"Making it part of your lifestyle" - How did you make the change?

[deanjcrawford]

Hey all,

I wanted some advice/opinions from people that have lost weight or had a big cut, but made the changes to their diet put of their new lifestyle.

I've yo-yo'ed in weight over the last couple of years (started at 126kgs, now at 108kg) and found that my biggest obstacle in sticking with my macros. I'm English, and my friends and I all play for football team so one of the things we like to do socially is go out for a drink and curry most weekends. When i started logging my calories about a year ago, i worked out in one day i consumed nearly 5000 calories in one day! Take away the curry, i consumed almost 2000 calories from alcohol alone. So i just stopped going to the events, or went for less calorific dishes, went for gin and slim line tonics, etc, or at times just didn't drink. I lost weight, but wasn't having a good time. But i lost weight, so should be happy and just stick with, right? I couldn't. I just couldn't be around my friends as i was a moody git.

Having to worry about what i eat or drink all the time just drives me nuts and at one point i will just crack and say screw it. I want to stop worrying about what i put in my mouth every five seconds...but is this possible? I know the general advice is IIFYM, but that just doesn't work. I can't go out knowing i can only have 4 g&t's and then stop. How are you supposed to go out and have fun with that regimented mentality? Maybe just don't do it? But it's loads of fun and i miss hanging out with my friends. If i'm honest, i love having a drink and a curry every now and then. I love junk food. I love food. That's why i was so fat!

So, can i realistically just have one or two nights a month where i don't track and just eat and drink whatever? Can that be part of my new lifestyle where i'm probably going to consume 2000-4000 calories in one night or is this just a recipe for disaster? I'm hoping some people who have had success in the past do something similar to this, as i feel i'm destined to fail.

Sorry, this turned into a bit of a rant, but thanks for looking!

[dmacdonal9]

It's like anything else in life man, you need to align your short term behavior with your long term goals. I would like to buy a buy a new luxury car every two years because that would be fun, but I've been driving the same old pickup truck for 9 years now, because that's what's best for my long term financial goals.

If your short term enjoyment from overeating is more important to you than your long term health and fitness, then nothing will change until you decide to reverse those priorities.

[USMarine03vet]

It's like anything else in life man, you need to align your short term behavior with your long term goals. I would like to buy a buy a new luxury car every two years because that would be fun, but I've been driving the same old pickup truck for 9 years now, because that's what's best for my long term financial goals.

If your short term enjoyment from overeating is more important to you than your long term health and fitness, then nothing will change until you decide to reverse those priorities.

This is true!!
Man, its all about short term goals and setting yourself up to be successful. Its like preparing your food daily.. If you do it. you will win.. If you don't, you will be Burger King... Sucks but its so F'n true..
How I got myself right, was being an absolute loner when it came to eating. My wife hates it, but shes use to it. If we go out, I pack food and I eat what I pack.. For years, this practice was never taken seriously and I would fail.. Now its like second nature..
You can't worry about what your friends or family is doing. You have to focus on yourself.. Their is no magical Macro number, pill, or workout that will allow you to partime or halfazz diet.. for me, I have to be committed 110% of the time, or I fail.. Its just the way it is..
I encourage you to self evaulate and decide on what is reasonable. By your pictures you seem to have come a long way, rewarding yourself is awesome and needed so you dont go insane. But remember, moderation is key and if you don't use control, you will unfortunately be doing all of this for nothing..
Fitness/ health/ Workout out is a lifestyle.. It's one, IMO 99% of people, can't do at all. That's why most who try take extreme thoughts or measures to ensure they meet their goals!
Ill check back in on this to see how you decide. I wish you the best of luck bro!

[adasafa]

One of the biggest changes I made was drinking only water. No soda/juice/etc. I even cut out drinking alcohol for the most part. At first I would last about 2 days before I caved and had to drink soda, then it was 1 week, then 2 weeks, then I went about 1 month without soda. After that it became easier. Now I'm to the point where anything other than water/tea/coffee seems a little disgusting.

Moral of story: Drink water. It has 0 calories.

[AncientYouth]

right now you are enjoying yourself being a big fat p@sshead more than having a fit and healthy body , when that changes ...sometimes due to a medical scare ...you may change your priorities


I never had the medical scare, but I made the change from .too much food ..not alcohol 22 months ago and have totally changed my body and mindset....and I still enjoy all the food I used to eat

[DankDangles]

The word "lifestyle" implies that it isn't something you should feel obligated/forced to do. It's part of who you are, it's somethings that you may enjoy, and something that becomes routine.

This isn't going to come about until you have the proper motivation to do it consistently. Once you have that and have been in the gym/eating right long enough, it will slowly become part of your "lifestyle". I started lifting due to low self-esteem, self-image, and self-respect since I was skinny-fat, unattractive, and lacked confidence coming out of high school. While other things may have helped me conquer those things as well, a change in my fitness lifestyle certainly helped. Now it's more a hobby and an extra-curricular interest I have outside of my job. I think about it often, enjoy discussing it with people like yourself, and treat it seriously.

I wouldn't say you need to hit rock bottom to be motivated, but you need a solid reason why you are pursuing fitness. Whether it's a drive to compete with others, a need to improve yourself, or a genuine interest in the process itself. Whatever the reason, it needs to provide the required motivation to stay consistent.

[deanjcrawford]

Thanks for the replies, much appreciated.

The problem I have now is not being a fat p$ss head (haha, nice choice phrase!) rather the opposite. I abstain a lot from going out, but don't really enjoy myself. Then after 6 months I'll have a month where it becomes too much and I crack and put weight back on.

Like one of you said, my secret to losing weight has been prepping my food. By Sunday evening, monday to Fridays meals are made and put in Tupperware in the fridge (thurs and fri in the freezer). Its just the weekends. I have to not see my friends, and with more time on on my hands I have to resist the urge to snack. Plus it's the weekend so i feel like I should be treating myself to some delicious food (I've been on the cut friendly recipe thread but I'm not much of a chef...)

I want to be fit and healthy in the long run, and i know boozing it up every weekend is not going to cut it, but I was hoping I could do something once a month as to get rid of those cravings, enjoy myself have a good time with my pals. Is that realistic for a long term healthy plan?

I'm still hoping someone is going to come on this thread and say have a curry and beers once a month as it is classed as a re-feed day, haha!

[deanjcrawford]

The word "lifestyle" implies that it isn't something you should feel obligated/forced to do. It's part of who you are, it's somethings that you may enjoy, and something that becomes routine

I wouldn't say you need to hit rock bottom to be motivated, but you need a solid reason why you are pursuing fitness. Whether it's a drive to compete with others, a need to improve yourself, or a genuine interest in the process itself. Whatever the reason, it needs to provide the required motivation to stay consistent.

I actually hit my rock bottom about a year and a half ago. I was 126kgs and struggled to walk up a flight of stairs. Now I'm at the gym 5 times a week and running 5ks. Like I say, I want to change my lifestyle full time, I just want my lifestyle to include some of the things I enjoy (curry and beers with the team once in a while) whilst being healthy. I just haven't got the balance right because everyone I make a "lifestyle" change, 6 months later something goes wrong. My lowest weight has been 98 kgs but ive put on 10kg since mid December, but the scales are going down again now I'm back on track. I just don't want to make the same mistakes this summer and am trying to work out what I need to do from preventing that from happening.

Also, well done to you. Sounds like youve been working hard!

[dmacdonal9]

I was hoping I could do something once a month as to get rid of those cravings, enjoy myself have a good time with my pals.

But why do you have cravings? If you're restricting specific foods, you're doing it wrong. Eat foods you enjoy every day, but fit them into your calories and macros. I've got a big slab of apple crisp waiting for me in the fridge for tomorrow, and that's where I'll get the majority of my carbs and fat that day. Breakfast will be a big pile of scrambled eggs, egg whites and ham, just so that I'd be able to fit that apple crisp later and still hit my protein.

Another day I'll have a croissant sandwich and an english muffin for breakfast, so I'd have far fewer carbs the rest of that day, and so on.

If you have cravings for big piles of food that simply don't fit, then it's just because you want to feel stuffed. But you can do that without overeating too; by focusing on high volume, low calorie foods, like salads, fibrous vegetables, potatoes, broth-based soups, protein fluff (search recipes on this site for fluff).

If you're going out with friends Saturday night, eat very light at breakfast and lunch, so you can have the majority of your calories in one big restaurant meal. If you order the right stuff, you can still hit your macros.

If it's about booze, there's not much I can tell you there. I've personally found that alcohol is very, very difficult to fit on a cut, just because it's calories that come with no carbs, fat or protein.

[AncientYouth]

over the 2 week xmas period I went out for dinner about 10x + xmas dinner and new years day mega blow out................and lost weight!

[razor23]

over the 2 week xmas period I went out for dinner about 10x + xmas dinner and new years day mega blow out................and lost weight!

Wow, very unhelpful. A guy is looking for help with motivation and all you've got is, I haven't had any willpower at all lately, been partying like crazy and I'm still losing weight! It's like a big "in your face". Not cool, imo.

As for OP, all the advice given from the other guys has been very good. It's about priorities and finding a balance that works for you. If you feel crazy cravings after you've been living your new lifestyle for a while, it's time to reassess and see what you're doing wrong. Once you find what's right for you, you will have ups and downs as this is normal but you shouldn't have bad cravings all the time. That's not maintainable. Good luck finding what works for you.

[deanjcrawford]

Eat foods you enjoy every day, but fit them into your calories and macros.

But that's the thing, i find it impossible to fit in a lamb garlic curry, pilau rice, naan and sides plus lager (for example) into macros. It's just not possible, but that's what i really enjoy. So the question i'm asking is, will having a "night off" once a month kill me? Can i make a cheat day part of my lifestyle? (I know some people don't believe in cheats, just stick with IIFYM, but i've mentioned how on certain occasions this won't work)

And if i do want to try and make some of my favourite foods fit into my macros, it's just not worth it as i'll only be able to have such a small amount. I'd rather have a big plate of eggs, or chicken and veg for dinner then two slices of pizza. But again, here is the restriction which ultimately bothers me and i can't find a way around.

And AncientYouth, good for you, but if i did that i'd put on weight the second i walked into the restaurant...and i did!

[AncientYouth]

Wow, very unhelpful. A guy is looking for help with motivation and all you've got is, I haven't had any willpower at all lately, been partying like crazy and I'm still losing weight! It's like a big "in your face". Not cool, imo.

.

no you MUPPET what I am saying is I have loads of will power and managed to stay within my overall caloric deficit during that period

what you didn't ask is how? basically on the days I went out to dinner that was pretty much all I ate for the day apart from a very light lunch

what I am saying which the OP seems to want to hear is that you Can enjoy food and eating out , but you have to stick to certain dietary rules

[AncientYouth]

@OP you are a big guy you can eat loads if you want you just have to learn to moderate your behaviour you are just used to OVEREATING!

How hard do you train will also be a factor

[deanjcrawford]

Wow, very unhelpful. A guy is looking for help with motivation and all you've got is, I haven't had any willpower at all lately, been partying like crazy and I'm still losing weight! It's like a big "in your face". Not cool, imo.

As for OP, all the advice given from the other guys has been very good. It's about priorities and finding a balance that works for you. If you feel crazy cravings after you've been living your new lifestyle for a while, it's time to reassess and see what you're doing wrong. Once you find what's right for you, you will have ups and downs as this is normal but you shouldn't have bad cravings all the time. That's not maintainable. Good luck finding what works for you.

Cheers buddy!

[deanjcrawford]

@OP you are a big guy you can eat loads if you want you just have to learn to moderate your behaviour you are just used to OVEREATING!

How hard do you train will also be a factor

I did overeat, that's why i was so fat. Now mon-fri my diet is pretty much perfect. I think variation will help with the boredom slightly.

And i too used to just eat light for breakfast if i knew i was going out in the evening and do a weights session, but i would still calculate that i could have gone over by about 1500 calories. I just don't think there is anyway to factor in a proper night out without doing some damage. So it seems like i have to choose between social life or a good physique. But if i'm not taking that good physique out??

[AncientYouth]

Either way you go you have to sacrifice something...too a point!

a big fella like you training hard, I don't know what your occupation is should easy be burning on average 3500 calories a day , 3000 is quite a lot of food !

[deanjcrawford]

Yeah, you're right. I guess i'm just over thinking things. A meal is around 1500 calories but it's the beer that really does it. Like you say, you'll have to sacrifice something to a point. I guess in future i might start shaving calories off during the week and hit the gym hard on the day if i plan on having a big one. I just see so many dedicated posters on here on seem to live super clean lives and make so many sacrifices, i just don't know how they do it.

I really wish my idea of a good time didn't include 3500 calories!

[and1_balla52]

Ask yourself something...and be honest...are you going to never eat curry with your friends again? I once suffered in the same way, until I realized a few things...#1)You dont have to always be so over-analytic of your food intake...You have to have balance. Periodization. Cycles. Phases. However you want to word it, but they all have to be directed towards the same overall goal and lifestyle. Im not saying diet yourself down to a reasonable body fat, and then say **** it and go crazy...find a happy medium. But most importantly never lose track of your overall goal. In every journey there will be ups and downs, peaks and valleys, but you just have to stay the course and remember what you want. A good read would be Lyle Mcdonald's "Guide To Flexible Dieting". Best of luck.

[Nondeplumage]

I've found the most helpful thing when going out to eat is order whatever you want, and enjoy it, but be mindful of how you feel as you're eating. Used to be, if I had a giant plate in front of me of whatever, that was getting eaten. Doesn't matter if I spent $5 or $20, if I spent money on food, I was eating the food. Leftovers weren't even on my radar as a possibility to saving anything for later. Now, I take more time to eat. I don't say ahead of time I'm only going to eat half, or I'll eat this but skip the rice, or whatever. That kind of regimented behavior just makes me eat even more, because our lizard brains are still retarded. Over a period of time, after taking my time to eat, I find I can gauge at what point I am satisfied. Not stuffed, not still starving, but satisfied. It's a point where I can say, okay, I can stop eating now and I'll be good until the next meal.

Either way, if there are leftovers I can't save (things that don't reheat well for example), it's either a case of wasting food in the trash, or wasting foods as extra fat. I've already spent the money one way or another, so I'd rather the trash bag get fatter than me. And if later it turns out I'm still hungry, I can grab a little snack and enjoy it. It's a change in behavior that you have to actively work on yourself in order to change old habits, but that's how it goes.

Moderation. Moderation doesn't mean denial. This plate of curry isn't the last you'll ever have. There's never, ever going to be a shortage of beer. It'll all still be around next time, so don't treat every outing like it's a last meal.

[TheNobodyThere]

2000 calories from alcohol, thats a lot of drinks. Just stick to few beers a night, you don't have to drink them in one sip.

[ShortBrah3030]

If you can't have fun without drinking then you need to get new friends or a new thing to do. You're dependent on food and alcohol to have fun. You need to look at your own life and be completely honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you feel the need to drink and overeat. Is it because you're bored? Probably.

i'd look at weening yourself off alcohol firstly. Find something you like to do that's physical and do that 5 - 7 times a week. It can be just walking 15 minutes a day to sprinting uphill for 20 minutes or w/e. What that does is it builds habit of doing something active.

Ween yourself off drinking by doing this: whenever you go out, drink 75% of what you usually would, then in a few weeks go down to 50%, etc. Replace the alcohol you aren't drinking with water or at least diet soda. Alcohol can KILL you. It's not just about it making you fat. It can KILL YOU.

Willpower is like a muscle, you have to train it in order for it to grow. Train your willpower by not drinking as much and not eating as much dog****. It will get easier as your willpower grows stronger.

Find something you like to do that is pretty easy to do like walking or riding a bike. Do that 5 - 7 times a week for 10 - 20 minutes. Doing that will build habit. Most people struggle most with actually getting up to do something, rather than actually doing the thing. Once the habit of doing something active is ingrained in your brain, take it to the next level, start going to the gym.

Oh, and take it slow or you'll burn out unless you have crazy determination, which it doesn't sound like you do. I'm not trying to insult you I'm just examining the situation. Do one little change at a time. Tackle one beast at a time.

[deanjcrawford]

If you can't have fun without drinking then you need to get new friends or a new thing to do. You're dependent on food and alcohol to have fun. You need to look at your own life and be completely honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you feel the need to drink and overeat. Is it because you're bored? Probably.

take it to the next level, start going to the gym.

Hiya mate, thanks for the reply. I actually go to the gym about 5-6 times a week and lost about 28 kilos in 18 months, but i've put back about 10 of those trying to change my lifestyle. I can overeat, sure, but this particular problem is more to do with my favourite foods/drinks being very calorie dense. My best friends are part of my football team. We have been for years, and the post match banter/food/drinks is a big part of that. Basically, my problem lies in that i can live like a saint for months, then, well, i guess fall off the wagon is the best way to describe it. Everyone says in moderation, but the teams typical saturday is very hard to moderate so i just stay away, but that quite frankly, is rubbish!

[AncientYouth]

I think you know the answer now, you just don't at the moment want to do it

[kmoff77]

Hiya mate, thanks for the reply. I actually go to the gym about 5-6 times a week and lost about 28 kilos in 18 months, but i've put back about 10 of those trying to change my lifestyle. I can overeat, sure, but this particular problem is more to do with my favourite foods/drinks being very calorie dense. My best friends are part of my football team. We have been for years, and the post match banter/food/drinks is a big part of that. Basically, my problem lies in that i can live like a saint for months, then, well, i guess fall off the wagon is the best way to describe it. Everyone says in moderation, but the teams typical saturday is very hard to moderate so i just stay away, but that quite frankly, is rubbish!

I was doing my cut during NFL season. I'd go to the sports bar every Sunday to watch the games with my friends. I just ordered different things that what I normally would have. Instead of eating 20 chicken wings and multiple pitchers of beer, I would choose a lower calorie food. Sometimes a sandwich or salad. And I found that drinking liquor with diet soda ending up being less calories for me also. I still made it work and fit under my weekly calorie goal.

It's tough, but it can be done by making a couple substitutions.

[tidnab]

Hey all,

I wanted some advice/opinions from people that have lost weight or had a big cut, but made the changes to their diet put of their new lifestyle.

I've yo-yo'ed in weight over the last couple of years (started at 126kgs, now at 108kg) and found that my biggest obstacle in sticking with my macros. I'm English, and my friends and I all play for football team so one of the things we like to do socially is go out for a drink and curry most weekends. When i started logging my calories about a year ago, i worked out in one day i consumed nearly 5000 calories in one day! Take away the curry, i consumed almost 2000 calories from alcohol alone. So i just stopped going to the events, or went for less calorific dishes, went for gin and slim line tonics, etc, or at times just didn't drink. I lost weight, but wasn't having a good time. But i lost weight, so should be happy and just stick with, right? I couldn't. I just couldn't be around my friends as i was a moody git.

Having to worry about what i eat or drink all the time just drives me nuts and at one point i will just crack and say screw it. I want to stop worrying about what i put in my mouth every five seconds...but is this possible? I know the general advice is IIFYM, but that just doesn't work. I can't go out knowing i can only have 4 g&t's and then stop. How are you supposed to go out and have fun with that regimented mentality? Maybe just don't do it? But it's loads of fun and i miss hanging out with my friends. If i'm honest, i love having a drink and a curry every now and then. I love junk food. I love food. That's why i was so fat!

So, can i realistically just have one or two nights a month where i don't track and just eat and drink whatever? Can that be part of my new lifestyle where i'm probably going to consume 2000-4000 calories in one night or is this just a recipe for disaster? I'm hoping some people who have had success in the past do something similar to this, as i feel i'm destined to fail.

Sorry, this turned into a bit of a rant, but thanks for looking!

Going out for a drink and curry once a week shouldn't have to sabotage your long term goals. 2000 calories alone from beer alone is excessive though... that's a LOT of beer. Maybe instead of limiting yourself to 3 G+Ts (which aren't exactly calorie-free either) you could take up drinking Scotch instead. Less calories that way and easier to sip on and nurse for a long time so you're not sitting there without a drink.

[razor23]

no you MUPPET what I am saying is I have loads of will power and managed to stay within my overall caloric deficit during that period

what you didn't ask is how? basically on the days I went out to dinner that was pretty much all I ate for the day apart from a very light lunch

what I am saying which the OP seems to want to hear is that you Can enjoy food and eating out , but you have to stick to certain dietary rules

What you didn't say is ANY of that in your original post. To me it sounded like what I said. Regardless of how you meant it, without the further explanation, it was absolutely useless.

[AncientYouth]

What you didn't say is ANY of that in your original post. To me it sounded like what I said. Regardless of how you meant it, without the further explanation, it was absolutely useless.

The point of the post in the context of the thread is that we can eat socially without putting on weight if we our to mind to it

If you had any clue about weight loss you would know that it's impossible to over eat and not put on weight, therefore I HAD to be eating at a deficit to lose weight...I was merely giving an example for the OP sorry if it went over your head

[razor23]

The point of the post in the context of the thread is that we can eat socially without putting on weight if we our to mind to it

If you had any clue about weight loss you would know that it's impossible to over eat and not put on weight, therefore I HAD to be eating at a deficit to lose weight...I was merely giving an example for the OP sorry if it went over your head

lol, yea, no clue about losing weight at all. I'm just a fat bastard trolling these forums. Sorry man, you're obviously very smart and always right...and you'll insult anyone who disagrees into submission. /argument (at least on my part)

[modpeach]

I've been wondering lately what it means to "make fitness a part of your lifestyle" too, as if it becomes automatic or thoughtless. Because it seems like a pretty effortful choice, every day (to me). There are ALWAYS more pressing short-term obligations, always reasons not to go to the gym, and always reasons to have a "cheat day" or a "cheat meal". Sure, overall you simply choose to make your fitness goal a priority - but it's a NEW SET OF CHOICES every day. Not just some mindless habit that you pick up. Maybe I haven't been at it long enough?

Either way - the more energy I put into it, the more I rationally don't want to lose on those investments, so I stick to it. Thinking of it that way works for me.