Have you ever dated someone and then later thought "wtf was I thinking?!"

[Violettt]

Explain please. lol

It's happened to me twice. Hindsight hindsight! I feel disgusted I dated those two! AH. They turned out to be everything I DON'T want. Thank goodness they didn't last too long. I'll take these relationships (as with all failed ones) as a learning experience.

[sgtpeppers]

I started shaking my head just reading this question. so... yes.

part of it is the initial intrigue for new people/experiences... then I think a bit of it is seeing what they do through a positive lens because you are trying to affirm that you fall for/are attracted to "good" people... and then comes the chemical trickery of oxytocin and whatnot.


more cats, please.

[Violettt]

Yeah, I was young and stupid. I think I only dated them because they were "nice" at first and REALLY persistent. I never want to settle again.

[sy2502]

Been there OP.

[beyond09]

Haha, but of course!

You live, you lean, you move on.

[AnnieRhi]

Little self-loathing teenage Annie didn't think she deserved better. For two years.

I'd call it a mistake, but the experience taught me what all my "red flags" were, in relationships, friendships, and even at work.

[VIBbrah]

no i havent.
How about we go out, so that someday i can know that feel?

[Jecrabbit]

Lmao yeah a guy I was with for two years when I was younger (15/16ish).

[TelP]

Yeah, currently. Now how do I let her down nicely??

[britchick884]

Dated? I married 2 of em :/

What? I like wedding cake don't judge me

[Cara0915]

Oh ya. Dated quite a few of those.
Learn from it and move on.

[latebloomingmom]

when I first went to college I would call home a couple times a week telling mom what my major was
"english" "no you will not get a job in that"
"childcare" "that is a glorified babysitter"
"ummmm...teacher?" " do you even like kids?"



dating is kind of like that for awhile..
you take all those things that did not work last time around
and go out and try something new and different

[apier]

that sentiment describes every single dude I've dated in my life

[cat5555]

Unfortunately, once or twice I have found the one, though.

[HotShotGG]

My first boyfriend was exactly this. I was so young and eager to jump into any relationship. But as you said, it's not a mistake, just a learning experience

[cjobson]

Explain please. lol

It's happened to me twice. Hindsight hindsight! I feel disgusted I dated those two! AH. They turned out to be everything I DON'T want. Thank goodness they didn't last too long. I'll take these relationships (as with all failed ones) as a learning experience.

YES.
Going through it now. Just got out of my first serious relationship, and was caught up in the whirlwind of the first relationship excitement I guess so I didn't really see how weird he was. Now that I broke up with him he won't leave me alone. He's so weird.
When I broke up with him I told him that I didn't have the time to put into the relationship. He said, "So you're saying that you have all this time for the gym, but not for me?"

hahaha. too funny. But yes I'm still kicking myself.

[poxyd]

Who hasn't?!

Mine- I dated a guy for 3 years and in this time he- 1. faked an injury to be discharged from the reserves and avoid going to Afghanistan; 2. I found out he had a MAJOR spandex fetish and it was just weird; 3. he liked to knock me around quite a bit. It was so bad that after we broke up, his mother called me and said, "Oh, did he hit you? Is that why?" If your mother thinks your an *******, you're probably an *******.

[Echo814]

Yep. That was my first serious relationship. 3 and a half years of being tore down by someone and minipulated into thinking he was the victim. He broke up with me through text and I later found out he was getting some on the side. Everyone told me I could do better but I didn't listen. I learned a lot thanks to him but once in a while I do think WTF was I thinking lol.

[lotusdeva]

Dated? I married 2 of em :/

What? I like wedding cake don't judge me

Ha-ha, me too

[Violettt]

Who hasn't?!

Mine- I dated a guy for 3 years and in this time he- 1. faked an injury to be discharged from the reserves and avoid going to Afghanistan; 2. I found out he had a MAJOR spandex fetish and it was just weird; 3. he liked to knock me around quite a bit. It was so bad that after we broke up, his mother called me and said, "Oh, did he hit you? Is that why?" If your mother thinks your an *******, you're probably an *******.

Oh wow! One of my "wtf was I thinking" guys didn't ever physically abuse me but he would criticize me and bring me down all the time. He was very manipulative and controlling. He had extrememly low selfesteem. I can't believe I dated that weirdo! It's embarrassing! Violettt was a stupid 19 year old! Lol

[Squatticus]

yup...the past 3 girlfriends, some of the people who have been here a while know the stories...I get alot of borderline psychos

[Gabrielle91]

I blew a guy once and regretted it afterwards. He gave it up way to easily, what a sloot.

[SaraTheWoo]

dated? I married 2 of em :/

what? I like wedding cake don't judge me :d

lol!

[ubsx]

I blew a guy once and regretted it afterwards. He gave it up way to easily, what a sloot.

reps for lyfe

[Gabrielle91]

reps for lyfe

Finally someone who understands my humor :P

[VenusStar]

Explain please. lol

It's happened to me twice. Hindsight hindsight! I feel disgusted I dated those two! AH. They turned out to be everything I DON'T want. Thank goodness they didn't last too long. I'll take these relationships (as with all failed ones) as a learning experience.

I mean, i've been on some god awful dates in the past!!! But not long term, if they gave off weirdo vibes straight away then i'd usually tend to avoid

[Amaranthin3]

IN . I don't think there has ever been a woman in her life who hasn't looked back and seriously question her dating standards with that previous guy . took my current boyfriend to make me realize that everything I thought I wanted in a guy was the exact opposite ... like my ex bf ... cant believe I put up with the hairy chest and back! urgh

[Magnolia916]

Yup! Hindsight is always 20/20, and your friends' and family's foresight is usually even better. I've learned to listen to them, since I'm unable to listen to my own damn instincts!

[mtnliones5]

Yes. Except I took it a whole step further and married him! Yuck! The worst decision ever of my life

Sure he had some redeeming qualities, but looking back I can't believe I ever lived that way! I will now only date men who make financially wise decisions, aren't dependent on their mothers and who clean up after themselves. I also only date men who strive to improve different areas of their life instead of just living day to day. Unfortunately it took this experience to learn this but after some shiz hit the fan and he was taking me down financially by defaulting on his student loans enough was enough!

Usually you see red flags but we were both in school so I thought things would change and he would grow up. Now if I don't like something about a guy I realize nothing will change that-- not even marriage.

[cirion0000]

Now if I don't like something about a guy I realize nothing will change that-- not even marriage.

Strong this. Goes for both genders. You can't change a person, they can only change themselves. That's why life is so much less a hassle to just go for someone who already has most of the qualities you deem necessary. Some may call me picky, I'm just being realistic and know what I want. Until then, I will continue to strive to improve myself for when I do meet someone, which will in turn make it more likely that I will in fact find someone who has their stuff together in all areas of life.

I had a female friend some time back that was extremely unfit/obese/unhealthy. I made it clear that I'm not interested in dating someone not interested in improving their health. Took a long time for her to take no for an answer. Is wanting a partner to be healthy and at least reasonably fit so much to ask for? Constantly got the guilt trip treatment for it. No thank you.