Anorexic Male On Road To Recovery 45kg Bulking Blog.

[danny2027]

Anorexic Male On Road To Recovery 45kg Bulking Blog.
Hi I Am Danny 23 And Trying To Recover From Anorexia.
Currently 45kg.
At my worst i was 5ft 7in and 40kg.
Admitted to hospital by gp.under the mental health act.at the age of 18.
My bmi was 14 and my body was starting to shut down.
I now want to stop the nasty thoughts in my head limiting what i eat.
And reach a goal i can be proud of.
I shall post pictures of myself.
I know its going to take sometime but hopefully i can inspire some others out there.
That suffer with anorexia that you can beat it.
If anyone has anything they want to ask me about what happened to me
or need any help with there battle ask me.

[danny2027]

My target each day is 2500 calories per day iifym based diet.

[Gudino95]

Innn. Your gonna make it

[danny2027]

Yesterdays Eats.
Breakfast 3 weetabix 250 calories a banana 100 calories and protein shake 350 calories 700 Total
Lunch 150g chicken breast 250 calories baked beans 200g 200 calories mixed veg 50 calories glass of milk 200 calories. Total 700
Snack Protein Bar 200 Calories.
Dinner 150g chicken breast 250 calories baked beans 200g 200 calories mixed veg 50 Total 500
Late Night Meal. 2 weetabix 170 calories with chocolate ice cream 100 calories and protein shake 350 calories.

[danny2027]

Innn. Your gonna make it

Cheers Mate I Really Appreciate The Support.

[danny2027]

Right i suffered from anorexia/bulimia when i was 17 and was like this for about 2 years on and off getting help etc in hospitals its a horrible thing to go through and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy my weight at my worst was 40kg and 5 foot 7 when i was admitted.im now 23 and i have slipped back to 45kg and have no interest in life or eating and still run everyday.i had got my self better and had packed muscle on i was about 9 stone 5 and happier a year ago.not cured but happier and dealing with it.
I know iv got a problem again and its like a little voice inside my head saying don't eat that it will make you fat i don't know what to do people at work are noticing i have no energy again and i am aggravated very easily all the time iv hit rock bottom almost i am running on empty and feel very weak but cant seam to shift it.
Has anyone got any advice or been through something like this,also when i eat anything i cant eat much because my stomach has shrunk again,please any meal plans of what to eat would be very much appreciated.if you get time please read my story.
When i was 16 i started losing weight while playing football,at the time i was a good football player but very unfit so i started running 3 times a week,changed my diet not to much still had takeaway on friday night or saturday and just ate well beans on toast for breakfast or branflakes to start,

and before football matches would have a massive bowl of porridge with bananas before the games bran flakes with milk before training etc,i was playining awesome and everyone was commenting on how good i looked and how fit i was.i had gone from 13 stone to about 10stone around abouts im 5 foot 7 so it was perfect for my age and i was really happy i had mates a good job my life was where i wanted it to be i was happy,

when i was about 17 6 months later after being named player of the year at football my diet and running went out of control i dropped from 65kg to 40kg in about 3 months i wasent eating and was doing daily 3-5 mile runs it was effecting my work and was let go about 2 months into this rapid weight loss,losing my job just made me feel worthless although i sort of knew why they had let me go i just felt so unwanted and wanted to shut myself way from the world,

My mates stopped calling around for me in the end ,due to the fact when they used to come round and say you coming out i would either hide because i was proberly thinking or making my tea at the time or tell my sister to tell them i was out and they new i was lieing maybe the thought i just dident want to be mates with them because since then im 23 now they havent called me since.anyways,

Back to where i was i would get up for breakfast and weigh out 30g of rice krsipies and some milk and eat it but spit it out well most of it then get rid of the excess food into the bin later,then go for a run,absolutley shattered id come back and just think about my dinner so much then id get it sit down to eat it and eat half but leave the rest and chuck it away same at tea time i would always eat away from my family and pretend i had ate loads and that i was stuffed when id got rid of it into a bag in my room and would dispose of it later,

When my weight was at its worse 7 stone at the start of december 2007 i remember my dad must have gone to the doctors and told them where my weight was and that they where worried about me i was referred to cheadle hospital when we got there i was scared they where going to take me it they did not,i pleaded with my dad and he agreed heartbroken i think that he couldn't do it and i promised to get better at home 2 weeks on i was worse so he went to the doctors and the doctor refereed my to chorley hospital ,

Id had tests done before this so the doctor knew that i was bad also id been hospitalized after waking up with kidney stones and they wanted to keep me in then because they where concerned about my weight that was in November my weight was properly 7 stone 5 at a guess at that point but again i kicked off and after staying 2 night went home.

Anyways i was admitted to chorley hospital mental health unit the day i went in 3 doctor came to my house to take me away i remember them standing behind my bedroom door asking if they could come in and i was like no go away i did consider jumping out of the window and running away but dident i bottled it even if i had there was 2 other people stood outside as well so you can see how bad it had got really,

So i got changed and they explained where they where taking me a remember saying to my dad what have you done to me u b******d and got into the car i remember eating a pizza and chips before i left the house king of my way to try and show them i was OK when i wasent,

When we got to chorley we waited in the waiting room my dad and me sat there in total silence there where other patients there just sat with there families,

Then a person from the unit came and took me to look around and explain who everyone was and where i was going to sleep.

The unit was full of older patients and i was given my own room in the room was one window which was locked and bed and cupboard for my toiletries and a wardrobe for my clothes etc so i put my belongings in from my black bag and went out to say bye to my dad he said he would come back and visit me with my mum at 6 at night visiting time OK i said and started crying as he left he was in floods of tears also that when it hit me like an express train i needed to change this,

at around 5 pm it was dinner time so we where all got together and walked down to the canteen

I will never forget this meal it was mash potatoes and sausage with gravy and vegetables well that's what i chose there where a few options but this was something i had when i was a child mash potatoes and the sausages headhogs i used to call them don't ask,i gulped it down like i had not eaten in weeks i had not obviously and for dessert i had bread and butter pudding and custard it was gorgeous and was stuffed for obvious reasons my stomach had shrunk a lot.

When we got back my mum dad and sister had come to see me i cried a lot and so did my mum and sister i said sorry and that i was going to sort it out i asked them to bring me some American cookies from Morrison the big ones white chocolate and doughnuts from greggs the iced ring ones i dont know why i just craved them,

Every day was the same wake up breakfast i had cornflakes with sugar and 2 weetabix seems a weird combination but this is what a guy gave me the first night i was in there when i said i was hungry at night he did it with warmed milk and it just seems really nice so i kept having it also i would get 2 slices of toast sometimes 4 with butter and eat it

Dinner more of the same whatever i chose eg curry and chips or something like that i ate it and you got a dessert as well always something with custard or ice cream,

for tea it was sometime pizza veg shepherds pie fish and chips or something like that and desert if you wanted they always had jelly on offer but i never had it i always had something with custard for some reason.

in between all these meals they would give me an ensure plus drink packing 400 calories into a 300ml carton they tasted like whole milk x 3 in flavors strawberry chocolate banana fruits of the Forrest etc sometime i really had to drink it and force it down but i always finished them even if i was nearly gagging,

i also ate cookies chocolate bars anything i could get my hands on snack wise i just wanted to get out for Christmas that was my goal

after 2 weeks they let me go home i had gone from 7 stone if not a bit less to 8 stone in just under 2 weeks they where impressed and so where my family i was on the road to recovery i knew i had to eat and was relived,

we got home and it was about December 17th 2007 or something i i continued to eat normally and eventually got my weight up to 9 stone and was kind of happier in my life again,

after Christmas i got a job when i turned 18 in a bookies and tried to get on with my life but i always had the thoughts.

I have been in this job for 4 years now and i shall start part 2 soon.

Thank you for reading my story so far.

[danny2027]

Had my first takeaway in months last night just need to get these thoughts out of my head really hard but trying so much to beat this.

[health4life24]

I myself have battled anorexia, and I applaud you for making the decision to recover and regain control of your life. Keep up the great work bud.

[danny2027]

I myself have battled anorexia, and I applaud you for making the decision to recover and regain control of your life. Keep up the great work bud.

Can i ask if you dont mind what steps you took to recover and what kind of stuff you started to eat.
can you give me a sample meal plan and how many calories you ate each day in recovery how fast did you gain weight in recovery and did you work out during this time thanks in advance.

[health4life24]

Can i ask if you dont mind what steps you took to recover and what kind of stuff you started to eat.
can you give me a sample meal plan and how many calories you ate each day in recovery how fast did you gain weight in recovery and did you work out during this time thanks in advance.

What I ate and the amount of calories I ate does not apply to you because we are two different people. I wanted to gain healthy weight and gain it at a healthy pace so what I did is start lifting and eating in a surplus. By surplus I mean eating more calories then I expend. In terms of recovery you have to individualize it to suit the person who is trying to recover. Everyone's recovery process is different.

Are you currently working with any professionals to assist you in your recovery?

Also, if you ever feel you need to vent or are in need of some support and advice, feel free to post in the Eating Disorder Support Thread.

Just click on the blue words above and it will direct you to the thread.

[danny2027]

[QUOTE=health4life24;1191012441]What I ate and the amount of calories I ate does not apply to you because we are two different people. I wanted to gain healthy weight and gain it at a healthy pace so what I did is start lifting and eating in a surplus. By surplus I mean eating more calories then I expend. In terms of recovery you have to individualize it to suit the person who is trying to recover. Everyone's recovery process is different.

Are you currently working with any professionals to assist you in your recovery?
Yes i have been seeing different doctors for a few years now been in hospital for anorexia a few times i recovered and relapsed again like i put in my story i just feel so worthless at times like i would be better of not being here.
i suffer from ocd depression and anxiety also my mum is my rock and i live for her if she had not have been there supporting me all this time i definitely would not be here today im sure of it.

[health4life24]

I deal with depression to, so I understand the difficulty. Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk privately.

[XCRunner9]

Will read your struggles soon, but you're going to make it.

Going through anorexia as well, but took the initiative to get healthy and haven't looked back since. Just going to tell you there will be times that you'll take a step back, but to get stronger you have to overcome that step back and move forward.

GL on your journey. Wish you the best of luck.

[SuperHippo]

in,

[jbu22]

in and I also dealt with anorexia.
good luck on your journey. any questions feel free to ask

[danny2027]

in and I also dealt with anorexia.
good luck on your journey. any questions feel free to ask

Thank you for your support i really am going to try to beat this.

[danny2027]

A long road ahead but hopefully i can get my head straight and eat normally again and stop worrying about food anyone got any meal plans which might be useful to me i find i get full very fast and get stomach pains now when i think about eating food i think i have forgotten what proper hunger pains actually feel like to be honest crazy as it sounds but its true.

[danny2027]

What calories would you recommend to eat per day i am 5ft 7in and 45kg at the moment i want to gain lean if i can.

[MikeTheBiceps]

What calories would you recommend to eat per day i am 5ft 7in and 45kg at the moment i want to gain lean if i can.

Just build your cals up slowly, if you gain weight keep hitting that same number if you stoped gaining up your cals again. Goodluck mate

[Coreyoki]

Good luck bro, your gonna make it

[jbu22]

What calories would you recommend to eat per day i am 5ft 7in and 45kg at the moment i want to gain lean if i can.

just eat enough to continue gaining about a pound a week. up calories whenever your gains stop. I would recommend that you see a nutritionist.

[sonnydfrizzy]

IN! Log into my log I am on my way to recovery as well man..

[XCRunner9]

What calories would you recommend to eat per day i am 5ft 7in and 45kg at the moment i want to gain lean if i can.

Wouldn't be too concerned about caloric intake in your state. I found it was pointless and detrimental to my weight gain goals when I became a perfectionist with my caloric intake for weight gain. Then again, if it ensures you're eating enough to fuel yourself, then by all means do so.

[MikeTheBiceps]

How is it going btw?

[XCRunner9]

Bump, concerned on how you're dealing with the E.D.

[danny2027]

Added my current weight and picture 90lbs and 5ft 7in.

[MikeTheBiceps]

Added my current weight and picture 90lbs and 5ft 7in.

Your half way keep going

[danny2027]

Had lots to eat tonight felt abit better eating going for a full pizza tomorrow night and then cookies with ice cream for afterwards i so want to beat this i feel so weak.

[Tardham]

Rooting for you, Danny!

[danny2027]

Had a bad day yesterday shaking for most of the day feel so weak no energy tired all the time all food is making me feel sick just thinking about it when i put food in my mouth my stomach just starts hurting.
Sounds really stupid but its my mind also telling me this i think also im on tablets to help so hope they do something soon.