The No Contact Thread v2.0

[Flapjacks28]

Been a while, but progress update: about 7 months NC with ex (one-itis). Thought I might get SOMETHING from her on my birthday in Oct but literally nothing, so I know I made the right decision. Still think about her sometimes but not really attracted to her anymore. Definitely a good sign. Hooked up with several girls since her (nearly all were definite upgrades), helped a lot, but kinda short-lived effects. Trying to move out this year, then I think the ship will have finally sailed. New city = new people. We're all gonna make it brahs.

[1thatgotaway]

Day 5 of NC. Today's worse than before.

I dreamt about her and woke up thinking about her.

I cracked and read through our screenshots of our old conversations. I miss her.

Still fighting the urge to look at her instagram and twitter but I know that will only set me back.

[J1m80]

It's been a few weeks now since a girl I really fell for broke it off with me. She was literally completely infatuated with me then out of the blue she told me she can't be in a relationship right now. There are a lot of unanswered questions still that I didn't get to ask because she disappeared so quickly. I'm miserable as phuck. Last week wasn't so bad but all I have done since the weekend is think about her and sleep whenever I can. For those that have broken NC to find closure, did it actually help?

[unknown3475]

It's been a few weeks now since a girl I really fell for broke it off with me. She was literally completely infatuated with me then out of the blue she told me she can't be in a relationship right now. There are a lot of unanswered questions still that I didn't get to ask because she disappeared so quickly. I'm miserable as phuck. Last week wasn't so bad but all I have done since the weekend is think about her and sleep whenever I can. For those that have broken NC to find closure, did it actually help?

You'll never get closure. She won't tell you the truth.

[J1m80]

You'll never get closure. She won't tell you the truth.

That's the thing, I've thought about it and probably won't believe her if she gives me the same reason as before. Here are the options of what is going through my mind.

(A) (This is her reason) She is really depressed and needs to get help. She is unwilling to do it whilst being in a relationship. She told me all along that I am the best thing that has ever happened to her and I make her happier than she has been in years. Why throw it away then? Why not let me be there for her? Seems like she is sabotaging her own happiness.

(B) She has met someone else. We practically talked all day every day through text when not seeing each other. She lives 2 hours away. It's possible that ideally she wants to be with me but knows she will have to move here. We talked about our future a lot. So maybe she has found someone she doesn't like as much as me, but is from somewhere closer to her? She admitted she was scared that if she moved and committed herself to working here that she would miss her old life in her town.

C) She was just using me all along to make herself feel better and decided to cut it off before it got any further.

I honestly think I prefer B and C to be the real reason. I know they would give me closure. I just can't understand the reason she gave me (A). Seems like she broke it off for the wrong reasons. I am so tempted to get in touch with her and ask her. I'm not sure if that's really productive for either of us though. I just have no idea how to let it go and it's phucking me up

[AfroPope]

"A" is obvious bull****. I've heard it before and it's bull****. Most people understand that love, support, and friendship are crucial for recovery from any sort of mental illness.

[unknown3475]

That's the thing, I've thought about it and probably won't believe her if she gives me the same reason as before. Here are the options of what is going through my mind.

(A) (This is her reason) She is really depressed and needs to get help. She is unwilling to do it whilst being in a relationship. She told me all along that I am the best thing that has ever happened to her and I make her happier than she has been in years. Why throw it away then? Why not let me be there for her? Seems like she is sabotaging her own happiness.

(B) She has met someone else. We practically talked all day every day through text when not seeing each other. She lives 2 hours away. It's possible that ideally she wants to be with me but knows she will have to move here. We talked about our future a lot. So maybe she has found someone she doesn't like as much as me, but is from somewhere closer to her? She admitted she was scared that if she moved and committed herself to working here that she would miss her old life in her town.

C) She was just using me all along to make herself feel better and decided to cut it off before it got any further.

I honestly think I prefer B and C to be the real reason. I know they would give me closure. I just can't understand the reason she gave me (A). Seems like she broke it off for the wrong reasons. I am so tempted to get in touch with her and ask her. I'm not sure if that's really productive for either of us though. I just have no idea how to let it go and it's phucking me up

Like AfroPope said, A is BS. If you're depressed as hell, what better than to have a support system in your S/O? There's literally nothing better than to be able to talk to your GF/BF about your sadness. Mostly for women.

Just assume B or C, and don't ask for closure. It's all BS. It's so cliche, but it's true. The only person to give you closure if yourself. Move on, and in the future she will probably contact you. Actually I know she will. Just leave her be for now.

[najee786]

This is a general one for anyone ever thinking of looking to escape by taking cell tech. Day 126 NC. Worst mistake I made was to start dat dere creatine a 30 days back. The most anabolic androgenic creatine with mental sides. SRS. Warning to any other brahs. It took me till around day 40 till I was genuinely fully over whereby no dreams and no day dreaming or getting hooked up during the day. I felt a new sense of profound freedom. Anyway rampantly moving on... I thought I would experiment with some chit. BAD MOVE. FEELS of nature have put me back to day 1 I swear and I have a new girl. Lesson for other brahs that take think cell tech is the answer after NC. NO. NO IT’S NOT. Gains defo do not outweigh mental sides.

[Nowlin3]

I feel ya on that bro. The hot n cold with my girl while we have been broken up has been maddening. Gonna let her sort her career out, and do I gotta do my own thing. But damn do I wanna text her right now...if only to find out how her day was.

I think about texting her too, but I figure if she wants to talk to me. She'll talk to me. I feel so much better though. I know she'll be back. But I might be too far gone

[Stingdragon]

Met a chick, she was into me but then friendzoned me. Time to go NC brahs.

brb we're all gonna make it.

[FannySkelper]

"A" is obvious bull****. I've heard it before and it's bull****. Most people understand that love, support, and friendship are crucial for recovery from any sort of mental illness.

yeah that stuff is of utmost importance

[JValkyrie]

It's been a few weeks now since a girl I really fell for broke it off with me. She was literally completely infatuated with me then out of the blue she told me she can't be in a relationship right now. There are a lot of unanswered questions still that I didn't get to ask because she disappeared so quickly. I'm miserable as phuck. Last week wasn't so bad but all I have done since the weekend is think about her and sleep whenever I can. For those that have broken NC to find closure, did it actually help?

Its definitely B or C dude. Look I'm not going to lie, for me breaking NC did help but only because I accepted the relationship was over went back to try to be friends and stay in touch (we knew each other before things started to heat up)... And it helped me move on because my ex and I had a massive arguement and it became obvious to me that being just friends was impossible.

But as far as closure? I'd say you give that to yourself by realizing that its over and that you have to put it in the past for yourself. Personally I didn't get any closure from her, the last time we spoke we were quite angry at each other and I hate that its the last memory we'll have. Such is life I suppose... Getting back in touch for this reason or to try to get an ex back is not productive.

[Nomadiic]

So I've hit the 3 month mark since BU.

I made a lot of mistakes but I also gained a lot of experience since it was my first LTR and she was my first so I also experienced a BU too in my life. It changed me. Felt a healthy urge to improve on my life. I joined this site after she dumped me, started hitting the gym atleast 3 to 5 times a week. I even cold approached 3 girls since my ex dumped me and I never did that before in my life. /Feels good.

What I can say is, If I ever have a girlfriend again and she starts getting distant, make up excuses for sex and all that stuff, I'll dump her ass immediately. If she breaks up out of the blue without me noticing any signs I will just say "Oh you want to break up with me? That's fine, I was thinking about doing the same anyway." and I'll go NC forever. I wish I did this with my current ex, I bet she came back in a week already and then I could just laugh at it because I would have hold the power then.

Now I literally did the opposite, I've broke NC like 3 times, 2 months ago when I texted her I said "No, stay NC, it's for the best." I didn't text her during her birthday, Christmas or NY's eve. A week back I go on a ski-trip and suddenly I have all this feels back like "I wish my ex was with me to experience something fun like this" and in this weak moment I text her saying "Greetings from Italy". She never replied... It made me feel worse for a day, now I realize why NC is best. It's better to never text than text her and don't get a reply back.... Now I feel like a total beta *******, I'm sure she lost ALL respect towards me. If I faked agreeing with the BU and went NC immediately, she would have atleast respected me...

Anyway, feeling fine again. Better than before, I'm finally not thinking about the past again but living in the present and focusing on the future.

[1thatgotaway]

Update:

Day 5 of no contact and my girl texted me "I'm sorry."

Why did she say that? What is she is expecting to get out of saying that?

I'm not responding but I'm curious what you guys think.

[Nowlin3]

Update:

Day 5 of no contact and my girl texted me "I'm sorry."

Why did she say that? What is she is expecting to get out of saying that?

I'm not responding but I'm curious what you guys think.

That's tough man. You probably SHOULD ignore it. But to be completely honest, I'd bite the bait to see what's up. That's also because I hate playing games, but sometimes you gotta play the game.

[bertishere]

It's been a few weeks now since a girl I really fell for broke it off with me. She was literally completely infatuated with me then out of the blue she told me she can't be in a relationship right now. There are a lot of unanswered questions still that I didn't get to ask because she disappeared so quickly. I'm miserable as phuck. Last week wasn't so bad but all I have done since the weekend is think about her and sleep whenever I can. For those that have broken NC to find closure, did it actually help?

same here bro.

she wanted to date in the summer but i wasn't having it. decided to give it a shot because i saw potential in her.

she told me she didn't want a relationship because she wants to be single. after questioning her ridiculous mentality and the way she was acting the last few weeks (one day lovey dovey, the next day not giving a chit), she admitted that she didn't see a relationship with me because we're different, but she enjoys hanging out with me cause i'm a lot of fun.

i called BS because if we're different that how the f do we have so much fun when we chill?

this happened on the weekend but started NC today because i needed some of my stuff back.

[unknown3475]

Update:

Day 5 of no contact and my girl texted me "I'm sorry."

Why did she say that? What is she is expecting to get out of saying that?

I'm not responding but I'm curious what you guys think.

She feels guilty for breaking your heart.

Honestly, after only 5 days I'd have jumped on a text like that, which I have before.

Like above poster said, ask her why she sent that.

Look out for all the signs of stringing you along, and if you detect that, that's when you get closure, and you fully move on.

For your own sanity, see what's up. 5 days NC ain't nothing to make back up. Worth a try.

[1thatgotaway]

She feels guilty for breaking your heart.

Honestly, after only 5 days I'd have jumped on a text like that, which I have before.

Like above poster said, ask her why she sent that.

Look out for all the signs of stringing you along, and if you detect that, that's when you get closure, and you fully move on.

For your own sanity, see what's up. 5 days NC ain't nothing to make back up. Worth a try.

My guess is the guy she'd rather have been with isn't interested. I'm not going to respond. She said too many things she can't take back.

She said that she was bored and that she isn't drawn to me and that she wouldn't be fulfilled. That was 5 days ago. I don't think she's changed her opinion in 5 days.

[mzakflip40]

Day 3 of NC, just checked her ********. The urge was too strong. Didn't see anything that I didn't want to see (just normal ******** stuff), but I know I gotta break this habit of checking sooner rather than later. Only a matter of time before I see something that punches me in the gut. Or at the very least a new picture that just makes me miss her.

[unknown3475]

My guess is the guy she'd rather have been with isn't interested. I'm not going to respond. She said too many things she can't take back.

Ah OK, if there's for sure a guy in the mix, fuggit.

[1thatgotaway]

Ah OK, if there's for sure a guy in the mix, fuggit.

That's why it ended. She would tweet about getting back with the guy I told her to stop talking to.

[bertishere]

Day 3 of NC, just checked her ********. The urge was too strong. Didn't see anything that I didn't want to see (just normal ******** stuff), but I know I gotta break this habit of checking sooner rather than later. Only a matter of time before I see something that punches me in the gut. Or at the very least a new picture that just makes me miss her.

delete her from ********..

[unknown3475]

That's why it ended. She would tweet about getting back with the guy I told her to stop talking to.

Forget her. She's not worth the pain and stress. Use that as motivation to move on.

[JValkyrie]

My guess is the guy she'd rather have been with isn't interested. I'm not going to respond. She said too many things she can't take back.

She said that she was bored and that she isn't drawn to me and that she wouldn't be fulfilled. That was 5 days ago. I don't think she's changed her opinion in 5 days.

I'm glad that you stayed NC. Sending you "I'm sorry" and only that is such a bull**** message. She left you and she's sorry? For what? Relationships end... You'll gain even more power and make her regret breaking up with you more by not seeing what's up to make her feel better for making you feel like ****.

I suspect she will text you again with something stronger soon. That being said... Don't hold out for it, keep moving forward.

[1thatgotaway]

I'm glad that you stayed NC. Sending you "I'm sorry" and only that is such a bull**** message. She left you and she's sorry? For what? Relationships end... You'll gain even more power and make her regret breaking up with you more by not seeing what's up to make her feel better for making you feel like ****.

I suspect she will text you again with something stronger soon. That being said... Don't hold out for it, keep moving forward.

That's exactly what I thought. When I checked my phone and saw a message from her I was expecting something more than "I'm sorry."

That's why I didn't respond.

I had a feeling I was going to wake up a longer message but nothing.

"I'm sorry" might be the last thing she's going to say to me.

[JValkyrie]

That's exactly what I thought. When I checked my phone and saw a message from her I was expecting something more than "I'm sorry."

That's why I didn't respond.

I had a feeling I was going to wake up a longer message but nothing.

"I'm sorry" might be the last thing she's going to say to me.

Maybe. The end of relationships is never easy. I mean how does one even go from being so intimately involved with someone to absolutely nothing overnight? Yet an intimate relationship or friendship is the only one that usually goes like that, other friendships fade out gradually over time.

We're left with two choices:

- Either we get on with our lives and provide our own closure by putting that person in the past as soon as possible OR

- Hang onto whatever's left, maintain contact with the person, and drag out or perhaps even intensify the pain

When a relationship is defined as 'over', that's basically it between those two people. It doesn't matter the circumstances of the break up, what was said, what wasn't said.

The only way things can change is literally if the person who is doing the dumping turns around and works their ass off to request or prove that they want to be in a relationship again. For the security of the dumpee, they shouldnt just take that person back right away but test the dumper's committment and resolve of making things work again.

Until that happens... All this breadcrumb stuff is nothing. Feelings are so fickle. She probably missed you yesterday and today she could be kicking herself for breaking her own NC rule because she is "supposed to be moving on". It doesnt mean that its possible for you to do anything to weaken her, your absense does that on its own.

You have all the right ideas anyway, and you're in better condition than I was in the same position. You're gonna make it, I'm gonna make it. We're all gonna make it.

[Nowlin3]

Today is the start of NC day 4. I keep dreaming about her, and miss her. But I will not break. Today I deleted every social media app on my phone so she won't know what I am up to and I won't look at her ****. I thought there was a chance for reconciliation, but it's been a month since the break up and she's the most stubborn person alive. The breakup wasn't really that bad. She said a few messed up things, but apologized the next day. And I begged for her back the first week or so. I know she won't contact me, so there's my closure.

Never thought I'd be saying this, but I can live without her. This will become her biggest mistake.

[1thatgotaway]

Maybe. The end of relationships is never easy. I mean how does one even go from being so intimately involved with someone to absolutely nothing overnight? Yet an intimate relationship or friendship is the only one that usually goes like that, other friendships fade out gradually over time.

We're left with two choices:

- Either we get on with our lives and provide our own closure by putting that person in the past as soon as possible OR

- Hang onto whatever's left, maintain contact with the person, and drag out or perhaps even intensify the pain

When a relationship is defined as 'over', that's basically it between those two people. It doesn't matter the circumstances of the break up, what was said, what wasn't said.

The only way things can change is literally if the person who is doing the dumping turns around and works their ass off to request or prove that they want to be in a relationship again. For the security of the dumpee, they shouldnt just take that person back right away but test the dumper's committment and resolve of making things work again.

Until that happens... All this breadcrumb stuff is nothing. Feelings are so fickle. She probably missed you yesterday and today she could be kicking herself for breaking her own NC rule because she is "supposed to be moving on". It doesnt mean that its possible for you to do anything to weaken her, your absense does that on its own.

You have all the right ideas anyway, and you're in better condition than I was in the same position. You're gonna make it, I'm gonna make it. We're all gonna make it.

Thanks for your reply, it helps a lot in understanding the situation.

I'm going to give her time and let her miss me because I still miss her. But the words "I'm sorry," I can't reply to that.

[m1uk0363]

Today is the start of NC day 4. I keep dreaming about her, and miss her. But I will not break. Today I deleted every social media app on my phone so she won't know what I am up to and I won't look at her ****. I thought there was a chance for reconciliation, but it's been a month since the break up and she's the most stubborn person alive. The breakup wasn't really that bad. She said a few messed up things, but apologized the next day. And I begged for her back the first week or so. I know she won't contact me, so there's my closure.

Never thought I'd be saying this, but I can live without her. This will become her biggest mistake.

Thats the spirit, one day they will see what we become. We live with the pain now, but they will live with that regret for the rest of their lives.

Go change your world.

[Nowlin3]

Thanks for your reply, it helps a lot in understanding the situation.

I'm going to give her time and let her miss me because I still miss her. But the words "I'm sorry," I can't reply to that.

Here's what I've got to say. If you want to wait for her, then do so. But live life while waiting for her. Lift, do your best work at your job or school, and talk to other girls. I just started talking to other girls. You'll still think about your ex, but it gives you some confidence.

When you wake up in the morning say this "I am whole. I am perfect. I am strong. I am powerful." I started this the other day and I ****ing believe it now. And if you believe it, others will. Make sure this becomes your exes biggest mistake. Make sure they go to bed thinking about if they made the right decision. You do that man, I can almost gurantee she comes back. And by then, you may not want her.