I'm a bouncer in a club and the amount of brainwashed people is fukin insane (LOL)

[RicksenUK]

Am I the only one that sees the flaw in his logic?

Sure, if im browsing the cereal aisle at my local food market and some little old lady nudges me with her cart. No, i'm not gonna go HAM on her and push her and her cart out of my way and tell her to go phuck herself. If some drunk ******* my age comes in reaking of booze and comes and starts hanging all over my grocery cart all up in my personal space, I sure as phuck would push him the phuck off me and call him a kunt.

The flaw in your logic is you would struggle to push your grocery cart around let alone push someone. Too skinny brah.

[DeBaie]

Liquid confidence....

[ryantatarniuk]

I was a bouncer for 2 years

Never again.

BRB getting bottled from some jackass
BRB never getting paid properly
BRB sleep schedule of peace
BRB poor pay
BRB bar industry is greasy as fuk
BRB sometimes getting into extreme situations like kicking out a group of gang members

I did have fun though. Banged a hot bartender, had a really good relationship with my fellow doormen, still friends to this day

definitely a temp thing though

[Panthrax]

Wow cool story. Will u please tell us another

This.

OP next time you have trouble in the club just tell them this story and they'll leave immediately.

Boringzzzzzz/10

[Vibrio]

Typical misc being judgmental and defending the "my lifestyle is better than yours" idea. Everyone is different, everyone blows off steam differently. I worked security in college at a few clubs, and I held similar views as OP, because when you're sober and everyone else is drunk, it's easy to judge. There are some *******s out there (jersey shore wannabes, thug wannabes) that are pathetic. Those clowns aside, everyone else is out to have a good time. I've thrown people out, and I've been thrown out. I work all week (accountant), and usually hit the bar/clubs 2 or 3 times a month with da boyz. Typically I get pretty drunk, but I don't get aggressive nor do i get sick. I like the selfie song because I thought it was more or less making fun of the whole 'selfie' revolution. I have never posted a 'selfie' of myself on any social media website, nor will I ever. Is it condoning or poking fun at it? I really don't know.

So my question to you OP: I have a good job, good friends, yet I prefer to alter my reality once in awhile and get hammered. What is wrong with that? And don't be so proud of yourself for phuking with people when they're drunk. Not a hard thing to do chief

Perspectives fired! Perspectives fired!

[magog704]

So last night me n the crew r scanning the club, we run securtity on every door in town, ran the old pussies outta town, aint seem em since. had the usuial drunk assed preppy f@gs from the local college, simple choke hold, knee, punch and they are down then we throw them into a dumpster ion the alleyway, one night we puyt 8 guys in it at once, squashed em in like tuna in a can.


im working the door, crowds are lovin it, seeing me, im a damn celebrity oin this town, im like "chill the **** out" but these guys are shoving n **** trying to get a glipse of my strong assed self especially since im rockin a fine italian suit, really shows off my frame,m

Peoiple r texting each other n ****, soon musta been 1000 outside the club taking pictures begging to get in, guys start shoving some girlsz and the crews like "**** this" and jump in, start nailing people uypside the head, i break out the bats we keep behind the door, cracking skulls all over the ****ing place. women love this ****, im top dog and they cant get enough of me whoopin ass,, im givin them a glimpse of my strong ass face inbetween swings of the blood soaked bat, its like a damn photo shoot.

next thing i know some pussy draws a gun, little T makes a grab and gets hit, good thing the crew wear vests, i dont, i aint got time for that pussy ****, so i go for the guy with a "son, somebody about to get their **** messed up" look on my face i see a flash but dont feel **** since im jacked up with adrenaline, i tackle this guy and the crew goes to work on his skull while i kick his gun down a drain. crowds gone ****ing wild,

Crew locks down the club and calls a doc, girls r all over me crying n ****, im like "i aint got time to bleed" and sip some $1000 champage with a **** eating grin opn my face, when the docs turn up they couldnt believe their ****ing eyes, turns out my jacked up muscle fibras stopped that 9 in its tracks, like organic body armor or some ****, a normal pussied ass guy wouldnt hit the bricks and died, a bullet aint sah1t to 220lbs of coiuled up fibras, you dont gotta be a scientist to knopw that.

[ChildPlz13]

So last night me n the crew r scanning the club, we run securtity on every door in town, ran the old pussies outta town, aint seem em since. had the usuial drunk assed preppy f@gs from the local college, simple choke hold, knee, punch and they are down then we throw them into a dumpster ion the alleyway, one night we puyt 8 guys in it at once, squashed em in like tuna in a can.


im working the door, crowds are lovin it, seeing me, im a damn celebrity oin this town, im like "chill the **** out" but these guys are shoving n **** trying to get a glipse of my strong assed self especially since im rockin a fine italian suit, really shows off my frame,m

Peoiple r texting each other n ****, soon musta been 1000 outside the club taking pictures begging to get in, guys start shoving some girlsz and the crews like "**** this" and jump in, start nailing people uypside the head, i break out the bats we keep behind the door, cracking skulls all over the ****ing place. women love this ****, im top dog and they cant get enough of me whoopin ass,, im givin them a glimpse of my strong ass face inbetween swings of the blood soaked bat, its like a damn photo shoot.

next thing i know some pussy draws a gun, little T makes a grab and gets hit, good thing the crew wear vests, i dont, i aint got time for that pussy ****, so i go for the guy with a "son, somebody about to get their **** messed up" look on my face i see a flash but dont feel **** since im jacked up with adrenaline, i tackle this guy and the crew goes to work on his skull while i kick his gun down a drain. crowds gone ****ing wild,

Crew locks down the club and calls a doc, girls r all over me crying n ****, im like "i aint got time to bleed" and sip some $1000 champage with a **** eating grin opn my face, when the docs turn up they couldnt believe their ****ing eyes, turns out my jacked up muscle fibras stopped that 9 in its tracks, like organic body armor or some ****, a normal pussied ass guy wouldnt hit the bricks and died, a bullet aint sah1t to 220lbs of coiuled up fibras, you dont gotta be a scientist to knopw that.

cliffs?

[Sebt1890]

Lemme take a dick pic

[LordBroski]

Lol I don't even go to clubs anymore. It's been years. Nothing but dumb ass sluts, guidos, PUA a-holes, and a bunch of mindless goons awkwardly jumping around and buying overpriced drinks. There is nothing exciting about clubbing at all.

I only went with girls I was dating at the time because going out for dinner and drinks = getting laid. But now, fuk that too.

[Melite]

Riveting tale.

[headturner1]

love it when some cock m8 'bumps' into me. me and my brahs clean house, even the security get trashed m8s.

Haha, I bet.

You're a softass m8, id give you a proper beat down.

Mask of zorro wearin *******.













Not srs, well the last part I'm srs though.

[datkidfromtheNW]

don't know why anyone would be a bouncer at a trash club. saw a bouncer with claw marks all over his face. looked like a bitch at the club scratched the **** out of him the previous night

[LordBroski]

don't know why anyone would be a bouncer at a trash club. saw a bouncer with claw marks all over his face. looked like a bitch at the club scratched the **** out of him the previous night

The pay is complete chit though and those seedy clubs can get quite dangerous. I think most dudes go into bouncing for the image of looking like a tough guy, or because they were too herp-a-derp to get into the police department so they boss around people at a club instead. You also get an endless supply of dirty pussy.

[MasterMikko]

lol'd

can imagine OP sober in a club among drunk ass people shaking his head at them week in week out

[TheDamned]

I was a bouncer for 2 years

Never again.

BRB getting bottled from some jackass
BRB never getting paid properly
BRB sleep schedule of peace
BRB poor pay
BRB bar industry is greasy as fuk
BRB sometimes getting into extreme situations like kicking out a group of gang members

I did have fun though. Banged a hot bartender, had a really good relationship with my fellow doormen, still friends to this day

definitely a temp thing though

so much of this is real life for me atm...

[BigG21]

lol'd

can imagine OP sober in a club among drunk ass people shaking his head at them week in week out

pretty much brah

[FlipaDeltia]

Bouncers, what gives you the thousand yard stare into not going out anymore? Whats the fasade?

[xXZedXx]

There's a selfie song?

This, GL with your commercial radio goals of 2015 *******s.

[mommaofobama]

Somehow (thankfully) I have never heard of this take a selfie song.

Im in my late 20s and I know it makes me sound old and cliche as all hell, but I feel like todays youth (16-22yo) is the dumbest and most immature generation in history.

You're not alone man.

Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.

[ArseneFox]

LOL OP I can relate a 100% to what you are saying. Every action is so shallow. But than again, it depends from club to club, if it's like a pop electronic music club no wonder that you think all those kunts are stupid.
Not even once will I go to a club that has the potential of even playing the #SELFIE song. Those clubs have 0 experimental music lovers, all they do in that club is try to pick a root and drink alcohol and play stupid mainstream EDM. Go be a bouncer somewhere else OP, more in a club of experimental music lovers, where people might take psychedelic drugs instead of lame alcohol, you will recognize the intellectual diffrence immediatly.

[Heych1995]

OP my 17 year old gf likes to hit up clubs weekly.. am i gonna make it?

[BetaThanU]

puts it into perspective brah

It's a good line, but I'd imagine there are heros who would just say they would **** them up in a grocery store too.

[maxcoleman]

Make a chitload brah, 2 nights work is probs $600 so working 3-4 nights a week you're pulling in a lot. Other security jobs where you do fuk all and more pay are the way to go.

Lol $5000 a month as a paid thug for four days work per week. Jenniferlawrence.gif.

[betterthangoode]

someones upset they can't have a good time

[Mr.Serpent]

OP my 17 year old gf likes to hit up clubs weekly.. am i gonna make it?

I have some bad news.

[BigG21]

Lol $5000 a month as a paid thug for four days work per week. Jenniferlawrence.gif.

u mad brah?

[OnlyCarnage]

Used to be a bouncer crew
Killed my early 20's
Plus side is the experience got me into the mining industry
Brb sitting for 12 hours miscing, watching movies, getting paid good bank
Go home, go to old venues, drink for free and look at the poor souls on the door thinking they ain't gonna make it
We're all gonna make it

[Sergis]

you're a sober guy in a sea of drunken people wtf do you expect

this is why people who dont drink are looked down upon

[jamesbwbevis]

never been to a club crew

[Heych1995]

never been to a club crew

strong crews