MY Gf works with a guy (she is a server) and has worked with this guy for about 6-8 months.
he recently moved to China, but I noticed lately hes been commenting and liking all of her pictures of ********.
Today while we were watching T.V she admitted that she was "emotionally cheating" on me with this guy. Saying they would hangout, go to the gym, see each other at work. And that at times (I go to school and work full time) when i wasnt around she started getting a little crush on him.
Said she loved the attention she was getting from him...
Hes been moved to China for about 2 months now, but she admitted they still chat on ********.
I dont know how to feel or what to do right now.
Ive been dating her for 3.5 years, and we had some initial issues in our relationship, but she was someone I saw myself spending my life with.
She claims they never did anything physical, and that she only hungout because he was giving her attention. And his fondness of her didnt get too intense until he moved.
Idk what to do right now, im pissed that she let herself get that close enough to another guy while dating me. As if she had an emotional boyfriend. Then a part of me thinks I should cut my losses and be single till im 30years old.
Advice?
cliffs
1. gf works with a guy, he gives her a lot of attention
2. secretely hangs out with him for a while. claims nothing physical or sexual ever happened. only liked the attention
3. she admitted this all to me today after we went to the gym.
4. she deleted him/blocked him on ********, and deactivated her account.
5. admits everything she did is wrong, ****ed up, willing to do whatever it takes to fix our relationship.
6. What to do? Considering just cutting my ties with her. It was a good 3.5yr run, dont know If i have it in me to try and repair this relationship
edit: i will admit. I dont tend to trust people. It took me a long time to open up to her. And now i Feel like the trust is betrayed. Might be a while till I can trust her again.
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11-04-2013, 08:27 PM #1Poster above me is a phag
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Need girlfriend (maybe Ex gf) advice 3.8k reps no pics
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11-04-2013, 08:30 PM #2Poster above me is a phag
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have to bump this already? fuk.
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11-04-2013, 08:30 PM #3Registered User
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Red Flag: " secretely hangs out with him for a while. claims nothing physical or sexual ever happened. only liked the attention"
She shouldn't be hanging out with guys that are interested in her while she's in a relationship PERIOD. Her excuse is sad and pathetic also... for attention really? Dump her.. she defiantly did something with him. Imagine if you get rocky again OP? She will look for another guy to get attention from and she'll cheat. Red flag brah.. stay safe.. would dump and move on even if it's hard.
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11-04-2013, 08:31 PM #4Registered User
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sloots gonna sloot srs. It seems like she's interested/exploring different people that should be a red flag right away that she is starting to lose interest in you, I would drop it I were you
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11-04-2013, 08:32 PM #5Poster above me is a phag
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she acknowledged that.Originally Posted by WafflesBrah
stated that she's not trying to justify her actions. But answering why. And that it was stupid and she's sorry... blah blah blahMisc'in since '07
2x cancer survivor
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11-04-2013, 08:32 PM #6Registered User
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Bro... I'm sorry to hear this, but in reality you know that if you stay with her then you'll be looking over your shoulder all the time with her. It's good she admitted this to you rather than it developing further, but can you really just forget about it? I think you already have made your decision
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11-04-2013, 08:33 PM #7So it begins
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the ship has sailed, deuces bitch.
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11-04-2013, 08:33 PM #8
She might as well got physical with him. Emotional cheating is basically almost the same as physically cheating to women
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11-04-2013, 08:34 PM #9Banned
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she is a server..all I needed to know brahOriginally Posted by Dennis71
im a server and ill tell you this now. girls with bfs working in the restrurant industry.......
stay safe man..
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11-04-2013, 08:35 PM #10Registered User
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Seems like she's being pretty candid with you. Talk out why she felt the need to get attention elsewhere or break it off, kind of up to you, but if you stick to the relationship, that needs to be resolved
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11-04-2013, 08:36 PM #11Banned
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emotionally cheating on someone is extremely close to physically cheating on someone op, remember this. if somebody is emotionally involved with someone else than things can turn physical very easy, especially if alcohol is involved (not saying there was but this is an example). when your in a relationship with somebody you are both emotionally and physically committed to one another. if she has done this before than it makes me think that she is more than likely going to do it again, and it could definitely be worse next time.
if i were you, id make it very fukking clear how you feel about the situation and that if anything like this were to ever arise again, your trust in her would be compromised and as a result would not want to be in a relationship with her.
lay it to her straight out so she cannot twist ur words later. remember that u are the man in the relationship and you have to tell her if your not okay with something.
goodluck op.
edit: also after re-reading your original post, i have to say that if this is something that you genuinely cant get over then tell her that. sometimes things happen that we just cannot move past. you will only be hurting yourself and your gf in the long run if you continue the relationship constantly burdened by this.
CLIFFS:
- if a girl has emotionally cheated on u then its very likely she will physically do so if given the chance
- if u wanna stay with her tell her clearly and seriously that if she does it again its over
- if u cant move past it, end itLast edited by Datsek; 11-04-2013 at 08:46 PM.
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11-04-2013, 08:36 PM #12Registered User
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11-04-2013, 08:37 PM #13Registered User
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I can guarantee if this was reversed around you would get dumped. She shouldn't have developed a small crush for him when she's with someone else already aka you and she should of been straight forward with you from the start. Even if she acknowledged it was wrong, don't you think she will do it again when you don't give her proper attention? Tbh I don't know how you can trust her after her doing that and trust is the most important part in a relationship. Without trust everything is ruined.Originally Posted by Dennis71
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11-04-2013, 08:37 PM #14Poster above me is a phag
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lots of good advice in this thread
thanksMisc'in since '07
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11-04-2013, 08:38 PM #15Registered User
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To women cheating is an emotional thing. For guys its physical. If she emotionally cheated and had legitimate feelings for this guy she probably did more than what she said... and this would have kept going on if he didn't move and you would have never known about it. She just gave it up because he's in China now.
inb4 the one that got away
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11-04-2013, 08:39 PM #16Registered User
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Originally Posted by ViktorFrankl
You are one naive bastard, and so is OP if he thinks that he can just talk this out with her. This girl obviously has emotional issues to pull this bs. She likely cheated, and the slim chance that nothing did happened when they hung out secretly, she will sloot it up at some point. Shes the typical girl OP who is shady as fuk. She'll tell you everything you want to hear from this point forward just so she can keep you for the time being as she continues to seek attention behind you back.
You're a fool if you stay with this girl. Have fun getting crushed if you think this is fixable after what shes done. Move on and let her know that this type of behavior is pathetic.
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11-04-2013, 08:40 PM #17Poster above me is a phag
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she said that they just kinda hungout as friends... but once he moved to China, he would message her on ********, and then he started developing feelings telling her that he wanted to her to be with him when he came backOriginally Posted by koolsuppy
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11-04-2013, 08:42 PM #18Poster above me is a phag
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any more advice
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11-04-2013, 08:42 PM #19Registered User
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*had this happen to him crew* Checking in.
RUN! Seriously bro runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. This happened to me, took her back, phucks him a year later.
This is the next step to cheating, you don't want to get cheated on. You need to show her it's not cool and you need to protect yourself. I felt like chit before she cheated on me because, as said above, I was constantly worried about her latching on to someone else, or the same guy.
Stay safe bro, were gonna make it.
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11-04-2013, 08:43 PM #20Registered User
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Use personal judgement, obviously. I'd believe my gf in this situation, but I'd wager my dik she wouldn't physically cheat on me, 100% trust srs. He's been with the girl for almost four years - he can make a call as to how big an issue this is. Yeah, she has emotional issues, but they're potentially resolvable. Just debatable if it's worth the effortOriginally Posted by SquallFF8
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11-04-2013, 08:44 PM #21Registered User
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Don't know that she was defiant about it, the OPs post doesn't read that defiance was what she was feeling or how she was acting.Originally Posted by WafflesBrah
Anyway OP I would take 'emotionally cheated' as plain and simple cheated. She probably had physical sex with him. It's a wank situation to be in but I think splitting up is probably for the best."Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life." - Cecil Rhodes
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11-04-2013, 08:45 PM #22Registered User
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So they had mutual feelings for each other the answer should clear.Originally Posted by Dennis71
Ok this is very recent i acutally ended things with my ex last month.
On and off for 3 years official for over 2. We broke up didn't talk for 6 months she rebounds started talking again while she was in rebound. Been trying to get back together for 4 months. Last 2 and a half months she's been hanging out with her friends brother "just as friends" what happened? Got into a relationship with him hid it from me on ******** tried to have him as a bf and be with me at the same time... I found out in October.
End well this will not my friend. Didn't think she was that type of girl either after being faithful for so long.
I was in denial about this "friends" thing too i even called her out on it and she would make it seem like i was insecure and we would argue because of it.. but its been going on for 2 months.. and she tried to justify it.. sloot logic?
Any girl will and can lie about anything and everything no matter how "special" you may be to her
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11-04-2013, 08:52 PM #23Poster above me is a phag
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Thanks Misc.
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11-04-2013, 08:54 PM #24Registered User
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if you need any advice pm me. went through the same chitOriginally Posted by Dennis71
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11-04-2013, 08:57 PM #25Registered User
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chit op my gf of 3.5 years actually cheated on me and im over here thinking if i should try to work things out (i cut all contact but she keeps trying to make it up to me so i can forgive her)
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11-04-2013, 08:58 PM #26Registered User
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Originally Posted by ViktorFrankl
Wayyy too much faith in women brah. Doesn't matter if its been years in a relationship. Been there, done that and got fuked over hard. Girls will lie and say everything they can when desperate. Of course shes telling OP everything he wants to hear to keep him around. Of course "nothing happend" and she "just wanted attention"….unreal sloot logic that OP is buying.
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11-04-2013, 09:02 PM #27Registered User
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Faith in woman. I'm not generalizing. I would not be saying I was emotional cheating if I wanted to keep a SO though (OP is considering dumping as is - not a really strong relationship building move). It could be a lie to cover up fucking the guy or some such, but that's up to OP to determineOriginally Posted by SquallFF8
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11-04-2013, 09:03 PM #28The Philosopher
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EXPECTED OP TO BE RED. i left very unsatisfied. like seriously did. i felt it and it didnt happen.
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11-04-2013, 09:03 PM #29Registered User
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bro she was secretly hanging out with this guy? that's the first red flag. but the fact that she can just start liking some other dude is just aweful. when I was dating my ex for over a year, if I ever found out she was hanging out with a dude or had a crush, I know it would kill me. I don't really have any advice for you brah but once the trust is gone then its gone. no homo. good luck brah
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11-04-2013, 09:05 PM #30Registered User
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Bad news, brah. It may have started as an emotional affair, but I'd bet the house that it became physical.Originally Posted by Dennis71
Regardless, the trust in your relationship is now broken and it will never be the same.
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