Getting in on this and finally sticking with it. =\
My ex dumped me a few months back, and her reasoning was I "got too comfortable" and "stopped doing the little cute things" that she loves.. meanwhile a week after she dumped me she was ****ing one of her exes. Awesome, right? Well I made the mistake of trying to stay friends with her. It was my first real relationship and the first girl I've ever fell in love with, so I got majorly attached. Everybody gave me the advice to just end communication with her and I just ignored all of it because I thought I knew better. I thought I knew my situation better than anybody else, and I was beyond desperate to get back with her, so I thought staying friends would be good for me.
Boy was I wrong. I don't care what your situation is. If you're harboring feelings, YOU CANNOT JUST BE FRIENDS. You can't do it. It tore me apart knowing she was already with another guy. I knew she was ****ing him. I knew she was with him all the time. It was driving me insane.. and I stayed friends because I thought that would get me back with her. Couldn't be further from the truth.
I reached my breaking point over the last week. She started leading me on. She started telling me she doesn't know if things are gonna work out with the new guy, and even admitted she had feelings for me still. How do you think that made me feel? It gave me hope and I started to fall again, thinking we'd get back together.. only to have her text me 3 days later telling me she's sorry for confusing me and she doesn't want to do that to me anymore. Lmao. Completely lost it. Finally told her I'm done with her. Don't want to see her face anymore.. all that stuff. Then she got to calling me selfish because I'm not "there" for her when she has problems in her life, even if it's about a new guy..
So here I am. Deleted her off FB, Instagram, and I'm not texting her anymore. I have no choice. The "friendship" is absolutely toxic. You think staying friends will keep you close, but the closer you get the more it just destroys you. So obviously I'm devastated right now. I feel like I did after the breakup. Just alone. Moving on seems impossible. Today literally felt like it was 100 hours long.. but I gotta stick with it.
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Closed Thread
Results 4,381 to 4,410 of 7135
Thread: The No Contact Thread v2.0
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07-29-2014, 06:45 PM #4381
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07-29-2014, 06:55 PM #4382
Right there with ya man. You aren't the only one that has days that feel like they are forever. Best thing that helps me is reading stories on here about how people got through it, and that you aren't alone. Somehow everyone says we will all make it, so we gotta have faith. I am doing everything recommended to get over her, so just gotta hope it comes with time as the emotions wear off. My Ex of 5 years was my first love too, and my best friend. Just sucks especially picturing her with another guy.
I told her point blank though when she said she wanted to be friends that she is literally the last person on the planet I would ever want to be friends with. Meet up for coffee or something once in a while? (Whatever the hell friends do lol) while another guy gets to pound her, hold her, kiss her, snuggle with her, hangout with her, etc, etc? No thanks!
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07-29-2014, 06:56 PM #4383
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07-29-2014, 07:01 PM #4384
- Join Date: Jan 2009
- Location: Arizona, United States
- Age: 30
- Posts: 5,499
- Rep Power: 9276
It's weird how some of you have your ex text you still and whatnot. Me and her were together everyday and were best friends. She only had one friend she talked to but I was the only one she always talked to and now she just disappears and finds a new man. Is it because you stay NC for a while or what? I don't get it.
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07-29-2014, 07:07 PM #4385
- Join Date: Aug 2009
- Location: College Park, Maryland, United States
- Posts: 7,591
- Rep Power: 12244
Same here man, together every day for 3 years and mine lost feelings for me and hasn't attempted to talk to me in the 2 months since we broke up. I'm on week 6+ ish now. I went on NC after texting her to get closure for myself. She said she was happier w/o me and didn't miss me or want to talk to me... and I didn't do anything wrong. It just happened
Just accept that she changed and is a cold hearted bitch and it'll make you not wish that she'd talk to youChemE in education, SoftwareE in job
Live slow, Die whenever SLOTH LIFE
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07-29-2014, 07:11 PM #4386
I knew she was with the other guy for 3 months. 3 months of clinging to hope that she would change her mind. 3 months of knowing he's laying in her bed, loving her, cuddling with her, kissing her, having sex with her. What used to be mine now belongs to somebody else. There's not a more disgusting feeling in the world, because I know she compared the two of us and picked him. It's devastating.
I thought staying friends would be easier, because to be completely honest with you, I don't have many people. My friends are in relationships and are tied down. Things aren't the same as they used to be.. so when we broke up, I wanted to keep a close friend. Somebody to talk to every day. Somebody that is genuinely interested in what I'm doing / how I'm doing.. but the pain of knowing she's loving somebody else just overwhelmed me. Being alone with nobody to talk to sucks, but it's gotta be better than that. At some point down the road, it has to be better than torturing myself.
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07-29-2014, 07:11 PM #4387
- Join Date: Jan 2009
- Location: Arizona, United States
- Age: 30
- Posts: 5,499
- Rep Power: 9276
I regret texting her a lot of chit last time I heard she was with another guy but I took some things off my chest. Never replied lol.
I agree though they became cold hearted bitches. But the thought of us being best friends and seeing her everyday to now not even giving a chit about me still shocks me in a way.
Everyone that knew us are shocked because it never seemed she would do something like that literally
I admit that I did some wrong things but clearly that doesn't change the outcome.
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07-29-2014, 07:19 PM #4388
To be completely honest with you, I wish my ex stopped talking to me the day we broke up. I'd be months down the line with the healing process. Instead, I fell in the trap of talking to her all this time, and all it did was delay everything. If she never attempted to talk to me again, I'd have no choice but to grow up and move on. Since she stayed in contact, I kept this idea in my head that if I stayed in contact with her, she'd maybe get back together with me.
All it did was delay the inevitable.
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07-29-2014, 07:19 PM #4389
- Join Date: Jul 2009
- Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States
- Posts: 24,556
- Rep Power: 71993
Story time...I broke no contact
Fuark bros
So I started dating this girl back in March, she was broken up with her bf of 5 years at the time (they broke up in Jan) and he ended up moving to nyc
So we start dating...a couple weeks into it, she calls me and tells me her bf came back, proposed to her and she said yes and she's moving to nyc with him in july. At the time I was like w/e don't care..it's only been a couple weeks etc. etc..
BUT...she calls me back the next day and says chit like "what should I do", "say something" etc..I'm like wtf do you want me to do? we've only been dating for a 2 weeks or so..
but she insisted on meeting up that day...we end up talking for like 4-5 hours that night and just continue back to where we were...(he already left for nyc again)
So we kept at it for the next 3 months while she was engaged to this guy who lives in nyc.
There was a period in between (beginning of June) where we broke it off because..for some reason while in bed and about to have sexy time...she all of the sudden feels bad and thinks it's wrong (I mean I know it is) so I'm like why are you even here then? She gets mad and is like I don't know...take me home. I'm like lol u w0t? take a cab..So she stroms out and goes home..we don't talk for like a week, she's my co-worker so it was awkward at work too.
During one of the world cup matches, I was watching it at my m8's bar, I was buzzed a bit and ended up texting her. Then we meet up the next day to watch another world cup match, have some beers, went for a long ass ride on my motorcycle, ended up at a beach and chit got real. All kinds of feels. I was going to drop her off after the beach but she wanted to come over and I wasn't going to say no, and pretty much had some epic "make up" sex, I left for work in the morning and she just stayed over for the next couple of days.
then for the next 3 weeks or so, we pretty much lived together...either I was sleeping over at her place or she was sleeping over at mine. Hell I even spent the night before her wedding with her, not her fiance. They went to some family party (he just got back from nyc) and afterwards she told him to go to his family's house (who he was staying with) and she called me to come over.
She considered calling the whole thing off but felt as if she couldn't b/c it was too late, everything of set..family from all over was already here etc..so she went through with it
So she gets married on the 28th...I don't talk to her...last thing I said to her was. Hey I had a great past couple of months with you, but I do wish you the best.
Then I left for Spain/Portugal a couple days later b/c I needed to do something other than be home/working.
She called me after I got back but I didn't pick up....but Today I broke no contact and called her back (its been about 10 days since she called me)
We talk for a bit...She seems sad, tells me she regrets her decision and she wants to come back to Chicago.
fukBlaugrana Crew
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07-29-2014, 07:22 PM #4390
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07-29-2014, 07:23 PM #4391
Craziest thing about is how much more common this is in woman rather than men. It's so much easier for women to move on because they have bigger support systems, other guys lining up for them, and they hold it in for months, and prepare themselves for it.
Everyday from now on, I am just going to try and remember that there's tons of us on here all going through this, and we will all get through it. Just gotta have faith, but damn, it hurts like hell right now, and no matter what I do, she's always on my mind, and I can't get her off it.
This just goes to show you how emotional I am right now. I hate her more than anyone in the world, but still would give anything to just hold her hand again, and kiss her. It's pathetic saying that, but it's the truth. Deep down though I know me and her will never workout, even if she does come crawling back which I am honestly not expecting, because she had already moved on when she ended things, and I texted her/emailed her a ton for the 2-3 weeks after breaking up.
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07-29-2014, 07:25 PM #4392
Of course, but either way it stings. My ex wanted to stay in contact with me, but it stung knowing I kept feelings inside and she didn't want to be with me. She wanted to be with somebody else. Either way it's going to hurt.. but in my case, I do wish my ex cut me off like she never cared about me. I'd be in a better spot right now. Mine made me feel like she cared and wanted to get back together, but it was just false hope. Either way it sucks and hurts.
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07-29-2014, 07:27 PM #4393
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07-29-2014, 07:28 PM #4394
It sucks man. I know. But you're not the only one going through this. It's just a lonely, empty feeling. Like nobody wants you. Like nobody ever will want you. For me, to be compared to another guy and have him picked over me, is a huge shot at my confidence. It's a "I wasn't good enough and I never will be" feeling.
We'll get through it. Sure as hell doesn't feel like we'll get through it, but we will.
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07-29-2014, 07:40 PM #4395
The fact that she still pops into my head this often makes me feel like a retard. How can I not control my own thought process....
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07-29-2014, 07:45 PM #4396
^ how long have you been on nc?
It's only been a week for me, still see her at work... She's literally on my mind all the time, can't stop analyzing the relationship . She randomly drove through my apartment complex today? Almost broke nc wondering why she was here./\^/\^Misc Colorado Crew^/\^/\
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07-29-2014, 07:46 PM #4397
- Join Date: Jun 2014
- Location: Arizona, United States
- Age: 38
- Posts: 4,752
- Rep Power: 15400
good reading guys, progress for me too
after another bitchy email from her about her keyed car (she still thinks I had something to do with it) I have realized that I am not gonna waste anymore time and effort. I fought for her, I made the effort and she saw it.
I landed 3 dates this week and I am more aesthetic than I have been in 5 years. Things are looking great and I just think I will move on with this new me.
Onward and Upward.
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07-29-2014, 07:54 PM #4398
**** son, it's gonna be alright, I agree that's the worst fuking feeling ever, someone else getting picked over you, Its like being castrated, I know dem feels
Its going to be tough for a while, just gotta stick it out in the long run, you did well by cutting off friends with her, you will make more friends and meet new chicks anyways
Me too all my buddies are tied down. No one wants to go out, that's why it's important to find new hobbies etc to pass time. If you go study somewhere else, in a new program or get a new job then you will be guaranteed to meet new friends, so it's a matter of just toughing it out
Just remember, even though the whore picked someone else it doesn't mean they're better, women don't know what they want anyways and it sounds like u really cared, it truthfully is her loss
My girl left, said she wanted to be more of a badass, found some guy more experienced in relationships and at sex...was the toughest pill in the world to swallow, plus she's super educated as well so likely will never end up broke n fat. ...
but at the end of the day I know my worth, people have strengths and weakness, she's an indecisive anxious kunt who can't handle pressure and a is a baby, while I lack experience I know I'll never quit on my goals and am commiting to excellence rather than monkey branching like her
Stay strong, you're worth much more than her, and have more potential than u can imagine. Its time to unleash all that and become the man u are destined to be
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07-29-2014, 08:02 PM #4399
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07-29-2014, 08:28 PM #4400
For 7+ months til I broke it recently. Not that it matters these thoughts haven't stopped over the past 3. Feels stupid as shiit thinking about her we have 0 future so why in gods name do I want to help her. Worst part is I'm finally getting my life together, passed the CFA level 1, got a job, been looking at apartments so I can move out, just saw the doctor to begin allergy shots so I can get a dog,I'm doing everything I want to do.
My home life is controlled 100% by my parents and the one phucking thing I have is my mind and I cant control it. Its not even depressing its embarrassing.
The whole situation is a phucking joke, and I know it yet I still try to figure out the answer. There is no answer, it was a good time that had to end yet because I didn't "win" I won't stop analyzing it.
Hopefully as this job starts and I get back into the gym I just won't have time to think... Lol... I can't even take my own thoughts seriously.
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07-29-2014, 08:51 PM #4401
Uh you passed your CFA, got a new job and are moving out soon to a new place...talk about fresh stArt
Things are ALREADY better for you, congrats, I can guarantee once you start working and training you will be a new man, it will take some time, but u can't hate yourself for having these thoughts, it sucks but it's not like u can snap your fingers and get them to go away
New job, new place, eventually CFA level II and you'll be laughing in no time
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07-29-2014, 10:08 PM #4402
sloots gon sloot, that's what you get after you pull a dumb move and propose/get back with somebody who is done with you.
Dude is this even problem for you? Fukn aware the guy she's a sloot lmao.
Ok maybe he's an idiot and it's his fault I don't know. You fell in love with her for real?ayyy lmao
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07-29-2014, 10:09 PM #4403
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07-29-2014, 10:11 PM #4404
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07-29-2014, 10:14 PM #4405
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07-30-2014, 01:01 AM #4406
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07-30-2014, 01:23 AM #4407
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07-30-2014, 02:52 AM #4408
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07-30-2014, 03:58 AM #4409
Haha yeh I suppose that is a big change. Actually had a coffee this morning when I went for breakfast with my mum. Probably wasn't a great call. Weird how sensitive(chemically sensitive not beta sensitive) I can be to caffeine sometimes. Luckily I'm off work today with a study day which means longer time in my gym. Going to absolutely wreck it in a couple of hours.
lol wot?
Do you have feelings for this girl? If not I don't see how you're not laughing about this situation 24/7.
If the feels are strong then that sucks but by the sounds of it she's not worth the time if she's prepared to marry a guy whilst seeing you.
Congrats on the CFA man. I know the amount of work needed for that. A few friends of mine doing it at the moment. What area of finance you in?
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07-30-2014, 05:14 AM #4410
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: Royal Oak, Michigan, United States
- Posts: 1,142
- Rep Power: 507
Dem feel bro, weird relationship and just called her last night and came to the realization that she is not coming back. Held on for a month and a half.
Somebody hold me.Disregard facial aesthetics crew
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IF;IIFYM; Kelei's Intermediate/Advanced Routine Crew.
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