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  1. #31
    Let me unload my balls Paintballchick's Avatar
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    Was married to mine for 14 years.... Can't dwell on poor choices though just got to move on
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  2. #32
    Dymatizing Violettt's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Paintballchick View Post
    Can't dwell on poor choices though just got to move on
    Exactly!!!
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  3. #33
    Registered User Cherrybomb2's Avatar
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    Just take it as a learning experience.

    I dated a guy from high school when we got together on a senior Europe trip. I got so caught up in the romanticsm of hooking up in Europe. I was his first gf, and he was sweet at first, but turned crazy and controlling. Looking back, he was super boring, and he literally hated everything about me that makes me unique. (my energetic personality, my love for movies)

    He started getting super controlling after two months, and that's when I should have dumped him, but we ended up dating for 8. I was going to school two hours away, but I went home every single weekend to see him. If i wanted to spend time with another friend when I came home, he threw a fit. He told me I had to plan two weeks in advance if I wanted to see my other friends. When I would bring him along, I would bend over backwards to make sure he felt included, but he would literally just sit there and not talk, but then get mad and tell me that my friends didn't like him...

    He would literally get mad at me if I wanted to have lunch with my Dad or spend the night with my girlfriend because it took away from "our time" together.
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  4. #34
    O_o \m/ Keltron's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by latebloomingmom View Post
    when I first went to college I would call home a couple times a week telling mom what my major was
    "english" "no you will not get a job in that"
    "childcare" "that is a glorified babysitter"
    "ummmm...teacher?" " do you even like kids?"



    dating is kind of like that for awhile..
    you take all those things that did not work last time around
    and go out and try something new and different
    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to latebloomingmom again.
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  5. #35
    It's Over 9000!!! rdferguson's Avatar
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    I've only been in two formally dating relationships. First was when I was 19, and having never experienced mutual like-like before that, despite knowing that there were massive red flags that indicated we were a terrible match (and also massive red flags that she shouldn't be dating anyone at all), I was basically desperate enough to settle for anyone age-appropriate who didn't gross me out when looking at her. That bad decision stemmed from believing at a core level that my value and worth and satisfaction in life all depended on the ongoing affirmation that I'm romantically lovable.

    Second relationship, on the other hand, was about as close to a perfect match as they come. Before I met her, I fantasised about what the perfect relationship would be like, and she made the fantasy look like used rags by comparison. She had an anxiety disorder, and that's ultimately what ended the relationship. Eventually her anxiety disorder translated into a massive onslaught of dread and panic over commitment. I was absolutely shattered, and it took me two years before being emotionally open to starting a new relationship, which means I've been open to dating since about March/April this year. I haven't actually dated since then, though. I asked one girl out and she said no; I asked another out, and I'm not sure she understood that I was asking her out :/

    My perspective on where my value, worth and satisfaction in life comes from has changed drastically, as has my focus and direction in life. That'll protect me from making the same mistakes I made in my first relationship, but it also means that while my second relationship was beautiful (until it abruptly ended), I wouldn't want to replicate that relationship either. And, while losing her was absolutely devastating, it was worth it in order for God to shape me the way He has since (and through) that time.
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  6. #36
    Naples, FL MiamiSpartan's Avatar
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    Whenever I hear the 80s tune by Fine Young Cannibals "Ever Fallen in Love" (with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with), I always think of my ex....!!
    On the outside, a big, muscular handsome man, but on the inside filled to the brim with insecurities.....Found out after being dumped by him to go back to his ex that there was drug use there, and a lot of other issues.....

    Been happily partnered for 22 years to an amazing man!!
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    Am I self-centered or is it just me?

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  7. #37
    Turning Betas into Gammas Wyomann's Avatar
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    latebloomingmom and I dated for about 2 hours. She didn't even know it, that's when I realized it wasn't meant to be.
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  8. #38
    Banned apier's Avatar
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    I'm kinda stuck in one now with a dude who is just plain mean and sometimes I find myself thinking - seriously? this is the best you can do??
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  9. #39
    Registered User Jodie10's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by apier View Post
    I'm kinda stuck in one now with a dude who is just plain mean and sometimes I find myself thinking - seriously? this is the best you can do??
    Unstick.

    Seriously. You can do better
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  10. #40
    Black Legion XVI SkinCoffin's Avatar
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    Yeah, but we all do when we're young and stupid. Least I know now what I don't want haha.
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  11. #41
    Dymatizing Violettt's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by apier View Post
    I'm kinda stuck in one now with a dude who is just plain mean and sometimes I find myself thinking - seriously? this is the best you can do??
    Haha I've dated jerks in the past. You gotta goooo girlllll
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  12. #42
    Registered User smackey91's Avatar
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    Omg yes! My first relationship and the way we got into it was soooo stupid. At the time I loved it! We were 98% different. Practically nothing in common and we tried to make it work a few times but it turned out to be a nasty, mean, relationship. My family were all shocked I was with him when we first started dating.

    Tip: when your family who have the best in mind for you, tell you to stay away from someone. Probably best to do it. I wasted many many months of my life because of this fool. Oh well I wish the best for him though.
    Make their jaws drop and prove 'em wrong.

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  13. #43
    I actually lift Daydreamergirl's Avatar
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    Yes once. And it's probably important to mention to be careful and not ever be neglectful in the heat of the moment and get pregnant or something , can be very scarey.
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  14. #44
    Registered User MelissaLauren's Avatar
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    OOHHH YEEEAAhhh. I was in a long distance for a year. I was loyal and had a really hard year with him being gone. He did so many things that raised an eyebrow, and I have no idea how I made myself blind to his obvious infidelity. He comes home, I go on vacation with his family. It's 3am, and he's sleeping, and we are on an island on Lake Michigan 7 hours from home. I decided to creep his phone. Discoveries:
    -Multiple Twitter messages creeping on girls
    -******** messages to at least 6 different girls asking to Skype them
    -Message about him getting beer for a girl in return of a favor from her (involving her mouth)
    -Message about trying to have sex with girl a day after my birthday
    -Naked photos of ex

    And the list goes on. But yeah, that was a rough night.
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  15. #45
    Registered User vhenley164's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gabrielle91 View Post
    I blew a guy once and regretted it afterwards. He gave it up way to easily, what a sloot.
    LOL awesome
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  16. #46
    Registered User vhenley164's Avatar
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    I think this is part of life - dating losers

    I spent 7 years with a guy who I should have called it off after about 1 year. He wasn't a loser as such, it was just a bad, toxic relationship where no one was happy and I don't even know why we stayed together as long as we did. I try not to regret too much but this relationship I do regret. I spend most of my 20s with a guy who I knew wasn't for me, he cheated and I never really forgave him and I didn't like the person he made me - petty, unhappy and distrusting.

    When I did leave him it was for a guy who I have been with for 5 years and we are as strong now as we were when we got together. He is one of my best and oldest friends and we just merged together so easily. There is lots of love but I think that actually liking each other is so important - what's the point in love if you don't like each other. I see too many relationship where the couple seem to always be hiding from each other, that's not love, that's just weird
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  17. #47
    Registered User vhenley164's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by apier View Post
    I'm kinda stuck in one now with a dude who is just plain mean and sometimes I find myself thinking - seriously? this is the best you can do??
    Does he make you happy? Do you like the person you are when you are with him? Do you trust him? Is he the kind of person you would like any potential children to learn from? Can you see yourself with this person through all the sh*t that life can throw at you?

    It is hard to leave a bad relationship, especially if you have loved him but, seriously, you will look back and realise that you spend too much time on someone and the world doesn't end when you leave.

    Good luck
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  18. #48
    Registered User vhenley164's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MiamiSpartan View Post
    Whenever I hear the 80s tune by Fine Young Cannibals "Ever Fallen in Love" (with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with
    Didn't The Buzzcocks sing that in the 70s?
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  19. #49
    Banned Sebstan01's Avatar
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    Hells yeah!
    Once dated a guy who was younger than me (by four years). Never do that. Never.

    Naïve little moi thought love conquers all; current cynical me shouts, "hell no, age ain't just a number!".
    Long story short, the main issue with our breakup was (surprise), his lack of maturity. Not shocking how in a lot of the replies I've read so far, hindsight is always 20/20. Experience is always a desired consequence of mistakes, I guess .
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  20. #50
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    Originally Posted by MelissaLauren View Post
    OOHHH YEEEAAhhh. I was in a long distance for a year. I was loyal and had a really hard year with him being gone. He did so many things that raised an eyebrow, and I have no idea how I made myself blind to his obvious infidelity. He comes home, I go on vacation with his family. It's 3am, and he's sleeping, and we are on an island on Lake Michigan 7 hours from home. I decided to creep his phone. Discoveries:
    -Multiple Twitter messages creeping on girls
    -******** messages to at least 6 different girls asking to Skype them
    -Message about him getting beer for a girl in return of a favor from her (involving her mouth)
    -Message about trying to have sex with girl a day after my birthday
    -Naked photos of ex

    And the list goes on. But yeah, that was a rough night.
    Ugh, the lack of conscience of any kind deeply bothers me. I swear, some people rate on the far end of the sociopathic scale at times and completely disregard the consequences. Glad you realised you deserve much better!
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  21. #51
    Registered User WolfBeast's Avatar
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    Oh yeah...I was very naive my freshman year at my uni. was dating a pot head who also sold it which I didn't know at the time, only smoked when he went home every other day and I didn't see him. Kept it covered up pretty good as he did with cheating on me with multiple girls.
    Eyes really opened up after that lol.
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  22. #52
    Registered User kgrrl's Avatar
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    Yeah... I'm giving myself a facepalm just thinking about them.
    I tend to attract broken men and was attracted to broken men when I was younger. Abusive and dependant. One of them called all of my friends and told them a bunch of lies about me. Then he threatened my life, and to take his own life, when I broke up with him. Also, he was abusive.

    My second husband is probably my first good relationship.
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  23. #53
    Registered User arugula's Avatar
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    i've regretted spending time with pretty much every guy i ever dated. the nice ones were rare.
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  24. #54
    my shoes hurt Charuto222's Avatar
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    My second gf had all sorts of emotional problems, most notably were her abandonment issues. Being young dumb and full of cum as I was I thought it was a good idea to play the white knight and be her hero. It was awesome for about 4 months then her problems started becoming my problems. Her extreme neediness provided a nice ego boner at first but it wore off fast as I realized the tremendous amount of maintenance it required to keep her momentarily satisfied.

    I mistook her dependency issues for love, I had a tunnel visioned idea of what love was back then and thought that the more desperate and uncomposed it is the closer it is to "true love". She thought I was the solution to the emotional void that was inside of her but the truth is no boyfriend could ever fill that void, she has to do that on her own (to this day I don't know if she ever has). Then as I failed more and more to fill that void I found myself being blamed for all of her problems, it became "my fault" that her void existed in the first place.

    I knew things were getting out of control but I didn't want to give up on her, I wanted to save her, to pull her out of the emotional abyss that she was trapped in. But it wasn't happening, instead of pulling her out of the abyss, I was getting pulled in and by the time I finally accepted that this had to end it was far too late to do so without trauma. After breaking up with her, I ended up with a $550 phone bill because of her repeated suicide threats (this was before the days of unlimited texting). Avoided her at all costs from that point forward but stories of her showing up to school with conspicuous looking marks on her wrists among other incidents found their way to my ears for some time to come, the strings remained attached well after the breakup was over.
    They see indoctrination and they call it "morality", "professionalism", or "maturity" depending on the context.
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  25. #55
    Registered User misstressjulia's Avatar
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    Yes there's few guys I regretted dating and I'm just glad it's finnished
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  26. #56
    Registered User Vixentine's Avatar
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    I've only been with two men in my life (kind of embarrassing at 27, but I am very content being alone). Anyway, my first boyfriend I always look back on him and go, "wtf was I thinking?"

    I met him out of high school when I was 18, still a virgin and we met on a popular social networking site through mutual interests (electronic music and raves). He lived relatively close to me, so I borrowed my parents car one weekend, told them I was going camping with a friend and drove to meet him. This was the first indication of my naive, idiotic, young mind and I think now, "are you retarded, he could have been a rapist/murderer!!"
    We hit it off and got along great, but he was always messaging/meeting up with other girls to "hang out" and I know he cheated on me several times. One girl he cheated on me with was apparently a "lesbian" lmao? I was so naive and thought I was "in love." /facepalm
    I ended up breaking things off with him after years of being treated that way and I am still proud of myself for cutting him completely out of my life. I have still never seen him or talked to him since that day, been 7 years now.

    At the same time, his behavior made me realize what I deserve in a relationship and I realize how much my current boyfriend is perfect for me in every single way. He's the complete opposite of my ex and I couldn't be happier. At least I left that relationship with something positive... and clean, lol.
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