Motivating clients, failure motivating clients?

[Nachotaco]

Hello everyone!

I'm a new to this site and I'm a new NASM CPT trainer.

I've run into a problem training my younger brother. He asked me to help him lose weight and I'm so excited to chisel his body, however he cancels on me 50% of the time because one day this hurts and one day that hurts. I know he is motivated to lose the weight because he has never worked out in his life before and he has turned his life 360 to finally shed the weight. He has quit smoking, started eating better and thus far I've helped him lose 15 lb.

Friday we did some kettlebell and today (Tuesday) he says his quads hurt and and he can't work out his legs. I'll suggest upper body and he says he can't even lift toilet paper to wipe his ass. I try encouraging him and he says I'm overbearing!

I know he is full of bologna and I'm irritated with him for canceling on me usually within an hour before our workout schedule. I'm not a quitter and I don't want to quit on him, but how can I train someone that constantly puts up these barriers? I guess he's teaching me what might potentially come from actual paying customer and how should I go about it.

Please, offer any suggestions or criticism.

Thank you!

[WoofieNugget]

Simple solution - never train family or friends, and definitely not for free. There is no value in what you are offering besides being a workout buddy so why would he take it seriously?

[jeffsmith2]

I have to agree. Never train family and friends for free.

[Nachotaco]

I have to agree. Never train family and friends for free.

Thanks a lot guys. It makes sense. I'd never quit if I was financially invested.

[tbrady1pttools]

I would if they were dedicated. Trained my mom. She loved it. The people that give the most in life, recieve the most.

But were trainers. The most dedicated people walking around! Most people don't have the dedication to get where they want. But one thing i learned over the years...is trying to motivate somenoe will give them a spike of adrenaline but quickly die. You will motivate your client every workout. But if you don't inspire them to get there in the first place then it doesnt matter.

Inspire clients to get results. You can only motivate them to work harder while there in front of you at the sessions.

Find out what inspires him...i know this about every client before i work with them.

[born2dothis]

Simple solution - never train family or friends, and definitely not for free. There is no value in what you are offering besides being a workout buddy so why would he take it seriously?

yes this!




Also, one thing I have found with anything in life and especially getting in shape/losing weight is that unless people are focused and ready to make a change, nothing you can say or will do will change that. Something inside HAS to click.

For me when i was faced with changing or staying the same ...my fear of being fat forever is what motivated me. It was my WHY. If he doesn't have a WHY you pushing him will only aggrevate the sitch.

And if he isn't paying you thats a huge problem because there is no motivation even monetarily for him. I would tell him he has to pay or quit,

[KyleAaron]

If they're paying nothing, then you care more about their results than they do.

There's always trouble if the trainer cares more about the client's results than the client does.

The Fitness Australia code of ethics tells us that the trainer should not form a personal relationship with a client which would compromise the professional relationship. Now what they mean is, "don't screw the crew," but it applies in other ways - becoming your drinking buddy means they'll see you drunk lying in a gutter, which makes it hard for them to take you seriously during a training session. But the flipside is also true - you should not form a professional relationship which might compromise the personal relationship.

[FitGenX]

I'll offer more of the same...

The client HAS TO WANT IT, as much as you want it for them. When times get tough its good to fall back on a goals assessment and what reaching that goal means to the client. This goes far beyond the "I want to look good/lose weight/get abs/etc" surface level. Our goal assessments dig deep to find out what reaching that goal really means to them and how it will impact their life, as well as the consequences for not reaching that goal.

REAL EXAMPLE:

40 yr old male
30 lbs overweight
Wants to "get in shape" and lose weight.

Many trainers would run with this and with a few more details (fitness assessments aside) would get right to a solution. After all, that's what we do...solve problems and change lives. However, upon digging deeper, this male eventually expressed that his brother had a scare with a heart attack (1 year ago) and that he was really concerned for his family (he had a wife and two kids) should his health decline further. Getting in shape for him meant being their long term for his family.

As he opened up along the way, we learned that "lose weight" ended up meaning that he was having some joint problems when playing sports with his boy and that he thought losing the weight would ease the pain. Without this information we might have surmised that he simply wanted to "look better" in the mirror and on the beach by dropping some pounds. Obviously that is an extreme example, but you'd be surprised what people will open up about as you build a relationship with them.

This information is for you and them. And we always ask clients what we can or are allowed to do to hold them accountable when things "get tough" or "sore" as it were in your example.

Tell them, "I'm here for you and am fully commited to helping you reach your goal of "xyz" but I can't do it for you. All I'm asking is that you muster the strength and dedication to meet me half way so we can make this happen together. Does that sound fair?"

Its getting late on my end. Best of luck to you in your efforts and congratulations on your recent PT certification.

Regards,

Jesse
FitGenX

[Nachotaco]

Thanks guys for all your advise! I keep learning as I go

[health4life24]

I have experience with training family members. One thing I would like to point out is the moral aspect of the issue, is it right to charge family members? Being family you see yourself as doing what is right to help a family member out, but when you work in the personal training field, you see a different aspect in addition to the one I mentioned.

As one if the above posters stated, you care more about the clients results if the client is not laying. I don't know you can say that this applies to every person who has been in this situation, but it brings out some important points.

If a client is paying to receive your services you'd think they would do their absolute best and put in their best effort so that they really get their money's worth. The trainer can provide what he or she provides, but to have the best results trainer and client need to work together to create the best possible outcome. When you train someone for free, are they really going to take it as seriously? Some people I am sure will, but some not so much.

Another thing I would like to point out is the family member to family member relationship. As one of the above posters said, you have to keep that equal balance between professionalism and friendship. When these two things conflict it can cause things to not flow as fluently as we like.