GF of 3 years and I on the verge breaking up. Psychology Brahs GTFIH, need advice.

[rugbie]

Hey misc, my girlfriend and best friend of 3 years are going through some rough times.
I left her this morning telling her that she should trust her feelings, and if she wants to end it here, she is free to and I won't hold her back.
We both agree that it could go in any way from here. We are taking the day to think about either leaving it here, or continuing on.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ, SKIP TO CLIFFS NOW:

We are the type of couple that share everything with each other, speak about shiit that even I can't think about by myself.
She says I often pick up on things she doesn't even know about herself, and I am closer to her than to my own mother.
When we fight, we just talk it out - mature and without any bullchit. And it always works. We have both developed so much as people due to meeting one another, and we have been through a lot.

I came to her last night as I notice in the past month, our sex hasn't been that great and she just hasn't been as keen as she always is. inb4 she's cheating. I have my reasons to strongly believe she is not, but I never rule it out.
She says that it has been after a few fights that we had (and resolved as far as I was aware) that she feels different about me and her, but she can't put her finger on it. She says she gets easily frustrated and annoyed with tiny little things I do, just me being me. She doesn't know why.
She says that after the fights, she has negative thoughts on our relationship some days, and others she is fine. She has been finding it hard to show affection to me but still says she loves me and thinks the world of me.
It is all very conflicting and confusing.
This is all that we managed to get to last night, and I told her to go away for a day or two or more and see if she can pinpoint why she feels like this towards us. At the moment neither of us know why.

This all came to me as a surprise, the "spark" in the relationship definitely does not feel like it is gone.
We have been together since we were 20. It is a hard time to be in a relationship because we each want to go and do our own things, she wants to move in with her friends, I want to travel, etc.
We both talk about it and agree that if we want to go away and do our own thing for a while (like travel), we can just pick up where we left.

I have a feeling that things might be growing stale for her, and it might be best to cut it off now before it snowballs and becomes worse - because it will if nothing is done.
I caught onto it early, but I'm not sure if its something that can be changed, but only time will tell.

CLIFFS:
- We built our foundations of the past 3 years together, and are closer than we are to our own parents.
- The sex hasn't been what it used to in the past 3 months
- She says she is feeling "different towards us" after some fights we had 3 months back.
- It also came with her having a short temper, getting frustrated and annoyed with little things I do
- She has no idea why she feels this this way, we are trying to figure it out but have hit a dead end.
- I realize a lot of this points to cheating - I never rule it out but I have reason to strongly believe against it. INB4 Cheating.
- Phuck, too hard to explain, just read the whole thing. Cliffs don't do it justice.


Thanks for reading brahs, I typed this out as it helps me get my head around what is happening.
I really look forward to reading opinions and advice, thanks misc.

[gottk2x]

Gonna need pics to be able to further evaluate this situation.

[qurs]

It's over.

[GetFit4Basic]

Psychology brah with specialization in couples therapy checking in.

Kill her.

[EUROBRAH]

- She has no idea why she feels this this way, we are trying to figure it out but have hit a dead end.

It's because she's tasted someone elses cawk or is strongly thinking about it / is in love with someone else

She's in strong denial anyway brah and there's a lot she's not telling you. There's a little sloot hidden in every girl and they will unleash their inner sloot either before dating you, while being with you or after you and this is a fact brothers.

[PhilAUS]

It's over.

its run its course homie

sorry brah

[0reppower]

you done goofd bra

its over. she might be even getting some action on the side

[BigNi6]

Wanna know what ever sucker/chump who got cheated on without knowing it until it was to late or never found out had in common?

They ignored warning signs for these little beta motivations they had floating around there heads, they called these things "reasons".

They also tend to ignore posts by people like me so go about doing whatever stupid chit your gunna do OP.

[LiLRyan]

Birds of a feather flock together... You 2 are on different levels possibly and thats why u feel different

[noDaddyno]

Lol..at picking up where you left off. You're living in fairy tale land. Chances are its over and just let it die once it is.

[StalinX]

CLIFFS:
- We built our foundations of the past 3 years together, and are closer than we are to our own parents.
- The sex hasn't been what it used to in the past 3 months
- She says she is feeling "different towards us" after some fights we had 3 months back.
- It also came with her having a short temper, getting frustrated and annoyed with little things I do
- She has no idea why she feels this this way, we are trying to figure it out but have hit a dead end.
- I realize a lot of this points to cheating - I never rule it out but I have reason to strongly believe against it. INB4 Cheating.
- Phuck, too hard to explain, just read the whole thing. Cliffs don't do it justice.

cliffs of cliffs: women don't know wtf they want

[irollurmom]

I suggest taking a break from each other for a few months. Date other people and see where your feelings lie after that.

[RonPaul2012]

I ended my relationship of over a year after pretty much what you are saying...

[BlackCrow333]

You sound gay. Drink a protein shake!

[TheMachina]

Bang her dad that will make her jealous and she'll stop sucking Tyrones balls and come back to your queefy looking ass

[Quibble]

Go no contact and never explain why.


Of course like most OPs you will go full beta and not listen

[echsos]

In all 100% seriousness, this does sound like cheating.

1) She no longer feels the same fiery attraction towards you even though you said the spark never seemed to have left in your opinion. The reasoning for this could be that she's finding that same love-high from another person.
2) She's getting aggravated with every little thing you do because she thinks to herself that "the other person doesn't do that" or it could be a sign that she's looking for little reasons to break up with you.

The only other possibility is that you guys have been together so long the relationship has indeed started to become stale. But from your point of view, the relationship still has a spark which leads me to believe that it could be a cheating scenario even if she hasn't slept with somebody else yet. Could just be that she started flirting with somebody else from work and may have kissed, etc.

[Sinergy2010]

If shes not cheating, shes talking to someoen who she would rather be with. Usually indication of why shes so annoyed by your presence man. It happens. It sucks, your 23, shes 23.. You both got a lot of growing up to to do and should go have fun.

[RAGEDEMON87]

I just broke up with mine after 5 years

deal with it and stop being a *******

[OnlyMiscNotFit]

Definitely cheating...

You fuarked up when she became your best friend...and when you told her to do what she wants.

If she's annoyed by you is because there's someone you are being compared to.

No sex...c'mon son. Someone is whispering some shiet on her eat or some dude is beating that roast beef.

More than your mom? Son you fuarked up badly. I hope you kept your friends around.

It's over.

[chalup]

She says she gets easily frustrated and annoyed with tiny little things I do, just me being me. She doesn't know why.

She is slowly building up resentment that will snowball and be even worse down the road OP. It happens to people our age all the time, mine happened to a 5 year relationship when i was 22. People actually grow up during 20-25 and change without actually knowing it. She has/is obviously doing this and it will never go back to how it was. Would say sorry brah but you are young and said you grew a lot from it, doesn't really sound like it's something to be sorry about.

[xxsupergman25xx]

sorry man, it seems like its over. i kinda had something similar. once they have that lost interest thing, it leads to cheating. maybe she hasnt sexually cheated yet but shes probably talking to another guy already.

[eat-sleep-lift]

3 years is a long time. Maybe it's time to take a little time apart from each other. You guys can 'break up' and still be exclusive for a while and see if the distance brings you together again. You seem like a mature guy so i dont think you have too much to worry about, you and your GF will come to a logical conclusion. For now it is just impossible to tell. GL brah

[Youbestsquatfoo]

Its over, my ex was the same way before we broke up

[Baseball_Guy]

It's because she's tasted someone elses cawk or is strongly thinking about it / is in love with someone else

She's in strong denial anyway brah and there's a lot she's not telling you. There's a little sloot hidden in every girl and they will unleash their inner sloot either before dating you, while being with you or after you and this is a fact brothers.

I agree there is something she is not telling him. Who knows what or why she is hiding it.

I've known couples who got in that situation, split, and then a year later the woman was chasing to get the guy back.

I would be honest and say what I feel. If you want her tell her. I wouldn't play games if you know each other as well as you wrote.

[StUck686]

move on and dont waste your time. if it is meant to be you will end up together.

[BoltzmannEq]

cliffs of cliffs: women don't know wtf they want

amen

[ks12]

OP- I'm not going to link to my break up thread bc I don't really feel like going to find it, especially since you can find it fairly easy under my posts (its about not being able to get over my ex) BUT... I was going through something very similar with my ex, not the exact same but similar. Sometimes we do things, annoying or hurtful things without even realizing it. I'm not saying you're doing anything of the sort but it is a possibility. I was doing things that I didn't even realize were wrong or bad but also some of the effects of stuff that I did know were bad that i did manifested itself later in the relationship and I didn't know why. I recommend going on a break. Dont go around and screw other people but definitely take some time apart with minimal contact. Maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a month and just live your life as you see fit. (Again, you both have to be on the same page with not screwing others, though). What the time apart will do is let you step back and take an objective look at the situation, things that would of never of occurred to you while you were in the middle of the situation will suddenly become more clear to you as you're able to take a clear look at the big picture. This may not work in this situation but it also may do you a world of good. Either way, its worth a shot

[EUROBRAH]

About 8 months ago same fck hapened to me. Best sh*t that ever hapened to me, first it will suck, you will act like a b*tch, you will stalk her on fb, try to catch every move she do. But then, you start to loose interest, you grow up and find someone else who is worth it. If it didnt hapened, I would never have found my cute polish gf and would still be with that fcking fat b*tch.

You are going to say beta things, prob cry and feel like you have nothing left in life. Motivation? Gone, Inspiration? Nope, Fun? ***** plz...you are going to do things that once were fun and they won't be anymore. Your weekends will be a drunk blurs with fragments of moments that remind you what fun is.
My point is that it's impossible to get away from the BS emotions that come from a break up, but dude it's going to get 100% better and when you start noticing other girls, getting attention you won't even care. When it's all said and done you are going to be greatful it's over, but proud that you made and it through and hopefully you will be able to say you are better off. Try to think about the real reason you even liked this girl, maybe it was all ego and you need to mature and stop being selfish. Be honest with yourself and fake it until you make it. There is no excuse to sit at home having a pity party. You go out even if you don't feel like it.



“I don’t want a shoulder to lean on. I don’t need it. The whole idea of “Someone, that special someone!” is for me a load of ****. I must be fully contained. No leakage, no spillover. Dependency is weakness. It’s such a lie. Lying there in bed, in your lover’s arms. She's behind me, she believes in me! No one is behind me. I am behind me. I believe in me. I don’t need any support group to keep my head together. I know what i have to do, so I should shut up and do it."
-Henry Rollins

I HATE THAT BYTCH I HATE HER.

ARE YOU AWARE THAT:
While you were thinking about how great she was, while you were laughing, being a good bf, maybe sleeping or miscin' with a healthy smile on your face, that BYTCH was getting PENETRATED by another guy? That guy probably doesn't even lift. Do you know the guy? Imagine him, sweaty, even more sweaty than your girlfriend, mixing sweat, while she is humming in approval as he puts his deek inside again and again. Her necklace is bouncing up and down while she was riding him. Her hands on his chest. She got an orgasm from another man while she was with you. She was ON HER KNEES sucking his deek. How does that make you feel? Who do you kneel before? A king? A god? A prince? Was that guy either? YOUR woman kneeled before another guy submissively to SUCK HIS D!CK. How does that make you feel?
Now that she is free to be the sloot she is, she will do so with him, and with other guys. Probably broadcasters too. How does that make you feel? The guys that she will get smashed by won't even lift. They will be skinny *******s with extra large shirts that use twitter and use hashtags on ********. How does that make you feel? Imagine the guy she cheated with you SMILING while she's sucking his deek. Now imagine all those new guys that will be smiling while she sucks theirs too. SMILING while you're here, such a great guy doing great things,, she will be sucking their deek and they will be smiling, smacking her around, treating her like sh!t and talking about how such a sloot she was with their friends. How does that make you feel?
How does that make you feel brah? U mad brah? Lol, those two probably LAUGHED AT YOU "yeah I have to go my bf thinks I'm at the movies" lol they lmaod. How does that make you feel? U mad? I PHUKING HOPE YOU ARE! I want your heart to be pumping hate. HATE THAT BYTCH. When you blow I want you to blow phuking fire. I want you to cry mofo. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and look at a MONSTER. She has created a MONSTER that is full of HATE. ANGER. Now take that anger and hit the phuken gym man. When you're squatting I want you to think about her getting phucked, get mad bro. Get mad as phuck. Rage. Become that beast you now see in the mirror. Set a 3 month goal and do whatever it takes to be the most aesthetic brah she has ever laid her eyes on. Don't neglect the other areas in your life, be it work or studying... become THE BEST HUMAN BEING she has ever laid eyes on her PATHETIC AND INSIGNIFICANT LIFE. Make her feel like **** for just being in the same room as you.

[second2noneBrah]

Been there bro. Cheating or not its over. Youre not gonna fix it.