Approached a hbb/10 in the gym (no pics) (fuk me)

[GixxerSixxer]

Welp...story time.

First off, does anyone know how to recover deleted texts off of an iPhone? I deleted the convo out of anger, and I wanted to screenshot them for the story.

Doubt it can be done. But what happened lol

[WeDoPullups]

^Can't even remember what happened now. I pretty much begged her to have sex at one point, I think.


Anyway, fuk that old divorced bitch. I have a major update to this thread after cutting it off with a girl I was talking to for the past month or so.

Let's just say I should have listened to the Misc when many of our fellow members warned us about girls who love horses. They really are absolutely fukked in the head. I am a firm believer after my experiences with this girl over the past 30 days.


The one I walked out on today owns two of them, and she's a co-worker.

Story coming soon. Long day, I'm going to bed.

[A0wner21]

why u got troll us look that

[Oatmeal12]

Cliffs? all I can tell from first and last page is that you started approaching

then you rubbed your genitals on a transexual. lol

[VascularLord]

Then I pointed and said I gotta get your number

"I have a bf"

my voice just locked up and I didn't know what to say, then my brain unfroze and I just blurted out "aw fuk bye"

story of my life

[Lightsoft]

finally OP is going to update us ffs mane. Long enough

[smcampeau]

INnnn

[WeDoPullups]

Welp, let's get started.

I'll start from the beginning then continue on from there with my wonderful, amazing experience(lol sarcasm fuk off lol) over the past month with this girl. I'll try to include as many details as I can, but we did spend a ton of time together so it's gonna be hard to get everything in without tl;dr. Long story short, this bitch turned out to be bat**** insane so it might be worth your time. Don't ever date girls who love horses. I should've listened to the Misc, dead srs.

I also should of listened to the Misc about not dating co-workers....She was a co-worker per-se, seeing that I didn't really interact with her much before we started messing around. She laid low for the most part, and never hangs out with too many people especially from work. She has a small circle of friends, and never goes out to bars which was a plus for me since I'm the same way, but I should not have ignored the Misc's wisdom. I ignored the red flags and continued to follow through with my swinging dick leading the way. She was just another cute face working in the other section of the building until I mustered up the balls to approach and get to know her at a July 4th BBQ. My impression of her at first was far different from what I think of her now after dealing with her bull**** for a month, but I'm glad I had the experience. I definitely learned a few lessons....

TBH I would have never have approached her if it wasn't for one of my m8's egging me on to do it (fuk him right now I hate him so much right now). He wouldn't stop nagging me about it, so I said fuk it. I took a swig of my beer, walked over to where she was sitting, and opened up with a low threat ice breaker. There was no turning back without looking like a pussy, and I would never have heard the end of it if I bitched out after only a few words with her. It didn't help that she was looking sexy as hell that night. She had on some very short jean shorts, a tank top which showed all of her tattoos and some pretty large titties that I never noticed before at work, and her hair was worn down to her lower back. Bitch was lookin fine, a lot better than what she looks like in workplace attire. While I was walking over I was saying to myself, "Yea this girl could really get the peepee." I could feel my weiner slobbering like a bloodhound hot on the trail of an escaped convict. Pussyshank Redemption.

Since I knew very little about her, I had to play it safe. I kept the topics pretty sterile and low-threat, and it seemed to me that we hit it off well. She was very receptive, body language was positive, and to my surprise, we ended up talking and mingling with each other for the rest of the time we were at the party. My buddy who egged me on texted "good job *******" so it was apparent that things looked well between us. Wherever I went, she was next to me, talking and laughing with my friends like she was already my girlfriend. It made me a tad bit uneasy since I wasn't used to this kind of attention, but I hadn't been in a relationship since high school so I played along as best as I could. Inside I was as giddy as Elton John in a dildo testing factory, but on the outside I was the cool chill alpha male who made conversation with everyone. Yea bitch.

Fast forward to the end of the night, she puts her arm around me and asks to drive her up to the stables to feed her horses because she was "drunk" and couldn't drive herself. I could tell she wasn't and I knew she only had 2 beers or so for the entire night, but I sure as hell wasn't gonna call her out on it. She could've also asked any other person at the party to do it, but she chose me. I damn sure didn't mention that either. There was no way I was gonna allow my retard autism brain to jinx this perfect opportunity to get her away from everyone for some 1 on 1 time. And by 1 on 1 time, I mean my penis and her vagina time. This was the chance to escalate physically and seal the deal, So I of course obliged and off we went. Just the two of us heading out to the middle of nowhere just before midnight on USA's birthday. My man-berries were pulsating in anticipation, and I knew that George Washington was looking down upon me that night, knowing I was about to lay down the freedom stick in true American fashion.

After 20 minutes of driving on pitch black 1 lane roads, we pull up to her stall. I smelled fresh hay and horse poop, but I couldn't see a damn thing. Having grown up in the city, I wasn't used to desolate farmland with nothing in site for miles, let alone being out there half past midnight. The only thing keeping me from getting sketched out was the thought of putting my hot dog in her sweet sugar walls at some point in the near future. I stayed strong and continued to keep it cool, hoping this bitch didn't turn out to be some crazy axe murderer with a barn fetish. In the back of my mind, I was hoping she'd at least give me a handjob before she slit my throat so I could get one last nut off before meeting my maker, along with my dog Rudy who died back in 2010. I miss him.

She opened the door to the stable, flicked the light on while I cautiously followed in, continuously watching my 6 waiting for some crazy Texas chainsaw **** to start happening. If Leatherface happened to come out of the corner at that moment in time, I was ready to bargain with the ugly motherfukker like "yo chill fam, lemme hit this real quick I promise I'll let you hit after, just gimme 5 more mins" in hopes that he'd take the deal then make my escape while he was in the pussy with his deformed dink. But to my surprise none that happened and everything was copacetic. No chainsaws in sight.

I meandered around the stall trying to look interested while she got her horses ready for the night. I made sure to not to touch anything because 1)I didn't want to break something and look stupid and 2) just being honest I just fukking hate horses and don't want anything to do with them. I was ready to leave and go to her house as soon I as I walked into the dirty fukkin place. Again, I had to play it cool and seem like I was interested in her nasty fukkin hobby with these dumbass horses. Finally, after a half hour of watching her clean poop and put hay in the horses' trough, she walks back into the stall and takes my hand to pull me close to her. It was as quiet as a mouse while we just stared at each other for a few moments, our faces only an inch away.

"Well are you going to kiss me or not?"

I laugh and press my lips against hers, reaching down for her ass as she tilts her head so I could insert my tongue into her mouth, which turned into heavy petting, and eventually me picking her up and carrying her over to a stack of hay bales where we continued to make out like a bunch of high school teenagers under the bleachers. She starts moving her body up and down against my throbbing babymaker as I lift up her shirt, revealing a beautiful rack with more tats that I didn't see at the party. I go to unbutton her shorts, but right at the moment of truth she pulls my hand away and says "not tonight" with a smirk on her face. Fuk....no pussy tonight.

I was a tad pissed, but we continued to make out and eventually fall asleep on top of each other for an hour or so before we left the stables. I remember eventually getting home around 3am after dropping her off at her place, very content with myself and very hopeful that I would see her again soon. It was a good start, but I was hungry for dat slip n slide and was determined to get it.....to be continued.


Part II - I Dunno About This, But **** It She's Naked Already: Coming soon.

[Lightsoft]

oh fuk in after OP

[WookinPaNub]

You're a talented story teller OP.

[GixxerSixxer]

^co-worker in your occupation, loves horses

Should've seen a goof of any kind coming quick fast and in a hurry brah

[WeDoPullups]

My dick has been doing all the thinking for the past month. Never again m8....

[graymonkey44]

[graymonkey44]

Srsly. I need part 2!!!

[tdmc25]

when a woman says "I have a boyfriend" you say "Cool, he can keep you busy when you're not with me, so here's my number, give me a call when you guys break up".

[Jeremyn87]

Andnowwewait.jpg

[csbrah]

hnnng everytime, would go to colombia just for this

[sa7soon]

Part II - I Dunno About This, But **** It She's Naked Already: Coming soon.

Where's part II, *******! In for crazy horse girl story.

[lucky_l3fty]

holy fk in for part 2 op. pls

[Jeremyn87]

Inafter the crazy sloot impaled OP with dat dere horse dink

[WeDoPullups]

Neg me if I don't deliver by Tuesday night srs. Been slacking on getting part 2 done.

Also got fukkin rekt by 3 girls I approached at a bar in Charlotte, NC who "invited" me to their hotel room.

More on that later.

[BrawnySwoleman]

Neg me if I don't deliver by Tuesday srs. Been slacking on getting part 2 done.

Also got fukkin rekt by 3 girls I approached at a bar in Charlotte, NC who "invited" me to their hotel room.

More on that later.

Was it anything like this?

According to the police report, on Sept. 1, 2011, Enemkpali began exchanging messages with a new ******** friend named “Missy Lee,” who offered to perform oral sex on Enemkpali if he would come over to her house. He told police that after he entered the house through a side door, he saw a figure inside “covered head-to-toe in a blanket,” and the person would not remove the blanket. “Enemkpali stated that he felt uneasy about the situation, so he left,” the report states.

But Enemkpali returned to the house after “Missy Lee” called him and convinced him to come back. When he arrived, the person wearing the blanket still refused to remove it and also refused to turn on the lights. When a cellphone in the room rang, “the screen lit up the room enough to see that the person under the blanket had facial hair,” the report states. Enemkpali said another person had also entered the room.

“Enemkpali stated that he felt that he was being ‘set up’ for a robbery of some type,” the police report states. “Enemkpali stated that fearing for his safety, he then struck the subject in the blanket. Enemkpali stated that after he struck this person, their voice changed to that of a male. Enemkpali stated that he then left the residence through the window.”

http://deadspin.com/report-i-k-enemk...-bl-1726811697

[marcballer37]

Mirin response. Why'd you run off to the locker room though lol

To be amongst the bruhs. Rejection is a bitch, man

[ManuchiaMuscle]

I just read every single post in this thread and it was phenomenal. OP, you are truly a blessing with your writing and a curse with your cringeworthy attempts. All of the posts made me cringe, happy, celebrating, raging hard, felt like I was reading 50 shades (never have, but I imagine this is what it would be like), and so many other emotions.

I honestly thought at first you were a good troll, then I started to think it was copy pasta from Reddit or somewhere. Then, it all made sense with the later stories and ultimately making it. GJDM.

Now I can't pull away from this thread. It feels like picking up on a new TV show and watching the first three seasons out of like seven and you HAVE to have more. Pls respond OP..





Aw fuk bye

[InFlames1990]

Started off cringeworthy but now you're killing it OP. Much progress has been made GJDM

IN

[A0wner21]

Neg me if I don't deliver by Tuesday night srs. Been slacking on getting part 2 done.

Also got fukkin rekt by 3 girls I approached at a bar in Charlotte, NC who "invited" me to their hotel room.

More on that later.

negged cannons getting lubed up

[makingitbraa]

Wtfff Op where is part 2 you *******? Fuuuakk aways leave us hanging

[WeDoPullups]

I promised you *******s a part 2 was gonna be delivered today, so I'm gonna deliver.


Part 2 begins.

A few days passed after that humid July 4th night before we saw each other again. A few texts here and there were sent between us just to feel each other out - a reassurance of sorts to keep the interest going, but nothing more than that. The vibe I was getting was that we were indeed going to see each other again, but both of us were just playing the game of not looking desperate. After all, we were both millenials in the ******** age, in the age of tinder and zoosk, in the age of serial dating with little inhibition. The "3 day rule" was not going to be broken because of some made up fear in the back of our minds - the fear of looking too interested too soon, some bull**** insecurity instilled by the declining society that we live in. It also didn't help that we both worked in the same building, and I was aware that she feigned from relationships with co-workers in the past. But in the end, true human desire will trump all doubts and social constructs. There are few forces in the world that can stop the primal desires of two individuals that have sparked a chemical attraction through sensual, physical touch. A whisper in the ear, a touch there, a gaze into the eyes, and all the bull**** goes out the window. No matter how decrepit and shallow modern dating will become, our deepest primal urges will always remain the same.

We both called each others' bluff and grew tired of the bull**** after 3 days of messaging each other. On July 8th, I was pulling into her driveway when I finally asked if I could come over.

"It's up to you." She replied.

It's funny how you can read so much from a person through just a few words on a tiny electronic screen - we both knew we wanted more, it wasn't easy to hide. She put the ball in my field to make an easy play, and I decided to swing for the fences. Any kind of patience and restraint was pushed out of the way by not just my desperation, but hers as well. She was a girl that rarely went out, had few friends, and found solace in her isolation by spending hours at the stables with her horses. Not to mention, she came from a broken family in some small Ohio town I couldn't find on a map. Her real father never gave two fu*ks about her, had an abusive step-father, and her mother made sure to get all of her children out of the house as soon as she legally could.

As for the source of my desperation....well you already should know my deal if you've been following this thread.

The door was slightly open when I showed up to her house, a small older home with a single garage and chipped white paint. It seemed somewhat normal from the outside, but a little plain and odd-looking for a girl that lived alone. Something was off that I couldn't really put my finger on at first - there were no flowers in the garden, the grass was long and somewhat unkempt, and when she came to answer me at the door, I didn't just step into a house, I stepped into her broken psyche.

To explain it frankly, the inside of her home was 2 minutes away from the producers of Hoarders showing up at her door with a camera crew. Everything was everywhere and everywhere was in absolute disarray. It wasn't so much that she was a hoarder, it was just that piles of clothes, dirty dishes, trash and whatever else you could think of was thrown wherever they could be thrown. It was an absolute ****ing disaster zone, and instantly I felt very uncomfortable being there. There was zero effort on her part when it came to organization and cleanliness. It also didn't help that the one litterbox that she had for her three full sized cats meandering around my feet was topped full with piss and sh*t. The smell permeated the lobby area with a strong ammonia cloud which began burning my nose. I contemplated leaving without saying a word right then and there, but I started to feel sorry for this girl. She probably grew up in a home like this, and disorganization just became the norm. In some forgotten corner in my cold heart, I felt a slight tinge of warmth. I couldn't leave her alone with her demons like that, I just couldn't.

"Excuse the mess, don't judge me" She says as she puts her arms around me. She was wearing a set of black leggings and a lowcut top, exposing the top half of her boobs. She knew what she was doing, and I happily took the bait. I gripped my hand on her ass while her lips made her way to mine. I didn't even have a chance to say hi before we started making our way to the bedroom, which was just as messy as the rest of the house. She threw me on her unmade bed, straddling me while she took her top and bra off, exposing the perfect tits that I remembered from the night at the barn. I quickly forgot about the catpiss smell, along with the musty trash, laundry and whatever else that covered the floor, countertops and furniture throughout the house.

While I laid on her bed half naked, I had a chance to think for a minute as she stepped into her bathroom before we continued our foreplay. I had to ask myself, what was I getting into? All the red flags were there. A messy house, a desperate girl, a co-worker, and a horse lover. It was all right there in front of me, and I knew the smart decision was to put my pants back on and respectfully tell her I was leaving. I fell into her trap of instant seduction, my mind immediately baited into thinking about nothing but having sex with her as soon as I stepped through the door. She was a ****ing professional, and she's done this before. I kept telling myself to put my ****ing pants on and leave, over and over again.

That didn't happen.

8 hours later, I woke up with her tightly snuggled against me, both of us completely naked. Her leg was wrapped around me as my semi-flaccid cock was still halfway inside of her. We were in that position for the entire night, even while we were soundly asleep.

She made me breakfast, we kissed, and I left with the spare key to her front door in my pocket.

I drove home in silence.


Part 3 - There should have never been a part 3..... Coming soon.

[GhostRider111]

Right away I am thinking BPD.

[hight0wer1]

I promised you *******s a part 2 was gonna be delivered today, so I'm gonna deliver.


Part 2


Part 3 - There should have never been a part 3..... Coming soon.