he asks if I want to have some (he does eat there occasionally).

When I have my clothes on he can grab my lovehandles or something like that, but the sex thing, that's the problem. We've had sex 4 times in 4 months, and we see at least 4 times in a week and usually sleep together then. Like I said, I've asked him if he doesn't find my body attractive, and he said it's not about that at all. But I don't believe him. I also told him that I don't like my body and am insecure about it, and he said I have no reason to think like that (which was sweet, but I couldn't really believe that either...)

[otakutrevan]

Okay, thanks for your answers so far. I just want to clear out that I don't think my body is hot or anything, I know I need to lose weight and I would look better when more fit and normalweight (I have been like that until recently due to many reasons). And obviously my bf wouldn't say "hey you are fat, lose weight!!" but I guess he could try to support me. For example, I dont eat McDonalds or anything like that, and still he asks if I want to have some (he does eat there occasionally).

When I have my clothes on he can grab my lovehandles or something like that, but the sex thing, that's the problem. We've had sex 4 times in 4 months, and we see at least 4 times in a week and usually sleep together then. Like I said, I've asked him if he doesn't find my body attractive, and he said it's not about that at all. But I don't believe him. I also told him that I don't like my body and am insecure about it, and he said I have no reason to think like that (which was sweet, but I couldn't really believe that either...)

1.He has low test
2.He isnt that interested
3.He could be gay.

srs

[Violettt]

You need to be with someone who makes you feel loved, accepted, sexy, and wanted. If you feel like your bf isn't feeling that way towards you (it seems that way) than maybe he isn't the one for you. There is someone for everyone.

[OsPerez1996]

Honestly, not to sound cliche but if you want to lose weight you have to do it for yourself.
If you truly want to be healthier and lose weight, go to the nutrition section and read the "stickies" there to get a basic knowledge of nutrition.

Either way, Good luck.

[LifterSteve]

1.He has low test
2.He isnt that interested
3.He could be gay.

srs

This **** is serious, knew a dude that was dating a girl only to cover up the fact that he was gay

[Violettt]

Honestly, not to sound cliche but if you want to lose weight you have to do it for yourself.
If you truly want to be healthier and lose weight, go to the nutrition section and read the "stickies" there to get a basic knowledge of nutrition.

Either way, Good luck.

Exactly. Don't get fit for some guy! Do it because you wanna be that hot bish you are inside!

[turbodiesel_kai]

Okay, thanks for your answers so far. I just want to clear out that I don't think my body is hot or anything, I know I need to lose weight and I would look better when more fit and normalweight (I have been like that until recently due to many reasons). And obviously my bf wouldn't say "hey you are fat, lose weight!!" but I guess he could try to support me. For example, I dont eat McDonalds or anything like that, and still he asks if I want to have some (he does eat there occasionally).

When I have my clothes on he can grab my lovehandles or something like that, but the sex thing, that's the problem. We've had sex 4 times in 4 months, and we see at least 4 times in a week and usually sleep together then. Like I said, I've asked him if he doesn't find my body attractive, and he said it's not about that at all. But I don't believe him. I also told him that I don't like my body and am insecure about it, and he said I have no reason to think like that (which was sweet, but I couldn't really believe that either...)

wait.. what do you want him to support you in doing? are you working out now and eating right? or do you want him to support you in not doing anything and commenting on how you feel about yourself?

of course he lied, he can't agree with your when you say you dont like your body. what would he say 'yeah you're right?"

I'm not trying to be mean, just trying to figure out what you actually want.

[xvicknumber7x]

I personally wouldn't be able to do it either, but the good news is you are working on it and you will get there if it is what you want for yourself. You are in the right place and right state of mind to reach heights you think are unreachable. You got this.

[Violator009]

id have to be high or semi high to hit that, or youd have to be at least cute..

[porcupinetree]

I eat healthy and am quite active but haven't managed to lose weight yet.

I find that hard to believe.
You aren't just chubby. You are approaching obesity. Yes, I am mean, also honest. You want real change? Be real with yourself.

[cindery]

wait.. what do you want him to support you in doing? are you working out now and eating right? or do you want him to support you in not doing anything and commenting on how you feel about yourself?

of course he lied, he can't agree with your when you say you dont like your body. what would he say 'yeah you're right?"

I'm not trying to be mean, just trying to figure out what you actually want.

I meant that it is not very supportive to ask if I want him to get me food from McDonalds when I'm dieting. He knows that I do exercise and try to eat right. He goes to the gym 4 times in a week, and I have asked if I could join him sometimes but he says it's best for him to workout by himself. And he says that I'm beautiful and he likes me a lot, I just wonder if he never wants to have sex with me or not. I feel really rejected, though he is very kind and thoughtful otherwise, and wants to make me feel good.

[AirJordanB]

You're all toasting in a roll bread

[cindery]

I find that hard to believe.
You aren't just chubby. You are approaching obesity. Yes, I am mean, also honest. You want real change? Be real with yourself.

Of course I know what the BMI says, and yes I am obese. I was just diagnosed with an underactive thyroid which seems to have something to do with the fact that I haven't lost weight a lot (I have lost about 7 pounds in 2 months). I eat around 1500 kcal per a day - mostly vegetables, fish, chicken; really rarely fast food or processed food, and work out 3-4 times in a week.

[LifterSteve]

**** what they are saying, embrace your heavy structure and begin powerlifting

[cindery]

1.He has low test
2.He isnt that interested
3.He could be gay.

srs

1. That could be the case. Once he said that it is hard for him to be with an other girl (he had broken up with his ex gf a month before we met). Sometimes he is really into me but not as much as I would wish. For me once in a month is not enough
2. Could be, too. Although he has been more active in this relationship than I have. He wants to do things with me, and is always asking to meet up.
3. I doubt that, he seems to be very attracted to girls and is not gayish at all.

[HJB12]

no thanks Jeff

[DidNotReadL0L]

no way you're only 189 pounds. you look pretty obese. seriously you got alot of fat to lose. Start exercising you are in the right place be a girl your BF can be proud of. No guy wants a fat girl it's embarassing and not pleasant to look at.

[jamesbwbevis]

:::::::::::::::::

[BeerCalories]

You need to be with someone who makes you feel loved, accepted, sexy, and wanted. If you feel like your bf isn't feeling that way towards you (it seems that way) than maybe he isn't the one for you. There is someone for everyone.

bs advice. She's fat. Good luck finding "good quality guys" with that body. The good news is most people have been in bad situation in their life and have turned it around. You can too. Good luck on your weight loss goals. You will feel really good about yourself when it comes off.

[xvicknumber7x]

You may also just be a rebound since he had broken up with his girl a month ago and is afraid of being alone.. Just a thought.

[TheEndGame]

LOL.Time to cut like 50 pounds.

[L_Coops]

Of course I know what the BMI says, and yes I am obese. I was just diagnosed with an underactive thyroid which seems to have something to do with the fact that I haven't lost weight a lot (I have lost about 7 pounds in 2 months). I eat around 1500 kcal per a day - mostly vegetables, fish, chicken; really rarely fast food or processed food, and work out 3-4 times in a week.

Get a prescription of Thyroxine or Cytomel then.

[Details8]

is this a joke, the pics made me lol.

either way, i lost sexual interest in my last GF just due to repetition... she was a good looking girl and we had tons of sex in the beginning but it got old. i find thrill in the chase, and thrill with variety so there you go