gf feels i need to move out from parents place, I'm saving for a mortgage

[denbran1014]

she told me I need to "grow up"

Lost at this. Tell her to go fuk herself.

If being financially responsible and saving up for a place of your own is something you need to "grow up" about, she isn't the one for you brah.

srs

[pojo18]

I may have been thinking with the wrong head

you must be OP. I'm in a similar situation to you right now actually. I've been with the same girl for 3 years (since late 16) . her mom forced her to move out. she is paying rent now in an apartment. she wants me to join her in the black hole of renting . I had to tell her no. Its sad her parents booted her, but I cant risk my financial future FOR ANYONE at this point in my life, my parents wont kick me out realistically for 3 more years at the minimum. Probably 5 years, and I intend to take advantage of every moment at home untill age 23-25. I hope to save 100+k cash and go from there.

bottom line. Im in a similar position with a girl i've been with 3 times as long and wouldnt do it.


the decisions you make now will define your future later.

[KaptainKandy]

Didn't read your novel but you can pretty much disregard anything that broad says/has said on the subject. Save your money for a down payment on a home. Pissing it away on rent and utilities so she can get plucked for the few months you're dating ain't worth it.

[HMFIC_BROWSIN]

lmfao, did you really need to ask us this?

tell the fukin sloot to go fuk herself. break the fuk up with her and I'm not even joking. she sounds like a fuking anchor on your life. even to suggest you should do what she wants you to do is beyond reg-flag status.

[SadBoys]

she told me I need to "grow up"



never. Its incredibly unlikely she's chasing money since she left her ex who was making stacks

Would dump my gf if she ever told me to grow up. srs. Never make a major decision based on something a woman wanted or initiated. NEVER. No matter how cute or trustworthy she seems, don't even contemplate it, you'll only get screwed in the end. I learned that the hard way. My suggestion, stay with parents and save money, times are hard and there's no reason to get out unless you're ballin'. Specially not because a girl wants you to do it.

[Fang2]

Don't listen to what she says and save money while you can dude. Once you get in the real world, you have to be responsible, pay your own bills, work 9-5 at an office, and continue.

[TallJJ]

Would dump my gf if she ever told me to grow up. srs. Never make a major decision based on something a woman wanted or initiated. NEVER. No matter how cute or trustworthy she seems, don't even contemplate it, you'll only get screwed in the end. I learned that the hard way. My suggestion, stay with parents and save money, times are hard and there's no reason to get out unless you're ballin'. Specially not because a girl wants you to do it.

Lol this. Just keep saving money up and get a real place OP. Not worth it to do something that doesn't feel right just because a girl told you to do it.

[SquallFF8]

She lives with a roommate and as mentioned earlier wants me to live on my own first before moving in together. Not to mention we haven't even been dating for a year yet so a bit early to move in together.

This thread just keeps getting more and more pathetic. You haven't even been together for a year and you're stressing about this really hard and allowing her to dictate your life. You just fail brah. Seriously. Take your marbles back from her and tell her to fuk off. Any other course of action makes you a little bitch.

I can tell by your responses ITT that you're loving the honeymoon period with this girl, and thats fine. But you really have no idea how chitty things will be when that wears off AND you move in together eventually (after living on your own and pissing away your money). I can tell that you're used to taking orders from her and letting her walk all over you. I can tell that you really want to appease her by making her dreams of conforming to society come true by moving in (which is what you'll essentially be doing by having your own place and her coming over all the time), getting married, preggo, ect… all in your mid 20's and before she reaches 30 and freaks out. Like some other miscer mentioned earlier, her friends and family are probably pressuring her into getting tied down because we all know how terrible it is for a girl to not be married and living that life before the age of 30.

The funny thing is how many female miscers have given you the same advice as the other guys ITT. Its good advice. Follow it. But I don't think you will. Its time to man up, make your own decisions at the age of 24, and let this girl know that she doesn't control you and will not force you into doing anything just for her benefit.

I have no faith in you though, OP. I predict this thread to end up like most do in these situations. You'll tell everyone thanks for the advice, listen and respond to the few posts that help you feel justified in appeasing this girl, and proceed to never tell us what you did because it will be the opposite of what the vast majority of miscers suggested.

[TheCohbrah]

I'm looking for some input. Some cliffs, she's older than I am and living on her own (renting). We recently had some arguments about her not feeling like relationship is "progressing" since I'm still at home and she wants to feel more like we're part of each others lives (so doing more things together that don't just involve watching a movie Tuesday evening or going out somewhere during the weekend. From the beginning she told me she doesn't want to be wasting time. Likewise, I told her I want to be out of my folks place next summer since I'm saving for a place to live instead of paying someone else's rent.

Now we've come to that point where she doesn't want to wait another year for me since she's unsure if the moment I DO move out that we will be able to still get along with the challenges of living with someone else (moreso me being by myself since that entails a whole new list of other responsibilities).

I'm looking for some input if others have been in a similar situation. On one hand I can move out, pay someone's rent, and extend the time before I can buy my own place by at least 3 more years but I would be learning a whole new set of life skills and progressing things with my gf. On the other hand, I can remain with my folks (we're in fairly good terms) where I can save a lot more money for my future where when I buy a place the money will go towards my equity but I risk being too comfortable (no real responsibility so I will be more eager to go out every weekend), not learning these important responsibility life skills and risk losing my gf. Also, my folks will help with a down payment if they can see I can actually properly save enough money for next year so that's a big weight off my shoulders.

Anyone?

cliffs:
move out and become "adult" + pay someone's rent + "progress" with gf

Versus

stay with folks and save for my own property next year + build my equity + sacrifice relationship with girl that I really like(i've sifted through the garbage girls vancouver has to offer and she's one of the few that I actually like)

If you don't LOVE her then who even cares what SHE thinks. Even if you do love her why would she not be happy when you are doing smart things for your future. If she sees her being with you for the long haul, she will be supportive of your goals knowing it will benefit both of you in the future.

[usersignup2]

have you considered buying a place with your gf, both contributing equal equity?

two advantages

1) IF you bought your place ON YOUR OWN right now and she moved in and contributed to the mortgage, she would be entitled to half should you split up after 3 years or so (depending on laws in your state/country).

2) if you foresee that the housing market will appreciate during your time together, even if you did break up, you would gain in home equity.

[SquallFF8]

have you considered buying a place with your gf, both contributing equal equity?

two advantages

1) IF you bought your place ON YOUR OWN right now and she moved in and contributed to the mortgage, she would be entitled to half should you split up after 3 years or so (depending on laws in your state/country).

2) if you foresee that the housing market will appreciate during your time together, even if you did break up, you would gain in home equity.

Scroll up and look at OP's post that I quoted. His girlfriend lives with a roomate currently and she wants him to live on his own (so she can obviously come over all the time and probably move in after her lease is up).

[Jayce_]

Do not move out till you can put the down payment on a mortgage.
If your girlfriend cannot think long term ditch her she is not worth the time.

[jeffl1980]

Good luck getting a mortgage without rental history

[puremb]

I bet she wants to move in with you. Huge difference between staying with your parents and saving for a house than staying at your parents with no job being a bum.

[SquallFF8]

I bet she wants to move in with you. Huge difference between staying with your parents and saving for a house than staying at your parents with no job being a bum.

Yeah her plan is really easy to read. She gets OP to move out on his own and she moves in when her lease is up with her roommate. (probably in a few months) She'll probably want to live for free and OP will happily oblige because it will "progress the relationship" or something.

[winterwind_23]

I'm 24 and still live at home. Dating not even once.

[ispy]

lol... reminds me of a thread where some female miscer had no clue on how to manage her money, and tried to make a miscer feel bad because he wanted to save up. her post backfired, and the misc took a giant collective **** on her.

[rocksmith]

Yeah her plan is really easy to read. She gets OP to move out on his own and she moves in when her lease is up with her roommate. (probably in a few months) She'll probably want to live for free and OP will happily oblige because it will "progress the relationship" or something.

THIS ^^^ Read op,was going to log in to say this.

[BorrachoDamor]

All her friends are probably pressing her to pressure to "grow up" already.

Her family is pressuring her to start a family already.

She realizes she's past her prime and wants to lock you up already.



I say move on

[Frank Drebin]

24 living with parents...son...thats freeloading.

[Stratostix]

Ive been in a similar situation. Pressured to do something u dont really want to do.

Dont go down that path. Do what u feel is best for u. In this case, saving to buy ur own house. This is a no brainer.

Put ur girl in her place. Literally. Do not cave. Tell her how it is. Its your life. She's a girlfriend. Not a wife. Not even a fiancee. Dont let women control you like that. Mine did for a while and i ended up dumping her manipulative azz.

Much was learned from the situation. Just passing this on to u. Do with it as u please.

[KizzaK]

tell her to fuk off, srs

[Lightly-Juiced]

Another case of a female bring you down in life. I understand her being 27 and telling friends and family she's dating a guy that lives at home though. Get that. If you do move out of your parents place get an apartment say 1k a month and a year from now you guys break up... You just wasted 12k.

I am currently in the same situation as you living at home until I can buy a town home or go back to med school.

[chicago]

tell her you're going to "grow up". get your own place but ask that she stays in her own place until you are engaged. i'm sure she won't like that kind of "growing up". she sounds manipulative. the only girl that ever would say something like "grow up" and not be joking was my EX girlfriend. and she became an ex because she was a manipulative bitch. never let a girl tell you how to live your life. the only girls that say stuff like that are the kind that are trying to control you. you think its going to stop when you move in with her? no. then she will try and fix the next thing she doesn't like about you....and the next.....and the next.

drop her.

[thetrebel]

black jesus has spoke *******


listen

[clyde015]

The actual "progressing, manning up, and growing up" in this situation would be to get rid of this vampire that you are in a relationship with. It is tough, but that is what it takes to "progress, man-up, and grow up."

Without even knowing her, I can tell you, it will only get worse. You want a partner--not someone who will boss you around. The fact that you are younger, gives her--in her mind-- a bigger reason to control the relationship. This is a small sign of worse things to come. You are on a responsible path, this is just a hurdle. Keep working hard. Good luck, brother.

[brahsaurus]

Pics?

[rnod]

YIAMSOMEBODY ended this thread on the very first reply. Nothing more needs to be added.

[dubdave86]

same exact position I was in. Saved 60K for a house, building credit to get approved on a loan, and then my parents decided to retire.

They didn't wanna sell their current house, so they went out an bought another one... Guess what tho? They needed me to be a co borrower on their loan to improve their debt to asset. What does that mean for me? Means I co sign on their loan. They also needed me to help them on the down payment, so I gave them 15k.

My parents have given me so much so I was returning the favor. Meanwhile, GF sees my plans to buy a house go to ****, but I wasn't worried.

Decided to rent a place for a year, until parents sell first house ans refinance, to get me off the loan.

While it sucks to be paying rent, it's a great learning experience. Once you buy a house, there's no going back. At least renting gives you insight into what life is like on your own, what you do and don't want in an actual house, and whether or not you can handle it.

The transition of living at home, to being a home owner, is quite the drastic one. Either way, renting or not, theres a lot to be learned.

Do it for you, not for her, but at the same time, think of the pros and cons of ea. situation.

[cookiefiend]

Wait you guys have been together less than a year? And shes already telling you she can't wait a year for you to complete a plan which you've been working on for a while which will set you up in a better position than most your age? Nope.