RH Chat 24: "I've never felt a connection like this before." - love, potato

[MrSilverback]

I hate when my phone rings period, especially texts! Ugh nothing worse than relaxing on the couch with your phone in the other room you hear your text ring go off so you get off your ass to see whats up and its some stupid chick texting you lol

Damn Pens almost gave me a heart attack yesterday the silly bastards

I'm actually the same way. Texting gives me anxiety lol. If its a chick I am really into, I have no problem with calls/texts/smoke signals/etc LOL. I just am not going to assume shes going to think the best way to ask her out is calling. Most chicks I know would be like "Well that's kinda weird."

I agree with the general principle. It's just that times have changed.

Make a wish ElJefe lol

[HeBrewHammah]

See I won't call usually because everyone here is so in-tuned to texting. I have ZERO problem calling if she asks me to or even better, doing it face to face.

I just know how I am. I'm on the phone ALL day. When the phone rings I cringe. I hate when people call me.

I hate when people call also. But I also hate when people text me all day. Chick I'm seeing right now, if I don't message her, she leaves me be and I love it that way. Every so often she'll send something from pinterest or whatever, the pic's that have things like "I miss you & want to snuggle with you" or crap like that, but that's usually the extent of it.


Or every once in a while, I'll message her and tell her what I can't wait to do to her later that evening when she comes over. That's really about it.


The difference between you and the other guy is probably the fact that you get yours. So, you can work it how you want. I'm the same way. I've done all the above. I don't really have a preference. I just think it would serve some of them well if they'd just finally nut up, then shut up.

[ElJefe904]

I'm actually the same way. Texting gives me anxiety lol. If its a chick I am really into, I have no problem with calls/texts/smoke signals/etc LOL. I just am not going to assume shes going to think the best way to ask her out is calling. Most chicks I know would be like "Well that's kinda weird."

I agree with the general principle. It's just that times have changed.

Make a wish ElJefe lol

Funny thing is that is how I could usually tell if I liked a chick or not. If my phone rings and I am think "Please GOD don't let it be Susan again" then yeah shes gotta go. The most annoying is when you don't answer for a few hours and then you get a "Well you must be busy so just hit me up later" or some BS along those lines

[MrSilverback]

I hate when people call also. But I also hate when people text me all day. Chick I'm seeing right now, if I don't message her, she leaves me be and I love it that way. Every so often she'll send something from pinterest or whatever, the pic's that have things like "I miss you & want to snuggle with you" or crap like that, but that's usually the extent of it.


Or every once in a while, I'll message her and tell her what I can't wait to do to her later that evening when she comes over. That's really about it.


The difference between you and the other guy is probably the fact that you get yours. So, you can work it how you want. I'm the same way. I've done all the above. I don't really have a preference. I just think it would serve some of them well if they'd just finally nut up, then shut up.

I think the nut up part really just involves saying what it is you really want, confidently, whether it's text or in person. If you want to see the girl for dinner, a drink, coffee. Just say it.

I asked a girl out at the gym for the first time EVER last week lol. I have to say, out of ALL the approaches I've had with women, that was by far the most intimidating.

[HeBrewHammah]

Damn Pens almost gave me a heart attack yesterday the silly bastards

Was almost excite/10

I think the nut up part really just involves saying what it is you really want, confidently, whether it's text or in person. If you want to see the girl for dinner, a drink, coffee. Just say it.

I asked a girl out at the gym for the first time EVER last week lol. I have to say, out of ALL the approaches I've had with women, that was by far the most intimidating.

Well, deets. How'd it go? Obviously well, but I mean, as far as the overall process?

[AdamL00001]

lol someone in RH said they've approached 500 girls and are still hugless. rofl. facepalm.



Why is talking to women rocket science for some? I just don't get it.

It happens when you don't have anybody to teach you or show you the ropes. Source: a somewhat reformed idiot that hates failure.

[goodcupcakes]

I think the nut up part really just involves saying what it is you really want, confidently, whether it's text or in person. If you want to see the girl for dinner, a drink, coffee. Just say it.

I asked a girl out at the gym for the first time EVER last week lol. I have to say, out of ALL the approaches I've had with women, that was by far the most intimidating.

Well what did you say and did it work?

[MrSilverback]

Funny thing is that is how I could usually tell if I liked a chick or not. If my phone rings and I am think "Please GOD don't let it be Susan again" then yeah shes gotta go. The most annoying is when you don't answer for a few hours and then you get a "Well you must be busy so just hit me up later" or some BS along those lines

I'm REALLY trying to be positive these days but....

I haven't had that in a VERY long time. Last time I can think was my ex in 2007

Well, deets. How'd it go? Obviously well, but I mean, as far as the overall process?

She said yes, got her number, text convo has been dull. However, she agreed to hangout this weekend. I'm also going to see if she wants to train together tonight.

If she flakes this weekend its game over.

[Montre]

birthdays spent alone are awesome, you don't even have to cut the cake you can just dive in with a fork. and no awkward singing of happy birthday where everyone stares at you for 30 seconds. hard to buy just one party hat though, they usually make you buy a big pack of them so that's one bad part, excess party hats

Hahahaha. Amazing

The weathers finally turning here, happy easter weekend everyone

[John$Galt]

Warming them up makes them more saggy and floppy? Did not know....

surprised you didn't know that. I guess my own knowledge comes from having been in possession of testicles for 30 years now. I love when they're all saggy and floppy, but I don't think girls dig that look.


Here are some photos from my Japan trip:

http://www.dingtwist.com/cherry-blossom-photos/

These are my favorites:













[/QUOTE]

[HeBrewHammah]

It happens when you don't have anybody to teach you or show you the ropes. Source: a somewhat reformed idiot that hates failure.

Dude, nobody ITT has a dating coach.



If someone goes and fails at an approach, and doesn't adjust accordingly, there's nobody to blame but themselves.

[MrSilverback]

Well what did you say and did it work?

- Started when she overheard i do contest prep/consultation
- She said she was thinking about doing a show in the future (bikini)
- From there I made it a point to say hello when i saw her
- How's your day going? How was your weekend? Etc.
- From there the convo's got into questions about me, what i do; and subsequently, me asking her the same
- Flatout asked her if she had a boyfriend, said no
- Asked if I could take her out for coffee sometime outside the gym
- Gave me her number

I came to the conclusion that VERY rarely does "cold approach" ever work in the gym. You need to build some sort of rapport.

[HeBrewHammah]

Here are some photos from my Japan trip:

You went to your motherland?

What part? I've been twice to Sasebo.

[John$Galt]

You went to your motherland?

What part? I've been twice to Sasebo.

Stayed in Funabashi for most of the trip, went into Tokyo a few times and down the Izu Peninsula to Shimoda once. I really want to go back in a year or two for 2-3 months in the summer and explore the entire place on a motorcycle. People are so nice, polite, and friendly there, and they LOVE Americans, which is rare when you go abroad.

How'd you like Sasebo? I've never been that far south.

[HeBrewHammah]

I came to the conclusion that VERY rarely does "cold approach" ever work in the gym. You need to build some sort of rapport.

lol. Sadly this.

I've run into some real stuck up kunts in the gym at times. God forbid you even passed by her while breathing in her direction....

ZOMG, fkn pig! lol

jk. But partly srs also

Stayed in Funabashi for most of the trip, went into Tokyo a few times and down the Izu Peninsula to Shimoda once. I really want to go back in a year or two for 2-3 months in the summer and explore the entire place on a motorcycle. People are so nice, polite, and friendly there, and they LOVE Americans, which is rare when you go abroad.

How'd you like Sasebo? I've never been that far south.

It wasn't bad. Quiet honestly.


I wanted to ride the speed train or whatever it's called to Tokyo, but my chain of command made it off limits. Plus, I can only imagine the disaster that city would see with 5000+ sailors running around getting sh*thoused after being out to sea for months.

wouldlooklikegodzillahit/10

[b0yer2]

blah blah blah

Dude, I mean this with all due respect, but you need to grow a pair of fukking balls. The reason your ass got dumped is because you let her dictate everything. You put things on her terms and then expect her to respect you. When she's a b*tch you don't call her one, you try to be nice and expect her to change without putting your foot down. You are a pussy and that is why she is gone. (Again all due respect)

In the future, you need to be an actual man. When in a relationship, you are two people who work to make one another's better. You enjoy each other presence and have fun when you hang out. You will not be head over heels in love all the time and in fact it would be weird if you didn't. Once that happens, you work to make each others lives even better. It sounds like from the beginning this girl only cared about herself.

I've seen you post a lot of feelers in here about this girl, but its all about her and how she doesn't respect the things you do, but I can't help and feel the same as she does. I don't respect you as a man based on your posts. You sound more like the girls that post here. With all of this being said, I think you have the potential to really change and become a powerful man. The problem is you care about what others think about you and get hurt easily. If you want to become a man, do the things you love and stop caring what others think, including this girl. Even when you are with someone, you shouldn't care what they think about you. If they leave, they leave (they won't if you truly don't care about others opinions of you). I know that sounds kind of selfish, but you can't be afraid to lose your girl. The minute you are scared of losing her, you are going to change your actions and not be the same person she met when she got with you. Don't be scared to make a fool of yourself in front of other people. Let go of your ego. When you act without your ego, many doors will open up for you and you will be a happier person.

Find what you love and go for it. Work hard and keep grinding no matter how hard it gets. Good luck to you man, really. Cut this girl out of your life completely. Don't respond to texts or calls for a good 6-8 months and evaluate how you feel. If shes still contacting you by then and you want her back, go for it, but you won't. After 3 months of NC and her getting a new bf, you'll move on.

This is the start of something bigger, not the end.

[Navillus13]

It happens when you don't have anybody to teach you or show you the ropes. Source: a somewhat reformed idiot that hates failure.

Well cartoons and media pounded into my head that approaching girls meant I should have anxiety and fear. Fking hated that cartoon DOUG because of that. Then include any 80s teen/high school show or movie.. back to the future movie.. etc.

its all pounded into our heads from a young age to fear girls and rejection.

[bitty_bish]

Why is it a fear of yours? I think it's great. Even if you don't use the knowledge, it's always good to learn new sh*t, and when you're learning, your brain is getting exercised and all areas of thinking improve. Also, pics of peed panties pls.

I never liked school. Thought it was a huge waste of time, but really it was a defense mechanism. I just really never excelled at anything, just sort of an average student that never really applied herself. Meh, if I had the chance to knock the crap out of that sour little chick now...if only. Now that I have the chance again, I'm just a little scared. I'll do it, and I hope that I find myself really liking it. My company is paying for it, so I'm not in any sort of financial crunch...but I have to maintain at least a B average. So yeah, there is fear there.



Those pictures are B-E-A-utiful!! I'm so glad that you had a great time and that you arrived home safely.

no peed panty pic. you are disgusting.

[hublife]

Horrible Post.

Look bro, I didn't read a single thing you wrote. But posting this chit in this thread is against the rules. Go start a thread in the RH so you can get your questions/feelings/tampons there. But this thread is meant for conversation and simple one question type things. Not the fukking 10 page cringefest that you post every other day.


Sincerely,

Everyone ITT who actually follows the rules

[MatTheCur]

I came to the conclusion that VERY rarely does "cold approach" ever work in the gym. You need to build some sort of rapport.

Rapport works best in most situations, not JUST the gym. It's how well or badly we are at building rapport that gives us the nuts to go any further

Dude, I mean this with all due respect, but you need to grow a pair of fukking balls. The reason your ass got dumped is because you let her dictate everything. You put things on her terms and then expect her to respect you. When she's a b*tch you don't call her one, you try to be nice and expect her to change without putting your foot down. You are a pussy and that is why she is gone. (Again all due respect)

In the future, you need to be an actual man. When in a relationship, you are two people who work to make one another's better. You enjoy each other presence and have fun when you hang out. You will not be head over heels in love all the time and in fact it would be weird if you didn't. Once that happens, you work to make each others lives even better. It sounds like from the beginning this girl only cared about herself.

I've seen you post a lot of feelers in here about this girl, but its all about her and how she doesn't respect the things you do, but I can't help and feel the same as she does. I don't respect you as a man based on your posts. You sound more like the girls that post here. With all of this being said, I think you have the potential to really change and become a powerful man. The problem is you care about what others think about you and get hurt easily. If you want to become a man, do the things you love and stop caring what others think, including this girl. Even when you are with someone, you shouldn't care what they think about you. If they leave, they leave (they won't if you truly don't care about others opinions of you). I know that sounds kind of selfish, but you can't be afraid to lose your girl. The minute you are scared of losing her, you are going to change your actions and not be the same person she met when she got with you. Don't be scared to make a fool of yourself in front of other people. Let go of your ego. When you act without your ego, many doors will open up for you and you will be a happier person.

Find what you love and go for it. Work hard and keep grinding no matter how hard it gets. Good luck to you man, really. Cut this girl out of your life completely. Don't respond to texts or calls for a good 6-8 months and evaluate how you feel. If shes still contacting you by then and you want her back, go for it, but you won't. After 3 months of NC and her getting a new bf, you'll move on.

This is the start of something bigger, not the end.

So much this. Good lord you're on point, b.

[AdamL00001]

Dude, nobody ITT has a dating coach.



If someone goes and fails at an approach, and doesn't adjust accordingly, there's nobody to blame but themselves.

True to a point. If you don't know what you're doing wrong, though, you're never going to get better results. It's the same way with everything in life--difference here being there's no dating manual that you can research and read up on. Most times as guys, we're supposed to just "know" or "be natural" and not awkward when approaching, but for the vast majority of people, that just doesn't happen. So we go for what we see works (in media and movies at least) and wonder why it doesn't work IRL. Hilarity then ensues.

[Navillus13]

I never liked school. Thought it was a huge waste of time, but really it was a defense mechanism. I just really never excelled at anything, just sort of an average student that never really applied herself. Meh, if I had the chance to knock the crap out of that sour little chick now...if only. Now that I have the chance again, I'm just a little scared. I'll do it, and I hope that I find myself really liking it. My company is paying for it, so I'm not in any sort of financial crunch...but I have to maintain at least a B average. So yeah, there is fear there.

Schools blow dix because they have to teach to a text book. I was bored as fuk 1st grade through high school, aside from various high school classes that allowed dynamic learning/teaching and not just cater to 1 specific text book. my best/fav classes were calculus, mechanical drawing and architecture. Maybe a little bit of economics but BARELY.

Grade school was all "read this, then regurgitate it out onto a test". fuking joke. All that did was enhance my short term memory skills. Mathematics is the only subject that catered toward critical thinking and problem solving.

[ElJefe904]

True to a point. If you don't know what you're doing wrong, though, you're never going to get better results. It's the same way with everything in life--difference here being there's no dating manual that you can research and read up on. Most times as guys, we're supposed to just "know" or "be natural" and not awkward when approaching, but for the vast majority of people, that just doesn't happen. So we go for what we see works (in media and movies at least) and wonder why it doesn't work IRL. Hilarity then ensues.

What Silverback did was the correct thing to do...He planted the seed first, acted friendly and then went in for a move. Women want to feel comfortable, you do this and your guaranteed to get with her if there is mutual physical attraction

[AdamL00001]

What Silverback did was the correct thing to do...He planted the seed first, acted friendly and then went in for a move. Women want to feel comfortable, you do this and your guaranteed to get with her if there is mutual physical attraction

Mhm. The problem I had (and still have if it's someone I'm REALLY into, yes I'm an idiot) is making them comfortable and then sliding into the emotional sponge territory. I blew a lot of opportunities by establishing that initial seed and then waiting way too long to try to escalate. By the time I felt like she was ready, that ship sailed.

[Montre]

Editing to meet Hublife's rules.

Posts read and well received. There's no respect due, I knew ages ago it was toxic and I let it linger and it tore me down, as these things do. Thank you everyone.

I've always wanted to visit Japan, those sakura trees are so beautiful. It's always been a dream of mine to pick a country and motorcycle it, I think it would be amazing.

[Navillus13]

Where's Digi been??

[ElJefe904]

Mhm. The problem I had (and still have if it's someone I'm REALLY into, yes I'm an idiot) is making them comfortable and then sliding into the emotional sponge territory. I blew a lot of opportunities by establishing that initial seed and then waiting way too long to try to escalate. By the time I felt like she was ready, that ship sailed.

Then use that friendship to your advantage. That girl you just became friends with has female co-workers, friends, acquaintances, family members etc etc. The plus is that friend will do most of the talking for you about you. "Adam is such a nice guy! You should meet him!" I can't count the number of times my female friends have hooked me up with other females

[IronCharles]

I'll take calling a lady over SMS every day of the week. Voice inflections, pacing, well placed pauses, etc convey far more information than a text with s few smileys ever could. Of course, I cut my dating teeth on corded phones, way before texting was invented. It wasn't uncommon to chat on the phone with a young lady for an hour or two. And I loved school because of all the face to face opportunities. Texting is convenient, but it's no substitute for voice or even video interaction by a couple of skilled conversationalists.

[b0yer2]

True in many regards. I put my foot down on plenty of topics, especially towards the end. Told her over the last two weeks that I was done with her **** and I deserved better. That was when she started to listen. You are right though, it has always been about her, and something I'm learning quickly is that REAL relationships, between friends, family, lovers, etc are those that allow yout o keep eachother accountable.

It wasn't a relationship where I could hold her accountable or responsible for anything. Therefore it became toxic.

She's mad she didn't get into school and her life is falling apart. She works part time at a clothing store and at this point is essentially a drug addict. She only looks forward to the weekends to get ****ed up. Yet she will sit here and talk to me like I'm not what I'm chalked up to be. I just graduated with insane marks in a program I never thought I'd succeed in, I have a full time job while I find a career gig instead of ****ing around playing video games all day. I'm actually not sure if she's just projecting her failures onto me, because she sees me juggling all this **** and succeeding well.

Bolded- Only putting your foot down with two weeks left is pointless, do this from the beginning. You also said you were dont with her crap, but you took her back so your word isn't all that strong in that regard. If you deserve better, go get better.

Italics- This is irrelevant. Who cares about her anymore.

[bitty_bish]

Everyone ITT who actually follows the rules

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to hublife again.

I skip past anything that dude posts.

Grade school was all "read this, then regurgitate it out onto a test". fuking joke. All that did was enhance my short term memory skills. Mathematics is the only subject that catered toward critical thinking and problem solving.

So true at bold. I really feel like I didn't retain 1/2 the information I could have. Which is completely on me. Now math, that's a completely different issue. I don't have a numbers head, or I just had horrible teachers.