Hold me misc... gf broke up with me today, devastated

[holysht]

Even though we've been through a tough spell with a silly amount of even sillier arguments, I felt we were solid and that it's just a stupid phase. We just got back from a week in Malta, we argued before going twice on the holiday and in the car on the way home... I think we both pushed eathither to the limit...

On the holiday after the first argument, I had a horrible sinking feeling where I started to question my feelings towards her but I realized I love her too much to break up due to silly arguments... Even though I realized this, I still felt stressed and we argued on the way home in the car..

No kiss good night and no I love yous exchanged as usual yet in the morning before she left for work, she said "love you loads" and gave me a little kiss. Few hours later I get a cold and clinical text basically saying to pack my stuff and that she will refund me the money I've put towards our dream holiday.

We to get my stuff... Ahe's taken down all the photos of us and put them in my bags, completely erased any trace of me from her house but in the conversation about the break up, she ccalled me baby a few times and asked what I want to do... I feel like this was an opportunity to make a romantic gesture but I just shut off and skirted around it because I felt she'd already made her mind up so I didn't want to make myself look stupid.

She says she'd still go on the dream holiday as friends, that she might call when she misses me, last thing she said was "you need to text me and make me fall in love with you again"

Just don't know what to do... On one hand she's erased me from her life suddenly and clinically... On the other dropped a few very small hints that possibly mean it's not ffully over.

I'm not going to contact her for a few days then maybe send her a non grovelling romantic text, nothing soopy, just letting her know I still want it to work and I'm willing to work at it and change ny ways (I made her feel chit quite often due to my own insecurities)... What do Misc?

[holysht]

Cliffs:

- Op and gf of one year go through rough argumentative patch and argue whilst on holiday and after it
- gf seems cold but says she loves me loads and kisses me before work
- Few hours later breaks up with me over text, tells me to get my stuff and that she will give me money back for our next holiday
- Says she feels like for a long time we've been friends, makes OP feel it's clear she's had enough
- Drops a few very small hints that might be somerging there, last words gf says to OP "you need to text me and make me fall in love with you again"

I don't know... It seems things stagnated and we drove each other apart with arguing but I can't help but feel her reaction is extreme and that if she sits down and thinks... We'll I hope she'll realize that we were great together before we let it go **** and that we can make it work.

[AirJordanB]

Even though we've been through a tough spell with a silly amount of even sillier arguments, I felt we were solid and that it's just a stupid phase. We just got back from a week in Malta, we argued before going twice on the holiday and in the car on the way home... I think we both pushed eathither to the limit...

On the holiday after the first argument, I had a horrible sinking feeling where I started to question my feelings towards her but I realized I love her too much to break up due to silly arguments... Even though I realized this, I still felt stressed and we argued on the way home in the car..

No kiss good night and no I love yous exchanged as usual yet in the morning before she left for work, she said "love you loads" and gave me a little kiss. Few hours later I get a cold and clinical text basically saying to pack my stuff and that she will refund me the money I've put towards our dream holiday.

We to get my stuff... Ahe's taken down all the photos of us and put them in my bags, completely erased any trace of me from her house but in the conversation about the break up, she ccalled me baby a few times and asked what I want to do... I feel like this was an opportunity to make a romantic gesture but I just shut off and skirted around it because I felt she'd already made her mind up so I didn't want to make myself look stupid.

She says she'd still go on the dream holiday as friends, that she might call when she misses me, last thing she said was "you need to text me and make me fall in love with you again"

Just don't know what to do... On one hand she's erased me from her life suddenly and clinically... On the other dropped a few very small hints that possibly mean it's not ffully over.

I'm not going to contact her for a few days then maybe send her a non grovelling romantic text, nothing soopy, just letting her know I still want it to work and I'm willing to work at it and change ny ways (I made her feel chit quite often due to my own insecurities)... What do Misc?

If you argue with someone while on vacation, which is supposed to be a blissful time, that's not a good sign.

brb I'm dumping you
brb I'm going to call you when I'm lonely
brb text me and make me fall back in love with you
brb me me me me me

She sounds selfish and the two of you have some communication issues. If she really wanted to be with you, she would've tried talking it out with you and would work it out instead of breaking it off. Do you want risk spending time trying to get her back, only to end up getting turned down time after time as she leads you on and gives you false hope while searching for her next boyfriend? Because that's a likely scenario. You can't change someone's mind once they've made a decision and you should never sacrifice your worth to try to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. I say go no contact and laugh when she starts blowing up your phone in a few days.

Edit: she feels like you've been "friends" for awhile? Oh lawd. Lost attraction doesn't return.

[03clacey]

Seriously wanna get her back? Pull some soppy **** like take her out for a special dinner and have a nice romantic movie night after dinner on the sofa with a blanket and some dessert. She'll melt.

But

In my opinion the guy above me's right, she sounds high maintanance and **** that, she takes your pictures down a few hours after breaking up with you, but wants you to grovel? brilliant how gay is that gonna be when she eventually puts them pictures back up in her house? BETA as furk feels that day brah. Plus she'll be calling all shots from then on.

Cliffs -

Dump that hoe

Bang another sloot

Record

Send video to ex

Bang ex

Edit - Send both videos to 03clacey (not srs)

Edit - (Was being srs)

[SSayain1Day]

Is this who God wants you to be with? Ask Him?

[holysht]

Thanks for the reply brah... I disn't think of it like that... That she will use me as a comfort blanket when lonely but not want me... Fukkin hurts to think about it.

She said she is still attracted to me... Our sex life kind of died though, I couldn't tell if she literally meant she just felt like a friend and nothing more or if she was trying to say she feels like the way we've been acting together just feels like friends. On one hand she says she still wants to be my friend... On the other she's saying she still loves me and finds me attractive, called me baby a few times... So confused.

My best friend just went through something similar, he's back with his gf after a three month break, surely the attraction returned for them?

[AirJordanB]

Thanks for the reply brah... I disn't think of it like that... That she will use me as a comfort blanket when lonely but not want me... Fukkin hurts to think about it.

She said she is still attracted to me... Our sex life kind of died though, I couldn't tell if she literally meant she just felt like a friend and nothing more or if she was trying to say she feels like the way we've been acting together just feels like friends. On one hand she says she still wants to be my friend... On the other she's saying she still loves me and finds me attractive, called me baby a few times... So confused.

My best friend just went through something similar, he's back with his gf after a three month break, surely the attraction returned for them?

There are exceptions to every rule. I don't want to say it can't happen for you, but if your ex was telling you she feels that you've been more of a friend than lover, it's a very bad sign.

I'm a believer that breaks are BS. If the relationship is worth it, people try to work it out. Your ex dumped you, which tells you that she thinks you're worth giving up on. Sure, you could chase your her and maybe you could eventually get her back, but at what cost? Would you take her back if she hooks up with other guys? Because that's a serious possibility. Why should you "fight" for her when she's the one breaking it off?

Usually when relationships hit the point of a breakup, usually too much damage has been done to go back. Even if you get back together, you'll probably hold resentment or you'll walk on eggshells while trying to be perfect. She'll hold all the power and you'll live in fear of being dumped again. Not worth it, IMO.

[holysht]

That's how I feel. Despite everything I still feel we can and that I want to work it out but she doesn't, like you said she's chose to break it off instead of talk it out... It's such a hard pill to swallow.

Assuming I'm hellbent on trying to make it work, what do you think will give me the best chance at rekindling this? I don't want to end up grovelling but I don't want to play it so cool that she thinks I'm not willing to try.

Some of the stuff you've said has hit home I feel I may be a comfort blanket for her until she feels attractive enough to get another guy... Feels so bad, I really love her yet I feel like nothing now. I should walk away but I feel like I can't brah... Repped and thank you.

[holysht]

Maybe text her in a few days or in reply if she texts me first:

"look, I'm not going to be a comfort blanket for you when you're lonely until you move on... I do love you very much, I want to try and I really think it can work but you need to want that too."

How does that sound?

[whereyamamiat]

You guys got too comfortable with each other which happens when you live together.. The spark is gone.. It's going to take some time apart... Wouldn't try to fix things now.. You could win her back but it will go back to chit quickly.... Go nc...She's in control... Time to take it back.

[Sogard]

Maybe text her in a few days or in reply if she texts me first:

"look, I'm not going to be a comfort blanket for you when you're lonely until you move on... I do love you very much, I want to try and I really think it can work but you need to want that too."

How does that sound?

I would just wait a few days. She will start thinking about you, or probably still is. Eventually she will text you again.
If you wait it really gives you time to think about the relationship and if it is going to work. Then when she gets in contact with you, you can decide if you want to be with her or not.

[blondeblueskies]

She doesn't respect you, her behavior sounds incredibly callous and unkind, and it's time for you to move on. Go NC and don't let her pull you back in when she realizes she misses you in a few days. There are other girls out there and plenty of them won't treat you like you're expendable.

Sorry.

[RedDevilNation]

It can always be worse.

For instance I came in my gf's mouth a couple hours before I knew she was cheating on me.

[holysht]

She just spoke briefly to me on ********.

"hey you ok?"
"have you unpacked?"
"look after your passport! I worked hard to get you that"
"sleep tight"

I was civil and said I'm ok etc, should I try and ignore her as much as I can, seem disinterested etc?

[matt87]

Know what will rustle her the most? Not talking to her... don't reach out to her, you don't have to be a dick if she contacts but just pretend you're busy...

Ultimately it's your feelings here, and you'll do what you're going to do, regardless of what we tell you. But others have been spot on in that how she's treated you, and telling you that you have to "win her back" or whatever is BS.

[whereyamamiat]

She just spoke briefly to me on ********.

"hey you ok?"
"have you unpacked?"
"look after your passport! I worked hard to get you that"
"sleep tight"



I was civil and said I'm ok etc, should I try and ignore her as much as I can, seem disinterested etc?

yes ignore her you....shouldve just "yep im fine..thanks..take care"

She kicked you out...no need to worry about being nice...go nc now. **** will eat her alive.

[Violator009]

She says she'd still go on the dream holiday as friends

fuk no, id want my money back

[AwFukBye]

all that fighting on vacation and stuff surely isn't what either of you want, and doesn't sound like the behaviour of a solid couple. tbh brah it sounds like you or her should have gotten out a little sooner but were too comfortable/too scared to do anything about it so just kept going on ignoring the issues.

now she's had enough and wants out.

but she's still scared so she's going to try and keep you as backup in case she doesn't enjoy life when ur gone. the more you contact her, the more you respond to her messages, the more time you devote to her, etc. the more she is going to feel comfortable with her decision. ie, she's going to think "awesome, he's still there, now i'm going to go out and look for other dudes cause i'm single and can do what i want."

go NC brah. serious NC. anything you want to say to her today or tomorrow can be said in a week. NC. we're all gonna make it.

[NBSprinter]

Maybe she wants to phuck other guys in the dream vacation with her friends. jk. (but still srs)

[VoodooChild68]

What stood out for me was when she said "you need to text me and make me fall in love with you again," That was BS Op. Rekindling attraction is a two way street. Before she broke up with you she should of communicated what was missing in the relationship, romantic wise for her. Its not your job to read her mind and magically know what she wants.

Defiantly cut back on the contact, it was drive her nuts and she will do some major thinking. Things won't change is there is no space and you are around everything she wants to chat or be friends (which is BS, she broke up with you) then there will never be a chance for change

Space/Distance is never a bad thing.

[AirJordanB]

Maybe text her in a few days or in reply if she texts me first:

"look, I'm not going to be a comfort blanket for you when you're lonely until you move on... I do love you very much, I want to try and I really think it can work but you need to want that too."

How does that sound?

She just spoke briefly to me on ********.

"hey you ok?"
"have you unpacked?"
"look after your passport! I worked hard to get you that"
"sleep tight"

I was civil and said I'm ok etc, should I try and ignore her as much as I can, seem disinterested etc?

If I were you, I would talk to her as long as she's talking to me. I wouldn't message or call her first, but I also wouldn't ignore her. She could regret her decision and come back, or she could just continue to talk to you as a "friend" to wean herself off of you before she moves on and to keep herself from getting lonely.

You could pull away and see if she follows after you. You could push and be direct in your attempts to get back with her, but that will probably just drive her further away. At the end of the day, you have to decide for yourself how you want to play this. Don't let the advice of the misc influence you too much, but understand that breakups usually follow a pattern. I would bet that your relationship was probably trending towards a breakup for awhile, but since she was the one to break it off, you're more hurt by it. Remember the bad times and bad things about her, weigh them against the good and really think about whether or not you should be trying to salvage anything. Good luck and keep us updated.

[holysht]

Just woke up with such a knot in my stomach... Feel so down, it's almost 2am and I can't get back to sleep. All I can think about is how could she remove me from her life so clinically... Maybe that's her way of dealing with things but it fukkin hurts.

She has been making small talk with me. I haven't been a dick but have her short direct answers, just said I'm tired and off to sleep and that she should get some too etc.

Is what she said to me (I need to make her fall in love with me again) rreally that bad? I was really chitty to her during the last few arguments, complete knob (says she has to do this because she doesn't ever want to be treated like that again) so I took it has her basically saying "look... I have to do this but you need to make me feel like you'll never treat me like that again" and so on?

[holysht]

The thing you guys said about her probably just comforting herself by talking to me until shes ready to find another guy... It's eating me up to the point I want to ask or tell her that I don't want to be used and that if she honestly feels like that's what she is doing or wants to do (find someone else) then she needs to be honest and tell me so we can cut contact completely and move on with our lives...

I know I can't say that... Well especially so soon because it will just drive her further away. I do feel there was much more good than bad... The only grievance I have with her is the arguing, I loved being with her she made me feel like I could do anything. I really don't want to give up on her, even if it's crap, I'd do anything for a chance to make it work and if it goes wrong again then so be it no regrets but as of now I have so many regrets.

[HI_KKM]

bump this thread after you get back with her and get married...











































































and she pulls the same trick again only you have to pay child support and alimony (srs)

[UsernameOfPeace]

"you need to text me and make me fall in love with you again"

WTF

forget this kunt.

[SoThisIsFun]

Damn that is some long cliffs. Didn't read chit, op.

[BorrachoDamor]

Chase her until she loves you again

[SoThisIsFun]

Fck me I read cliffs. It's not gonna work out, don't try forcing it.

[holysht]

I'm the blue text in the fb convo. Tried to be civil and a little friendly... I didnt reply to the last thing she said, resisting the temptation to. I don't want to have big pointless random conversations with her because that'll just cement any friend thing but I still want her to know that I love her and I'm willing to work for her but how do I do that without entering a convo which will end up discussing the relationship again which I think will push her away. I dunno if I should try be fun or maybe a little suggestive or even show concern and care... Argghh

[Violator009]

dude stop texting the fuken broad, block her number and go no contact, and stop listening to those kunts who say you should be civil, you dont have to....