Need help getting over fear of going to the gym

[TRG1]

I know the title sounds silly but bear with me here...

In my 21 years on this earth I've done a lot of things and have confidence in a lot of areas, but one aspect about myself that I've never been confident about is my weight/lack of muscle. I know I have the time and motivation to change this, but the issue is that I've never lifted at a gym a single time my whole life. The one time I did lift was in high school after P.E. and I remember making a complete fool of myself trying to bench press.

Because of this I'm extremely paranoid about going to a gym for the first time and looking like a fish out of water. I'm paranoid that people are going to look at me funny because of how skinny I am or because of how messed up my technique is, I'm paranoid that I'll somehow make a fool of myself because of my lack of lifting experience, but most of all I'm paranoid about somehow injuring myself since I've never squatted/bench pressed/dead lifted a single time in my life.

I really wish I had a friend that was experienced with lifting so he could show me the ropes for a the first week or so... but unfortunately most of them are either away in college or don't lift at all.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Polloloko]

I know this feeling. I dont go to a gym but i work out at home. Now, i didnt know what to do. But i found a nice application on my iphone called fitness buddy. Try it out!

[lmnop07]

Dealing with gym intimidation:

youtube.com/watch?v=zFhuh76KYSg

lemme know if this helps at all

[DanLimitless]

There's nothing to be afriad of in a gym.

People are just there to better themselves and are almost always far too interested in doing their own thing to be caring what you're doing. The internet is your friend in this instance. Research the basics of weight lifting and get started! It's fun!

[joncortez1986]

One time in weightlifting class, my coach had us doing crunches and I farted in front of two of the hottest girls in school.
I still talked to one of them afterward. She said it was kinda gross but funny at the same time.

I would read about work outs in the forums and google search for books or youtube search for beginners workouts.

As far as weight goes, I think the rule is to work your way up. So, I usually try 10-12 reps per set with a low weight.
If it is easy, then up the weight some. If you can't lift it more than 3-5 times, I would say that is too much weight.
try to find that balance. Either way you will be sore. Eat good, stay hydrated, get some protien, take your vitamins, stretch, and get rest.

Try again when you are ready.

Whenever I go into the gym, I do not look pumped at all if I have just been chillin' with my family or something.
You only really start to see definition when you workout.

Personally, my desire to gain muscle overpowers my "I wonder what they think about me".
If it is a pretty girl, it might briefly cross my mind but, I'm at the gym because I have goals to be stronger.

I remind myself that the world doesn't revolve around me. Even if I am in the middle of a roomful of people, it's just me and the weight.
The weight wont lie to you. It has no ego. It is your best friend.

I hope this helps.

[SJamZ]

I used to suffer from this but trust me.. Once you've been three or four times you'll start to realise that no one really gives a **** how you look..

If it helps, get a PT to work with you until you feel comfortable but be careful because the majority of them don't have a clue what they're doing either haha

Just go with a set routine and roll with it.. Having no routine leads to wandering around the gym aimlessly between the machines looking incredibly awkward

[michael.woodcum]

When I first started going to the gym, I joined a 24 hour gym and would go late at night when it was empty. This allowed me to learn how to use different equipment, proper form with weight I could use to be safe and not have to worry about what someone thought when they saw me benching 95 lbs.

We all have to start some where and for me, doing my first two years in that environment really allowed me to gain confidence and when I moved to my current gym, one of those "typical" gyms that is packed with meat heads, I knew how to correctly conduct my lifts and was doing so with a respectable weight.

[SugarFree1]

Go to Planet Fitness, its a judgement free zone

Seriously though your fear is not uncommon. Most people have a fear of going to the gym and looking the fool specially when out of shape and not knowing what to do. I dislike going to public gyms myself but for different reasons and instead workout at home. Whether your workout at home or at a gym I would suggest starting with a personal trainer. Not only will they show you the how to properly perform the exercises it will be someone there with you to guide you though the gym till you get used to it.

[Tessee]

I used to have this issue too.. Not the form as such. I just felt intimidated (I was a lot bigger than I used to be having not long had a baby) I had just moved from a smaller gym to a huge busy one, which was full of competitive body builders at the only time of night I could get there.. And here was unfit me with all my post baby weight and huge muscle loss. So at the start , despite what i knew i should be Doing in my head, I would just wonder around aimlessly looking awkward, feeling awkward with no program (as mentioned above) I knew what I wanted to do .. I had a program.. But I didn't follow it because I wasn't confident enough to just stroll on in amongst the tanks and grab what I want, and do the exercises I wanted to do in the designated area. It was just so full of fit people. I actually did this for a good month or two.. Biggest waste of time. Minimum results. I was starting to not enjoy my gym time (and I'm normally a gym junkie) .. Then one day not too long ago something just came over me and I found my confidence and strolled on into the weights room.. Grabbed a barbell and swung it up over my head. Got the feeling everyone was looking at me but it was all in my head.. Everyone's just worried about what they're doing themselves they're not judging your every move. Now I am confident to do what I like during my gym time. I respect peoples space. They respect mine. I follow a program off here actually and am finally getting the results I was aiming for If you don't challenge yourself, you won't change yourself. That doesn't just go for lifting either. You need the confidence to do these things. And if you don't have it (I sure didn't) fake it till you make it (I did haha! ) now it's all the normal. And as said above if your worried about your form, look up vids or get a good pt to show you the ropes.. They genuinely attempt to write you up a program and go through it when you first join anyway best of luck

[Zake197]

Everyone has to start somewhere. I was like you in the beginning. but have I realized that no one it looking at you. They are too focused on what they're doing to worry about how you look. I would suggest watch some how-to videos and go to gym with light weight to practice form first. If you aren't used to lifting, even with light weight you should make some progress.

[TRG1]

Wow I'm overwhelmed with all of these positive responses! Thanks a ton everyone I guess I am too concerned with what everyone else will think of me.

Unfortunately I can't afford a personal trainer so I'll just have to study up on lifting techniques on my own. Starting out by going late at night is also a great idea since there won't be as many people. First couple of trips will be dedicated to making sure my technique is okay by lifting light... Who knows maybe I'll get lucky and find someone who will be willing to make sure my technique is okay.

Thanks again everyone you all have been a huge help!

[robbcayman]

If someone is concerned with how you look or what they are doing then they are lame. I could care less of what people think of me. I work out in a massive gym with tons of people and pay little attention to any of them. Just get your feet wet and in a few months you will start to notice results and gain even more confidence about yourself. Again, don't worry what others think of you in the gym or out of it. Life is short, be bold.

[Hoop_Dreams]

Today at the gym I saw an overweight chick come up to the weights section, do one set of leg curls and then leave.

It saddened me to see her leave so quickly because chances are she's in the same situation as you. New to lifting, and unsure of how to do exercises, or intimated by the gym atmosphere.

It pains me because I saw this person who is obviously motivated to make a change in her life, but she just didn't know how to go about doing it. I used do be in that same boat. When I started off lifting I would only go at 1 AM because I was so self-conscious.

Have a plan. Having a program will give you the confidence of knowing what to do while you're in the gym so you're not the person who wanders around doing random exercises. Youtube is your friend for learning how to perform exercises correctly. I still youtube some exercises from time to time when I'm looking to add stuff to my routine. The search engine here on bb.com's forums are helpful as well.

Going into the gym without a program is like trying to reach a destination with no map. It'll put your mind at ease knowing, "Ok, I have to do this exercise for x amount of sets, then this exercise, then this, etc... and then I'm finished."

Last thing I want to add is that all of the "regulars" who you think are judging you are probably thinking in their heads "hey, good for him/her", and not looking at you negatively. We all started somewhere. And from my experience, some of the biggest dudes in the gym are also the nicest people you can meet as well.

[817TexasBrah]

Don't worry about what others think. They were just like you at one time. Get to the gym now. Lift light to get the motions down. Youtube videos are your friends. Do it.

[Enty]

just like any other fear you just gotta face it directly and go in the gym everyday, in a few weeks you'll look back and lol that you were ever worried about it. research form online and watch other people in the gym, & most people should respect you for being in there and trying to make a change

if it really remains a problem, ask for a personal trainer for a week or two. they can set you up with a basic routine, proper form, how all the equipment works, etc.

[rayallenscalves]

Wow I'm overwhelmed with all of these positive responses! Thanks a ton everyone I guess I am too concerned with what everyone else will think of me.

Unfortunately I can't afford a personal trainer so I'll just have to study up on lifting techniques on my own. Starting out by going late at night is also a great idea since there won't be as many people. First couple of trips will be dedicated to making sure my technique is okay by lifting light... Who knows maybe I'll get lucky and find someone who will be willing to make sure my technique is okay.

Thanks again everyone you all have been a huge help!

bro you're 6'2.. you shouldnt be intimidated by what most gym goers think because you can look down at them. good luck, in due time you'll be addicted to lifting.

[sshock11]

bro you're 6'2.. you shouldnt be intimidated by what most gym goers think because you can look down at them. good luck, in due time you'll be addicted to lifting.

Used to be the same years ago. Nobody pays attention to you. Your there for yourself and no one else. Once the gains and strength start coming you'll want people to notice.

[ImplicitNone]

Get a workout program that suits you, get your form right by watching form videos on youtube etc, and go in early in the morning- pretty much everything you need

[Kraster]

brb deadlifting 150kg, squatting 120kg but benching barely 50kg because of phucked up shoulder I'm rehabing now. But not a single phuk was given. You go to the gym and do what you have to do to improve yourself, how you look in the process is irrelevant. I'd probably never be able to rehab the shoulder and strengthen the back if I didn't start doing reverse flies with JUST MY ARM WEIGHT ALONE. srs, just sitting on the bench hunched over, only flailing my arms to the side with no weight and struggling. struggling with 5kg on the reverse flies machine. u mirin? now I'm up to more weights, but still if I gave a damn of what others thought of me doing my impressive bodyweight reverse flies I'd never get the weight up or injure myself further

also the internet, youtube and bb.com are great places to read on proper form for most exercises and already come into the gym with a proper and finished routine so you don't just randomly just on every machine that you see

[devilsrule61287]

I remember going to the gym and trying bench press for first time. Had 95 lbs on there and failed on the very first rep. Big gym dude comes over and gets bar off me, sees how upset I was, and tells me to start light and stick with it.

So I listened to him. Kept coming back, starting light in everything, but learning and improving. I realized quickly that no one cares how light you at lifting. They are in their own zone doing their own thing. And if anything, people admire persistence and dedication, regardless of where you are starting from.

[NickKurtzahn]

I am doing the 100k challenge, and in 1/8 weeks I have lost 13 lbs and gained muscle, so even more lbs of fat. I go to the gym every night and have only gone 1 day w/o it, and I will tell you that there is nothing to be afraid of. A good 1/10 of them were fatter than me, and I was 6"1.5 and 246 lbs. Now I am 233, but I look pretty similar. My point is, there is nothing to be afraid of, and whenever I saw a fat person working hard, I would look at them and be proud of them, never thought any other way. Never feel like they are laughing at you, people are fat and people are skinny, if you want to become skinny then people that like to work out won't go against it. Always start somewhere.

[tomnr100]

From what I can read you seem to be rather insecure, although intelligent.
There's not a single person who started out with the experience of a professional bodybuilder.

Contact one of the personal trainers, they'll help you out with the execution of the exercises.

[duck1dong]

Keep in mind that people will want to assess you even if you are strong. This never goes away. When I was repping 500 lbs on deadlifts, guys would want to comment/fight me because I was stronger than them. In a physical arena it is only normal that many people have no manners but instead act like animals, either covertly, or overtly. People really only care about themselves and make give you attention briefly but then their attention is elsewhere. I dont care to deal with this anymore, and that is partly why I quit going to gyms. Most of the time it is overpriced, or I simply dont care for the atmosphere. Places like a crossfit gym are appealing, but not the $250/month required. So I just lift at home. Keep in mind if you have a barbell and some weights you can get very very strong with no gym required. And working on olympic lifts you shouldnt be maxing out instead working on technique. My wife and daughter both commented about how laughable my 75 lb weights used to train the snatch are, considering I rep 155 on barbell curls and can barbell row 295 with good form. I would rather be humble and learn the lift properly rather than hurting myself though. I leave my ego out of the equation when I exercise. I am more concerned with doing things properly than whether says I am weak or strong. How is repping 295 really any different than 225 on a squat if the 225 is a safer technique? Am I going to pay the mortgage faster repping 300 lbs? Perhaps an irrelevant point, and demonstrates exactly how irrelevant perceptions of other people are with regards to what you are doing.

[Darkman006]

Usually what works with most people is bring some kind of music player, mp3 or ipod, or smartphone with music on it, pop in headphones and do whatever workouts you learned ignoring everyone else around you. Most people won't say anything as I've learned and only times they might talk to you is if your done with whatever your are using. I've learned most of my exercises from looking them up on Youtube. If you get a membership, most gyms will allow you a "trainer" for a day to show you around the machines. Although most of the machines are self explanatory.

[Silentpoet]

I have fear or laziness each day. Some days are worse than others. Even lifting at home I still have to make myself do it and go down to the basement gym to actually lift. We all have fears, even with some experience. I have learned as I grow older to care less and less what most others think of me. To be honest most people are self centered and not really thinking about you. And if they look down on you because you are a beginner, it is because they are *******s. And their opinions don't matter. You are worth so much more than what they think. Get in there and work hard.

[TRG1]

UPDATE

So I recently found a local World Gym Express (24 hr/7 days a week) that's around $24 per month and I plan on going for the first time later tonight, probably around 11-12ish when it's not as crowded. Needless to say I'm nervous as hell but at the same time I'm excited to make the first step of my transformation!

If anyone's wondering the workout program I'll be sticking to is the "Simple Beginner's Routine" I found here on BB. Seems simple yet effective.

Everyone keeps saying I should go in with a plan so here it is:
1) Pay for a 1 month membership (duh)
2) Ask how much a 1 to 2 hour session with a personal trainer would cost
3) Scout the area a bit to see what kinds of machines and equipment they have and figure out where they're located
4) Hop on the treadmill to warm up and get some cardio in
5) Practice proper form for squatting (2 sets of 10 first set w/ bar only then 2nd w/ light weights...keep doing more sets and adding weight if I'm feeling comfortable)
6) Same as above but for bench presses
7) Same as above but for barbell curls
8) Same as above but for calf raises
9) Back to the treadmill to cool down

Hopefully I'll be able to find an affordable PT to teach me proper form on Bent-Over Rows, Overhead Barbell Presses, and Stiff-Legged Deadlifts. The rest of the exercises seem simple enough to execute on my own.

All I'll be bringing is a towel, my phone, and a pair of earbuds for some tunes. My overall goal for the night is to leave the gym with a membership, a decent workout, and new found confidence in myself. GL to me!

[Muchano]

Hey OP, it's all good brah.
Look at my AVI. I'm a borderline fat chit, but that doesn't stop me.

The more you put yourself out there the easier it becomes. It takes practice OP, don't get me wrong. The beginning is also the hardest.

As a 21 year old with multiple things weighing me down, i'd say you're in a grand position to become the GOAT. You got this brah.

[DarkSideHome]

Things that helped me overcome my shame (more than fear) for being over over over obese when I started:

-Timing: I go to the gym in the morning at 5:30AM. The crowd that goes to the gym in the morning (or any non-peak time really) are on average better athletes and tend to give help and tips more freely, and you won't feel so many eyes on you. Seeing the same faces day after day for weeks helps a lot.

-Acceptance: Accept your limits and realize there is not shame in them. The guy benching 400 started the same as you. I used to have problems benching an empty bar for 10 reps. No shame in that, build up your stamina and strength slowly

-Ask for assistance: This is the hardest part (considering my shame). This might be a personal trainer, a friend or a gym goer that you see every time and is friendly enough. This will make socializing easier and give a different mood to your gym trips.

-No one is looking: Trust me, almost every one is busy with their own routine and real life problems. They are not there to gawk at you.

[livin101]

OP, just go in the gym and don't worry about what others think.

If you really want to know what people think about, explore this whole forum! You got shredded people who think they are too small, overweight people who want to be average, average people who want advice, new people just getting started, old veterans learning new things and so on.

Point is, even the most experienced people here are trying to overcome some kind of a goal.

Now set your first goal of going into the gym with confidence! Once you reach that goal, set another by learning correct form. Then keep setting goals and reaching them. This (to me) is really the one and ONLY "secret" to weight training.

[Nicod3mus]

Honestly I wouldn't try to go to the gym late or early based on not seeing people. You should go when it fits into your schedule increasing the chances that you can form some good habits that last. You will feel intimidated that just life... we all have to overcome our fears. Focus on forming a habit and just go. Put it out of your mind and make a lifestyle change. Bite the bullet man... don't put off your fears... take them head on and make a positive change.

I get intimidated all the time, everyone does. I surfed as a kid and went last summer and I am absolutely horrible.. I never went again because I was so bad it was embarrassing. I have absolutely made up my mind to take some surf lessons and just get out there and spend the time in the water this summer. I have set my mind to it and I will do it.

Overcome don't run from it. Do it for you not anyone else. Get it.