BF moving across country for job.(srs)

[ATriscuit]

Cliffs:
- dating for 2 years, living together for 1.5 years
- BF gets dream job across the country. I just started a fantastic job in NY.
- BF wants to move and me to go with him
- Don't want to leave new job or family
- Not sure relationship would survive long distance bc I feel like our relationship is primarily based on doing things and experiencing things together not so much 3 hour intellectual phone conversations.


Any advice?

[Boffothe]

Value these 2 years, help him pack his stuff, shake hands, and move on.

[Amazeme]

- Don't want to leave new job or family

well there you go.

dumb american bishes put careers in front of their relationship and then they wonder why they have to invest in cats when they hit the wall. sucks to be brainwashed OP

[brehbrah]

If you don't want to make sacrifice and move with him, then he should break up with you and find someone willing to support him achieve his dreams.

srs

[FU3L]

If you're not willing to re-locate you're at a bit of an impasse here. You can:

A) Go with him
B) Break up
C) Try long distance (almost inevitably bound to fail)

[ATriscuit]

well there you go.

dumb american bishes put careers in front of their relationship and then they wonder why they have to invest in cats when they hit the wall. sucks to be brainwashed OP

I left a position and was unemployed and looking for 5 months. It's not easy out there job wise. After just starting a position I really enjoy, it's hard to think about starting over again.

[Amazeme]

I left a position and was unemployed and looking for 5 months. It's not easy out there job wise. After just starting a position I really enjoy, it's hard to think about starting over again.

then why the fuk would you make this thread? so you can get people's validation? bish take your own decisions and own up to them.

[ATriscuit]

If you don't want to make sacrifice and move with him, then he should break up with you and find someone willing to support him achieve his dreams.

srs

At some point you do have to think about what's best for you as well. I do fully support him regardless of what state I'm in.

[ATriscuit]

then why the fuk would you make this thread? so you can get people's validation? bish take your own decisions and own up to them.

Validation? I asked for advice on what people would do if they were in my position.

[brehbrah]

At some point you do have to think about what's best for you as well. I do fully support him regardless of what state I'm in.

Support as in "i support you" "i hope you do what you want to do" "i'll always be there to support you"

or do you mean actually supporting him by helping him achieve his goals?

[Amazeme]

Validation? I asked for advice on what people would do if they were in my position.

so you take a decision, but then you decide you will make a thread, clearly stating your decision and saying you will not change it, so you can know which decision people would take in your position?

why does it matter again?

[ATriscuit]

so you take a decision, but then you decide you will make a thread, clearly stating your decision and saying you will not change it, so you can know which decision people would take in your position?

why does it matter again?

My question was related to should I be considering trying long distance anyway or am I a complete bitch for not dropping everything and moving across the country.

[ATriscuit]

Support as in "i support you" "i hope you do what you want to do" "i'll always be there to support you"

or do you mean actually supporting him by helping him achieve his goals?

Really good questions and really hit home. Thanks

[Lunu]

His dream job? I'd move with him. I think that anyone that truly loved their partner would?

[Amazeme]

My question was related to should I be considering trying long distance anyway

no

or am I a complete bitch for not dropping everything and moving across the country.

okay i'll give you advice then, make sure you understand it : time is your worse enemy.

[modernsuperman]

His dream job? I'd move with him. I think that anyone that truly loved their partner would?

This^

[ATriscuit]

His dream job? I'd move with him. I think that anyone that truly loved their partner would?

If I could pay bills with love I would. Ideally, I would want a job before I moved anywhere so I wouldn't have to solely rely on others.

[Igmann]

You could just move with him. New York's a pretty good place to live if the income is there.

[ATriscuit]

You could just move with him. New York's a pretty good place to live if the income is there.

We live in NY currently, the position is across the country.

[Lunu]

If I could pay bills with love I would. Ideally, I would want a job before I moved anywhere so I wouldn't have to solely rely on others.

Life isn't always ideal though. Does he have the ability/offered to support you while you find a new job when you move? Have you looked into the job market over there? Do you have any savings or can you sell something you own to assist in the move? How important the relationship is to you is directly related to how hard you will try to make it work. It doesn't really sound like it's that important to you to be honest...

[modernsuperman]

If I could pay bills with love I would. Ideally, I would want a job before I moved anywhere so I wouldn't have to solely rely on others.

I'm assuming he'd pay the bills until you find something. Your being selfish, and by no means am I saying that's bad! But if you loved this guy you'd move.

[ATriscuit]

Life isn't always ideal though. Does he have the ability/offered to support you while you find a new job when you move? Have you looked into the job market over there? Do you have any savings or can you sell something you own to assist in the move? How important the relationship is to you is directly related to how hard you will try to make it work. It doesn't really sound like it's that important to you to be honest...

After being unemployed for 5 months, I don't have the savings to buy out our current lease and pack up and move.

I just started my new position after being unemployed for a while. It takes a toll on you not only financially but also when it comes to your emotional self worth as a functioning person in society.

I don't want to put myself in that position where I would have to rely on him financially again because I decided to move without a job.

[Maverick77]

He's your boyfriend, not fiancé or husband. Always put yourself first and don't take relationships so seriously, when they aren't yet. He's asking you to move to the other side of the country, he should be offering some sort of commitment (engagement).

Whats the job anyway?

[ezjax]

After being unemployed for 5 months, I don't have the savings to buy out our current lease and pack up and move.

I just started my new position after being unemployed for a while. It takes a toll on you not only financially but also when it comes to your emotional self worth as a functioning person in society.

I don't want to put myself in that position where I would have to rely on him financially again because I decided to move without a job.

But he is asking you to.. You don't love him.. If my wife got a movie role in la which is her dream I would quit my 100k+ a year job to support her dream.. My job is not my dream job it's just money and it's replaceable.. My relationship with her is irreplaceable.

Think of it that way..

Is your job irreplaceable?
Is your relationship irreplaceable? Of it is not you don't love him..

And don't give me that self pity self worth garbage.. Money isn't everything and if it defines who you are you need therapy.. Oh yeah and he asked you to move! Stop making excuses be honest with yourself..

You don't want to start a life with him because you are too attached to your family and your life in New York and you don't believe you will spend your life with him.

I'm in queens ny and it's rough.. But I would love to get out and never come back

[PotatosGonPotat]

Cliffs:
- dating for 2 years, living together for 1.5 years
- BF gets dream job across the country. I just started a fantastic job in NY.
- BF wants to move and me to go with him
- Don't want to leave new job or family
- Not sure relationship would survive long distance bc I feel like our relationship is primarily based on doing things and experiencing things together not so much 3 hour intellectual phone conversations.


Any advice?

lol find a new boyfriend

[Amazeme]

But he is asking you to.. You don't love him.. If my wife got a movie role in la which is her dream I would quit my 100k+ a year job to support her dream.. My job is not my dream job it's just money and it's replaceable.. My relationship with her is irreplaceable.

wow you're a retard

you bring us red a bad name.

[Lunu]

wow you're a retard

you bring us red a bad name.

This is why you are red.

[Amazeme]

This is why you are red.

if i have to explain why he is wrong you will make me cut myself at the amount of delusion you guys are capable of.

[Boffothe]

Value these 2 years, help him pack his stuff, shake hands, and move on.



Value these 2 years, help him pack his stuff, shake hands, and move on.



Value these 2 years, help him pack his stuff, shake hands, and move on.



Value these 2 years, help him pack his stuff, shake hands, and move on.

[ezjax]

if i have to explain why he is wrong you will make me cut myself at the amount of delusion you guys are capable of.

Please enlighten me age 22..

Btw my CP is all green besides a mod neg.. That the mod said he would reverse and didn't.