Why did you fail what you initially set out to do?

[Monyistbitu]

What's up fellas?

I'm not your typical super successful personality, but I do have my share of successes both academically and athletically. I've got a few tips here that I would like to share with you all.

Have you ever wondered why you find yourself incredibly motivated to do a particular thing, only to find that when it gets hard, you fail to follow through with your plan? I'm sure you have. This isn't limited to body-building, I'm talking about anything that requires you to delay your current impulse/desire for a farther, more worth-while goal. This may be related to academics (wanting a good grade, but also wanting to go out clubbing), athleticism (wanting a better body, getting better at your sport, but also wanting to eat pizza and watch TV). It applies to your job, your marriage, your business, the whole lot. Almost anything that you want to succeed at requires sacrifice at the present moment, and belief in the future.

So why do you typically fail even though you thought you wouldn't? It boils down to one of the following:
1- Lack of big-picture thinking, lack of vision. To elaborate, I'm talking about those times when you feel: hey, are those 6-packs really worth all the trouble? Am I really going to torture myself like this because I want to look good on the beach for a couple days of the year? Will I really spend hours of my time studying just for an A+ when I can easily do with a B-?
2- The law of diminishing returns. This is the state of mind when you want to acheive something, but you feel that your current efforts aren't getting you there. "I'm trying to cut so hard, yet the scale isn't moving, I might as well binge and save my efforts." "I'm working my ass off at work, but my boss isn't giving me any recognition, so I'll just quit." Your effort don't make you any closer, or in other words, they have diminishing returns or profit.

That's it. I've pondered over this topic for ages, and those are the main two reasons I've arrived at as to why you fail at something. To keep it much simpler, it boils down to 1) you didn't want it bad enough, or 2) you didn't believe you could get there with what you're currently doing.

So how is this issue fixed? Begin to cultivate exactly the opposite of what you have now.
1- Give yourself a very strong and profound reason as to why you want to achieve something. It's not just about the six packs, it's about body-building being my hobby, something that I care and am very passionate about. It's not about getting an A+, it's about teaching myself discipline and improving my work ethic so I can succeed academically in the future, not just with this exam.
2- Make sure your effort has proper returns. This requires you to think which is something many hard-working people lack, and thus fail. It's not just about working hard, it's about working smart. Is what I'm doing correct? Have I seen results? Am I getting better with my efforts? Is it bringing me closer?

It doesn't matter whether you feel positive or negative, because these things change like day and night. What matters is: do I want it, and is what I'm doing right now allowing me to achieve it? If those two things are in check in your mind, trust me, you'll never fall down or fail again (well, rarely at least), regardless of how you feel or how your emotions dictate.

Remember, practice makes perfect, and this process (will-power, whatever you call it) becomes easier with time. You could make the most elaborate plan for success, but without the character, thinking, and mindfulness you bring to the issue, it will almost always remain a dream.

"“Life consists of what a man is thinking about all day.”
—RALPH WALDO EMERSON"

[Malvenx]

I agree that it matters how much you want to achieve the goal you set out to accomplish. For me, this goal is also mixed in with casual intake of alcohol which I know is affecting my recovery times. This is the single most detrimental aspect of my training.

[revjs]

Great observations! This is consistent with what I've heard Tony Robbins say. "When your Shoulds become Musts, everything changes." de Tocqueville also made these observations about cost and return, everyone must consider the cost involved and make a decision, but most of us create greater obstacles in our mind than actually exist, "You think that's air you're breathing?"

[counter15]

I agree with the many things that you have outlined in your post. However, I strongly believe that the key to become successful at any goal that you would like to achieve is based entirely on how dedicated and committed you are. You can be very big in the sense of thinking, visualizing what you want to achieve, but if you are not willing to do, what it takes in order to get all your wishful thinking is in vain.

[skinters]

Yeah good stuff.

Visualize your self there, and let nothing get in your way.

[lukejade]

the only obstacle is my girl who loves snack very much. damn it.

[maggiesfarm]

Your second point sounds more like delayed gratification, or at least the opportunity for it. Diminishing returns work more like this:

If I gave you a million dollars, you'd be very happy. If afterwards I gave you a second million, you'd be happier, but not twice as happy. A third million would add even less to your overall happiness than the second did, and so on. At that point it would take other factors to increase your happiness noticeably, like booze or jet skis.

But overall I agree -- doing hard work takes both discipline and faith that you're doing the right thing. And it can be scary to remind yourself of your goals and the reasons for them when you've gotten discouraged. Not working smart is a quick road to getting discouraged in the first place.

[SazabiMaster]

Hey Monyistbitu, good topic!

I think being too comfortable can be a real motivation killer, and here's a few scenarios of what can sometimes happen.

1. You decide that you want to get in shape, and that you want to be "that guy". So you get a gym membership and and even hire a personal trainer. But it turns out being a gym regular isn't exactly what you imagined it to be, you wake up unmotivated, it noticeably affects your lifestyle (in a negative manner), and quite frankly your just plain bored. This happens, and honestly there's nothing wrong with that. Especially if you give it up in pursuit of activities more suited for your lifestyle, life is yours to live my friends!

2. It's like when you bust ass at the gym for a few months thinking it will get you the ladies, then when you finally meet a cool chick it turns out she likes to bake and could care less if you have a six pack. Well if your motivating factor was to get a girl, Game over man. Well at least until you break up and find yourself in the gym again wondering what happened. That's why you keep hearing people say "you got to do it for yourself!" But then you ask yourself, "why should I?" And that brings me to my next example.

3. Let's say you want to get ripped, but there is no real reason behind it other than, "it would be cool." And to add to that, it seems everything else in life is also going quite smoothly. You have a good job, friends etc.. Sure its not perfect, but its "good enough." So it turns out you have no real driving force, no opposition and no one to really challenge you. This state of existence tends to create an emotional safety net which results in the individual being okay with being average, thwarting any attempt at truly succeeding. This phase peaks as things begin to challenge you, and suddenly you decide to take a step back into your safety net, and slowly fade into a former version of yourself. And unfortunately this is a cycle that most people seem to be stuck in.

That's why when you see people at the bottom, they're usually so hungry to succeed they will do whatever it takes, because they don't have anything to save them if they fail. And if you can find a way to harness even an ounce of that will power then your already well on your way to accomplishing your goals.

I think a few things that could help motivate someone are, siblings/a community of others with the same interests, (friendly competition can be a great motivational tool). Having hero's and people you look up to can be inspiring as well, trying to be just like the person you idolize. Hell, even just listening to motivational tapes over and over again can slowly change your perception and help you think like a champion. And last but not least just being stubborn with consistency always helps. Allowing yourself to disregard your emotional state in exchange for consistent production will have you looking back at your progress and using it as a key to unlock your future.

I'm half asleep and don't know if my ramblings make any sense, but enjoy!

[JCarp8421]

Because